by Petrova, Em
“Of course, I mean you and Josselyn. You do want to be married, don’t you?” she asked.
Was he transparent to a degree even a casual acquaintance could see right through him? “Yes, I do want to marry Josselyn. Very much so,” he admitted.
“Go home and talk with her about it. If you want to come along, you’re more than welcome. Just remember—don’t tell anyone else.”
***
Ben drove home, his mind swirling along several trains of thought, mostly regarding new homes, weddings, and a possible baby. Pulling the Corvette up to the curb, he switched off the ignition and stared up at the dark house.
If things didn’t work out between them and he had to leave, losing his childhood home would make him sad, but at least he had the option of buying the property on the lake he really wanted. He would still be a part of Unity, even if it was just to escape from the city on the weekends and holidays.
Ben eased open the front door and gently closed it behind him. Everything was still and dark. Upstairs, Josselyn was asleep. Was she still upset with him?
In the kitchen, he turned on the light and saw a stack of envelopes, yellowed with age, and tied together with a purple ribbon. On the top was a sheet of paper. He immediately recognized Josselyn’s flowing handwriting.
Ben—I remembered seeing these envelopes with your father’s things. I hope these letters might help you to understand what Meaghan meant to him. I had to ask your Aunt Maribelle to send these. At first she didn’t want to (perhaps a heart-felt letter to her from you might go a long way), but I have tried to convince her you are a good man, and that I have come to love you very deeply. Joss.
“I love you, too, Josselyn, more than you know,” he whispered.
Removing the ribbon from the stack of letters, he carefully examined the return address of a hospital in Boston on the top envelope. The fading postmark was stamped twenty years earlier. The second envelope was postmarked from Tokyo, Japan. The third was from Egypt and others—France, Germany, Switzerland, and Belgium—as well.
He removed a typewritten sheet of paper from an envelope and read it.
Dear Dr. Parnell: Please accept my deepest condolences upon hearing of your daughter’s illness. I have thoroughly read through the paperwork you have forwarded and consulted with several colleagues. We are in agreement that the treatment your daughter is currently receiving is her best option for a hopeful outcome. I am sorry I could not be of more assistance. If I can be of any further help, please do not hesitate to telephone me.
For a very long time he sat in the kitchen, hearing nothing but the sound of his own breathing. For twenty years he had let Meaghan’s death haunt his life, directing his pain and bitterness at his father for not caring about her, and for doing nothing to try to prolong her precious life.
In reality, his father tried in vain to find a doctor or a clinic somewhere in the world that might have a magic treatment to save his little girl. Right in front of him was letter after letter from doctors who had possessed no magic, only sympathy.
His father hadn’t wanted him to get his hopes up, and when the news was the worst, he hadn’t wanted to devastate him anymore than he already had been. Now, his father was gone, and they had never made peace with each other. Somewhere, he hoped his father would forgive him.
When he finished reading through the letters, he carefully retied the purple ribbon into a bow, rested his head on his folded arms, and closed his eyes.
He awoke to the sound of rain pelting against the kitchen window. He stood and stretched his back. Very quietly, he walked up the stairs and peered into Josselyn’s bedroom where he could make out a faint silhouette of her body in the bed they shared up until their unfortunate misunderstanding.
Would she welcome him back into her bed? He desperately needed to be close to her. He removed his sneakers and peeled off his t-shirt. The well-worn buttons on his jeans popped open without much effort, and he pushed his jeans from his hips and left them discarded on the floor.
Slipping under the sheet, he hugged her from behind cuddling his body against Josselyn’s soft curves and pushed her hair away to kiss her neck and shoulders. She sighed sweetly in return, her body soft and warm and smelling of lilacs. A surge of arousal consumed him.
“I love you, Josselyn,” he whispered.
“I love you, too,” she murmured in a soft, sleepy voice.
For a very long time, he simply held her in his arms and listened to her breathe, experiencing an emotion he couldn’t quite put his finger on. For certain he was calm, but it was more. Suddenly he knew what it was. He was content. A state that had eluded him his entire adult life.
Josselyn offered him something he longed for—a chance at happiness and total fulfillment. As far back as he could remember, he wanted a family of his own. He’d been a fool to become so upset when she told him she could be pregnant. Wanting a baby and wanting Josselyn, he now had to convince her they were meant to be together forever.
Chapter Twelve
Josselyn awoke before dawn. Before climbing out of bed, she paused to stroke Ben’s blond hair and leave a lingering kiss against his brow. How she loved this man!
To not disturb him, she carefully slid from the bed. He had a big day ahead of him, his first at the medical practice filling in to allow Patrick an afternoon with Autumn.
She, too, was starting today as a temporary nurse. First she was going to visit Autumn, and take her some home baked cranberry muffins.
Walking down the stairs and into the kitchen, she started a pot of coffee and pulled out the ingredients she needed to put together the muffins. On the kitchen table, she spotted a little neatly wrapped gift with a card with her name on it written in Ben’s handwriting.
She lifted the card. It read:
Will you accept a ring from me?”
She opened the package to find a new shiny pink cell phone. So there was the connection—a phone that rings. Very clever, Ben, she thought, as she examined the new phone.
Though he felt bad over his former fiancée getting her phone number, a new phone hadn’t been necessary. She could handle herself just fine when it came to Tracey trying to intrude into their lives. Still, she smiled, and put the phone into her handbag.
She dressed for the day while the muffins baked and wrapped them up still warm to leave for her visit. Autumn Leighton was genuinely happy to see her when she arrived. Autumn brewed a pot of decaf, and they sat outside to enjoy the warm morning breeze.
Josselyn wondered if Autumn was someone she could confide in. A real friend she could become close to, and share things with would be so nice. Autumn was a sweet girl, she was sure. In a perfect world, it might all work out so beautifully. If she and Ben married, and if Ben became partners with Patrick in the medical practice, they might all become close friends, and their children would grow up together and be best friends.
Josselyn knew she was getting way ahead of herself. Her past was always there to warn her not to get her hopes up for a happy ending. The ‘ifs’ and the ‘maybes’ were always there, never certainty.
“Ben and I had an ugly argument yesterday afternoon. I think I may have overreacted to something. I practically forced him out of the house. He came back, but I feel bad, and I’m not even sure if I should feel bad,” she tried to explain.
“Is this all about Ben missing our dinner party the other evening?” Autumn ventured a guess.
“It’s part of it. I wanted to go with him into the city, and he said I’d only be bored. Then he never bothered to call me to let me know he wasn’t coming home. I felt so left out, and his thoughtlessness put me in awkward situation.”
Autumn smiled and gave Josselyn’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “First of all, don’t give Ben’s missing our dinner party a second thought. Patrick and I had a lovely evening getting to know you. I’m sure both you and Ben are stressed. I’m also sure my husband hasn’t helped matters by pressuring you both to work with him.”
“Oh, I’m hap
py to help out, and I really think Ben needs this change. I believe he’s had enough of the city life, and he wants to come home to his friends and the familiar. We are stressed, that’s true. I mean, I love him, I really do, but he’s got a not-so-distant past with an ex-fiancée. That was the real brunt of the argument—he went to the city to get back the engagement ring he gave her. I was so hurt that he didn’t trust me enough to tell me.”
“It sounds like it was just a big misunderstanding, Joss. Maybe he was trying to spare your feelings. No woman wants to deal with their significant other’s former lover. Just forgive, forget, and move on. If it hadn’t been for a single misunderstanding, Patrick and I would have been married for more than fifteen years, instead of only two. Don’t let something similar happen to you and Ben. I guess what I’m trying to say is sometimes you have to believe. If I had believed in my feelings all those years ago, my life would have turned out very differently.”
“Yes, but look what you’ve got now—you have a man who absolutely loves you, and soon you’re going to have two beautiful babies in your arms. I’d say your life is perfect.”
“That’s true,” Autumn smiled and lifted her coffee cup to her lips.
Josselyn looked at her watch. “Well, as much as I would love to stay and chat, I’ve got to go be a nurse for a few hours.”
***
Ben awoke to the alarm blaring from the clock on the bedside table. Half asleep, he fumbled to turn it off and reached across the bed for Josselyn, only to find her side of the bed cold and empty. Disappointed, he couldn’t dwell on where she might be. He needed to get into the shower. As of today, he was a working man again. He actually looked forward to the change. A few hours of seeing patients would distract him from thinking about Josselyn and how things between them were still unsettled.
After a shower and a shave, Ben dressed in his favorite hand tailored grey suit, and expertly knotted a red striped silk tie around the collar of his crisp white dress shirt. After attaching a gold cufflink to each cuff, he slipped on his watch and ran a comb through his hair.
His hair was nearly platinum from the days he spent in the sun, and grown down past his collar. He didn’t mind. As a matter of fact, he liked it. Things were different here in Unity. He was different. Here he could be himself, not live up to some image of what others expected him to be.
With a new spring in his step, he descended the stairs and hoped to find Josselyn in the kitchen. Instead, only a plate of cranberry muffins sat on the butcher block table. Although disappointed again that she wasn’t there to see him off to his first day at work, he would see her later in the afternoon. With so many things he needed to say to her, he hoped she would be open to hearing him and understanding.
He walked through the glass door of the practice full of confidence, with his shoulders straight and strong and his head held high. Still, a little part of him wondered if the ghosts of the past would forever haunt the place. Would he always expect to see his father around every corner?
A few patients sat in the waiting room. He smiled an acknowledgment to each of them as he passed.
The receptionist smiled warmly. “Welcome, Dr. Parnell. Dr. Leighton is in his office waiting for you.” She was a pretty girl in her early twenties, dressed semi-causally in a sleeveless purple blouse and tailored linen shorts.
“Thank you,” he said as he walked through and knocked on the door to Patrick’s office.
“Come,” called Patrick.
Opening the door, he walked inside Patrick’s office to see the man behind his desk dressed in jeans and a t-shirt. He felt overdressed and a bit self-conscious.
“It’s great to see you, Ben.” Patrick jumped to his feet to shake his hand. “If you have any problems or questions Cindy can’t help with, don’t hesitate to call me.”
“I’m sure once I figure my way around things, I’ll be just fine.”
“You’ve got one of my repeat patients waiting in room one. She’s a nervous new mother. She’s only seventeen and terrified. Her mother is no help, and the baby’s father is absent. They keep coming back and insist something is wrong with the baby. The only thing wrong is the girl is inexperienced, and the baby is picking up on her mother’s nerves. If they continue to insist, rather than put the baby through unnecessary blood work and testing, I suggest we refer the baby to a pediatrician at the Citizen’s General. My patience with them has about reached its end.”
Patrick grabbed his briefcase and headed for the door. “Anyway, I’ve taken extensive notes. Good luck!”
When he was gone, Ben grabbed the file hanging on the door of the examination room. Patrick hadn’t been exaggerating when he had said he took extensive notes. The baby was only two months old, but she already had an inch-thick file.
He scanned through Patrick’s notes. The baby was a crier. Maybe an opinion from a second doctor would convince the mother and grandmother the child was healthy.
He knocked twice and opened the door. As he stepped into the room, he stopped short. Dressed in a pink scrubs with her raven hair tied back in a ponytail was his Josselyn. She held the tiny, wispy haired baby girl in her arms with her cheek pressed against the baby’s cheek.
She looked so beautiful and so content with a baby in her arms, he could only imagine what it would be like for her to be holding their child in her arms. At that moment, he wanted her more than he ever wanted anything in his life.
“Here’s Dr. Parnell now,” she said with a smile. “Dr. Parnell, this is Baby Neva, her mother Ali, and grandmother, Dusty.”
Finally, he found his voice. “Good afternoon, ladies.”
“Well, hello,” Dusty purred and got to her feet. “Two handsome doctors here now. I’ll have to get sick more often. Can I assume by the lack of a ring on your left hand you’re not married?” She tossed her outrageous red hair. Her daughter sported a similar shade.
Ben despised Dusty’s directness, but he was a professional who knew how to remain cordial. “I’m not married, but I am very happily involved.” He winked at Josselyn. Hopefully the gesture and words were enough to diffuse Dusty’s interest in him.
After examining the baby, he reiterated to Ali what Patrick told them time and time before. The baby was healthy. He suggested Ali sign up for parenting classes, and wished them a good afternoon. Josselyn showed them out while he scribbled a few notes in the file. A few minutes later, Josselyn returned and busied herself tidying the room.
Closing the door to give them a moment of privacy, he swept her into his arms and covered her lips with his.
“Why, Doctor, we have patients waiting.” She chuckled as she wound her arms around his neck and kissed him again.
“Shouldn’t you be in some short little white dress with thigh high stockings and wearing one of those darling little white caps?” he joked.
“I’m saving that outfit for another day,” she teased.
“Thanks for being here,” he whispered in her ear.
“You’re welcome, but you’re doing fine. You look great,” she said, straightening his tie.
“Not too overdressed?”
“Not at all,” she assured as she wiped her lipstick from his face.
The afternoon passed by easily, and Ben found with each patient he saw, his confidence grew. At five o’clock, he was ready to lock up and be on his way home with Josselyn. When their final patient was finally gone for the day, Ben finished up his paperwork in Patrick’s office while Josselyn change out of scrubs.
As he caught sight of her in only bra and panties, he got to his feet. “I have to have you immediately.” He swept Josselyn into his arms. Laying her on the desk, pencils and pens fell onto the floor and photograph frames toppled over.
“Ben, we cannot make love on Patrick’s desk!” She laughed merrily. “I’ll never be able to look at him with a straight face ever again! Besides, I think the front door might be still open. Can you imagine a patient walking in and seeing the new doctor doing the nurse?”
H
e buried his face between her breasts and delighted in her gasp of pleasure.
“I don’t care. This is heaven.”
Her hands went to his hair. “How about a compromise?” she suggested. “We finish up here, go home, order a pizza, and spend all night in bed. You and me...naked.”
***
Josselyn put the key into the door lock and fumbled to get inside and upstairs. She wanted to greet Ben in bed when he came home from picking up a pizza at the Lovin’ Oven.
When she stepped inside the house, she spotted an Overnight Express envelope lying at her feet. She looked at the address and frowned, to Dr. M.B. Parnell. Who would be sending Morgan mail at this address? The sender probably didn’t know Morgan passed away, but still, even when he was alive, Morgan hadn’t lived at this address for many years. She took the envelope upstairs with her. Ben could open the letter and decide how to deal with it.
Slipping out of her jeans and t-shirt, she tossed her clothing on a nearby wing chair and slipped into bed, anticipating a wonderfully romantic night full of lovemaking and intimate conversation.
Ben came through the front door. Hot footsteps rushed up the stairs causing her heart to flutter in her chest in anticipation like a schoolgirl experiencing her first crush.
“Get it while it’s hot,” he announced as he stepped into the bedroom carrying a pizza box.
“Get undressed and get into bed now,” she said commanded.
Ben needed no further prompting. Stripping off his clothes, he was beside her in a flash. The pizza would have to wait a little while longer.
Chapter Thirteen
“I almost forgot. A courier delivered this envelope while we were away today. It’s addressed to your father. I thought you would want to be the one to open it.”