by Petrova, Em
His life and history remained here. As deep as Christine’s roots ran in the mainland, his ran just as deep here. Generations of Jergens lived, loved, worked, and died here. He remained one of a dying race of natives who didn’t move away, craving the outside world like his sister, like Monica. While Christine could never be like her, the need to be independent and strong ran deep. After all, he traveled extensively, so wanderlust flowed in his veins as well. Charlie sighed over her head and heard her murmur, snuggling closer. They may be from two different worlds, but he’d never felt as close and joined to another person as he felt right now.
“I won’t ask you to take a chance when I’m not sure I can do the same.” His whisper stirred her hair, yet she remained asleep. “I won’t ask, like I once did another, for your dreams to come second to mine. I won’t disregard all your work these last months and years to become this strong woman I admire, who survived things no woman should even experience. So what the hell are we going to do?” His head rested on hers. “I could always apply for a transfer; make a new life in your world. I’m finally due for promotion, so I’ll lose my place and have to start all over. Which I could, sure, but I’d also have to leave the state where so many of my family are buried? Where part of my own soul is buried?”
Christine shifted as if in protest. Part of his soul also lay buried in the woman he held, he realized with a jerk, and had for a long time. So now what? “God, what a mess.”
Charlie breathed in the scent of strawberries and satisfied woman. They could continue like this, since he often traveled to the mainland, arrange times to be together, visit each other, experience pleasure and joy again. Many couples had successful long distance relationships, and they’d already established email and Skype links, phone calls, video chats. It could work.
But would it satisfy either of them in the long term?
Chapter Six
It’s all different, Christine thought as they walked to the airport terminal. Everything had changed and not for the better. Waking with Charlie, seeing his smile first thing in the morning was a pleasure beyond even first morning cup of coffee. Yet something had changed, creating an awkward morning after and keeping them too quiet through a near silent breakfast and her preparations to leave.
Christine had showered and dressed alone, while Charlie went to make some phone calls. Why hadn’t he used the phone in the room? Did he need to hide something? Christine tried to rationalize it. She’d never seen or talked to him this early in the day, maybe he just wasn’t a morning person. Or maybe work beckoned, accounts and information she shouldn’t overhear, so he needed privacy. It could be a simple explanation.
Or maybe she just fooled herself. They had crossed an invisible line from friends to lovers, and the way back seemed out of reach for the moment. The emails back and forth, the silly messenger notes, text messages and nightly Skype calls, would all of these change too? Had Christine lost his friendship in exchange for a night of incredible sex? It made no sense. But what else could she think when Charlie wouldn’t touch her, didn’t look at her or hold her hand? What had she done?
Now she would board a plane in a couple of hours and travel thousands of miles away when the last thing she wanted to do was leave. Christine wanted to stay curled in Charlie’s arms, wanted to kiss and stroke him, feel his body inside her again. She wanted to hold hands and watch him smile. Something had changed. She glanced at him but read nothing from his expression. One night of amazing sex and now it was over? If she had no clue how she felt, how could she discover what he felt?
The terminal loomed before them. Once inside, it would be a simple matter of checking in and clearing security. How would a confident, self-assured woman handle saying goodbye? A casual peck on the cheek and a breezy, “Had fun, see you?” Or the simple approach: “Enjoyed it, take care and no worries, mate?” How could she have been so stupid to think nothing would change?
Christine checked in, chatted a bit to assure the clerk, Elizabeth, she’d enjoyed her unexpected time in Hawaii, and walked back to where Charlie waited near the stairs for her gate. He glanced at the arrival and departure board and something inside her wilted.
Clock watching, the ultimate sign of boredom like he couldn’t wait to be rid of her. She’d make it easy then. Christine took her laptop case from him, her lips stiff in a forced smile. “I have an hour, so I’ll head on up, breathe a bit, maybe meditate to get in the frame of mind to board another plane.” Charlie nodded, said nothing, unsmiling as his gaze remained on the board. Christine cleared her throat and bit her lip. “Thank you for everything.”
He gazed down, his navy eyes blank, shuttered. The open book he’d once been to her slammed shut and padlocked with no way to open again. “All right, not a problem.”
Christine couldn’t stand it and held him, listening to his heartbeat under her ear, savoring the scent of him, his strength, and the feel of hard warm skin beneath his shirt. She opened her mouth to say something, anything to make them friends once more and stop this damned awkwardness.
Charlie released and stepped back. “Have a safe trip and text me when you get home.”
Dismissed. No other word for it. Businessman Jergens ready to get back to work and real life. Christine summoned another smile and refused with every ounce of stubbornness flowing in her veins to let him see her upset. “See you.”
She didn’t run but wasted no time moving to the security checks, removing her shoes, empting her pockets. The security people were friendly, asking how her stay had been, how she enjoyed her time in their island, every bit as nice as the day before. Had it only been yesterday she’d sat right over there on the floor for hours? The contrast between their concerned questions and Charlie’s all but dead silence almost made her determination not to weep break. Almost.
After her clearance, Christine climbed the stairs to the next level. The same sights and smells from yesterday surrounded her, the noise and bustle flowing. But it felt different now, like she had entered a tunnel kept apart from everything and everyone else. She had to see Charlie one last time.
He stood in the same place staring at her, and their gazes met. In those depths she saw the same uncertainty, need, and misery she felt. Maybe their parting had caused this mood; after all, she’d been moody herself about leaving, unsure how to say goodbye or where they went from here. Christine truly smiled, kissed her fingers, and waved to him. Charlie’s gaze shifted in a split second, seeming to shoot right through as if he searched for someone else.
“Oh my God, Charlie!” A tall, beautiful woman with flowing dark hair, a body made for sin, and endless legs in impossibly high heels ran to him. She threw herself into his arms, hugging him as if they were the only two people on the planet and began to talk at break neck speed.
Christine wanted to sink into the floor or scream. She watched him swing the girl off her feet, laugh the way he had last night, and seem incredibly sexy and happy at the same time. Animated, alive, and obviously moving on. Damn, damn, damn. What had she done?
***
Charlie watched Christine at the counter, a lump in his throat. It would be weeks before he saw her in person again. She smiled and chatted with a simple grace that enchanted everyone around her. The counter clerk laughed, and they talked as if they were old friends, making Christine tip back her head and giggle. His light, his sun, his Christine, and he had to let her depart when he wanted her in his arms and their bodies as one. Yet they weren’t one; they hadn’t been since their last love making. Part of Christine had already left. He had noticed her awkwardness that morning, the way she pulled from his arms and all but ran into the bathroom. He’d made some excuse about phone calls and went for a long walk, trying to solve this mystery and figure a way to tell her he wanted more than friendship.
He picked up a surprise for her, yet when he’d returned, she had packed what little she’d taken out. Her face closed, her thoughts concealed behind a quiet mask of politeness as she closed the bathroom door and finis
hed getting ready to leave. When she exited, the dark eyes he loved stared through him. Never had he felt farther from her, which only made him wonder if she wished the night, her boldness, all they did and experienced together hadn’t happened. Women didn’t regret nights with him; he usually had to turn down their invitations. Though she didn’t say the words, he sensed Christine’s regret, and something inside him closed off in defense.
Charlie watched her clear customs and talk with the security agents, several who gazed at her with such admiration, one in particular who leaned far too close for professionalism. Charlie wanted to pull a caveman stunt, punch him in the mouth, and sweep his Christine off to where they could be alone. He noticed people smiled at her naturally recognizing the same ethereal quality he did and wanting to be part of it. He could hardly fault the guard for the same thoughts Charlie had. Christine bent to put on her shoes, and he moaned, recalling how her cute ass slid down his chest, how it fit against him as he slid inside her last night, and the tightness of her gripping his cock. She climbed the stairs, and like a lovesick boy, Charlie stood there hoping she’d turn back, wave, blow a kiss, something, anything. God, what the hell? What had she done to him?
Then he got slammed. “Oh my God, Charlie!”
“Ooof!” He barely got the word out as she squeezed the breath from him. “Alyssa?”
She laughed, her similar dark blue eyes sparkling. “Did you finally come to take me to coffee and catch up?”
Charlie grinned, started to speak, and then glanced back up the stairs. Christine had disappeared. He stood still, hoping she’d somehow come back. But what would happen? What did he want her to say? As Alyssa chattered, it hit him like a punch to the gut. Christine was gone.
“Hey, Charlie. Elizabeth paged me and said you were here again.” Harry joined them and nudged Alyssa. “Apparently, your brother and some gorgeous blonde put on quite the kissing show outside Starbucks yesterday. I’d like to meet her.”
“Who is she?” Alyssa brushed back a long strand of black hair. “I want to meet the woman who can make you forget all about convention and do a PDA. Where is she?”
“Lysa, back off.” Harry shook his head and grinned. “If Charlie wants to tell you about her, he will after he tells his best friend. Me. Though I doubt he’ll tell you, since he doesn’t talk his sex life with his kid sister.”
Alyssa punched his arm. “Charlie can always tell me anything. He’s my big brother. We tell each other everything.”
Harry crossed his arms. “So you told him about the pilot you’re dating?”
“We weren’t dating.” Alyssa scoffed. “We had drinks after a flight.”
“He got plastered and you ended up spending the night in his hotel room.” Harry pushed his glasses up. “The whole airport is talking about it.”
“Damn you, big mouth.” Alyssa shoved her hands on her hips and tapped her foot. “Just because you’re the boss here doesn’t mean you’re the boss over me. And that’s not what happened.”
Charlie held up a hand, Christine momentarily forgotten. “You and some drunken pilot in a hotel room all night, alone?”
Alyssa glared at Harry. “Before you get your big bro boxers in a twist, nothing happened. The pilot got carried away with shots, I helped him up to his room, and he passed out in a five star hotel. I took advantage of him being asleep and enjoyed the perks of a tub big enough to swim in. Nothing wrong with that.”
Charlie shook his head. “The hell there isn’t. You could have been raped or molested. Jesus, I taught you better than to go with some drunk to a hotel room.”
“Charles Jergens, I can take care of myself. Had the pilot, who is old enough to be my father by the way, tried anything, he’d be out cold from the defense judo you taught me. I’m not an idiot, and I’m not helpless. Harry Big Mouth here”—she glared at Harry—”should learn to keep his trap shut about gossip if he has no idea if it’s true or false. Now, I guess this explains where you were last night, why you didn’t answer my texts, and why your cell went right to voicemail.”
“Gorgeous blonde from the mainland crash landed here on the jumbo from Australia.” Harry nodded and his glasses slid down. “I bet he had his cell turned off so they could celebrate her narrow escape.”
Alyssa grabbed his arm. “Crash land? I didn’t hear about that. Why am I always the last to hear things? There’s no damage outside. What happened?”
Harry shook off her grip. “Maybe you’re the last to hear things because you’re too busy playing sexy mermaid in some pilot’s fancy hotel room.”
“Shut up. Why do I bother to even talk to you anyway?” Alyssa turned to Charlie, her expression concerned. “Is your friend all right?”
Charlie nodded. “Yes, she’s fine, just as all the passengers were. Sorry about last night. We were occupied.”
“I knew it.” Harry chuckled and filled Alyssa in on what happened with the plane. “It caused us some ruckus all those unexpected people in our little terminal. But we got them all re-routed and back on their merry ways. Some even spoke of coming back after this glimpse of our fair state. So the plane’s engine trouble may have been a blessing in disguise.”
A blessing all right, at least for a while. But will it become a curse? Charlie shoved his hands in his pockets and searched the upper floor one last time for a glimpse of Christine.
“It sounds like they were all really lucky.” Alyssa took her brother’s hand. “So, who is this friend? Her name?”
“Christine.” Charlie smiled at his sister when she gasped.
Mouth open, features holding shock, she didn’t disappoint. “Oh my God. The Christine landed here? Where is she now? You promised I could meet her.”
“She’s boarding her flight.” Charlie shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. “Maybe next time.”
“She’s coming back?” Alyssa grinned and bounced a bit. “I can’t wait. And you, brother dear, are a slick customer. I have to go for my own flight now so no time for coffee.”
“The overseas to Hong Kong doesn’t leave for hours.” Harry pushed at his glasses and glanced at the scheduling board.
“Something the Big Boss doesn’t know. I switched with Amy for the LA. I’ll be back tonight so I’m calling you for all the details about Christine and her visit.” Alyssa hugged Charlie. “The only time I see you is when you have to fly mainland and we meet here in the airport. I miss you. Maybe we could skip the call and have dinner?”
“I miss you too. Sounds like a plan. Call me when you get back and we’ll get take out, curl up at home, and just relax. Be safe.” He kissed her cheek. “Stay away from drunken pilots.”
“See you.” Alyssa also gave Harry a hug, which surprised Charlie considering the way she’d smacked and glared at the poor man before. She dashed off. Fellow flight attendants almost as gorgeous appeared from nowhere to walk and laugh with her.
“There go the true flowers of Hawaii.” Harry made a thumping motion with his hand over his heart. “Damn I love this job if for nothing more than to see those gorgeous petals.”
Charlie regarded him a second. Harry had been his best friend as long as he could recall. Alyssa, only a year younger than her brother, tagged along with them so often they’d become the three musketeers. But lately, Charlie noticed something different in the way Harry treated Alyssa, something his sister either ignored or couldn’t see. “You really should just tell Alyssa how you feel.”
Harry disregarded his advice. “I noticed you didn’t come back to your place last night. The paper was still outside your door this morning. Found a better bed, a softer one?”
He’d found all he could ever want, except he had no idea how to hold onto her or even how to say goodbye. Charlie ran a hand through his hair and nodded.
When he didn’t speak, Harry cleared his throat. “Want me to clear you for the waiting area so you can stay with her until they board? In return, you can introduce me to this Christine and see if she has a single friend for me.”
&nbs
p; Charlie considered, tempted, God, so tempted. Maybe he only needed time to tell her they weren’t just a one night thing. But how could he say those words and not add the rest? From her reaction this morning, would she even listen to anything he had to say? Charlie made the decision but immediately doubted it. “Thanks, but no. I need to get to work, get some things done I’d neglected yesterday.”
Harry nodded, his expression more understanding than any words. “I need to get back to the grind too. See you later.”
“Later.” Charlie left the terminal fingering the silk scarf in his pocket. Would Christine miss it? He brought it out and inhaled the light scent of Christine, smiling at the memory of her bent over him, laughing and filled with desire as she tied him with this scarf. He’d taken the scarf while she showered and felt foolish, but he wanted, needed some physical memory of her, a piece to hold as he slipped a surprise in her suitcase. Ah Christine, I miss you already.
A couple holding hands passed him. Charlie stuffed the scarf back in his pocket and walked home to change and go to work. He did have a lot to do, things to catch up on, stuff he’d left in his rush to meet and be with her. Even as he vowed to push thoughts of her and their time together out of his mind, he knew he’d wait anxiously for her text announcing she’d arrived safe at home. God, what had she done to him?
***
Christine settled in her seat against the window and watched the sway of the distant palm trees and puffy clouds floating across the sky. She hadn’t seen much of Hawaii, only the best part.
“Would you care for a pillow?”
“Yes, please.” She glanced over at the flight attendant and felt her smile freeze. Charlie’s huggy friend, even more beautiful up close, stood smiling down. Wow. What chance did Christine have with Charlie against someone who radiated beauty and a subtle sexiness?
The attendant slid from the aisle to in front of the seat beside Christine to greet other passengers with a megawatt smile and a just-there native accent. “Perhaps a blanket too?”