by Petrova, Em
She stood speechless as he walked across the street and got inside a black Jeep. The ignition revved a moment later. Then he was gone.
Once his taillights disappeared, Cassie found the strength to go back into the house and shut the door. She shuffled her feet and proceeded to the living room. The empty house felt like a prison waiting to trap her into an extended sentence of loneliness.
Tears welled as the camellias came into view. She’d been right from the start. Theo had sent them.
As the first tear slid down her cheek, she collapsed against the couch and sobbed. None of it mattered now. Next week he’d be gone. He would be off chasing his dream. It was only a matter of time before he forgot her.
The longer she prolonged this, the harder it would be. She’d rather suffer the pain of losing him now. But it wouldn’t be easy, probably never would, because she knew the truth.
She’d sent him away on a lie.
***
Theo tapped his fingers against the steering wheel of his Jeep and glared at the two-story brick house across the street. He hadn’t been home in six years, but little had changed. There were still moss-covered oak trees on opposite sides of the yard. Mulch-lined walkways were adorned with various flowers his mother planted every year. But the item that reminded him the most of home were the row of camellia bushes lining the porch.
His mother took pride in her bushes. They were a gift from his paternal grandmother after she and his father were married. She’d told him the story many times over the years about how the bushes were all part of an original bush owned by his great-great-grandmother. It was her love of the camellia that led her to start her own floral shop. It had been in the family ever since. Now his mother and aunt managed the shop.
He wondered if his mom knew it was him who ordered the flowers for Cassie. Jonah told him once before that she was the one who dealt with most of the online and phone orders while their aunt worked the front of the shop. There was no doubt that she remembered Cassie.
He glanced at the house beside the one he was parked in front of. Cassie’s parents still lived across from his. She told him as much while they were lying in bed this afternoon.
He gripped the steering wheel tighter. How could they have gone from spending time in each other’s arms and talking about future possibilities to her insisting they need space? It wasn’t right. They belonged together. He only prayed she’d realize it before he left.
The distant sound of a door closing drew his attention back to his parents’ house. Part of him hoped to get a glimpse of his mother. Yet the person who’d walked outside wasn’t his mom. It was his dad.
Shit…
He sunk into his seat, cursing himself for having his window lowered. It had enough tinting to conceal his identity, but it did nothing for him when it was down.
Please don’t look this way.
The thought barely crossed his mind when his father peered in his direction. It wasn’t long before he advanced on the Jeep.
Gripping the key, he applied enough pressure to start the vehicle. Yet, he didn’t. So what if his dad was heading his way. It wouldn’t be the first time they traded harsh words.
By the time his dad was standing beside the car, he was braced for a confrontation. Yet when he looked at his dad, it wasn’t aversion he saw. He seemed relieved.
“It really is you.” His dad observed him. “Jonah said you were in town when he stopped in earlier this week. I wondered if you’d come by.”
“I hadn’t planned to. I honestly don’t know why I’m here. I just got behind the wheel and drove. This is where I ended up.”
“Because it’s home.”
Theo nodded. “Yeah. Once upon a time.”
He released the steering wheel and lowered his hands to his lap. As he rubbed them against his jeans, he questioned why he was at his parents’. He vaguely remembered the drive from Cassie’s house. He’d driven over five miles with no memory of a single car or building. One thing occupied his mind.
Losing Cassie.
“What’s troubling you, son?”
“So now I’m your son again?” His sarcasm made his dad grumble something under his breath, then he peeked toward Cassie’s old house. Guess his dad didn’t like being reminded of the things he said the day he kicked him out. “I don’t need your concern, Dad. You haven’t worried about me for the last six years. You don’t need to start now.”
“I’ve always worried about you.”
The thunderous sound of his father’s voice did little to faze him. He couldn’t say the same for his dad. The way he pinched the bridge of his nose and took a few deep breaths said he regretted shouting.
“Theo, I’m not proud of the way I treated you back then. I’ve prayed that you would come back so I could apologize for being such a shitty dad.”
As much as Theo wanted to agree with his statement, he didn’t. Admitting fault was hard. Saying I’m sorry was more difficult than saying I love you for most people. The L word was thrown around way too much. It’s why he’d never used it.
Yet his dad wasn’t solely to blame. He didn’t bother calling home, and he demanded that Jonah not divulge his number to their parents. His mother never hurt him, even tried to get his father to change his mind. He should have at least kept in contact with her.
It took an honorable person to bite back their pride and offer an apology. Hearing his father admit fault and confess he wanted to apologize left Theo stumped. Was Jonah right? Did his dad genuinely care?
After a moment of silence, his father cleared his throat and looked at him once again. “Did you know that right before you left for Louisiana, Jonah told me the real reason you were in that fight? By the time I could push my pride aside and apologize, you were already gone.”
Theo shrugged. He couldn’t say anything. Hearing his dad’s confession of regret was the last thing he’d expected. He’d imagined this day happening and what he’d do if his father ever apologized. The smug response he’d planned back then would cut his dad to the quick. Strangely enough, he didn’t want to hurt him anymore.
“Son, all I want is for you to do something positive with your life, not throw it away or end up in jail.”
“I am doing something positive. I’m not the same spoiled teenager that left the house. I hit rock bottom in New Orleans, and I’ve been busting my ass to get where I am today.”
His dad raised his hands defensively. “I know, Theo. Your brother told me about the fall out and everything that happened before you two made up. I’m proud of your accomplishments, but I worry this lifestyle will have a negative effect on you.”
“Trust me, dad. I’ve had a taste of this lifestyle already. I don’t want the drugs, the booze, or the easy women. There’s only one woman I want.”
“Are you involved with someone?” Once Theo shook his head, his father frowned. “Then how do you know which woman you want?”
“Because I’ve wanted her my entire life.”
Recognition flashed over his dad’s face. He looked toward Cassie’s parents’ house then back to him. “Cassie Clarke?”
Theo nodded. “I’ve spent time with her while I’ve been in town. I think I…I think I’m in love with her.”
His dad patted his shoulder then gave it a gentle squeeze. “Go talk to her. Tell her she’s the one.”
“I can’t. It’s more complicated than you think.”
“How so?”
Theo didn’t want to tell him the truth—how he came close to having sex with Cassie’s little sister. Yet lying wasn’t right. The only thing he could do was answer vaguely. “I’m not sure Cassie feels the same.”
“Then tell her why she should.”
Neither said anything else when the front door closed again, drawing their attention to the house. When he saw his mother’s gaping mouth, he knew he was in for a long visit.
It was just as well. His plans had already changed for the evening.
“Don’t say anything to Mom about t
his. I don’t want her getting her hopes up of me settling down. She’ll have my wedding and honeymoon planned before I’m dating.”
His father chuckled and moved away as Theo opened the door and exited his Jeep. “Don’t worry, son. I’ll let you tell her when the time comes.”
If the time comes…
The thought weighed on his mind as he joined his father in crossing the street. No matter how much he wanted to keep his thoughts positive, reality was too big of a bitch to allow him any peace.
Luck had never been on his side. He’d lost Cassie once before because of a poor decision. Ironically, it was another bad decision that cost him his second chance.
Only time would tell if he got a third.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Someone once said that time healed all wounds. It was supposed to include a broken heart, but Cassie disagreed. Two months had passed since Theo laid his last track on his band’s album and departed for L.A. Yet the pain in her heart remained. It hadn’t dulled in the least.
If she knew how much it would hurt in the end, she may have done things differently. She wouldn’t have spent his last week in Savannah working behind a locked door and closed blinds. She’d been grateful to Tom for handling her clients that week. Now that Theo was gone, regret haunted her.
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
She glanced up from her coffee cup and met Ally’s gaze. Her best friend hadn’t left her spot on the end of the couch near Cassie’s feet since she’d parked her rear on the cushion twenty minutes prior.
Nodding slowly, she took a swig of her mocha. The rich fluid swished around in her mouth before she managed to swallow it. Her belly flopped.
Ally tucked the blanket underneath her feet then patted the tops. “I’m sorry I forced you to go out today, but you had to see the doctor. You’ve already missed a week at the studio.”
“You’re right. I just don’t want you catching this.”
As Ally swirled her cup in her hands, she feigned a smile. “You’re the only person I know who can go to Europe on a business trip and come back with the flu.”
“Yeah…I’m a magnet for misfortune.”
There was no humor in her laughter. She wanted to put up a good front for Ally, but whenever Theo came to mind, it made her chest tighten.
“Have you heard from him?”
Ally’s question caught her off guard. She stammered for a response then pressed her lips together and sighed. “He’s texted a few times, but with the three-hour time difference, I don’t see them until morning. It’s been cordial, a simple, hey how are you, just thinking about you, hope you’re doing good kinda stuff.”
“Jonah said he’s been busy. They’re together most of the time, and he’s still staying at Jonah’s house. I’m surprised he hasn’t called.”
“I’m not stressing over it anymore. I’ll just keep doing what I’ve always done—take care of myself.” When Ally tried to object, Cassie grasped her left hand. She moved it from side to side as the diamond ring sparkled in the light. “So Jonah made a trip here just to propose?”
Ally blushed. “Yeah. He and Theo flew into Miami for a meeting. Theo had a few interviews lined up, so Jonah made a quick trip to see me.”
Cassie examined the diamond, ignoring the way it made her heart kink. She was happy for Ally. She and Jonah were finally going to have the life they’d always deserved. People like Ally got the fairy tale.
“Do you promise to be my maid of honor?”
Nodding again, Cassie cast the other thoughts from her mind and smiled at her best friend. “Of course. Nothing will keep me away.”
“Not even Theo being the best man?”
“Nope.” She leaned back against the couch as her stomach lurched. “We’re still friends.”
“Okay. As long as you’re good with it, so am I.”
“You’re my best friend, Ally. I’d do anything for you.”
“I know.” Ally clasped her hand and patted the top with her other one. “Even if it meant getting your heart broken.”
“I didn’t know you knew about that.”
“Jonah told me a few days after he and Theo arrived in L.A. I appreciate the two of you trying to get Jonah and me together, even if it didn’t go the way you planned. I just hate that you got hurt in the process.”
She had no one to blame but herself. It was her decision to put things on hold. She blamed it on what happened with Cori, but in truth, she was afraid something far worse would happen one day and he’d leave her. The pain of that would be too much. The less she contacted him, the sooner he’d forget about her.
“Don’t worry about me, Ally. If the flu doesn’t kill me, I’ll survive.”
“Use the weekend to recuperate. I’m sure you’ll be ready to go back to work on Monday. Deal with the rest when you’re better.”
Cassie hoped as much. The last week at home had bored her to tears. Or maybe it was the thoughts she had of Theo that caused her to cry.
Ally set her cup atop the coaster on the coffee table then grabbed her purse and stood. “I’m going to head out. I have a few errands to run before dinner with my mom. I put your medicine by the kitchen sink. I’ll check on you in the morning, but call me if you need anything.”
“Enjoy your dinner. I’m sure your mom will love hearing about your engagement.”
She managed to laugh this time when Ally rolled her eyes. “If she’s smart, she’ll keep quiet and be happy with the fact that she’s invited. After the way she threatened you and Jonah…”
“Your mom apologized to Jonah and me a month after you left for school. Besides, it was a long time ago. Holding on to resentment won’t change the past. It only makes one bitter. Focus on your future. Shape your life into what you want it to be.”
“Sounds like good advice.” Ally clung to her purse then tilted her head to the side. “Are you sure you don’t want to follow it and give Theo another chance?”
“He’ll forget me in time.”
Ally parted her lips like she had a witty comeback but closed them when she bumped her knee against the coffee table. A pile of mail fell against the floor. She shook her head and kneeled between the couch and coffee table, picking up the envelopes she’d scattered.
“Good grief. I’m making a mess.”
Cassie tugged her shirt-sleeve. “Don’t worry about it. I’ll pick it up later.”
“I’ve almost collected every—”
As Ally grew quiet, Cassie nudged her. “What’s wrong?”
Ally set the envelopes she’d collected on the coffee table, except one. She extended her hand in Cassie’s direction. “Did you see this?”
Taking the letter from her friend, she examined the handwriting spread across the envelope. She ignored her address and looked at the sender’s. Her face prickled when she noticed Theo’s name. The address below was somewhere in L.A. Probably Jonah’s, but she didn’t ask.
“I haven’t read my mail in a while. That’s why it’s piled up. I do all my bills online. Most of what I get is junk anyway.” She peeked at the date stamped across the top. “He must have mailed this right after he got to California.”
Ally rose to her feet while gawking at the letter in Cassie’s hand. “Are you going to read it?”
“I don’t know. Maybe later. Right now, I just want to sleep.”
Nodding slowly, Ally turned toward the door. “Get some rest. You need it. Love you, babe.”
“Love you too.”
Once the door clicked closed, Cassie held the letter in both hands. She thumbed over Theo’s handwriting and struggled with the decision on whether to open it. Did it matter what he said? His words were two months old. A lot could change in two months.
When curiosity got the best of her, she slid her finger under the flap and loosened it. Doing so was masochistic, but it didn’t stop her.
As she unfolded the letter, she was surprised to see it wasn’t very long. He kept it short and simple, yet powerful enough to take
her breath away.
No matter what you’re telling yourself, it’s not true. You’re it for me. Time and distance won’t change that. Nothing will. Not even if you don’t love me back.
The words did exactly what she feared. They doubled her regret. There was little she could do about it now. Theo was gone. He was doing what she knew he would do—taking his band to the top.
It wouldn’t be long until she was a memory. The fact that he hadn’t texted all week was proof that it was already happening. To think she had to see him at Ally and Jonah’s wedding made her second-guess her decision to be Ally’s maid of honor. Her luck, he’d show up to the wedding with a date.
And if he did, what was left of her heart would shatter.
***
The medicine bottle rattled as Cassie fumbled with the cap. Her stomach knotted from sharp pains radiating within. She needed to eat instead of drinking coffee this morning, but the one Ally ordered once they left the doctor’s office smelled too enticing to pass.
Why couldn’t she have some type of sinus infection? She’d much rather blow her nose and deal with congestion than feel weak and tired.
Once she pinched a pill between her fingers, she replaced the cap then set the bottle atop the coffee table. She didn’t have the energy to take it back to the kitchen. Feed a cold, starve the flu. That’s what everyone always said. No appetite meant no calories consumed and none to burn. At least she could sip water.
As she put the pill to her lips and grabbed her bottle of water, the doorbell chimed. Perhaps Ally had returned to check on her, or she’d forgotten something when she left earlier.
Pulling herself to her feet, she crept across the floor, noting the silhouette through the frosted glass on the door. Once she clasped the knob in her hand and drew the door open, she stared into the brightest blue eyes.
“Hey.”
She savored the sound of Theo’s voice before she found her own. “Hey…”
She couldn’t muster anything else. Instead, she moved aside and motioned him to enter. After he stepped through, she shut the door and made her way back to the living room. Her body grew weaker by the minute. She needed to sit before she collapsed.