by Petrova, Em
“Is he any good?”
Riley finally turned her attention to Scott, looking for any hint of what was going on. Scott’s expression was the same as always. Smiling, a little arrogant, unassuming.
“He’s the best,” she said. It didn’t matter what Zane thought of himself, his skills were top notch. “He’d probably hate me for telling you this”—If he doesn’t already—“but so many people already know, it’s not like it’s a big secret. Before he enlisted, he got really good at finding holes in company websites. He never did anything like on the scale of a chaos hacker, but he did manage to snag a couple of games before they were released. He’s only gotten better since.”
Scott’s expression flickered for a moment between surprised, pleased, and irritated before returning to normal. “Where’s he working now?”
She paused, not comfortable spilling that kind of information, and still having no idea why Scott cared. “He’s between contracts. Looking for a company that will challenge him and know how to utilize his skills. Things like that.”
“So he’s unemployed.”
Riley sighed. “Is this going somewhere?”
“You know one of the things I love about Kenzie?”
Riley was caught off guard by the rapid change in subject. Listening to her sister’s love-struck fiancé sing Kenzie’s praises wouldn’t help her mood. “She’s got a nice ass?”
“She’s not you.”
The three words hit Riley hard.
“I’m not done,” Scott said.
She nodded, not able to ignore the sting in her eyes.
“It’s what I adore about you too, baby sister. She’s a brilliant, organized mind, and you’re intelligent and creative, and anyone who thinks she should be more like you or you should be more like her is missing something significant.”
Her hurt vanished. She opened her mouth to thank him for the compliment, but he talked over her. “That includes you.”
“Hey. I’m back,” Kenzie said.
Scott was on his feet again in an instant. He wrapped an arm around Kenzie’s waist, dipped her, and swallowed her laugh with a deep kiss.
“What do you mean?” Riley asked, once her sister was upright again, trying to squelch the pang that wished she could have the easy fun and obvious affection they did.
Scott kissed her on the cheek. “Ask Zane. He knows.” With that, he was gone, vanished back into the living room or wherever he was hiding.
“What was that about?” Kenzie dropped back into her seat.
Riley shook her head. Scott was bizarrely cryptic sometimes, she suspected because he didn’t think the same way as most people, not as an attempt to be obtuse. Even if she couldn’t translate the conversation, it cemented for her the need to approach Zane at least one more time.
“Anyway…” Kenzie frowned when she saw a stack of name cards out of line, and squared them all up again before setting them back in their proper spot. “Whatever you decide about Zane, keep in mind that the rift is already there. It’s obvious. Repair it or lose him.”
Riley let the words roll around in her head. It sounded so simple. Repair it or lose him. If only it were that easy.
Chapter Sixteen
Zane was on his feet in an instant, at the knock on the door. He growled at his anticipation. He didn’t want it to be Riley, regardless of what the hollow pit behind his ribs insisted.
His heart sank against his will, when he saw who it was. He didn’t bother with a smile as he yanked the door open. He wasn’t in the mood for Sabrina. Her dark brown hair was pulled into a thick braid that draped her shoulder, drawing the eye to a low-cut T-shirt that toed the line between too tight and just right. Regardless of how much he didn’t want to see her, he still couldn’t defy propriety. He kept his attention on her face. “Can I help you?”
Sabrina lounged against the doorframe, a smirk dancing on full, too-red lips. She stepped closer, nudging him with her frame. “Invite me in?”
Fuck. He hadn’t seen this behavior since they were first assigned to work together. Back then, his dick controlled the conversations when she did this. Today, he wasn’t in the mood. He put more distance between them. “Do you want to sit?”
She ducked her head and looked up at him through heavy black lashes. “Only if you’re the seat.”
He didn’t try to hide his irritation. “There’s no need, really. I’m standing, so there’s plenty of room on the couch.”
She traced a finger along the edge of her T-shirt, pausing at her cleavage. “It looks lonely over there.”
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “What do you want?”
“You.”
“No, really.”
She crossed her arms, pushing her tits together and up. “So blondes are more your thing?”
His veins filled with ice. She knew about Riley. “Can’t say I have a preference.”
“You know what I do for a living, right?” Sabrina raised an eyebrow, studying him with disbelief.
Zane struggled to hold back his creeping dread. “She was a friend before I deployed. That’s all.”
“Really?” Her laugh chilled him further. “Okay. Let’s play this game. Please, Ms. Spy, leave her out of this. She doesn’t know. It doesn’t have anything to do with her.”
Zane clenched his jaw and his fists, and let a growl escape her chest. “So you’re here to… threaten the people I know? That won’t end well for you.”
“Oh, so cute. But that’s not your line. Now you say, I’ll do anything you want. Just leave them alone.”
He took a step toward her, and then another, twisted satisfaction growing inside when she moved back. “No.” He kept his voice low and even. “Now I tell you, if you’re here to threaten me—directly or otherwise—you won’t like the results. I can destroy you digitally, and you know it.”
“There’s the man I adore.” Her smile unnerved him more than the innuendo about Riley. “I’m not here to threaten anyone. Nothing bad is going to happen to your playmate. We don’t work like that.”
“You work exactly like that.”
She shrugged. “Busted. But not when it comes to her. She’s a blip. Doesn’t know anything. Doesn’t mean anything. Which is why I don’t understand your infatuation with her. What are you doing, Sergeant? Playing house? Pretending you’re normal? Convincing yourself this lifestyle is going to make you happy? I’m not threatening you, because we both know torture doesn’t work. Especially long term. This is motivation. You want this job. You were made for this type of work.”
He tried to hide his cringe at how close to home her words hit. “You need to leave.”
She stood her ground. “You come work with me again, and it’s not about clinging to some past that was never real—unlike the life you’re trying to live now. I don’t care that you were an okay lay. Though, God, some of the emails the two of you shared… Wow, she thinks you’re all that.”
He should have known his exchanges with Riley weren’t private. “This conversation is over.”
“Ditch the blonde, come work for us. The money is good. You’ll never stop growing. Right now, you’re just a hack who can’t keep up. And really, do you think she’s going to want you once she figures out who you are? We already know, and that’s why you’re so valuable to us.”
“Get out.” Zane couldn’t find more words in the midst of his anger.
“Sergeant Petrov.” Her voice was gentle. Coaxing. Condescending. “You’re going to regret this”—she finally reached for the doorknob—“but I won’t ask again.” She didn’t wait for a response but slipped out and tugged the door shut behind her.
Zane sank back against a nearby wall, shaking with anger and trying to ignore the thread of creeping sick about the exchange. Riley might not mean anything to the CIA, but she was his world.
He’d do absolutely anything for her, including making sure she ended up with a good guy. Someone who wasn’t him. He didn’t think he could ever atone for his sins, but if it wa
s possible, he’d start here.
*** *** *** ***
Riley could do this. She could talk to Zane, figure out what was going on, and convince him she was there for him. She repeated the reassurances, trying to make herself believe them. Relief and nausea flooded her when she saw Zane’s car. So he was home. Good. Perfect. Right?
She swallowed the sickness climbing inside her and headed toward the back stairs that lead to his apartment. Her step faltered when she saw an unfamiliar woman walking down. The brunette’s cheeks were flushed, and a smile stretched her face the moment she made eye contact with Riley.
The stranger came to a stop in front of her, her smile too big to be genuine. “You must be Riley. I’m Sabrina. I’ve heard so much about you.”
The Air Force girlfriend. The commanding officer who’d been by Zane’s side through this entire mess. Riley pushed back every single trace of revulsion, holding on to it for later. “Same. I can’t say any of it was good, though.” She didn’t care cattiness filled her retort.
“I hope I didn’t spoil him for you.” Sabrina’s grin spread. “I think they heard me screaming his name in pleasure in the shop. God, he gets so rough when he’s turned on. Yanking my hair. Forcing me down. That man is incredible when he lets himself off his leash.”
Riley’s convictions fled. A series of childish retorts rolled through her thoughts, but she couldn’t find any real, tangible response. Sabrina brushed past her with a smirk, and Riley turned, held up her hand, middle finger extended.
It didn’t matter if what Sabrina implied was true. Riley was here to resurrect her friendship with Zane. If sex was out of the equation, that was fine, but she wouldn’t share him. Not like that. She forced one foot in front of the other until she stood before his apartment. It took every last ounce of willpower, to raise her hand and knock.
Seconds later, the door was flung open, startling her. She stepped back at the fury on Zane’s face, doubt growing when his expression instantly melted into a tiny smile.
“Hey.” His voice was low. He stepped aside. “Come on in.”
Confusion throbbed in her temple, as she stepped around him. “It’s not a bad time?”
“No.” He closed the door behind her but hovered near it. “I’m surprised you’re here.”
Judging from his expression, whatever happened with Sabrina didn’t leave him as satisfied as it did her. Good to know. Riley faltered, not finding her next reply. Damn, this was awkward. “I told myself I’d do this one more time, now we’ve both had a few days to think. But I won’t be back every two days, begging for you to hear me out, if you’re not interested.” She loved him, though she didn’t know what kind of love it was. She wouldn’t be anyone’s emotional punching bag.
“I understand.” He reached for her, but dropped his hand at the last second.
The foot between them felt like a mile. Riley grabbed her left arm with her right hand. “I just met Sabrina.”
The fury was on his face again for the briefest moment before it vanished and he turned his attention to the ceiling. “How’d that go?”
Riley shrugged, not trusting herself to say much. “Openly hostile. What did you two get up to?”
“Same things as always.” He didn’t hide his irritation so well that time.
A whimper rose in her throat, and she choked it back. He didn’t want her asking about it. That was fine; she could do that. Not that it was appropriate for her to ask whom he was sleeping with. She nodded toward the futon. “Can we talk?”
“Sure.”
The moment she was inside, he kicked the door shut behind her. A strange uncertainty and something she’d never seen before hid behind his look. “I really wondered if I’d see you again.”
She clenched her jaw, unsure how to respond. His uncertainty added to hers, making it difficult to collect her thoughts.
“I…” He furrowed his brow and clenched his hands into fists. He took a deep breath, then another and another. His frame relaxed. He looked at her again, with a new clarity in his expression. Resting his hands on both sides of her face, he pressed his lips softly to hers.
The whimper she’d been trying to hold back escaped at the tender gesture. She closed her eyes and sank into the kiss, heart hammering against her ribcage. How had she ever doubted this was anything other than electric? She pressed closer, wanting to feel all of him.
He slid his hands down her arms, raising goose bumps everywhere he touched, and rested them on her hips. He traced a slow line along her jaw to her neck with his lips, and she tilted her head back, lost in the sensation.
He pushed the bottom of her T-shirt up and rested his palms on her bare waist. Was this his way of distracting her? Turning any chance at conversation into sex, so he had an excuse to kick her out again when it was over?
She wanted him so desperately, but not if she wasn’t the only one. Not this time. Not with him. She covered his hands with hers and pushed him away. “Not tonight.”
He stepped back, hurt mingling with that something she still hadn’t identified in his expression. “Of course not. I shouldn’t have assumed.”
She forced a smile. “It’s not that.” She fumbled for the right words. The best way to tell him why she was here. Nothing came to mind though. Frustration welled inside. What now?
Chapter Seventeen
Zane beat back his aggravation. Of course. He’d tried to cross that line one too many times with her, and she was getting tired of it. The realization pulsed through him, and he tried to grab any lingering emotion from inside, wrap it in a ball, and tuck it away in the bottom of his gut. “What is it, then?”
She perched on the edge of the futon he’d never folded back into a couch the night before. She was several feet away, ankles crossed and knees tucked to the side. “I was hoping we could just hang out.”
“Watch movies or something?”
She shrugged. “Or talk or something.”
Like they used to do back in high school. When they both pretended they didn’t have a crush on each other, and neither of them knew it. He didn’t miss those days. Except maybe the bits when she fell asleep in his bed. That was always nice. Though it had been innocent, he’d loved being able to curl around her like they were the only two people in the world.
He pushed the thought away. Childish fantasy. He dropped onto the opposite edge of the futon from her, the battered quilt wrinkling under him. “I can do that. How’s your sister?”
There. That was neutral, right? So why did she look like she swallowed a mouthful of bad milk?
“She’s good. Great. I think she’s the kind of person who was made to get married. I’m pretty certain this whole planning thing is just one orgasm after another for her.” She clamped her jaw shut. “I mean…You know what I mean.”
“I do.”
She fidgeted. “I’m going to try this one more time and hope I make myself clear. Whatever happened while you were gone, it doesn’t change what I think of you or how I feel about you. I know who you are, even if you can’t see it. I’m not going to run away because you made mistakes. I’ll leave—walk out of your life for good—if that’s what you want. But don’t you dare push me away because you think that’s what’s best for me. That’s my decision to make, not yours.”
The words struck a chord he didn’t want to acknowledge. He couldn’t have this conversation with her. Not now, maybe not ever. The high-school memory popped back into his thoughts, and he was about to ignore it when inspiration struck. That memory was exactly what he needed. “Do you want to sleep over?”
“Zane.”
He ignored the pleading in her voice. “Like we used to. Except this time we don’t pretend we fell asleep on accident. Stay over. We’ll be careless kids. We’ll have a sleepover, pop popcorn, and watch the stupidest movies ever. The ones we loved back then.”
A smile crept onto her face. Sadness tinged it, but it was a start. “Did you hear anything I said?”
“All of it.”
> “Are you going to respond?”
“Give me time.” He tried to hide his wince as soon as the words passed his lips. Had he let too much of himself show?
Something flickered in her eyes, but it was gone before he could interpret it. She bounced to her feet, false cheer flooding in. “All right. I’m in.”
This was what they needed. Teasing. Joking. Fun. It was what they were missing. Even if her actions did look forced and mechanical. That would pass.
She bent at the waist, to flip through a list of films on his hard drive. “What do we watch first?”
“Whatever you want.”
She double-clicked on Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. He shouldn’t have been surprised. They’d watched that movie to death when they were younger, each of them taking one of the lead characters’ lines. “You know, I kind of miss that old black-and-white TV of yours,” she said as the movie started rolling.
“I kind of don’t.” He much preferred the widescreen multi-media laptop he’d gotten as a welcome back gift. It didn’t have the horsepower he needed for some of his extracurricular activities, but since he had more or less outgrown hacking websites—and didn’t miss it nearly as much as Sabrina thought—he wasn’t too concerned about it.
She pushed him back on the futon as the movie started. “Get comfortable.”
He shifted his weight until his back was against the wall, legs out in front of him. His cock throbbed when she crawled over the blanket toward him. The sitting-in-his-lap thing was new, since he’d gotten back.
“I swear”—she pushed his legs apart, to sit between them—“if I feel something hard poking me in the butt…”
She would. There was absolutely no way around that. “You’ll know I’m a healthy man and you’re an incredibly sexy woman, sitting as close as is physically possible?”
She pulled his arms around her waist. “I was going to say I’d be flattered, but you win.”
He wanted to strip off her clothes and watch her squirm and moan in pleasure, instead of paying attention to the movie. But this was nice too. Actually, when he thought about it, this was amazing. Maybe it was a bad idea.