by Petrova, Em
“You never called.” Scott rested a hand on his arm.
Zane stepped away, brows raised. “You were expecting me to? It was just dinner.”
Scott laughed. “Nice. Very clever. I’ll try this a different way, since the business card didn’t clue you in. I know who you are.”
“I’m a friend of your wife’s.” He hated that was all he felt comfortable saying. For so long he’d almost felt like family, and now he was relegated to bride’s guest and nothing more.
“Keep telling yourself that’s all, but it won’t make it any truer.” Scott loosened his tie. “But I was talking about The Taurus.”
Jesus. Zane hadn’t used that name publicly in years. Not since his extra-curricular activities landed him on one-too-many government watch lists. It was his hacker pseudonym. Still, anyone who grew up with him knew it. He just hadn’t talked about it since he’d gone military. “That’s supposed to mean something to me?”
“You’re not what I expected.” Scott rocked on the balls of his feet, occasionally obstructing the view of Riley and Archer. “I mean, the abrasive attitude and arrogance makes sense, but I thought I’d get a lot more ego and bragging from the guy who used to practically paint forums with his name and antics.”
Had Riley really talked about him that much? The thought would have warmed him if he couldn’t see her in the background, relaxing. “That was a persona. Besides, I’ve grown up.”
“I hope not too much.” Scott snapped his fingers. “Am I boring you?”
Zane tried to keep an eye on Riley and participate in the conversation at the same time. “I’m fine. Didn’t you have a time limit?”
“Right. Seven years ago, you hacked our security and released a moderately intensive demo of our game to the public six weeks early.”
Oh yeah. That had been one of his favorites. Shit. Scott’s company name had been different back then, but Zane should have known it was familiar. “That was you? Um… oops?” That wasn’t really the most sincere apology he could have come up with. Did he care? Not unless Scott was going to press charges, and for as much as the guy seemed like an ass, Zane didn’t think that was too likely. “I was a kid. I didn’t know any better.”
“You were in your early twenties. Old enough to drink and vote. Not quite a kid.” Scott’s expression was laced with a smile still, no irritation present. “I don’t want an I’m sorry. It was some of the best publicity we ever had. It put us on the map.”
“You’re welcome?”
Scott shrugged and looked over his shoulder, following Zane’s continuously drifting line of sight. “She looks good, doesn’t she?”
Zane shook his head and tore his gaze away from Riley. Mostly. “I suppose.”
“Even if you hadn’t spent the entire time I was here, staring at her, I wouldn’t be arrogant enough to think I looked better than she does.” Scott glanced at his watch. “I have less than a minute, so I’ll make this fast. It was good publicity then. The Internet works differently now, and something like that could topple us. I need someone on board who can keep someone like you from doing it again. The job is yours if you want it.”
Zane was now ninety-nine percent focused on the conversation. “Wait. What?”
“You heard me.”
That had been one of the biggest hacks he’d ever done, not because of the attention it garnered, but because it had been a challenge. Regardless of how conceited this jackass was, Zane was being offered a chance to do it again, but better and for money. One thing held him back. “I don’t take pity jobs.”
Scott’s laugh drew a couple of stares from people nearby. “Pity? I must not have groveled enough. Or did you miss the genuine awe? I’m a hundred-percent serious.”
Zane stalled on his response, not sure what to say. The offer sounded real, but part of him couldn’t accept it. “Why would I work for you?”
“Probably not for the money, though I promise the paycheck is worth it, and you won’t mind the signing bonus. Maybe because you know it will be a challenge. Or, if that’s not enough, because it gives you a chance to put me in my place, by poking holes in my security.”
Take it, take it, take it. His stubborn streak won out. “Still not convinced.”
“I’ll be back in two weeks. You have until then to decide.”
“Right. I’ll be in touch,” Zane replied, faster than he meant to. He wanted this. He wasn’t going to bluff himself out of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. “You already know I’m going to say yes, don’t you?”
Scott’s grin widened. “Let’s just say I hoped. Two weeks, we’ll negotiate. Make sure you can at least buy my baby sister the ring she deserves.”
Zane’s temper rose again. “Not your decision, probably not my job, and realistically doesn’t look like it’s happening any time soon.”
“Right. Keep lying to yourself.”
“Why are you so focused on my relationship with Riley?” Zane raised his voice and winced, drawing his emotions back under a tight leash when a few more nearby heads turned. Fortunately, the party had thinned considerably, and the band was still loud enough that not a lot of people heard.
“She means the world to Kenzie. So in turn, she means the world to me.”
Zane gritted his teeth. “You don’t have any idea what that means.”
“Really? You’re going to tell me on my own wedding day that I don’t know what love is? I’m not getting into that pissing match.” Scott extended his hand. “I won’t mention her again. Call me in two weeks.”
Zane reluctantly shook his hand and nodded over Scott’s shoulder. “Thing is, it doesn’t matter how I feel if she doesn’t feel the same.”
Riley was pushing out a side door with Archer, the two standing close, heads bowed together.
Scott’s smirk faded for the first time that night. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too. Enjoy Cancun.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Zane lay in bed, staring at the ceiling as the morning light crested the mountains. It was still dark outside, but the first glow of early morning creeped across the valley. He rubbed his dry eyes and blinked, trying to find some moisture somewhere. He rolled his head to the side, and the red numbers on his clock glared back at him. Almost seven. Apparently he wasn’t going to sleep any time soon.
He kicked out of bed and pulled on whatever was nearby. A pale-gray business card winked back at him from its isolated spot on the edge of the coffee table. At least something good had come out of the night before, even though he couldn’t find an ounce of enthusiasm for it.
He still didn’t know what to do about Riley. The sleepless night, combined with watching her buddy up to Archer, had destroyed his resolve to keep her at arm’s length. Granddad’s voice whispered in the back of his mind, asking if he was taking Riley’s decision from her again, like he had with her sketches. If remaining silent about the fact that he loved her was wrong.
He grabbed his wallet and keys and headed out to his truck. He needed to make sense of the jumble of information bouncing in his skull. One thought rang true, though. He couldn’t ignore her any longer. He wanted her in his life, as more than a friend. She might no longer feel the same, after his childish efforts to scare her away, but it had to be her choice.
He typed out a brief text message.
I’m sorry. Give me a chance to apologize in person.
His gut sank when he looked up and realized Archer’s car wasn’t on the street. Or in the parking lot. Or anywhere in sight. Had he really not come home the night before?
Zane bit back his doubt and hit Send. He climbed in his truck and pulled into traffic. Habit almost made him turn toward the coffee shop where he and Riley always met, but he didn’t think he could face it that morning. He wasn’t sure which put him more on edge—that she might be there or that he might never see her there again. Instead of having to face either, he turned in the other direction, toward the other side of town.
Twenty minutes later, he found a sea
t in the back of a coffee shop filled with eclectic décor. The place had been designed to look random and hip, but every single piece of art, catchy phrase, and polka dot on the walls and furniture was strategically placed. He cringed at the cold feeling of the place, watching people come and go. No one stuck around for longer than it took to get their drinks. This wasn’t the kind of place where people hung out. They were only there for the label on the cup.
He sighed and sank back into the stiff vinyl bench. In a couple of weeks, he’d be able to stomach the other spot again, but for now, he’d have to remember how to work the coffeemaker at home.
He pulled Scott’s business card from his back pocket and turned it over in his fingers, trying to find the enthusiasm to be happy about the entire thing. Chance of a lifetime, and Zane couldn’t even muster a fake woo-hoo.
He looked up when the front door chimed, and he had to do a double take.
Riley paused a few feet away, eyes wide and gaze locked on him.
His pulse skidded and stuttered, and his heart hammered. He forced himself to smile. To pretend she hadn’t ignored his text. To overlook that she still wore her bridesmaid dress. That her hair had torn itself from the high bun she’d had it in, six hours before, and it fell in messy locks around her shoulders. That her makeup was smeared, her cheeks were flushed, and her lips swollen.
“Hey.” Her voice was so soft it vanished in the hip background music. “What’s that?” She nodded at his hand.
Not how he intended to start this conversation, but he’d take any opener. He held the business card up between his index and middle finger. “Your brother-in-law’s business card. He offered me a job.”
The corner of her mouth twitched, but he couldn’t tell if it wanted to pull up or down. “Congratulations.” Her voice was flat.
He tried to keep his tone light. “If this is what nepotism gets me, what happens when he finds out how severely I fucked up?” He winced as the words passed his lips. He hadn’t meant to sound so bitter.
Her shoulders slumped. “He doesn’t work like that. If he offered you the job, it has nothing to do with me. It’s because he wants you working for him.”
He reached deep inside and pulled out a smile. “I’m sorry—”
She cut him off. “I got your message. Couldn’t answer. I’ll just tell you in person. We lost that chance.”
He furrowed his brow and studied her face, looking for some sign of forgiveness or hatred—or anything. All he saw was his confusion reflected back at him. “Then…”
She shook her head. “I have to get home.”
“Wait.” This conversation couldn’t end like this. He finally understood what Granddad’s point was. What it meant. How it applied to him. Even if Riley didn’t forgive him, he owed her an apology. “About what I said…”
She locked a sad gaze on him but didn’t interrupt.
“I shouldn’t have done or said any of it. Except tell you the truth about what happened while I was gone. You deserve to know, or our friendship isn’t as strong as I want to think it is. I’ve been unfair to you for too long.” Now that the words tumbled out, he needed to keep going. “I’m used to people having a hidden agenda, to them not saying what they mean—and that’s my problem, not yours—but I know you don’t work that way. I know I can trust you.
“I’m so sorry I betrayed you, and I don’t expect you to say it’s all cool and just forget about it. And I know some of it you might not ever be able to overlook. And I love you, Riley. I always have, and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, but you deserve to know.”
She ran her thumb over each of her fingernails, not quite looking at him. Her expression wavered, and she chewed on the inside of her cheek. “Thank you.”
Not even close to what he expected. “Of course.”
She hesitated for a moment, before kissing him on the cheek—quick and chaste, the way she had so many times over the years. Then she turned and walked out, never making it to the counter for her own drink.
His entire frame tensed at the lack of resolution, until his head throbbed and his neck ached. Had he been forgiven? Did it matter? Were she and Archer back together? Again? For the five billionth time?
They must have spent the night together. Why else would she still be dressed like that? That would explain why she had such a neutral response to his gut-wrenching revelation. He’d known she might not feel the same, but her brush-off dug deep, aching in his chest and throbbing in his skull.
He tossed his mostly full cup in the trash and walked out the door. On top of everything else, he needed to figure out if he really could be happy for Riley, regardless of who she ended up with.
He sank in his truck and leaned back into the headrest. He didn’t know if he was capable of working that hard, to atone for his sins.
*** *** *** ***
Riley forced her eyes open and blinked several times to loosen the mascara caked with dried tears holding her lids shut. Falling asleep in her wedding makeup had been a bad idea. Falling asleep crying had been a bad idea. She should have said something different to Zane this morning. The last twenty-four hours of her life seemed a clusterfuck of things she should have done differently.
She shook her head and sat up.
He loved her. Three words that never meant anything until they came from him. A confession that drilled into her heart and filled her soul… And she’d frozen and brushed him off, stalled on her own insecurities.
The sun was sinking behind the mountains outside. Had she really slept through the day? Before her head had hit the pillow, she’d thought she might never be able to sleep again.
She climbed from her bed and shuffled into the shower, dropping clothes as she went. The spray of icy water hit her face, waking her up. She closed her eyes and leaned into the stream, letting it wash away too many layers of everything as it warmed up.
The longer she thought about it, and after the time she’d spent with Archer over the last few days, she knew she couldn’t be angry with Zane. It hurt too much to hold the grudge, and even worse, to not have him in her life. What he did was so very wrong. Not while he was deployed—though she still struggled with those decisions, and it would take time for both of them to deal with. But what he’d said about her not knowing herself, and his going behind her back… She needed to believe he meant it, when he said he would never do it again. At the same time, it lit a fire under her butt and forced her to admit things she might not have otherwise.
She scrubbed off everything she could, until her skin was pink and raw, and then shut off the water and dried herself. She didn’t drag her feet quite so much on the carpet. The more she woke up, the more glimpses of the night before—or had it been early morning?—drifted back to her. The things she’d decided, the resolutions she’d made, the promises that had stuck in her head and evaporated in exhaustion and surprise when she talked to Zane.
She grabbed some of the most comfortable clothes she could find, including a T-shirt she’d stolen from Zane in high school and never given back, got dressed, and then sat down to work.
She didn’t know if she had the courage to do what she was about to, but if she didn’t, it would ache inside forever. Knowing she had to take this next step was the big reason she wasn’t still mad at Zane. Sure, he’d gone behind her back, and he’d lied to her. That would have to change, but he’d never done it before, so she believed him when he said he was sorry.
Besides, it had given her the strength to make this decision and had finally pushed her in the right direction. She opened her sketchbook, booted up her computer and large-format scanner, and began taking high-resolution digital shots of the graphic novel she’d spent the last few years over-polishing.
As the computer hummed and the scanner whirred, her attention fell on her phone. It still sat on her desk, taunting her. Zane’s message was on there.
She breathed deep and dialed his number.
“Riley?” Hope and hesitation poured from his greeting.
<
br /> She smiled with relief. “Hey. What are you up to?”
“You know.” His casual tone sounded forced. “Nothing, really. I’m not in the mood to game, and there’s nothing good on TV, and—”
“Come over?” She cut him off before his ramble could get awkward. “I mean… that is… do you want to hang out?”
“God, yes.”
Her smile grew. “We need to talk. I mean it may not be all fun and games. It may get serious for a little bit.” Why was she over-explaining herself in the vaguest terms possible?
“I don’t care. Don’t take that wrong, I care what you have to say, and whatever it is, I’m listening. What’s up?”
She couldn’t do this over the phone. She needed to see his face, to get it right. “Come over, and I’ll tell you.”
“Hmm… a bribe. Or blackmail. I’ll be there soon.”
She let out a small laugh as she disconnected and set the phone aside. The gnawing uncertainty was still there, lingering in the back of her thoughts, but she already felt better. Now she had to focus on her scanning and keep her thoughts from running too rampant, while she waited for him to show up.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Zane hesitated outside Riley’s door, trying to bring down his racing pulse. She’d called him. She sounded happy to talk to him, but she wanted a serious conversation. That was either great news or not. She didn’t mention his confession that morning, and he didn’t know how to interpret that. He raised his hand to knock, and the door flew open before his knuckles pulled away from the first rap.
Riley’s cheeks were pink. He was pretty sure that had been his shirt at one point, but his had been black, and hers was kind of a dark gray, so maybe not. Either way— “You look gorgeous.”
“Thanks.” She let him in and shut the door behind him, hovering a few feet back. “That was fast.”
He shrugged. Not fast enough. He’d never noticed how many lights and signs were between her place and his before.
“You look good too.” She stepped around him, keeping her distance, and nodded toward her bedroom. “I need to show you something.”