by Petrova, Em
She nodded. “Are you staying at the house?”
He shook his head. “No, it’s a mess. I’m renting one of the holiday cottages. Primrose?”
Maddie knew the sweet fisherman’s cottage. It was owned by Mr Blake who had moved out of the town a few years ago to live with his daughter in Torbay. It was hard to picture Sawyer living in a twee cottage—even if only for a few weeks.
Silence filled the air. The dusty atmosphere of her shop grew thicker. She cleared her throat. She had hoped she wouldn’t see him until the funeral, then she would be primped and totally ready for him. She would have offered a few consoling words to the man who had broken her young heart and that would have been it. The end.
But no. Sawyer had never done things the easy way, and apparently their reunion wasn’t going to be easy either.
“I’m sorry about your dad.”
“Thanks.” He lifted a shoulder and she wondered if that was genuine nonchalance or feigned.
Sawyer had never been close to his dad. The man had been a drinker and didn’t understand his teenage son one bit. Maddie had seen how much that had affected him and it had always broken her heart that the two men never got along. She’d always had this idea of somehow helping them see eye to eye but of course those ideas seemed pretty stupid after Sawyer left her at the altar.
He shifted on his feet and folded his arms. He seemed to be working up to something. Maddie dropped the books on top of the stool next to her and faced him. It was probably better to get whatever humiliation it was out of the way.
He opened his mouth, closed it again and rammed a hand through his hair. “About...about that day.”
“That day?”
“Our—” he glanced at his feet “—wedding day.”
Fresh humiliation rushed through her. She recalled sitting at home, waiting for news of his arrival at the church. No sign of him, the best man had said. Couldn’t even get him on his mobile. He never did answer any of her calls or texts.
She turned her head away before he could spot any tears in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter...”
“I was a jerk.”
Maddie whipped her head around and stared at him for a moment. She’d called him worse in her mind. Now was her chance to shout and rage at him, to unleash the anger she’d been holding onto for all these years. Except angry outbursts weren’t really her.
“You were,” she agreed quietly.
“I never should have...”
“Left me? Disappeared without a trace?”
Broken her heart?
“I thought it was for the best.”
“Really?” She folded her arms. Maybe she could do an angry outburst after all. Yes, she liked the idea of that. Maybe she’d even slap him and fling him dramatically out of the shop.
His mouth pulled into a firm line. Unfortunately it didn’t make her think any less about what it might be like to kiss those lips and feel his stubble graze her skin.
“I was accused of vandalising the war memorial.”
“Yes, I heard.”
“I didn’t do it.”
“I know that. It was one of the younger kids. He admitted to it only days later.”
“But the thing is...they thought it was me.” Sawyer scuffed a hand over his jaw. “Don’t you get it, Maddie?”
She shook her head. No, she didn’t. Why had the love of her life left her on her wedding day because of some stupid accusation? Why had he practically vanished? What had he been doing all these years? She shouldn’t ask. She didn’t even want to know. Sawyer Steele wasn’t part of her life and he would be gone again before long, doing whatever former bad boys did. She tilted her head as she viewed him. What did he do? She had no idea and nor did anyone else.
Before she did something silly like let her chin wobble, she snatched up the books and turned her attention back to the author names on the spines.
Abernathy.
Great. Now she’d have to stand on the stool and pray she didn’t fall off and make a fool of herself. She had been known to lose her balance once or twice...Still, it was better than Sawyer seeing her upset.
“Maddie, I’m trying to explain—”
Ignoring him, she stepped up and reached for the top shelf to slide Ms Abernathy’s steamy historical novel into place. The next one was an E and as she skimmed down the selection she realised she could spend quite some time on this stool. Hopefully he might give up and go away if she ignored him for long enough.
“Maddie,” he tried.
“Ava Eversley, To Tempt a Royal Rebel,” she murmured to herself. “You belong here...” She slipped the book in with the other E authors. She glanced at the next cover and groaned inwardly. She wasn’t going to say that aloud. A.L. Chastity. That was a penname if ever she saw one. The Billionaire’s Buxom Bride. Oh boy. She couldn’t see the residents of Ballicliff Bay snapping that one up but maybe a tourist might want it for some hot holiday reading.
“Maddie,” he tried again.
This time she could tell he was gritting his teeth. She began humming to herself. Damn the man for coming in and messing up her pretty nice life.
“Maddie,” he snapped and a hand tapped her hip.
She wobbled and several paperbacks fell from her hand. She wobbled again as she tried to regain her balance but the stupid stool had uneven legs and it set itself on a wobbling frenzy—one she wouldn’t recover from. The books fell from her grip and flew to the right as she went the other way. Pages fluttered about in slow motion and for the briefest, abstract moment, she regretted the damage she’d done to the poor pages.
The floor didn’t rush up to meet her. She didn’t land on the hard, worn carpet. Instead, a set of firm arms wrapped about her and caught her. Her breasts crushed into his face and one foot remained half-lodged on the stool at an awkward angle. Sawyer drew her away from the stool and slid her down.
All the way down his body.
Every nerve-ending in her body sparked. She was tempted to pat her hair and see if it was all sticking up from static electricity. Maddie attempted to draw in a breath but only managed to make some weird gargling sound.
“Maddie,” he said softly.
Damn him.
Sawyer kept hold of her arms. His touch imprinted on her body, in her mind. It had always been like that when they were kids, but she had later put that down to hormones. She wasn’t sure hormones could be to blame here.
She felt herself softening to him. He’d always managed to do that to her. He’d do something reckless and stupid but he’d give her this puppy-dog look and say her name and she’d forgive him in no time.
“What, Sawyer?” she said, resigned.
“I’m trying to apologise.”
Maddie drew away from him and wrapped her arms about her waist. She probably looked defensive but she didn’t much care. “Fine, great. Apology accepted.”
A brow rose. It said, I don’t believe you. He’d be right. She’d tried not to nurture the hurt from him abandoning her. She’d attempted to move on but a tiny splinter of hurt remained lodged in her chest. In spite of herself, she’d always wanted to know why.
“Look, I don’t really understand why you did what you did, but whatever. Can we just forget about it? I’m sure you didn’t come here with the intention of having to apologise to me. You’ve got bigger things to deal with, like...”
She didn’t want to say, “Like the fact your dad is dead,” so she let it trail off.
“Actually coming to apologise was my main reason for returning.”
“Oh.”
“There’s one more thing...”
The way his gaze connected with hers made her feel like she had shrunk. She was suddenly a tiny, helpless female and in front of her was this shining example of testosterone at work. She gulped and tried to ignore how she kind of liked feeling all feminine and vulnerable.
Vulnerable was not good. Not with Sawyer around.
“What is it?” Good God, what had happened to her voice? She sounded like she
’d swallowed rusty nails.
“I came back for you, Maddie.”
She blinked several times. Those words...God, she would have killed to hear them in the year or so after their broken engagement but now...Okay, so she couldn’t help the warm tingly sensation running through her but the logical part of her clamped down on it.
No, no, no, this wasn’t what she wanted. Was he serious? Was she delirious? Too much time inhaling book dust or something? She thrust a hand through her hair and shook her head.
“What?”
“I came back for you. I made a mistake. A huge mistake, okay? I’ve always regretted it.”
“Sooo you waited until your father died to come and fix it?”
He grimaced. “I was a jerk but I needed time to realise that. I’m sorry I hurt you. You can’t understand how sorry I am. There were plenty of times I wanted to come back and explain and try to apologise but I didn’t know how. I was scared I’d mess it up.”
“Well, I would say you’re doing a great job now. What makes you think you can stroll back into my life and say—” she waved a hand, unable to repeat his words for fear they’d sound just as crazy and all too appealing still, “—stuff like that.”
“I get it. I know I’ve got work to do.”
For some reason his cocky stance aggravated her. She stepped forward. “Work to do?” She prodded his chest with a finger and he scowled and rubbed the spot. “You left me on our wedding day, Sawyer. You ran away and I never heard from you again. I only knew you were alive because your aunt called me.”
“I know,” he said softly. “I messed up big time. I was going through a lot of stuff...”
“So why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want you involved.”
He folded his arms, creating the impression of being a great wall of a man. Which he pretty much was. Muscle moulded his shirt and his biceps were larger than ever when he stood like that. She feared for the integrity of his top.
She also feared for her sanity. The little curl of ink on his right arm sneaking out from the fabric begged her to touch it then to trace it to wherever it went. Maybe it finished on his shoulder or perhaps it went onto his chest. Oh God, to touch that chest...
“I didn’t want to upset you with my issues,” he continued. “It was dumb, yes, but I was trying to do the best by you. I thought leaving you was the best thing I could do. You had a great future ahead and I would only have ruined it for you.”
He gave her a sort of wounded puppy-dog look and her anger deflated.
Now she wished she’d kept Ms Chastity’s book to use as a fan.
She let her shoulders drop. He gave her a rueful look and stuffed his hands in his jeans’ pockets. She tried not to drop her gaze and notice the way his thumbs pointed directly to—
“I wasn’t good enough for you, Maddie, but I’m hoping I might be now.”
Oh God. This wasn’t how her day was meant to go. She was going to potter around the quiet shop, stack a few books and take the time to consider what she was going to do with these lottery winnings once they hit the bank. She glanced at the clock on the wall behind the counter. And she had a meeting with her financial advisor later. Didn’t she have enough to worry about without the love of her life storming back in and saying things like that? Things that might as well have come out of a romantic novel.
Maddie needed to regain control. She needed to engage her brain and forget all the fluttering sensations and stupid teenage reactions he created in her.
“I’m grateful for the apology and the explanation,” she said coolly.
Yes, this was good. She sounded in control, right?
“But you want me to go?”
He always had been good at reading her. “Yes, please.”
“I’ll leave, but promise me one thing.”
“Sawyer, I’m not making promises.”
His jaw flexed. In fact all of him flexed. If it wasn’t for the fact Sawyer had been her fiercest defender when they were kids, she’d be quite intimidated by him. Most of the townsfolk were. Her parents had hated him. He’d always been large for his age and always in trouble. Even now, he seemed to scream I’m going to take you to all the deepest, darkest places and you’re going to love every moment. But then his expression relaxed a little, taking her by surprise. As a kid, he’d been so quick to jump to annoyance.
“Promise me you’ll think about it. Promise me you’ll think about us.”
A hard lump blocked her throat. Had he shifted closer? Where normally there were books on every wall of her small shop, all she could see was muscular shoulders. His cologne invaded her senses and the curl of ink on his arm drew her attention again. No matter how hard she tried to swallow, the lump refused to budge.
“What do you have to lose?” he asked quietly, his voice low and promising.
What did she have to lose? Her heart throbbed and reminded her exactly what.
“What...”
Now practically standing on her toes, he forced her to look up at him with the lightest tap to her nose.
“Do...”
Oh God, he was so close she could smell his minty breath. Oh no, did hers smell of coffee? No, she’d chewed gum earlier. Thank God.
“You.”
Sawyer dipped his head and a whisper of breath tickled her eyelashes and cheeks. She couldn’t help it. She closed her eyes.
“Have to lose?” he repeated softly.
Maddie remained rigid. Behind her eyelids, she imagined the dark hair on his jaw and those firm lips. They had to be so, so close to hers.
She waited and waited. Finally, she opened her eyes to find him staring at her intently. Now she saw the flecks of brown in his green eyes and the way each iris was ringed with a darker green. His lashes were unfairly long and dark. Damn him. The knot in her throat grew. Why couldn’t she look away? How long had she even been standing there?
Something had happened in those eyes. Something she didn’t expect. They had become serious instead of teasing. Had she ever seen Sawyer serious?
His lips hovered over hers. “Give me a chance,” he told her. Then his lips brushed her forehead and he turned and left.
The bell on the door jingled. The touch of his lips still burned her head. She felt like a popped balloon at the same time as feeling as though she’d been drinking espressos all morning. He hadn’t kissed her.
He hadn’t kissed her. But he had touched his lips to her skin.
And that one movement had been the most erotic thing to ever happen to her. None of her ex-boyfriends had made her feel tingly all the way deep down inside by merely brushing their lips over her skin. God, the forehead wasn’t even an erogenous zone, was it?
Well, apparently it was for her. Who knew?
She stared at the green-painted door and its frosted glass. Outside, the tourists were gathering and soon the sweet cobbled street would be crammed full of crowds. And they would all walk by her shop, thinking how twee it was but not bothering to do anything other than peer into the window.
And no one would know that inside the shop stood a woman who had just experienced the sexiest moment ever.
Give him a chance. She touched her forehead. No. How could she? He’d broken her heart twelve years ago and she didn’t doubt he’d do it again, just as easily.
Chapter Two
Dust motes swirled in the light pouring through the windows of Sawyer’s childhood home. He recalled lying on his bed and staring into the shimmering rays as he waited for his father to sober up. His bedroom lay empty now. Gone were the posters of hot girls and cars and the odd rock band LP he’d left on the shelves. The only sign this had ever been a boy’s room was the half-finished space mural his mother had been painting before she’d been killed by a drunk-driver when he was six.
A short spasm wrenched his heart and he tamped down on it. He smirked to himself. Ironic that a drunk had turned his life upside down, and then driven his father to drink.
“As you can see,
Mr Steele, the place needs a lot of work.”
He nodded absently and ignored the look of disapproval on the estate agent’s face. Mrs Fletcher had been selling houses in the area since his teens and knew well of his reputation and desertion.
As did everyone in the damned town. Even now, twelve years later, no one had forgotten what he’d been accused of—what had driven him away to stay with his aunt. And everyone wanted to stand up for sweet Maddie Green. He suspected the people of Ballicliff would be harder to win over than Maddie.
Or perhaps not. But he’d known it wouldn’t be easy. He’d fought for over a decade to become his own person and create a good life for himself. That hadn’t been easy either but it had been worth it. Now he could actually offer her the kind of life she deserved.
He wasn’t sure he could win Mrs Fletcher over, even though she stood to make a tidy profit if he could sell his father’s house. If. The place was a wreck. Dirty, filled with junk and in need of repair. Really he needed to gut the place and start again.
He blew out a breath and eyed the scuffed carpet beneath him. He’d be willing to bet he’d have to sink a ton of time and money into this place and though he had money, he didn’t have time. The sooner he left Ballicliff, the better.
With Maddie in tow hopefully.
Sawyer did a mental face palm at how badly he’d messed up his apology. What had he been thinking? His smirk to himself deepened. He hadn’t. He’d been so entranced by the way her worn jeans pulled at her ass and how her big hazel eyes sucked him in. For years he’d been planning how he’d apologise for one of the worst things a guy could do to a girl and as soon as he’d stepped foot in the shop and seen the curvy figure and cute face, he’d been done for.
“Shall we look at the garden?”
He blinked at the woman and nodded. “Sure, this way.”
The red-headed woman followed him, her heels clacking on the floorboards of the hall and the stairs. He couldn’t believe his father had let the place get in such a state. He’d never been great at staying on top of stuff but the six-bedroom house had been in the family for generations. It was something his father had taken great pride in.