by Petrova, Em
Maddie eased herself down onto the sofa and relaxed against the cushions. Her head felt a little clearer and she suspected it was because of him forcing her to eat. Who’d have thought Sawyer could be so attentive? He’d always looked after her in one way or another, but in a boisterous, boyish way—making sure she didn’t get hurt or that no one said anything mean to her. He’d acted her protector for most of her childhood. He’d never taken care of her like that though.
Her body still remembered being pressed against him and she tingled from head to toe. For a man so big and kind of rough-looking, he sure knew how to be tender.
Glancing at the clock, she forced herself up from the sofa and traipsed into the kitchen area to make a coffee. Nikki had offered to open up the shop but Saturday was their busiest day and after several days off, she needed to catch up on paperwork and make sure everything was running smoothly.
The bitter heat off the coffee worked through her stuffy head and once the painkillers kicked in, she felt almost human. Maddie took the time to put on a little concealer and mascara to cover up the worst of the damage the cold had done. She grinned at her reflection. It was silly to think so, but she couldn’t help wondering if Sawyer’s attentions had made her feel better.
Though the skies were blue and fairly cloudless, Maddie threw on a thick jumper. Trust her to get sick in the middle of summer. A distinct chill still wracked her. Of course, if she was pressed against Sawyer’s side again she’d be more than warm enough. She sighed at her reflection. How was she meant to make a sensible decision when her brain turned to mush every time she was around him?
By the time she’d stepped outside and was fumbling with the keys to open the front door of the shop, Nikki had arrived. Maddie had to glance at her twice. Her usual purple hair was gone and replaced with a bright blonde colour. She couldn’t remember ever seeing Nikki with an almost normal hair colour.
Nikki grinned. “Like it? I’m going for hot but respectable.”
Maddie wasn’t sure the almost platinum colour passed for respectable but it was certainly hot. “Let’s hope we’re busy today because I guarantee you’ll sell a ton of books looking like that.”
“Are you sure you’re up to working today?” she asked as Maddie opened the door and they stepped in.
“I can’t spend another day sitting around. I’ll go mad.”
Nikki dumped her bag behind the counter and powered up the computer while Maddie flicked on the lights and shifted the books ready to be put out in front of the shop.
“I heard you had a visitor last night.”
Maddie peered incredulously at her friend. “Seriously? Where did you hear that?”
“Mrs White said Raj saw him when he answered your door.” Nikki lifted a brow. “Did he stay the night? You do look like you might have got some.”
That was probably because her cheeks were beetroot red. Now the entire town was gossiping about her? She should have known talk would follow Sawyer. She’d caught a few whispers since his return. Unfortunately many of the locals still didn’t like him. She wished she understood why. It was not like he’d really vandalised the war memorial. Even his bad boy antics had been harmless. Dumb sometimes, but definitely harmless.
“No, he didn’t stay the night.”
“You should have jumped him. He’s hot.”
“When did you meet him?”
Nikki propped her elbows on the counter. “Saw him running the other day. Hot, hot, hot.” She fanned herself.
Maddie slipped an errant paperback onto the right shelf and put her hands on her hips. “Do I look like the sort to jump someone?”
Her friend glanced her over. “No, but then it’s hard to imagine you dating a guy like that in the first place. It’s hard to believe he was nearly your husband. And I can’t believe you’re being nice to him.”
“Even if he’s hot?”
She laughed. “Yeah. It’s not like you to be easily bowled over by a guy.”
She had her there. It was a very un-Maddie like thing to do. She thrived on common-sense and logic, thinking everything through first. Even as a teenager, she’d been like that. But once her friendship with Sawyer had moved into a relationship, she’d let go of that side a little.
And what a mistake it had been. She should have kept him at a distance and avoided a broken heart.
So why wasn’t she doing that now? And did he really want her that badly? A guy like him could have anyone in the world.
“Nikki, am I hot?”
Nikki’s lips compressed to hide a smile.
“It’s okay, I know I’m not.”
“You are hot, Maddie. In a kind of unobvious way. Like a sexy librarian.”
She lifted one brow. In other words, she wasn’t.
“If you weren’t, Sawyer wouldn’t be hanging around.” Nikki slumped into the chair behind the counter. “Besides, your kind of hot is better than my kind of hot. All I attract is jerks.”
“Sawyer was a jerk. He left me at the altar.”
“He was,” Nikki confirmed. “The biggest kind of jerk. But maybe he’s changed.” She lifted a shoulder and peered at her. “He is interested in you, right?”
Maddie hadn’t really had the chance to tell Nikki much about Sawyer. Nikki was one of the few people who hadn’t lived in Ballicliff her whole life so didn’t witness the wedding that never was. But she knew well enough that he had broken her heart. So why was her friend defending him?
“He says he’s interested, yes,” she said tightly.
“You should give him a chance.”
“Really?”
“Hell yeah. Even if you just sleep with him and get him out of your system, it would be great for you.”
It was easy for Nikki to say that. Her friend went through men as quickly as Maddie went through chocolate. She didn’t think Nikki had ever had her heart broken or her world turned upside down by a man.
“Besides, you’re not getting any younger,” Nikki said with a teasing grin.
Maddie flung a paper bookmark she’d discovered in one of the books her way. “You’re only two years younger than me.”
“Well, you are nearly a millionaire now. I’m pretty sure that makes you a catch even if you are ancient.” Nikki stuck out her tongue.
“Hardly. That money isn’t even enough to enable me to retire to somewhere hot and find myself a sexy toy boy.”
Her friend sighed and rested her chin on a hand. “Tell me about it. I never thought I’d complain about winning hundreds of thousands of pounds but by the time you’ve bought a house, there’s hardly any left.”
“Is that what you’re going to do with your share then?”
Nikki shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m going to take a holiday soon, if you don’t mind. Maybe somewhere warm and sunny will help me decide.”
Maddie debated her friend. She didn’t want to seem like the usual boring, sensible Maddie but she wished Nikki would talk to someone to get some advice. As much as she loved her, Nikki’s spontaneous side often got her in trouble. She could see her wasting this money and a part-time job in a bookshop that barely made a profit wouldn’t support her forever. She had been living off some money from a divorce settlement. Though that was all Maddie knew. Nikki never talked about her ex-husband.
“What are the others doing with it, do you know?”
She shook her head. Maddie hadn’t spoken to her four other friends for over a week now. With the exception of Nikki, they’d grown up together and often met in the pub on weekends, so one drunken night they’d decided to go in on buying a bunch of group lottery tickets together on a regular basis. They’d never really expected to win, though. Since Sawyer had breezed into town, she hadn’t had the chance to catch up with them.
“I guess I’ll invest some. My financial advisor suggested a few investments that would be good. And I’ll pay off the mortgage on this place.”
Nikki made a show of yawning. “Maybe I’ll buy myself some new boobs.”
Maddie glanced at
the boobs in question. “You do not need new boobs!”
She straightened and thrust out her chest, inspecting what Maddie considered great breasts. “Are you sure? Don’t you think they could do with being a little bigger?”
“No way.” Maddie tried not to roll her eyes at her friend. How was it she always ended up hanging out with people who were the complete opposite to her? Did she just attract them or something? She adored Nikki but she made her feel so staid and dull.
Sawyer didn’t though. Around him she felt sexy and exciting.
Maddie flipped the sign on the door to open. The first few customers were already waiting, forcing her straight into work. Saturdays were always their busiest day and was what kept her business on the straight and narrow. Hopefully a few book dealers would stop by on the look-out for their next great buy. She had a few first editions she’d been keeping aside for some of the regulars.
By lunchtime, a tiny throb of a headache had begun to inch into her head. She paused to take some painkillers with a bottle of water and caught Nikki watching her.
“Why don’t you go back to bed? The busiest time is over. Most of the tourists will be on the beach now.”
Maddie shook her head. “No, I’m hoping Frank will come in to look at the D.H. Lawrence first edition I’ve got. I emailed him about it last week.”
“Well, at least go and get a coffee and something to eat. If he arrives while you’re gone, I’m sure he can wait.”
The thought of frothy coffee and a nice shot of caffeine weakened her resolve to put in a full day’s work. She tidied up the stack of books she’d been rearranging and nodded. “Good idea. Do you want anything?”
“No, I’m being good today. Brought a salad with me and everything.”
Maddie couldn’t keep up with Nikki’s diets and wouldn’t tell her that she didn’t need to be good. People said the same to her whenever she tried—and usually failed—to diet. No one saw the love handles or her bumpy bits when they told her she didn’t need to diet.
Snatching up her handbag, she twisted the door handle and had to step back as someone pushed open the door. A huge bouquet of flowers greeted her. She tumbled back a little as a pink rose breezed past her face. Her heart sank when Frank appeared from behind the over-the-top bouquet. Was it silly for her to be disappointed?
Yes, it was. She couldn’t expect Sawyer to want to be around her every moment of the day, though she had secretly hoped he might come and check on how she was.
“Sorry.” The red-haired man blushed a colour that nearly matched his hair. Frank was one of her better customers and a huge book-lover.
He coughed and handed her the flowers and she tried not to scowl at them. “Are these for me?”
“Of course. I wasn’t sure what your favourite flower was so the florist went for a bit of everything.”
She glanced over the flowers and noted that there was quite a gathering. Nikki came to her rescue before she had to make some insightful remark about them or pick her favourite one. Once Nikki had taken them from her, murmuring something about putting them in water, she offered Frank a shy smile.
“You really didn’t need to.”
“I wanted to.” He smiled warmly. “You’re always so good at finding the books I want. Do you have that first edition you called me about?”
“Of course.” Maddie led him over to the counter and fished out the book to show it to him. While he leafed through the pages and inspected the first copyright page, she studied him. Frank had been visiting the shop more often recently. She’d begun to wonder if he might be interested in her and the flowers told her he might just be.
But why wasn’t she interested in him? He didn’t look like a bad boy but he was a nice-looking guy, even when he did blush bright red. And they both loved books. Really, he was just the sort of guy she should be considering.
Except she wasn’t. Perhaps she was stupid. Smart, smart but not street smart, that had always been her problem. Life tended to confuse her but give her books and mathematical problems and she was at the top of her game.
But, no. When it came to men she was stupid. Especially because she was secretly wishing it had been Sawyer than had brought the flowers.
Chapter Eight
Maddie looked great in black. He knew he was meant to be playing the grieving son but he couldn’t help glancing at her. Though he tried to stare at the casket and summon something other than relief, he couldn’t. His father had been a sadistic bastard and it really felt like a weight had lifted.
His father’s coffin was slowly moved behind the curtain and they stood for a hymn. Many of the locals had turned up but he didn’t care about any of them. Though they had kind words to say, they weren’t sincere. Maddie, however, was genuine in the way she’d touched his arm and asked if he was okay. It was more than he deserved after the way he’d treated her all those years ago.
But...he was here to make up for it, right? He wasn’t that same self-centred jerk who had left her because he was too scared to face up to anything. He’d always told himself he was doing the best for her. Hell, even her parents had wanted him gone, telling him she wouldn’t go to college if he didn’t leave. And it was all true. However, really he’d done it for himself. So he could get away from Ballicliff and their judgement.
Sawyer couldn’t regret those twelve years apart. It had made him into the man he was today. And that man finally deserved a woman like Maddie. He simply had to prove to her she needed him just as much.
Damn, she really did look amazing. That black dress skimmed her curves just so, reminding him of the hot-as-hell figure beneath it. He’d always lusted after her—they’d lost their virginities together—but they hadn’t known much about sex if he was honest. Now he could only imagine what he would do with those curves...
He snapped his head forward as the singing ended and drew in a long breath. As much as he didn’t want to be here, he needed to at least look like the doting son. He stepped forward and waited for the guests to exit the crematorium as they all shook his hand and offered their sympathies. Few of them looked him in the eye.
This was how it would always be. Once a bad boy, always a bad boy. But they didn’t matter. Only Maddie did.
“How are you?”
He put out a hand automatically and she slipped hers into his. When he met her gaze, she appeared as shocked as he that they were touching. Shards of sensation slipped up his arm and he gave her hand a little squeeze before releasing it.
“I’m fine.”
“Sure?”
Sawyer smiled at the concern in her gaze. She knew about the fights he had with his dad and how the man pretty much hated him to the point of ignoring him, but she never got quite how bad things were. She never knew that his father couldn’t be bothered to feed him or wash his clothes. After the death of his mother, he’d taken care of himself.
He leaned in a little, just enough to smell her floral perfume and spot the tiny scattering of freckles on her nose. “Totally fine, I promise.”
Taking a moment to thank the crematorium staff, he joined Maddie once more. She had her back to him as she spoke to Aggie Braithwaite—one of the oldest members of the town. He briefly admired the curve of her rear against the tight dress and couldn’t help grinning when Aggie gave him a sour look. He’d been caught.
Though he managed to drag her away from Aggie, he didn’t get much chance to talk to her with all the well-wishers around. Even as they gathered in the pub for drinks and snacks, the buzz around her meant he couldn’t get a word in edgeways. He’d never really felt like he’d belonged here, but now he knew he truly didn’t. Maddie fit in perfectly, talking with the other locals, laughing and smiling, while he hung around the bar and was relatively ignored.
At his own father’s funeral.
He’d never please these people. Especially if they ever found out about his books. He smirked to himself and wondered what a prim old lady like Aggie Braithwaite would think of what he wrote.
&nb
sp; When most of them had dispersed, he sought out Maddie. It was only three in the afternoon and he didn’t much fancy being on his own. Perhaps it wasn’t in the best taste to talk about what they were going to do with his father’s house, but he needed it fixed up and gone as soon as possible.
“How are you?” she asked and if it had been anyone else asking, he’d have wanted to punch them. How many more times would he have to say he was fine?
But Maddie didn’t make him feel like punching anyone. Her hazel eyes seemed to do something to his heart and turn it into mush.
“I’m fine, Maddie. I promise. Don’t worry about me.”
“I can’t help it.”
That admission turned his entire body to mush. She’d always been kind and caring—the nurturing type. He suspected it was why he’d fallen for her in the first place as a kid. She had been what he was missing from life. But he didn’t need looking after anymore. He just needed her.
“I was hoping we might get the time to discuss the plans for the house.”
“Oh, of course. I did have some information put together but what with being sick...”
He nodded. He wouldn’t mention his suspicions that maybe she’d also been spending time with another man. If he did, he couldn’t guarantee the same hot jealousy wouldn’t spike through him and make him say something stupid. Before he’d stopped by to collect some books about the history of the house and others similar to it—the very books he’d forgotten when he’d found her all sick and vulnerable that night—he’d also walked past the bookshop and seen a guy handing her flowers.
Perhaps he should give her flowers?
No, flowers wouldn’t do it. Jewellery? Maybe not. With the exception of some diamond studs in her ear, she didn’t wear jewellery. She never had done and he didn’t think that had changed.
“Do you have time now?” he asked, cringing inwardly at how eager he sounded.
“Sure. That is, if you’re sure you want to...”
“I’m sure.”
“Great, why don’t we head over to the old house now? I can show you better than I can tell you.”