by Petrova, Em
“Stretch out your feet, you’re not that short, Maddie.”
He lowered her down and she found he was right. The ground hadn’t been as far away as she’d thought and soon she was standing on the ledge. When he released her wrists, she gave them a little rub and rested back against the stone. Perhaps she wasn’t made for excitement.
A pair of legs appeared near her head and she nearly jumped into the ocean as her heart smacked against her rib cage. In one easy movement, Sawyer leapt down and stood beside her. He didn’t even stumble or slip.
“I hope this was worth it.”
Maddie looked out over the ocean. From where they were, it seemed as though they were in the middle of it. The beach was far behind and only the curving coastline reminded her of where they were. Behind them, the lighthouse had come on and it cast a long beam out into the sea. But aside from that, the only other sign of life was Sawyer. For now, it felt as though there was only the two of them left in the world and she kind of liked that.
“I think so.”
He took her hand. “I guess you’re right.”
Sawyer drew her closer, forcing her to face him. A finger came up to brush her hair from her face. Her pulse stuttered. With the sun disappearing, the dusky light drew out the shadows in his face. If it wasn’t for the way he touched her so gently, she’d think she was with bad boy Sawyer right now.
Part of her missed him.
A finger skimmed her nose then her bottom lip. She was fairly certain her mouth was hanging open like a fish. Perhaps she didn’t miss him. She definitely liked this Sawyer right now.
That finger traced her jaw, lingered over the shell of her ear and pressed into her hair. His whole hand cupped her head and she melted into him like butter on a hot summer’s day. She wasn’t entirely sure she even had legs. They seemed to have stopped functioning. Only her heart continued to beat. The rest of her had gone into shutdown as he closed the gap.
A breeze whispered between them but she didn’t think she had enough air to breathe. Everything grew tight with anticipation, including her chest. His mouth came down on hers, slowly, sensually. She kept her eyes open because she couldn’t quite believe it.
And now he was kissing her. It was so soft, she wasn’t quite sure what was happening. This strong man kissed her almost reverently. She hardly knew how to respond. For the moment, she remained utterly limp in his arms. Every shred of common sense or intelligence had vanished the moment he’d touched her.
Finally, the spark of warmth he’d ignited worked its way into the rest of her body and she was alive and functioning again. Now she felt everything too much. Heat thrummed through her. Desire pooled low in her belly, and she had the urge to fling herself against him and climb the man like a tree. Maddie leaned forward, flattened her chest to his and kissed him firmly.
He jerked, groaned and went to grab her but as she came up on tiptoes, one foot slipped out from beneath her. Then the other. The next thing she knew, she was coming up for air, water pouring down her face. She spluttered and grabbed wildly for the rocks.
Before she found purchase, a splash sounded beside her and she whirled to see Sawyer had jumped in after her. He didn’t go all the way in because his jump had been planned but water lingered on his hair and face like little sparkling stars.
He swam over to her and she shoved her soaked hair out of her face. Her clothes whirled around her, so heavy that they dragged her back and forth with the gentle wash of the waves.
“Are you okay?” He grabbed her arms and looked her over. His bare shoulders peeked out of the water and she realised he’d at least managed to whip off his t-shirt before coming in after her.
She grimaced. Her shoes had gone. Though the bottom of the sea wasn’t far away, they’d probably been dragged off by the gentle current and she certainly didn’t want to try diving for them.
“Maddie?” Sawyer pulled her into him.
“Yes, I’m fine.” She laughed at herself. “I’m an idiot, but I’m fine.”
“You’re not an idiot.” He flicked a damp strand of hair from her face. “You’re the smartest person I know.”
“I don’t see you throwing yourself in the sea.” He grinned. “Not unintentionally anyway.”
He released her and hauled himself up onto the rocks before holding out a hand to her. She gulped at the sight of wet muscle. If only it was just a little bit lighter. Then she’d have something to fantasise over forever.
Helping her out of the water and to her feet, he released her hand and began tugging at his wet jeans.
“What are you do...”
The words vanished when he pushed off his trousers and kicked them aside, leaving him only in briefs. God, why wasn’t it a brighter night? Couldn’t the lighthouse light swing just a little farther around and highlight him? She wished she had a better view.
Then he held up his arms and stepped to the edge. “Push me.”
“What?” She blinked at him several times.
“Push me.” He folded his arms across his chest. “You want to see me going into the sea unintentionally so push me.”
“You’re crazy.”
“Yeah, we covered that one before.”
Maddie laughed. He grinned. Her chest filled with indescribable warmth. Here was the Sawyer she remembered. He had that self-depreciating air to him. It said I don’t take myself seriously and nor should you. In a world that was too serious, he was such a refreshing relief.
With one large shove, she pushed him over the edge. He went fully under and for a moment, she panicked she’d done the wrong thing. What if he hurt himself? She’d never be able to rescue him. But he surfaced, the wide grin still in place. His hair stuck to his face until he raked a hand through it, making it stick up in a way that made her want to thrust her fingers through it.
“You coming in?”
“I think I’m wet enough already. And cold. Cornish sea isn’t exactly warm in case you hadn’t noticed.”
“Really?” He moved onto his back and did a leisurely backstroke past her. “I hadn’t noticed at all. Perhaps you should get rid of those wet clothes.”
Eyes wide, she considered his words. Get practically naked in front of him? She couldn’t. What if someone saw? What if he thought her bum was too big or he noticed her love-handles?
But his bold stare dared her and the daring Maddie she’d always longed to be urged her on. With shaking hands, she unbuttoned her shirt and flung it aside, not brave enough to look at him. She shucked out of her shorts, dropped them onto the stone with a slap and jumped.
Coming up with a gasp, she was greeted by a set of strong, warm arms wrapping about her body. He grinned at her. It was infectious. She grinned back and laughed when he threatened to dunk her under. Relenting, Sawyer drew them over to where the rocks sloped into the sea, enabling her to find footing.
There, under the waning light of day, he held her close and kissed her.
Chapter Ten
Maddie paused to eye the scaffolding going up on the front of the house. She smiled to herself. Things were progressing nicely and she had found she really enjoyed project managing. The shop hardly took much work and Nikki was always on hand so it didn’t add much to her plate even if Sawyer was concerned she was working too hard.
Her smile expanded. Sawyer. Her heart thudded even when she uttered his name in her mind. She hadn’t felt like this since...Well, since they’d dated all those years ago.
As she went around the side of the house, the decorator gave her a wave.
“How’s it going, David?”
He swiped a hand over his shirt. “We’re nearly done with downstairs. Obviously we can’t touch the kitchen until that’s finished but we can begin work on the rooms that have been plastered upstairs. Although we got the paint for the outside of the house today and it’s the wrong colour.”
“Oh damn, what a pain. Okay, I’ll look into it.”
“Sawyer said not to worry about it. He said to go ahead and us
e it.”
Maddie scowled. “I’ll speak to him.”
She didn’t want to tell him what to do with his own house but why ask for her help in ensuring the house was restored properly if he was just going to throw her plans to the wind? She stepped into the kitchen and spotted the cans of paint. She bent to inspect the label and picked up the invoice.
An arm looped around her waist, drawing her attention away from the paint. Warm lips met her neck and she shivered.
“Missed you.” Sawyer nuzzled her ear.
“It’s only been two days.”
He’d driven to meet with his publisher and she had to admit, she had missed him too. It was hard to believe how quickly she’d grown attached to the man who’d hurt her so badly, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. In some ways, it was as though they hadn’t been apart for twelve years and in others, she could see how much he’d grown as a person. If only he’d tell her about his books. He was awfully mysterious and it was beginning to frustrate her.
He twisted her around and kissed her swiftly. She drew back to eye his paint-splattered shirt. “Been getting your hands dirty?”
His eyes glinted. “Not yet.”
Maddie shook the invoice at him. “I need to sort out this paint problem.
“What’s the problem? It’s practically the same.”
She eased out of his hold and put the paper on the plastic-covered countertop. “I ordered Dawn Shimmer not Sunset blush. I’ll have to call them.” She shoved a hand through her hair. “This will put us back a few days.”
“So leave it. Who cares?”
“I care! It’s the wrong colour. I spent ages figuring out what colour the house used to be and that was the closest match.”
Sawyer backed up a step. “Everything doesn’t have to be perfect. There’s no point in stressing about it.”
She pressed out a breath between her teeth. He didn’t get it. It did have to be perfect. What was the point in doing something if you weren’t going to do it properly? This was typical old Sawyer. Too laid back.“The locals will hate it.”
“Damn it, Maddie, it’s just a paint colour.” He jabbed his finger at the invoice. “It’s too much hassle to send it back.”
“You can’t paint it that colour. You just can’t. What will everyone say?”
“I don’t give a damn what everyone will say.”
“But you should. You can’t live in a place like Ballicliff and not care what everyone thinks.”
“Who says I’m even going to live here?”
“But I thought...” Did he intend to leave then? Her heart gave a sorrowful pang. Why had he been pursuing her? Talking of marriage? Kissing her?
He pressed a breath through his teeth. “You need to worry less about what people will think, Maddie. You always did care too much. Live a little.”
“Oh like you do?” She folded her arms over her chest. “Turning up, telling a woman you want her back, that you want to marry her, before leaving again? Is that how I should live?”
Sawyer eyed her, his gaze intense. “I never said I was leaving.”
“Then what? You’re happy to kiss me and talk about marriage but you’re not even willing to consider you might like it here—that perhaps you even belong here.”
“I’ll never fit in, the sooner you come to terms with that, the better. As for the kissing...” he gave a half-shrug “I can’t help it. Can’t seem to resist you.”
She blew out a breath. That wasn’t what she wanted. Her anger about a paint colour was stupid, illogical. But it wasn’t the paint that bothered her. It was him. She had to know before she got deeper. What if she all but gave her heart to him and he left again?
“This was such a mistake. I can’t believe I got carried away thinking...”
“Thinking what?”
“About marriage... you...I’m so dumb to think that—”
“I love you.”
He said it so quietly, the words rushing toward her, she froze. Had she heard him right?
“What?”
“I love you.”
“I...” She scowled. Love? Love hadn’t even come into her mind. Love was something that you felt in your heart and she functioned in her brain. Everything logical and thought out, that was how she functioned. Except, you did think of love didn’t you? her heart whispered. “Well, I...”
“Am I stupid, Maddie? To have loved you for a decade...or more? Am I dumb for having come back for you?”
“Sawyer...”
“I loved you from about your thirteenth birthday. I never stopped.”
“But you just vanished. You’ve had twelve years to come back.”
He peered at her from under his brow. “I couldn’t come back. I wasn’t taking you down with me. I was never good enough for you and we both know it.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
“You don’t get it, Maddie.” Sawyer turned away and stalked through the house.
She hurried after him, pressing aside curtains of plastic as she traipsed through to the hall. “Sawyer,” she called but he ignored her. His feet pounded heavily against the bare wooden staircase. “Sawyer!”
By the time she got to the top of the stairs, he was halfway down the corridor. He came to a stop in the end bedroom—the bedroom that used to be his. Now it was nothing but a bare room with a workman’s bench and sheets on the floor. He stopped in front of the window and peered out at the harbour. His stance was implacable. Arms folded, legs strong. To anyone else, he would seem powerful and invulnerable, but she’d seen pain in his eyes.
All her anger had dissolved at that pain. Now she just wanted to understand and maybe soothe. Either she was very foolish when it came to Sawyer or the pounding throb of her heart was right. She really might still love him.
The temptation to wrap herself around his back was strong, but the need to understand was stronger. She remembered a few times when Sawyer had stalked off and not wanted to talk. The best way to deal with him had been to treat him like a skittish animal. To approach slowly and not touch. To allow him to make the first move.
So she shifted behind him and spoke to his back. “Will you help me understand?” she asked softly.
His shoulders heaved and she heard him expel a breath. “It was a long time ago, Maddie. It doesn’t matter.”
“It matters to me.”
He lifted his head and his fingers flexed where he’d propped them against the window frame. Outside, small boats sailed up the river and tourists walked through the idyllic cobbled streets. Whether Sawyer was watching any of it, she didn’t know. She suspected his mind was lingering in the past over whatever made him feel he wasn’t good enough for her.
“You always fit in here.” He rotated slowly. His eyes were hooded and full of something—as though flooded with bad memories. “I never did.”
“Don’t be sil—”
“I didn’t and you know it. Everyone talked about me being the bad apple. I know your parents hated me.”
She couldn’t deny that so she remained silent.
“Hell, even my own father hated me.”
“He didn’t—”
“For years he hit me, Maddie. He hated me, trust me.”
Maddie gulped and put out a hand but he shied away. “Sawyer, I didn’t know. Why didn’t you say?”
“He stopped eventually. It didn’t matter.”
“I wish you’d told me.”
A sad smile curved his lips. “You always were the good girl—and there’s nothing wrong with that. Hell, I used to wish I could be like you. But I knew I’d—I don’t know—taint you, if I married you.” He smirked. “You have no idea how hard it was to walk away.”
Maddie took a step closer. Just one step. She didn’t dare do anything more yet in case he bolted. “What about now?” His eyes flared. She squared her shoulders. “Do you still want to walk away now?”
“I probably should.” His lips twisted into a wry smile. “But I’m too selfish.”
&nb
sp; He closed the gap. Warm hands cupped her face, hot lips brushed hers. Goosebumps pricked her arms. Sawyer’s strong fingers pressed into her hair and she opened her mouth to him. She tasted coffee briefly before her mind shut down. She had never been kissed like this. Ever.
Arms wound around his neck, she allowed him to press the kiss deeper. Her breathing hitched, her pulse almost deafened in her ears. She couldn’t seem to get enough of him. Over the past few weeks small touches had been enough. The accidental brush of a hand, the not-so-accidental breeze past him. Now she needed all of him—against her, inside her.
Maddie wriggled her hips against him while his tongue explored her mouth. She met his exploration, touch for touch, sweep for sweep. He groaned when her body met his arousal. The sound sent thrills up and down her spine.
This man—this fascinating, sexy man—loved her. Perhaps that was what made the experience that much more. More exciting, more passionate. With Sawyer, she wanted to throw away the rules, to ignore the voice of logic in the back of her mind that said anyone could find them up here and that there was no bed and it was the middle of the day.
He tore away long enough to look into her eyes. “Jesus, Maddie, I can’t—”
She cut him off with a kiss. She didn’t want can’ts. She’d spent too long worrying about what she couldn’t do. Right now she wanted to concentrate on what she could. At the moment, it seemed she could bring a man like Sawyer to his knees. Not that she wanted him on his knees. She wanted him beside her or inside her. On top of her perhaps. Equal to her. She’d always felt so unequal in his presence. So boring and dull. To experience a tiny bit of what it must be like to be Sawyer was heady.
A hand came away from her hair and went straight to her lower back. He clamped her to him, allowing her to feel every inch of his hard body against hers. Every solid, hot inch.
“Sawyer,” she moaned.
He stilled briefly but must have taken the way she peppered kisses down his rough jaw and back to his mouth as encouragement. He rocked his hips into hers, sending little bursts of pleasure through her.