by Holley Trent
Papá forced out a dry cough and tried to sit up.
Doc helped by pressing the button on the bed’s electronic panel and motoring up the back.
“I’m still here. Guess I won’t be shifting again anytime soon.”
“Or ever,” Fabian said. He let go of the hand Astrid had offered him to aid in communication and eased to the bedside beside Doc. He propped his elbows on the edge and met his father’s wary gaze. “Time to grow old, Papá,” he said in Spanish.
“I messed up,” Papá said.
Felipe, leaning in the room’s doorway, grunted his agreement. He pushed off the frame and strode to the other side of the bed. “You did. You had your reasons. Perhaps Fabian and I will never agree with them, but I know love makes men do stupid things sometimes. I don’t know what I would do if Sarah died. I’ve taken a bullet for her once, or tried to. And I’d do it again, because between the two of us, I’ll always feel like she’s the more important one.”
Papá fiddled with the IV taped to the back of his hand and tried to peel it off. “Where is Sarah? Is she okay? Is the baby—”
Felipe made a shushing noise. “Baby’s fine for now. Sarah is upstairs being monitored by the high-risk obstetrics unit. They’re going to try to keep the baby in for another week if they can manage it, but—”
“But if she’s anxious to come out, you can’t stop her. You and Fabian were born early, as was I. All of us wind-walkers. My mother. Her mother. My mother’s grandfather. That baby wants to come out and be in her element. Little Gabrielle.” He grinned.
Gabrielle. That was it. Fabian looked at his brother, who rubbed his chin contemplatively.
He got it.
“Sorry to eavesdrop,” Doc said in English, swatting Papá’s other hand away from his IV cannula.
Astrid stepped forward and pressed her hand to the back of Fabian’s neck, so when Doc spoke again, her words were clear.
“My Spanish is about as good as my Cantonese, but I heard wind-walker. Are there others? People who can shift through other things like water and earth?”
Papá reached for the water pitcher on the bedside cart and filled a little plastic cup. “I’ve never heard of people walking through earth the way we do air, but melting into water—that I’ve seen. I was a child the last time I crossed paths with a person who could do that, though.”
“That’s amazing,” Doc said. Her eyes had gone round and she seemed to have temporarily forgotten about Papá’s IV site. He almost had the tape peeled off before she noticed and slapped his hand away again.
“That interest you?” There was a note of suspicion in Papá’s voice, but who could blame him? He was probably wary of people who asked too many questions about the things that made him not quite human.
Astrid cleared her throat. “Doc isn’t just our doctor, but she’s a scientist. She wants to understand how to take care of us without doing further harm.”
“Me included?” Papá asked.
Doc gave him a tap on the top of his head and moved away from the bed. “You too, Mr. Castillo.”
She was almost to the door when he called after her, “My name is Felipe. Like my elder son.”
She grinned and nodded, walking backward. “I know.”
“What’s your name? What does your mother call you, if not Doc?”
“She’ll never tell him,” Astrid whispered. “She never tells.”
“Ella,” Doc said. “My name’s Ella.”
“Huh!” Astrid balked.
“I’m going upstairs to check on your antsy grandfetus.”
“You’ll come back?” Papá sat up a little straighter, and the flirtatious grin he’d worn throughout their short exchange faded away.
Interesting.
Doc nodded, and spun on the heel of her gum-soled boot. “I’ll be back with a good lunch for you.”
When she’d left, the silence in the room seemed breathable. The second hand of the electric clock over the headboard ticked loudly as Fabian, Felipe, and Astrid stared at Papá.
“I’ve been on my own so long,” he said in English, probably for Astrid’s benefit, “that the idea of the room clearing out frightens me a little.”
“I know what that’s like,” Fabian admitted, and he looked down at Astrid.
She met his gaze and slipped her hand away from his neck. “I’ll give you guys some time alone. It’s been a crazy week. I’ll see you later, I guess.”
She waved goodbye and was gone before Fabian could process what she was saying, much less react.
He was staring at the empty doorway when Felipe rounded the foot of the bed and punched him hard in the arm.
“Jesucristo, what did you do that for?” Fabian rubbed his bicep and gave his brother a scolding glare.
Felipe didn’t seem affected by it. In fact, he strolled to the armchair in the corner and sank onto it, glaring right back. “If we weren’t identical and having brains of approximately the same size, I’d think you were an idiot.”
“Why?”
Felipe pointed toward the door. “You going to make it hard for her? Make her chase you? She won’t, you know. She has too much pride, and she should be proud. You need to work if you want her.”
“What are you talking about? Of course I want her, but I have to give her some space so she can think. So she knows she has choices. I don’t have a job, much less a permanent address. What can I offer her? Just consider it a cooling period,” he said, shrugging. “See if she still likes me in a couple of days.”
“Maybe you and he bumped heads in the air too many times or something,” Papá said to Felipe.
Fabian rolled his eyes. “Great. Commentary from the peanut gallery.”
Papá shrugged the best he could from his odd angle on the bed. “I’ve been a professional observer for more than thirty years. It only took me two minutes to figure out what was what.”
“Okay. You’re the expert, so tell me. I’d love to hear your psychoanalysis.”
“No psychoanalysis required. If she wants you, don’t make it hard for her to take you. Her affection is a valuable thing, so if she’s offering it, be gracious about it and return it twofold.”
“Let’s hear your excuse,” Felipe said. He’d picked up a magazine and had slung one of his legs over the chair arm. He was really phoning in this lecture, and rightfully so.
Fabian sighed. “I don’t want to bog her down. Why would she want someone like me when she could have someone who has something to offer her?”
“I recall Jacques asking a similar question about me when your mother chose me over him,” Papá said.
“And what was your answer?”
“I said I had nothing to give her but love, and maybe that was the most valuable thing I could offer.”
Fabian shifted his gaze to his boots and stared at the black laces.
“What do you want?” Felipe asked.
The whispering fall of the magazine being tossed to the table drew Fabian’s gaze up to his brother.
“At this moment, what do you want more than anything?”
“Roots,” he said without having to think.
Roots meant everything to him, and they weren’t just a place to live that didn’t have wheels attached. Roots meant stability. Safety. Responsibility. Having someone to share things with when he went home every night. Someone who’d forgive him for all his foibles but love him anyway.
A guarantee he wouldn’t be alone.
“You want that with her?” Papá bobbed his head toward the door to indicate the woman who’d earlier passed through it.
“If she’ll have me.” He said it so softly, that at first he could tell if the words had only been in his head, but judging by Felipe’s knowing nod, he understood he’d put them out there.
Well, he wouldn’t take them back.
“I’ll hang out here with Papá until Doc comes back, and then I’ll go up to Sarah. You don’t need to hang out here. I’m sure Papá will be going home soon enough.”
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“With you?” Papá asked, and his voice was quiet. He expected refusal, too. Felipe wouldn’t refuse him, though. He wasn’t that kind of man. He saved his grudges for people who were truly unredeemable.
“Would you rather live in a hotel? I could certainly arrange that if you’d prefer it.” Felipe reached for the corded remote control attached to the bed and pushed the power button.
“You should ask Sarah,” Papá said. “I wouldn’t want to intrude after being away for so long. It may be uncomfortable for her.”
“You wouldn’t be intruding.” Felipe locked his gaze on the television monitor bracketed into the corner and scrolled through the channels. “You’d be babysitting, once we’re certain you’re not going to fade away. Least you can do. Change a few diapers.”
“I’d be honored to.”
“What are you waiting on?” Felipe asked Fabian. He put his feet up on the edge of the bed and crossed them at the ankles. “Go. Maybe you can find her before she gets out of the parking deck. Long fucking walk from here.”
Fabian didn’t need another nudge.
He ran.
* * *
Astrid slammed on the brake and squealed as the human form materialized in the seat beside her.
She shifted into park and clutched her heart, wheezing. “Oh my God, never do that again!” she said to Fabian.
“Lo siento, dragón.” Tentatively, he extended his hand to her, and she wrapped her fingers around it, already feeling more grounded.
She’d become so used to touching him, that when they had to part, she felt an unquenchable feeling of panic. His proximity was comforting to her, so his purposeful absence over the past week or more had rendered her somewhat empty feeling.
“I…wanted to ask you something,” he said. “Before you head to the mountains.”
“What?”
His grip on her hand tightened a bit, and his forehead furrowed. His lips moved, but no words came out. Astrid knew he wasn’t struggling for a translation, but he simply didn’t know what to say.
She squeezed his fingers. “Come on. We have three kids and I was arrested for soliciting you for sex acts. Whatever it is, you can say it.”
That made him grin.
She loved that slightly crooked grin that bunched up on the right side of his face. When he smiled with teeth, he was absolutely gorgeous. It was hard for her to look at him without feeling stupid. But when his smile was reined in like this, her heart fluttered. She felt like a twelve-year-old at her first live concert and seeing her crush walk onto the stage. She sure as shit didn’t feel like a woman of almost thirty.
“Would you…mind so much if I traveled with you while you’re sorting out the mess with the Bears? I’m used to moving around, and I…” He closed his mouth, and swallowed.
She squeezed his fingers again. “Don’t you dare hold out on me. I thought you trusted me more than that.”
“Yes, I trust you. I’d never do anything to break your trust. Not intentionally, anyway. I’d never want to disappoint you.”
“You haven’t disappointed me yet.” Other than giving her the cold shoulder for a week, anyway.
He drew in a long breath. “We Castillo men, we don’t fall often, but when we do, we fall hard. I’ve fallen, and it’s a painful place to be in.”
“I get the feeling you’re being metaphorical.”
“Because you’re smart. Thank God you’re smart, because one of us should be.”
She gave his ribs a nudge with her elbow. “Quit it. I’ve seen the way you and Felipe work. You’re scary good the way you use the gifts you have in a fight. You scared the hell out of me back in Montana. I don’t like you being in the middle of a fight.”
His expression shifted into one of appalled horror. “I like the idea of you being in a fight probably less than you like me being in one. Are you serious? I didn’t know what to do when I saw Billy struggling with you. I was so conflicted. I was afraid to get in your way, but…I couldn’t do anything else.”
“I get hurt sometimes, but that’s my lot. I chose this job because I can use the gifts I have in a way that make me feel useful.”
“You should always have a partner.”
“I do most of the time.” She held up her free hand and splayed her fingers. “There are five Shrews, remember? We usually team up.”
“Five Shrews, but only one dragón. I don’t have much to offer you, Astrid, besides my name, if you’ll take it, and an extra pair of eyes on your back when you’re at work. Maybe I don’t have the fire in my belly that my brother has, but I won’t let anyone hurt you as long as there’s breath in my body or wind to move me.”
“Your name?”
Did he just—?
He skimmed the pad of his thumb against her jaw, and his gaze went soft. “Do you want me?”
She blew out a breath and pressed her free hand over her forehead, pushing her bangs up.
Did she want him? She had three imaginary kids with him. Wasn’t that proof enough of her devotion?
“Do I want you? Fuck, Fabian, I want to give you half the space in my closet and buy you real pajamas.”
His tense grip on her hand eased, and he chuckled. “I’m sure Maria would balk at that.”
“She wouldn’t care. Our lease is nearly up. We’ve both been house-hunting on and off for a year.”
“So, you’re saying…”
“I’m saying Shrews fall hard, too.”
The tension he’d been holding in his shoulders relaxed, and that dazzling smile returned. “You think Dana will hire me?”
“I’m pretty sure she’s already had Drea make you a file. Dana usually gets what she wants.”
“And I want to make sure you get what you want from now on, too. Follow you around like a little puppy you can’t shake off.”
She liked hearing those words coming from his lips. Who needed a ball and chain when she had a Castillo?
“I want you to shave. How about we start there?”
He crooked up one eyebrow and leaned across the center console to whisper, “I think you’ll find me more stimulating if I don’t shave just yet.”
It took a moment for the impact of his words to settle into her brain.
His talented mouth. Her needy body.
Oh God.
“O-okay. Maybe…shave later.”
He nipped her earlobe between his teeth and pulled. “Much later, I think.”
She started the car.
Oh God, yes. Much later.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Eric Falk stuffed his hands into his hoodie’s pockets and paced in front of the commercial stove in the lodge’s kitchen. “Astrid thinks I did it on purpose.”
A hearty soup started from scratch earlier in the day bubbled beneath an askew lid, and just from a whiff of it, he knew he’d over-peppered it this time. Would have to add some stock later.
The gathering of men on the other side of the prep tables leaned against the metal surface and watched him pace, but said nothing.
“When she gets back, she’s going to kick my ass from here to kingdom come, and when she’s done with that, she’ll curse at me until my ears bleed.”
None of the men said anything, because there was nothing they could say that could assuage his fears. They all knew the truth. Patrick, the Were-cat Alpha, was married to Dana. Bryan, the alpha Bear, had Tamara has a mate. Peter and Soren were Tamara’s brothers and knew of the Romanian Shrew’s mercurial moods all too well.
The men didn’t say a word, because they already knew that when a Shrew was pissed, it was better to let her work it out of her system. Eventually, she’d come down, but the period while she burned off the emotions was going to be rough stuff.
“Nobody would want to be this on purpose, right?” Idly, Eric scratched the bandage over the forearm one of Gene’s Bears had gnawed two weeks ago. The damned scab just wouldn’t heal. Bryan said it probably wouldn’t until he shifted.
“Nobody would want to be a
weak Bear underling.”
“Maybe you won’t be weak,” Bryan said. “Patrick’s not weak.”
“Patrick’s not a Bear. You said it yourself. Cats don’t follow the same rules.”
“Still, it’s unpredictable,” Soren said. “It’s hard to know what kind of Bear you’ll make until the beast comes out that first time.”
“But you all can smell it on me. You all know I’m just a phony.”
Bryan blew a ragged exhale and rubbed his eyes. Bryan was born-Bear, and that gave him certain strengths and responsibilities made-Bears didn’t have. But, the born-Bears had grown soft and sentimental in recent years and the clan had been taken over by an outsider—a made-Bear sociopath named Gene whom Bryan and the Shrews were now trying to force out.
“Yeah, I can smell it in your blood. Everyone who knows beasts will know what you are, but we’re trying to fix it so it’s not a curse to be Bear. Until then, find some way to make it a blessing.”
“I’ll accept any suggestions you have for that, because when Astrid gets back here, it’s going to feel like the complete opposite.”
“She was very nearly a lawyer,” Patrick said. He set down the bottle opener he’d been wielding and took a long swig of his dark ale. “Appeal to her argumentative nature. Give her a sound, logical reason why this could be a good thing, and have answers ready in advance for all her rebuttals. She’ll tell you that integrating into the Bear group would be dangerous for you. Well, you tell her you’ll be stronger this way. You’ll have someone watching your back. That sort of thing.”
“Does that work for you? When you’re about to go out for runs with the Cats, do you tell Dana everything is going to be hunky-dory because you’re a supernatural aberration and hard to kill? Somehow, I suspect she doesn’t buy it.”
“Aye, you’d be right. There isn’t a full moon that goes by that she doesn’t fret. She may not seem anxious to you, but I know her like I know myself. She worries something will happen—that the cat will take over and the man will lose control and not come home to her. Being worried is part of her nature, as it is Astrid’s. If they didn’t worry, they wouldn’t be so damned good at what they do. You’ve got to give them space to do it, even if it means you get yelled at on occasion.”