“Isn’t it time to check on those burgers?” I asked to avoid his stupid question.
He grinned at me. “Sure.” He stood and took back up his duties at the grill.
I, on the other hand, tried to remind myself that he was a lying, cheating jerk no matter how charming his smile was, or how kind he was to me. I had to keep reminding myself of it all night as we ate dinner and watched our daughters swim. It was hard, though. I found myself wishing for the other brochure. You know, the one where we would be in the pool together having fun with the four kids we’d planned on having. And the one where after the kids had their fun, it would be only him and me under the starry sky holding onto one another under the cover of the water. I had to stop that line of thinking. I had to stop thinking about him.
The following week our contact decreased quite a bit from the previous weekend. It was a good thing, too; I needed order in my life, which meant I needed my house to be organized and decorated. I didn’t need the distraction of an ex-husband.
Easton may have stayed away, but I found myself with a little shadow named Emmy all week. I had assumed when Ashley agreed to babysit for her dad all summer they would be staying at his house. Especially since his house had a pool and theater room. But every day the girls found their way to my house. I teased Ashley that it must be because I fed them, but she surprised me and said that Emmy wanted to be at our house and, truth be told, she did, too. She said there was this weird feeling at her dad’s house. I had to say, it did feel cold and uninviting, but I just thought I was biased.
I put the girls to work, and by Thursday the house was looking great. The only thing it needed was some curtains. I decided that on Friday I would drive into Denver and do some shopping. I told Ashley of my plan and she wanted to come and spruce up her wardrobe since she had a date Saturday night. Taking Ashley meant taking Emmy, which I didn’t mind. I kind of found myself looking forward to her company every day. Staying uninvolved had completely gone out the window. But taking her meant I had to talk to her dad. It also meant I was going to dig myself in deeper with her. I figured if we were shopping for clothes, we should buy some for Emmy. I didn’t know if she owned anything that fit properly.
I hemmed and hawed about it, but I knew it was the right thing to do. Emmy deserved attention and care. She was steadily working her way into my heart. I had to call Easton.
“Hello, Taylor,” he said, surprised I had called him.
“Am I interrupting anything?” I didn’t think he would answer in the middle of the work day.
“No, not at all.”
“Uh …Tomorrow I’m going to Denver to do some shopping and Ashley would like to come—”
“I can try and find someone else to watch Emmy.” Tension threaded his voice.
“You’ve misunderstood. I was calling to see if we could take Emmy with us.”
“Emmy would love that. Thank you.” His tone was much brighter.
I took a deep breath before I overstepped my bounds. “I was also wondering if it would be all right if I bought Emmy some new clothes. It looks like she has outgrown what she has now.”
“That would be so great. Thank you!” He didn’t even hesitate.
I almost laughed, he sounded so relieved about it. “I want to leave around eight.”
“No problem, I’ll drop her off on my way in, along with my credit card. You can use it for both girls.”
“I don’t want your credit card.”
“They’re my daughters, I insist. I’ll add you as an authorized signer.”
“That’s not necessary.” I had no desire to be on his credit card. We had already done that once, but that was when I was Mrs., not Ms. Cole.
He wasn’t listening. “Thank you so much, Taylor. I need to run. See you tomorrow.”
I got off the phone and found the girls. “Looks like our shopping trip is on,” I informed them.
Emmy even acted excited in her own Emmy way—she grinned wide and her eyes lit up. I had to admit I was looking forward to it, too.
The only part I wasn’t looking forward to was seeing Easton. Being around him wasn’t good for my mental health. I had been talking to Grams about him all week and she, on the other hand, thought it was just what the doctor ordered. She claimed it was healthy for Ashley to see her parents getting along. I don’t know that we were getting along, but we tolerated each other.
Friday morning dawned and Ashley and I were all dolled up and ready to hit the shopping scene in Denver when Easton pulled into our drive. It was a little drizzly, so he opened Emmy’s door and covered her with his jacket as they ran in out of the rain. It was a tender scene, but it made me jealous for all those sweet moments Ashley had missed out on with her dad. I closed my eyes for a moment and pushed those thoughts out.
I opened the screen door and let them in. “Good morning.”
Emmy came to my side. I put my arm around her and gave a little squeeze. Like I said, she was my new shadow.
Easton watched the two of us with interest. “Good morning, Taylor.” He said my name with this longing in his voice. It was weird.
I turned my attention back to Emmy. “There are some blueberry muffins in the kitchen if you want some before we go.”
She scooted off, which left me and my ex standing in the foyer.
“Aren’t you going to offer me any?” He had no shame at all.
I shook my head at the audacity that never ceased to amaze me since our return.
He laughed. “I’ll take them to go.”
“Fine.”
I turned toward the kitchen, but Easton reached for my hand and pulled me back. His touch sent a surge of warmth through my whole body. I had forgotten how perfectly our hands were made for each other, but when I looked up into those brown eyes of his I remembered why that didn’t—and couldn’t—matter anymore. I pulled my hand back and the warm sensation disappeared. In its place was sorrow for what used to be.
“Taylor,” he said, his brown eyes serious and deep, “I know I keep saying this, but thank you.” He reached up and stroked my cheek ever so lightly. When he pulled away, he almost seemed like he was as surprised as I was.
I reached up and touched my cheek where his warm hand left a trail, staring into his startled face.
He shook his head as if to break the connection between us. I released the breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding in a rush.
He didn’t seem to notice as he reached into his wallet to retrieve his credit card. “Please take this.” He handed over his platinum card.
I really didn’t want to. I know it sounds dumb, but it seemed like an intimate thing to carry his card. Okay, it sounded really dumb, but still.
“Please, Taylor.”
I reached out for it with great reservation.
He grinned mischievously. “You should get yourself something pretty while you’re at it.”
I pushed it back toward him. I already felt bad enough taking alimony from him every month. My lawyer had informed his lawyer it wasn’t necessary on several occasions, but for some reason, he still on insisted on paying it.
“I’m kidding, Taylor. Well not really, but please take the card.”
I put it in my purse. “I’m only using it for Emmy’s clothes.”
He shook his head at me. “No. I don’t want Ashley to think I love her less.”
My eyes flashed and I clenched my purse.
He winced. “I know buying her clothes won’t make up for the last however many years, but I have to start somewhere. Please let me do this for Ashley.”
I ran my fingers through my curled hair and tried to let go of my anger. “Okay.”
His smile returned. “You really are terrific. Now where are those muffins?”
Chapter Six
As we drove to Denver, I tried not to think of the morning exchange I’d had with Easton. I especially tried not to think about the way my body reacted to his touch. I was a grown woman in my forties for crying out loud. I wasn’t
some hormonally crazed teen, but for a brief moment as the butterflies had erupted in my stomach and my body had been all tingly from his touch, I’d sure felt like one. It was completely absurd. I reminded myself that he cheated on me and pushed the feelings aside.
We wound our way down the canyon to the sound of country music blaring on the radio. It wasn’t my favorite, but we always compromised. I would listen to Ashley’s music for half the time and then I got the pleasure of putting on my “old” music. My mom raised me on Al Green, Marvin Gaye, Percy Sledge, and Otis Redding—the greats. After all of these years, it was my go-to music. My daughter had never appreciated it, but maybe someday. It eventually grew on her father. But I wasn’t thinking about that.
Ashley and I kept trying to engage Emmy in conversation as we made our way to the shopping complex. She was such a quiet girl, but as we neared the city she seemed apprehensive. She kept glancing out the window. She was wringing her small hands.
“Emmy, darlin’, are you okay?”
“My mom lives in Denver,” was all she said.
“Oh, I didn’t know that. Did you want to see her today?” I prayed she would say no. I didn’t want to ever see that woman again, if at all possible.
She shook her pretty little head no. It dawned on me that her apprehension probably meant the opposite—she was afraid she would see her mom. Why would that be? Easton never elaborated, but he had made mention that he didn’t want Kathryn involved in Emmy’s life.
I proceeded with caution. “You know, Denver is a big place and in fact, we won’t really be in Denver, so we won’t see your mom at all.” I wasn’t sure my hunch was completely right, so I wanted to tread lightly just in case, but judging by the way Emmy visibly relaxed, I was sure I’d hit the nail on the head. Ashley and I both looked at each other with understanding glances. Something was definitely off. No little girl should be afraid to see her mother. But unfortunately, I could relate. If I thought we might see my father today, I would be behaving similarly.
I changed the subject quickly, and with Ashley’s help, we got her talking about what she liked to do for fun and about clothes. Two of Ashley’s favorite subjects, and admittedly mine, too. Clothes were one of my many weaknesses.
We learned that Emmy loved swimming, horseback riding, and camping. I wasn’t surprised. Easton loved to camp, or at least he used to. Me, not so much. Ashley had been camping, but she had been too young to remember it. Easton convinced me it would be fun to take a one-year-old camping. I wouldn’t have categorized it as fun. It sounded like Easton had taken Emmy camping plenty of times, just the two of them. I looked at Ashley when Emmy mentioned it, and I could tell it bothered her a little. Ashley was a forgiving person, but there was some resentment there and I couldn’t blame her. It didn’t take her long to get a hold of her emotions as she continued to engage her sister in conversation. She was an amazing girl and I was the luckiest mom ever.
We made it to the shopping complex just as the doors opened at ten, which was good. We had two new summer wardrobes to buy and my curtains. As we walked in, I noticed how close Emmy stayed to me. Every day this girl was wending her way into my heart. I had this innate desire to want to take care of her. I put my arm around and held her to me as we walked. I wanted her to feel safe and protected.
Ashley and I agreed we should start in the kids’ section, because once Ashley got going with trying on outfits we would be awhile. At our first department store, we found some darling capris in fun colors like tangerine and aqua as well as some striped shirts to match. They fit Emmy great and brought out her beautiful, creamy skin tone. We also found the perfect sundress for Ashley. As we continued store by store, we added bag upon bag filled with shorts, dresses, shoes, shirts, pants, and under garments.
While shopping for accessories, Ashley turned toward her little sister. “You should get your ears pierced.” Ashley held up a lovely pair of amethyst earrings against Emmy’s ear.
I could tell Emmy wanted to but was a little unsure about it.
“We’ll get matching earrings,” Ashley continued to coax her sister. “We both have February birthdays, so we can get matching birthstone earrings.”
I hadn’t realized Emmy was also born in February.
Emmy’s face lit up. She was convinced. We only needed to convince her dad, or rather, the girls did. I was staying out of that conversation.
Easton was easily persuaded by Ashley. She had a knack for it. I guess it was a good thing I had the same last name as Emmy; I had to stretch the truth some on the paperwork and say I was her guardian.
Emmy sat timidly on the chair, waiting for the small pinch. By her look, you would have thought they were going to torture her.
Ashley tried to keep some levity by making funny faces at her. It kind of worked; at least Emmy cracked a smile.
After the first ear, her sweet brown eyes began to water, but she bravely let them do the second one. I think by the end my eyes were watering, too. I was willing to buy her a puppy or anything else she requested to make up for the pain I allowed to be inflicted on her. In the end, she seemed pleased as she stared at her reflection in the mirror and touched the tiny purple earrings. I found my heart swelling as I watched her and stroked her hair. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. For a tiny moment, I looked between the sisters, who looked like sisters, and I wished … I wished for something I shouldn’t, something I couldn’t have.
After doing some major damage to Easton’s credit card and Emmy’s ear (okay the piercing was minor) we headed to the food court in search of sustenance. I wasn’t hopeful we would find anything I would categorize as such, but the girls vetoed me. They indulged in hamburgers, fries, and chocolate shakes. I found a halfway decent grilled chicken salad.
After lunch the girls threw me for a loop. “Momma, since we are here, can Emmy and I pick out some Father’s Day gifts for Dad?”
It was my least favorite holiday of the year. I tried to forget about it. The only years I enjoyed it were the two when Ashley was a few months old and when she was one. I reflected back on the little hand and feet impressions of Ashley I made for Easton. I missed those tiny, kissable fingers and toes. I wondered if he kept them.
“So, Momma, would that be okay?” Ashley asked, bringing me out of my thoughts about Easton.
“Yes, of course,” I said without thinking. I reached into my purse, pulled out my wallet, and handed them some cash. I couldn’t very well let them use their dad’s card to buy his gifts, and I had no desire to shop for him either. “You girls take this and get your dad something nice. While you’re doing that, I’ll shop for curtains. How does that sound?”
They both shrugged their shoulders and took the money. I could tell they didn’t like my plan, but thankfully they were going along with it.
Ashley kissed me on the cheek. “Thanks.”
I could tell he was bummed when she took Emmy by the hand and left me staring after them.
Was it really a bad thing for me not to want to shop for my ex-husband’s Father’s Day gift? It wasn’t that I hadn’t ever before. The last several years I always made sure Ashley got him something and sent it to him, but I had been looking forward to the day I could send her to the store to do it herself. I mean, he wasn’t my dad. I didn’t even like to think of my own dad on Father’s Day. In my book, the only man worth caring about on that particular day was Harry, and I had already sent his gift. He was more of a father to me than anyone. Even if he wasn’t thrilled when I was born—he always told me that had nothing to do with me, and everything to do with my no-good father who had stolen his baby girl away. Grams said the moment he laid on eyes on me he was in love, but since he thought he was too young to be a grandpa, he wanted to be called Harry.
As I perused through a few stores in search of the perfect curtains, I had a nagging feeling of guilt. I didn’t know why. Okay, I kind of did. I will say that though Easton was a cheating spouse, for the past sixteen Mother’s Days, I’d received a bouquet of pink
roses. The number of roses in each arrangement equaled the years Easton had been a dad. It had been a sweet gesture. Each card had read, “Thanks for making me a dad.” It was so stupid, but I started tearing up just thinking about it.
There was only one thing I could do. I pulled out my phone and dialed my daughter. “Ashley, love, where are you guys?”
We picked out Easton’s favorite cologne and a very handsome Italian leather case. And last but not least, a fancy pen to write out prescriptions with. I was the best ex-wife ever. More importantly, it made the girls happy.
By five o’clock, we were beat and weighed down with bags. I was grateful that my SUV had plenty of room in the back; we covered almost every inch of it.
Halfway through the drive home, we looked back to find Emmy sound asleep. She looked so adorable curled up into herself.
I had Ashley lay my jacket over her so she didn’t chill in the air-conditioned car. “You are such a mom, Momma.”
“I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Ashley giggled softly at my sarcasm, but it was short lived. “Has Dad told you why Emmy seems so afraid of her mom?” she almost whispered.
I briefly glanced at Ashley. “No. I don’t think he wants to talk about it,” I whispered back. And to be honest, I didn’t really want to know. It was none of my business. Kathryn was already my least favorite person. I didn’t need any more reasons to hate her.
“Well, I’m just glad you’re my momma.”
I squeezed her knee gently. “You and me both, baby girl.” She was the greatest blessing in my life.
We pulled back into Merryton around seven and met Easton at Jessie Belle’s Café. I only agreed to it because the girls were becoming great little blackmailers, not to mention I was starving and too tired to even think about cooking.
Easton met us at my car with a big grin on his tired face. Though his smile said happy, I could tell it had been a long day for him. His eyes said it all.
Emmy had woken up and was the first out of the car to meet her dad. She showed off her pierced ears. “Dad, you should see all the clothes we got. I got new dresses and swimsuits.”
Taylor Lynne: The Women of Merryton - Book Two Page 6