Jessie smacked her. She was closest. “Cheyenne!”
“What? I was cutting Devon’s hair today and she just happened to mention that Dr. Cole seems to spend a lot of extra time now in the Women’s Center in a certain nutritionist’s office.”
Devon was a cute labor and delivery nurse, or at least I thought she was cute until now.
I cleared my throat. “We have a daughter together and …”
They were all staring at me and smiling smoothly.
“We’ve been divorced a long time.” I hoped that settled the matter.
They all nodded their heads at me like uh huh, sure we believe you.
This isn’t what I expected. I came here to quit thinking about my ex-husband.
“Don’t let Cheyenne get to you,” Rachel said. “She’s jealous that Dr. Cole isn’t interested in her.”
“Guilty.” She wasn’t embarrassed at all to admit it.
Wow, she is bold, I thought. “Don’t worry, Easton’s still available,” I said, but inwardly I prayed he would be smart enough to avoid her. It sounded like he had already made a critical error with wife number two. Emmy, Ashley, and even Easton deserved a better number three, and I didn’t think Cheyenne fit the bill.
“Maybe,” Jessie said with a smile. “But enough talk about men. Let’s get down to business,” she waved her hand over the plethora of delicious looking food on the table in between us all. “I even made sure to throw in some healthier fare for you,” she said to me.
“Thanks,” I smiled.
From there, the night went more how I expected it would. I got caught up on the Merryton gossip and learned more about them. I was already pretty caught up on Jessie’s life as we had communicated somewhat frequently over the years and especially this past year as I was trying to decide on what I should do. I did love to hear her talk about her stepdaughter and husband. I knew she and Blake had hit a rough patch and I was happy to see that they were happier than ever.
Cheyenne was all that I thought she was, a player to the core. I had to say I admired her tenacity, and maybe I liked to see a woman get away with what men seem to do so easily. Abby was the sweetest thing ever and a mom through and through. She and Jessie were both worried about their kids starting high school this year. Both were trying to talk me into joining the PTA and a ton of committees. I would have normally agreed right away, but I was trying my best not to settle in Merryton. I wanted as few ties as possible. I noncommittally told them I would consider it. Jessie’s look told me she understood.
Rachel, though the youngest of the group, was impressive. From the sounds of it, she ran her father’s insurance agency and was savvy. I liked her even more. I especially admired her sacrifice in choosing to raise her sister’s son from such a young age and by herself. It was a brave and noble choice. I hoped someday she would find a man deserving of her, if that was what she decided she really wanted. From the Father’s Day conversation we’d had, I would bet she wanted that companionship. I for one knew how lonely it could be to parent alone.
Another interesting tidbit involved the baseball game the next day against Riley Insurance. Apparently Landon Riley was Jessie’s high school boyfriend and things didn’t end well. He was married now, but I guess he still held a flame for Jessie. And to add to the craziness, he had a lunatic wife who once slashed Jessie’s tires their senior year. This all added to the rivalry between the two teams. I guess Jessie’s team had never beat his and they were hoping to change that tomorrow. Jessie invited me to come and I accepted the invitation, only because I knew I would end up there any way. Emmy and Ashley would make sure of it. The only one not going was Rachel. She found baseball to be boring; football was her sport of choice.
All in all, it was an enjoyable evening and I was glad I went.
That feeling didn’t last. I got home in time to see my daughter being kissed a little too vigorously for my taste in Raphe’s little truck in my driveway. I was so shocked I didn’t know what to do. In my flustered state I almost turned around, but then I thought, hey that’s my kid. I did the only self-respecting thing I could think of to do. I honked my horn. That broke up the hormone-crazed teens. They both looked back at me from his truck, and even from where I was, I could see the little perp’s face turn twenty shades of red. Ashley fled the vehicle and waited for me by the lawn. I watched Raphe back out of our drive. I made sure to glare at him as he passed me on the driver’s side. Not that it did any good. The kid refused to look my way.
I didn’t even bother pulling into the garage. My heart was beating out of my chest. I wasn’t ready for this. Ashley was still Emmy’s age in my mind. She shouldn’t be making out with boys. I knew I couldn’t overreact—besides the whole honking my horn thing. I took a deep breath. It was times like this I wished for a husband, a partner, someone to hold my hand.
I slowly walked to my daughter, who suddenly had a strange fascination with the lawn as she kept staring at it. “Hi honey,” I said calmly, with love.
She looked up at me with those brown eyes of hers that reminded me of hot chocolate on a cold winter’s night, they were usually warm. Not tonight. “Momma, I can’t believe you embarrassed me like that!”
I approached her cautiously, she had never really yelled at me before, but I was her mother. “You weren’t embarrassed by the fact that the whole neighborhood could see you and Raphe going at it?”
“We weren’t going at it, Momma, we were just kissing.”
“Believe me, I could see that.”
“We didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Okay. Well the next time I see your boyfriend’s tongue down your throat, I’ll dispense with the horn and knock on the window. Will that be better for you?”
Her face reddened and she threw her hands up in the air and stomped off.
I stood there dumbfounded. She had never behaved like this. Not only had I witnessed my baby being groped by some imbecile kid, but now I was the bad guy? I let her walk in and slam the door. I followed, but stopped on the porch and sat on one of the steps. I felt lost and alone. I pulled my sweater around me and wished for someone to talk to. I had always worried about what would happen when Ashley got older. I didn’t have a mother and father at this age; I didn’t know what to expect. Sure I had Grams and Harry, but grandparents treat you a lot different than parents. I felt so inadequate at the moment. I needed advice.
I looked at my phone. It was 10:30. Too late to call Grams in Alabama. Then I had a stupid thought. I could call Easton, he was the dad after all. I wondered if he was still up. I wondered if I had lost my mind. Was I making a bigger deal of this than I needed to be? I’m sure it would blow over. But what if I screwed everything up? We’d had the perfect mother-daughter relationship in my mind. I looked at my phone again and ran my fingers through my hair. The fact I was even contemplating calling my ex-husband was insane. I’d never once called him to discuss parenting issues. I took a deep breath and texted, Are you still up?
I regretted it the second I hit send. What was I thinking?
My phone rang, making me jump. I wasn’t expecting him to call … and not so soon.
“Hello.”
“Is everything okay?” He didn’t even bother with pleasantries or greetings.
I wasn’t sure how to respond. Yes, everything was okay, per se, but I didn’t feel okay.
“Taylor?”
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound fine and I don’t think you would have texted me if you were.”
I snickered a little. He was right.
“So what’s wrong?”
I took a deep breath of the cool night air and sighed. “I came home tonight to find our daughter making out with Raphe in his truck. I kind of panicked and honked my horn at them.”
He laughed. “That’s nicer than what I would have done if I had been there. Do you know where that kid lives, by the way?”
“Perfect, you can go beat up him, then Ashley can be mad at you instead of me.”
“I
s that what’s bothering you?”
“Yes.”
He laughed again. “She’s a teenager, I think it’s pretty normal for them to get upset with their parents. In fact, I would think something was wrong if that never happened.”
“It’s never happened before.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes. We’ve had the perfect relationship until tonight.”
“Taylor, life isn’t perfect, and one blow up with our daughter doesn’t spell disaster. Believe me, this is normal.”
“What if I messed everything up?”
“You acted like a mother tonight, a good mother.”
I began to cry. “What if I don’t know what to do now that she’s older?” I felt so stupid breaking down to him, but I was scared.
He paused for a moment. “Taylor, you’re the best mother I know. I have no doubt you’ll figure it out. But every now and then you’re going to make mistakes, that’s life and it’s okay. You don’t have to be perfect.”
“What if I want to be?” I sniffled some more.
“It’s still never going to happen, but no one is going to count that against you, especially me.”
“Thanks, Easton. I’m sorry I bothered you so late.”
“You can bother me anytime. In fact, I hope you do.”
“Yeah, well, the next time I see some kid sticking his tongue down our daughter’s throat, you’ll be the first one I call.”
“I really didn’t need that visual,” he laughed. “Now I really want to kill that kid.”
“Goodnight, Easton.”
“Hey,” he stopped me before I could hang up. “Are you going to the game tomorrow?”
“Yes. I’ll see you there.”
“I look forward to it. Goodnight.”
I got up and stretched. Sitting on the hard brick steps didn’t help me feel any better. It made me feel old as I stretched my back. It was fitting, since I was so uncool now with my kiddo. It’s not like I never thought she would kiss a boy, but in my mind we should still be playing with dolls and braiding her hair. I wasn’t ready for this. Sure, we’d had all the talks. She promised me she would set boundaries and I wouldn’t have to worry about becoming a grandma for many years to come, but I also knew how persuasive the opposite sex could be. I knew how hard it was to say no in the heat of the moment. That’s how I had found myself eloping. I thought back to our first night as husband and wife. We were both so young and inexperienced. Having sex for the first time wasn’t as magical as they always made it out to be. Looking back, it was almost comical in a sense, but practice makes perfect. I shook my head. Sleeping with Easton was the last thing I needed to be thinking about at the moment.
I walked into a dark, still house. I wondered if I should go in and talk to her, or if it would be better for us both to sleep on it. I didn’t like feeling unsure about what to do, so I decided to head to my room. Cooler heads would hopefully prevail in the morning.
I lay in bed thinking about how fast my life was changing and how I couldn’t stop it. I felt out of control, but not completely horrible about it. That looser knot in my chest was helping the situation. I had to confess it was kind of a nice feeling to know I might have someone to share the wonderful burden of parenting with. I couldn’t completely count on Easton because I was afraid he would let me down. I wasn’t jumping on that train, but who knew, maybe once in a while it could be good.
I felt like I was barely asleep when my daughter woke me up. I hadn’t been woken up in the middle of the night in forever. She didn’t say anything, but I knew she was in my room.
“Are you sick, darlin’?”
She didn’t answer; instead she crawled into bed with me. I had been sleeping in the middle of my bed for many years now—it seemed less lonely that way. I don’t even know why I owned a king size bed. It seemed wasted, but Grams used to say you only need two things in life: a king size bed and a television. I’m not sure why, but I never argued with Grams’ logic.
I touched her cheek as we lay facing each other. “What’s wrong, honey?”
“I’m sorry I yelled at you, Momma.”
I smiled. “I guess it was bound to happen eventually. I’m sorry I panicked and honked my horn at you. I didn’t know what to do.”
“Honestly, it’s okay. I was kind of glad in a way …”
“Why?”
She put her head in the pillow embarrassed. “I don’t know. It was kind of slimy. Is that normal?” I barely heard her as she talked into the pillow.
I rubbed her back and tried not to laugh as I thought back to what kissing was like. It had been a while. Too long, in fact. “Well … every guy is different; maybe he was nervous.” I tried to make her feel better about it. It’s not like I liked thinking about her kissing, but kissing is one of the greatest things ever invented, and I didn’t want her to miss out on it. I just didn’t want to see her do it.
She turned my way. “So it’s not normal?”
“Not really.”
“I thought my first kiss was going to be this magical thing, you know, leg popping, sighing, tingles, but it wasn’t. And I didn’t expect him to put his tongue in my mouth the first time.”
I tried not to cringe. “Well, in my experience, if you don’t feel any of those things when you kiss, it’s probably not a good match.”
“Did you feel that way when you kissed Dad for the first time?”
I wasn’t expecting this turn in the conversation. We rarely discussed my relationship with her dad. But the answer was easy. “In double doses.”
She smiled wide. “How long did he wait to kiss you?”
“Not long at all. I think it was the second day I knew him.”
“Momma,” she laughed.
“I know … but we kind of knew.”
“Knew what?”
I closed my eyes for a moment. What did we know? We were young and foolish, but it was all so real. “We knew we should be together.”
Her smile faltered. “Then why didn’t you stay together?”
I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes. “Because I was too afraid to tell him what I needed and he was a horrible mind reader.” And just like that, the tears rolled down my cheek. I wiped them away.
“Do you ever wish … you know?”
“Yes, but we both made choices and it doesn’t do well to dwell on the past, darlin’. Remember that.” I sat up and got out of bed. I went over to my jewelry box and pulled out my wedding ring. It was only a simple gold band, but I loved it. The inside was engraved with the title from our song, Let’s Stay Together. I cradled the ring in my hand and crawled back into bed. I handed it carefully to my daughter. “I meant to give this to you someday, and now seems like a good time.”
She took the gold band from me.
I could see the quizzical look in her eye.
“It’s my wedding ring.”
“There’s no diamond.”
“No. When we got married, we didn’t even have rings. Your dad gave this to me on our first wedding anniversary.”
“Were you disappointed you didn’t get a diamond ring?”
I shook my head no. “It was all we could afford at the time and it came from your dad’s heart.” I remember proudly showing it off at work, but everyone thought I was crazy for being so excited over a tiny gold band with no diamond. I didn’t care. Easton promised me a big diamond once he was finally settled in a practice. I expected one our first anniversary after we moved here, but I barely saw him that day. I had to remind him it was our anniversary. I never really cared about the diamond; I only wanted to feel like he loved me and I meant something to him.
“Can I wear this?” she asked, bringing me out of my thoughts. I was grateful for the interruption.
“It’s yours now, you can do whatever you want with it, but please don’t lose it.” I don’t know why I would care one way or the other, but I did. I watched her slip it on her ring finger on her right hand. It looked like a perfect fit.
/> We lay there, pillow talking for a bit longer until she drifted off to sleep. My mind was too full of memories to find sleep right away. I stared at my lovely daughter and tried to remember not to dwell on the past, and especially the what-ifs. Unfortunately, I found I wanted to. I found myself thinking about the non-slimy kisses shared between Easton and myself and how he always tasted like apples and cinnamon for some reason, and how there was a time I couldn’t get enough of him and how much I had yearned for him when I felt him slipping away.
I felt the knot in my chest tighten.
Chapter Twelve
The Jessie Belle vs. Riley Insurance game was the biggest and most talked about game of the season. Who knew city baseball leagues could be so full of intrigue and angst? I showed up with the girls thirty minutes before the game started and the stands were already packed. I guess Easton and I were dividing custody on Saturdays, including Emmy, too. I had the privilege of taking her and Ashley to get their hair done. Cheyenne had convinced me to give her a try. I was a little wary, because she seemed … what was a good word for her? Careless, perhaps? But everyone around here raved about her, so we took a chance and it worked out beautifully. Both girls looked terrific. Emmy finally got manageable bangs and a shoulder length cut—I hoped her dad would be okay with it, because she looked super cute, but a lot of hair had hit the floor—and Ashley got long layers. She looked way too old and beautiful for my own good. The girls looked so good, I let Cheyenne convince me to make myself an appointment with her the following week. My main reason for not wanting to schedule an appointment with her was because once you chose a stylist, it was like you were saying, I’m making this place my home. At least for women. I don’t think men care about those kind of things.
Easton was waiting for us near the stands, he wanted to kiss his girls for luck. In parting, I got a smile and a wink as he strode off toward the dugout and a million thanks for taking care of the girl’s feminine needs. He loved Emmy’s hair. I watched him for a brief second as he walked off. Baseball pants … there was something about them.
Jessie and her crew, which I guess might now be considered mine, were saving us seats midway up the stands. I still felt like the new kid and like everyone was staring at me. I knew being “friendly” with my ex and always having his daughter with me didn’t help, but I found I liked it best when Emmy was with Ashley and me. It felt more complete, like I had been missing her. For my mental health, I had to push how she got there in the first place out of my mind.
Taylor Lynne: The Women of Merryton - Book Two Page 12