As I watched him be the father I always knew he could be to Ashley, I had a harder and harder time loathing him. I was particularly touched over the July Fourth weekend when he asked Ashley to escort him to the Mayor’s annual ball. I was doing everything I could not to be involved in the community, so I disregarded the coaxing from Jessie and Rachel that I should attend. Instead, I opted to watch Emmy. I was becoming more involved with her than I ever intended, but I couldn’t help myself. She easily won over my heart, and as long as I didn’t think about how she arrived on the planet, we had no issues.
Ashley was more than looking forward to her father-daughter date, and not just because it was another excuse to go shopping. We found the most darling periwinkle blue party dress for the occasion. The short, flirty dress was made of satin with a lace overlay and she looked absolutely picture perfect in it. We found the perfect nude heels to match. She would be the belle of the ball.
The ball fell on the Friday night before the Fourth of July and was such a big deal that most of Merryton was shut down for the occasion. It was a perfect excuse to escape with Emmy to a nearby town to catch a show and dinner. No prying eyes or odd glances.
I helped Ashley get all dolled up by doing her hair. We styled it in a low braid that was a combination of a fishtail braid and a French braid. She looked gorgeous. Her happiness only added to her beauty. I was a tad jealous that her dad could make her so happy, but mostly relieved. It was the way it should be.
Easton and Emmy arrived at a quarter ‘til six. Ashley was finishing up her makeup, so I answered the door. I wasn’t prepared to see Easton decked out in a dark suit and tie. He looked amazing, even with the poorly tied azure tie. My heart rate went into overdrive. It was a problem I needed to work through.
We both stood and stared at one another for a moment. He looked me over in my casual white shorts and red button-up blouse while I tried my best not to ogle him.
“Come in,” I managed to say, but it came off as awkward.
Emmy hugged me before running off to find her sister.
Easton held a lovely bouquet of lavender roses and baby’s breath. “I brought these for Ashley.” He was trying to make sure I knew they weren’t for me. He didn’t need to clarify.
“I’m sure she’ll love them.” I turned around to hurry Ashley up. Her dad needed to go.
“Taylor,” Easton called before I barely made it a few steps.
“Yeah,” I responded without facing him.
“Would you mind fixing my tie for me?”
Yes, I would. That would torture me some more by getting up close and personal. “Sure,” I said as I turned around.
He grinned as I approached him with care. “I’ve never been able to master it,” he admitted.
I shook my head. “For someone that performs surgery, you’d think it wouldn’t be an issue.”
“I can’t be perfect at everything,” he teased.
I did my best to not breathe him in as I undid his tie. I tried desperately not to look in his eyes. And mostly I tried not to remember how much I loved tying his tie for him. I especially used to love how it took forever because he would always bend down and kiss my face and neck until he was almost late for whatever appointment he had.
“Thanks for keeping Emmy tonight, she’s been talking about it all week,” he said.
“It’s no problem.” I kept my focus on tying an Eldredge knot. I couldn’t look up at him. He smelled fantastic and his cinnamon breath and pheromones were eliciting an undesirable response.
“Taylor,” he said.
“Yes?” I said into his chest.
I guess that didn’t work for him. He tipped my chin up gently with his hand. Hormone overload.
I looked into his warm eyes.
“Thank you,” he repeated in that smooth voice of his.
“You’re welcome,” I whispered back.
He didn’t release my chin, or my eyes with his own. I felt frozen in place. The electricity between us was palpable. Thank goodness for children in the house.
“Dad,” Ashley said.
Easton and I both took a step back from each other. I felt like I needed to crank up the air conditioner. Either that or menopause was hitting me early. Hot flash was an understatement.
Easton smiled at our beauty and met her halfway in the foyer. He gently touched her cheek. “You look beautiful, honey.”
My eyes stung with tears. Was I going to be emotional every time Easton acted fatherly toward our daughter?
“Thanks, Dad,” she responded.
Emmy joined my side and I put my arm around her.
Easton held out the flowers for our daughter. “These are for you.”
Ashley grinned wide. “Thank you.” She took them and breathed them in. “You know these are mom’s favorite flowers?”
Easton looked my way. “I know.”
I didn’t think he would remember. He used to leave a single lavender rose on his pillow, sometimes with a note, so when I woke up it was the first thing I would see. I willed myself not to cry at the memory. Instead, I looked down at Emmy. “Ready to hit the town, sugar?”
She nodded her pretty little head.
“We should get going, too,” Easton said.
“I’ll put the flowers in water,” I offered to Ashley.
“Thanks, Momma.”
I took the flowers from her hand and looked between the father-daughter pair. “Have a good time,” I said more to Ashley than Easton. Looking at Easton was causing too many stirrings.
“We will.” Ashley enthusiastically hugged me.
Easton took the time to hug Emmy goodbye.
I looked at the scene in front of me and was still in awe about how different my life had turned out from what I thought and wished it would be. I sure as heck never planned on caring so much for Emmy, but in a way I think we each filled a void for each other.
We swapped children and each went our separate way. Easton and I didn’t speak to each other, at least not in words. Again, there was this pull between us, but it was as if we both knew we should ignore it.
As soon as Easton and Ashley were out the door, I turned to my little shadow. She was already right next to me. “Let’s go have some fun.”
She smiled and nodded. That was Emmy language for “Yes!”
One of the things that endeared me to Emmy was she talked when she felt like it, but didn’t mind when it was quiet. She also didn’t mind my kind of music, or at least she didn’t say anything about it. And, unlike her sister, she wasn’t old enough to sit in the front seat and change the station.
I watched her in the back seat from the rearview mirror. I noticed how she kept touching her smooth legs. Ashley and I were helping her get the hang of using a razor. She only nicked herself once so far, and nothing major. I was glad that she seemed less self-conscious.
Emmy chose pizza for dinner. Or at least I coerced her to choose. She had a hard time verbalizing what she wanted. It was another thing we had in common. I was trying to be better in my old age, and I made it my goal to make sure Emmy learned how at a young age.
I splurged and ordered a deluxe wedge salad, complete with real bacon bits and fat-filled bleu cheese dressing. It was delicious. I had forgotten how good bacon tasted, which was probably a good thing.
We walked hand in hand from the pizza parlor to the movie theater down the block. I loved the feel of her hand in mine. I missed little hands to hold, though she wasn’t that small. And I think she craved motherly affection. Easton was an affectionate father to her and to Ashley, but it couldn’t replace a mother’s affection, just like fathers offer something mothers can’t. I’d tried my best over the years to be both to Ashley, but I realized there was something only Easton could give her. Fathers make a difference. For so long I tried to deny it, first because of Frank and then because of Easton, but seeing the difference in Ashley in such a short time had only proved to me what I already knew deep down.
Emmy chose a movie adaption
of a children’s classic. I wasn’t surprised; I had seen her reading the Lewis Carroll classics. She was such a smart girl.
Before the movie began, I received a text message from Jessie. It was a picture of Ashley and Easton dancing at the ball. She is stealing the show tonight, the text read.
Along with the happy feeling the picture invoked, there was a twinge of sadness. I thought of what Harry had said and decided not to look back, only forward. I had to quit thinking about all the might-have-beens. I had to let go of the regret and resentment. I had to move on. I looked one more time at the light in Ashley’s eyes and tried my best to be happy for my daughter.
I texted back a quick thank you before squeezing Emmy’s hand. From there we enjoyed our movie. I think I may have watched Emmy more than the screen. I loved hearing her laugh. It was a rarity.
Emmy indulged me and let me read to her as we waited for Ashley and Easton to return home. I decided she needed a little fun in her life, and perhaps some lighter fare, so I read a cute middle-grade mystery that I used to read to Ashley.
Emmy’s head ended up in my lap and I stroked her hair while I read. I didn’t even realize she had fallen asleep until Ashley and Easton came through the door. Emmy and I were curled up on my couch in the living room and I had a view of the front door from where I sat. Ashley was still all lit up. Easton, on the other hand, gazed at his sleeping daughter in my lap and almost looked pained.
I set the book down and shook Emmy gently. “Hey sleepyhead, your dad is here.”
Emmy barely stirred.
Easton walked over and knelt in front of us. “Don’t wake her. I’ll carry her to the truck.”
I nodded in acknowledgment.
“Thank you,” he said quietly as he lifted her. He acted like he was in a hurry to leave. It was probably for the best. He didn’t say another word to me. He kissed Ashley goodbye on the cheek, and mentioned something about this being the best “date” he’d had in years. The two exchanged “I love yous” and Emmy and Easton were out the door.
I breathed a sigh of relief.
Ashley took her sister’s place and I began to stroke her thick, dark hair.
“Did you have fun tonight, love?”
“So much.”
“I’m glad,” I said. I even meant it.
We didn’t say anything for a moment.
“Dad and I talked tonight.” There was an edge to her voice.
“I assumed you would.”
“You know what I mean,” she said.
I was hesitant to ask what about by her tone. “Anything you want to share?”
“I asked him why he stayed away from me.”
Oh. I was not expecting that, but it was a natural question and one she deserved an answer to. It was one I had asked him over the years, but only received angry, defensive answers to. “And what did he say?” I prayed it wasn’t because of me.
“He said he didn’t want to and he never intended to. He said more than anything he wanted me in his life, but his life wasn’t a good place to be and that once Emmy was born, he felt like he couldn’t leave her with her mom.”
“Did he say why?” I interrupted.
“Only that she wasn’t a good person. He said I was blessed to have the mom I have. He mentioned he tried to leave her, but he didn’t go into any details. He started to cry. I think he feels really bad about everything that happened.”
“He cried?” I had only seen Easton cry twice. Once when we saw the first ultrasound of Ashley, and again the day she was born. He was so in love with her.
“Not a lot, but yeah, there were some tears. He said this past month has been the best month he’s had since you guys were married.”
“How do you feel about what he said?”
“I wish—” She paused. “I wish he would have tried harder to see me and I wish you guys hadn’t gotten divorced.”
She had never really said that before. It pierced my heart to have those words come out of her mouth.
“But,” she continued, “I’m happy we decided to come here. And thank you.”
“For what, darlin’?”
“For coming here. I know you hate it. And thanks for being such a good momma.”
“Thanks for being such a good kid. And I don’t exactly hate it.”
She laughed a little. “I know Dad is happy we came back.”
“Of course he is—he gets babysitting and food,” I teased.
She sat up and looked straight at me. “And he gets to see you.”
That wiped the smile off my face. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“He missed you.”
Chapter Seventeen
I was happy to be back to work after the long Fourth of July weekend. Between parades, fireworks, and Sunday dinner, Easton and I had to spend way too much time together and it was becoming somewhat awkward. Like we both realized what we had missed out on, and that there were still feelings there, but we knew they couldn’t be explored. We’d had our chance and we’d blown it.
Dr. Carmichael, the Chief Physician and the big boss, invited me to lunch that Friday to discuss how we could incorporate the New Mom’s program in other areas. I was excited to examine that opportunity. Since I had been putting together a class for the women’s group at church, it had got me thinking that I should be regularly doing this at the hospital. I even got grand ideas about doing it at the schools. If we could get kids to learn and use healthy eating habits while young, think of the disease and heartache we could prevent. It would be a good outreach program for the hospital.
I prepared a little PowerPoint for our lunch meeting. I was hoping to convince him of my ideas to get the ball rolling since I only had two years in Merryton. I say only, but what I meant was I had two long years here, so I needed something to help me speed up the time. Though the faster these two years went, the faster Ashley would graduate and move away. I was really trying to convince her that the University of Alabama was the school for her. She could still live on campus, but she would only be an hour away from our home in Birmingham. If she wanted to, she could even go to Auburn, which was two hours away. But she was keeping her options open.
I met Dr. Carmichael in the hospital cafeteria for lunch. I brought my lunch, per my usual, and he bought something that looked almost edible. Maybe we should start my program in the cafeteria, I thought.
Dr. Carmichael sat down across from me. “Thanks for agreeing to have lunch with me.”
“Thank you for the invitation. I’ve worked up a presentation outlining my ideas.” I reached down for my laptop.
He reached across the table and placed his hand over mine. “Let’s save that for later. I want to get to know you a little better.”
I sat straight up and pulled my hand away. “Okay? What do you want to know?”
He grinned and I noticed he had capped teeth that practically shined. If it were a movie, I swear I would have heard a ding and seen a sparkle come out of his mouth. He looked like the typical middle-aged doctor you would see on some nighttime drama, like a young Tom Selleck. He even had the gravelly voice. He didn’t seem like a bad guy, but he was successful and attractive and he knew it, and wanted everyone else around him to know it, too.
“You’re from Alabama, right?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Did you grow up there? I don’t hear an accent.”
I guess he was too into himself to know any gossip about me. “Actually, I grew up here until I was fifteen.”
His face registered mild surprise. “Do you enjoy being back home?”
How did I answer that? I didn’t want the boss to think I didn’t like it here. “I consider Birmingham to be more of my home.” I skirted the question. I hoped.
He reached across the table again and his fingers skimmed my hand. I decided to keep my hands to myself or keep food in them.
“Well, we will have to see what we can do to make you feel more at home here,” he said smoothly.
I wasn’t su
re I liked where this was going. I was beginning to feel this was a lunch date for him. I looked at his left hand to see if I noticed a ring. I didn’t see one, but that didn’t mean anything for doctors. With the amount of washing and scrubbing required, sometimes they chose to forgo rings at work. Maybe I was reading the situation wrong, I thought.
“Thank you. Did you want to see my presentation?”
He shook his head. “We can do that another time. Like I said, I was hoping to get to know you better.”
Was he hitting on me? Surely no, right? “There’s not much to know. My presentation is short.” I was trying my best to get him to change his mind.
“I like a driven woman.”
Everything he was saying could have been taken one way or the other.
“Thank you, Dr. Carmichael. So should I—”
“Please, call me Victor,” he interrupted. “And why don’t you just email me that presentation of yours. And if you’re not busy tonight, maybe we can have dinner together?”
I hadn’t felt this uncomfortable in a while. I was not attracted to him at all, and he screamed mid-life crisis. How did I gracefully get out if this? I looked up to see Easton walking our way. I had never been so happy to see him. I was so relieved I actually smiled at him. He did not smile back. In fact, he looked upset.
Victor mistook my smile. “I take that as a yes.”
Before I could reply, Easton arrived at our table and he looked out of sorts.
Victor looked up at him. “Easton, I was getting to know your lovely ex-wife.”
Easton looked disgusted at him. Victor smirked.
Easton knelt in front of me. “Taylor,” he whispered, “Frank is in the ICU.”
I wasn’t sure what to do with that information. I had been avoiding dealing with that demon. The one in front of me had been consuming too much of my energy.
Easton took my hands in his and rubbed them gently. His eyes were full of understanding. “I’ll go with you.”
I supposed I couldn’t put it off any longer, and by the look in Easton’s eyes, I felt like maybe this was it.
Taylor Lynne: The Women of Merryton - Book Two Page 16