“That would have thrown Kathryn over the edge. Besides, I didn’t think you would be okay with the idea. I could hear the anger in your voice every single time I had to cancel my trips. You don’t know how many trips I had to cancel. The stars had to align perfectly for me to make the ones I did. I’m not making excuses; I just want you to know I tried.”
“I’m sorry, Easton.”
“I am too, but I promise you, nothing will ever come between me and Ashley again. I don’t want to end up like Frank.”
“I think that’s impossible,” I tried to comfort him.
“Frank really wants to talk to you. He knows he can never make up for what he put you through, but with the little time he has left he wants the chance to get to know you. And Ashley.”
I could feel the anger flood my cheeks. “He will never know Ashley.”
“If that’s what you want.”
“It is.” I was holding firm to that.
“I know you don’t want to depend on me, but I’ll be by your side if you want to see him.”
“Why do care so much if I see him?”
“I know what it’s like to miss out on my daughter’s life because of my poor choices, but at least I get a second chance. He won’t get that. I’m not saying he deserves it, but the man is dying and his final wish is to get to know his daughter. I know you don’t believe it, and I don’t blame you, but I’ve never seen anyone more remorseful than him.”
I squeezed his hand harder. “I’ll think about it.”
Easton looked down at our hands. “I miss holding your hand.”
“Me, too. But you know, we can’t ever … you know … have a relationship like that again, right?” I don’t know why I needed to say that out loud. Maybe to remind myself?
He thought for a moment while rubbing his thumb across my hand. We won’t even talk about what that was doing to my senses. “I know, Tay.”
I pulled my hand away slowly. “So, no more alimony?”
“Are you trying to break up with me?” he teased.
I leaned over and kissed his cheek and lingered for a moment. I had forgotten how much my lips loved the feel of his skin beneath them. I allowed myself to breathe him in one last time.
When my lips departed from his cheek he turned and looked at me. His eyes bore into the very reaches of my soul.
“I’m trying to move on,” I admitted.
“Me, too.”
Chapter Twenty
I chose not to see Frank during the rest of his hospital stay. Easton kept me updated on his condition, but I never made it down to his room again. After a week in the hospital he was taken back to The Pines, where he was moved from assisted living to the nursing home wing. Easton didn’t push me to visit him, but kept offering to go with me if and when I decided to go.
I kept thinking about the story Pastor Bates had told me about the holocaust survivor. She was obviously a much better person than me.
I wanted to be that kind of person. I wanted to be a good example to my daughter. My main objective in being there was Ashley’s well-being. She deserved not to have the issues that had plagued me my entire adult life. She deserved both parents in her life, and I had to say Easton was being the father I always knew he could be. To be honest, the more we were there, the more guilt I felt for leaving in the first place, and for not having been honest with Easton about my feelings. I think if I had spoken up more about my feelings, we would have stayed in Birmingham. How different would my life be now?
I threw myself into my work. In addition to my one-on-one appointments, I started holding a group meeting every Tuesday and Thursday. It’s always easier to stay on track when you have a support group. Besides, when you’re a new mom, or even a seasoned one, it’s always nice to know you aren’t the only one going through the terribly hard but wonderful job of being a mother. I met with those that had recently given birth on Tuesdays, and my other clients on Thursdays.
I was also getting ready to teach the women’s group at church. Gloria Ryan was relentless. I was beginning to think she asked me so she could get the scoop on my nonexistent relationship with Easton. She kept saying things like, “You two look so good together.”
Jessie had warned me that her mother thought of herself as cupid and believed everyone should be in love.
The night of the seminar at church, I was pretty confident most women were there to find out more about me than they were about how to eat better. Remember Amy, the woman who looked more like she was always ready for the club and had hit on my ex-husband? She showed up. She had the audacity to raise her hand during the class and ask if I was seeing my ex-husband. It bothered me more than it should have. My response: “Yes, I see him frequently.”
It was true, but out of context. We shared a daughter together; we were going to see each other. It was almost pointless to teach after that. Several heads turned together to discuss what I meant by that. I should have clarified, but Amy wasn’t the right woman for Easton. She had Kathryn written all over her.
Gloria Ryan caught me after the meeting. “Jessie wanted me to tell you she’s sorry she couldn’t make it. She and Blake had to head to Denver unexpectedly tonight.”
“I hope everything is all right.”
She grinned subtly. “It’s perfect.”
I wasn’t sure what to say to that. I felt like there was more to the story that she was bursting to share, but she held back. I didn’t press for further details. Instead I responded, “I would be happy to leave you with my extra handouts.”
“That would be lovely, dear. Thank you.”
“Thank you for asking me.” I slid my laptop and projector back into my traveling case. I was so ready to go home, but Gloria laid her hand on top of mine. I noticed how elegant her hand was.
“I’ve been wanting to talk to you about your mother. Do you have a few minutes?”
I was stunned. I thought for sure she was going to say Easton. How could I refuse? “Yes,” I responded.
“Why don’t we go sit in the chapel?” she suggested.
I followed her with my case slung over my shoulder.
There was a bit of evening sunlight cascading through the large stain-glassed window that depicted the Sermon on the Mount. It was lovely, but Gloria decided we needed more light and turned on a few of the overhead ones. We sat in the very back wooden pew.
I looked over Gloria Ryan closely. She was what I used to imagine I would be like when I grew up. Married forever to my own doctor and still madly in love with my retired husband, living out our dreams together. Again, I picked up the wrong brochure. Don’t get me wrong, I knew I had a good life and I supposed I should be content with it. I thought I mostly was, but more and more I felt regret in ways I never thought I would.
“How are you doing?” she asked first.
I went the generic route. I knew anything I said to her would find its way around the grapevine. “I’m good. Thank you.”
She wasn’t to be deterred. She meant to get something out of this little meeting. “It must be difficult moving back to the town where your ex-husband lives.”
I smiled cleverly. Two could play this game. “It has its moments.”
She scooted closer and smiled charmingly. She was upping her game. “Davis thinks Easton is by far the best doctor in town.”
“That’s not surprising,” I replied blandly.
“It’s so nice to see exes getting along so well and willing to compliment one another. Just the other day, Easton was saying how much he admired you.”
I wasn’t falling for the bait. I smiled sweetly. “Did you say you wanted to talk to me about my mom?”
She didn’t seem put off by the change in subject. In fact, she smiled like she knew she had been beat. “Yes, dear.” She took my hand. “I don’t know if you knew or not, but your mother cleaned our house for years.”
I shook my head. I didn’t know. I knew she did a lot of things, from waitressing to being a maid at a hotel, but I never knew sh
e had worked for the Ryans. She was private about those types of things. I think she was embarrassed.
“Your mother was probably the hardest working individual I ever knew, not to mention kind.”
I wiped at my eyes. “Yes, she was.”
Gloria squeezed my hand. “She was so proud of you. She talked about you non-stop. You don’t know how much it meant to her that you moved back here. I think she knew she didn’t have much time left and you being back here was such a gift to her.”
“What do you mean, she didn’t have much time left? She died of a heart attack.”
Gloria’s eyes widened. “I’m sorry, honey, I thought you knew your mother had had heart problems for years.”
“She never said anything. I knew she wasn’t well, but I thought it was stress and living with Frank.”
“I’m sure that contributed to it, but Davis had been treating her for years. We tried to do what we could, but your mother was stubborn and independent.”
The tears streamed uncontrollably down my face. “If only she would have been more so with Frank.”
Gloria reached into her purse and handed me a tissue, which I gladly took.
“Well … I can’t explain that one either, but love—or the maybe the fear of being alone—can make people do inexplicable things.”
“I wonder why she never told me about her health. We could have helped her.”
“I’m sure she had her reasons, but I know she died in peace. She knew you were taken care of. Boy, did she love Easton and that little girl of yours.”
“She’s not so little anymore.”
“They have a tendency to grow up way too fast.”
I nodded in agreement.
“I know it couldn’t have been easy for you to come back here, but I thought you should know it did more good than you know.”
“And more damage,” I admitted.
She smiled sadly. “Well, maybe this time around all will be made right.” She stood up abruptly. “Have a good night, dear. And thanks again for presenting.”
I barely acknowledged her parting. I sat alone in the chapel staring at a stained-glass window, not knowing how to make everything right. Was it even possible? My thoughts were interrupted by my ringing phone. I pulled it out of my bag to see who it was and decided to answer.
“Hello?”
Easton was laughing on the other end.
“What’s so funny?” I asked.
“I just got off the phone with the fifth person that called to tell me congratulations.”
“For what?”
“You don’t know?”
“No. What?”
“Rumor has it my ex-wife announced we were seeing each other again.”
I sighed in exasperation. “I’m sorry, that was taken out of context.”
“Don’t apologize, I’ve been accused of worse things.”
“I’ll straighten it out. Don’t worry.”
“Are you okay, Taylor? You don’t sound like yourself.”
His kindness started up the tears again, which prevented me from speaking right away. “Easton, did you know my mom was sick before she died?”
He paused, started speaking, then paused some more. “I had my suspicions,” he admitted.
“Why didn’t you say something to me?”
“Because I had a feeling your mom wanted to use what time she had left to enjoy you and Ashley. She didn’t want that worry getting in the way. She begged me to move you home. I probably let that cloud my judgment. I’m sorry.”
“Maybe I’m glad I didn’t know. It seems like I don’t know anything anymore.”
“You and I belong to the same club then,” he responded.
“I’m sorry about the phone calls. I’ll announce I’m engaged to someone back home.”
“Are you?”
“No, Easton.”
“Can I ask why you never dated?”
“Who said I never dated?”
He cleared his throat and admitted reluctantly, “Our daughter.”
“You’ve been talking to Ashley about my dating habits?’
“Maybe … in passing.”
A small laugh erupted. For some reason I found it funny he would ask Ashley about my love life, or lack thereof. “I did date, but I kept it from Ashley.”
“How did you manage that?”
“A lot of lunch dates, and sometimes if she was out with friends or over at Grams and Harry’s, I would go out with someone.”
“So you snuck around,” he laughed.
“No. I was trying to prevent any issues. I was only going to introduce Ashley to someone I felt like would be a permanent fixture in our lives.”
“Thank you.”
I didn’t expect that response. “For what?”
“Being such a good mom and watching over our daughter.”
“You don’t have to thank me for that.”
“Can I at least thank you for making up the difference?”
I paused before I admitted, “Here’s the thing, I could never replace you in Ashley’s life.”
“You sound disappointed.”
“Sometimes I used to be, but despite everything that has happened, I’m happy she has you in her life.”
“There is no other place I would rather be than in your lives.”
Did he say “your lives?” I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. I thought for a second or two. “I should probably get going.”
“Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want to meet for bottled water or something?”
“Bottled water?” I laughed.
“It’s your drink of choice.”
“I’m fine. I need to get home. I haven’t seen Ashley or Emmy all day.”
“Thanks, Taylor.”
“For what?”
“Letting Emmy be part of your life.”
“She makes it easy.”
“I’ll see you Saturday?” he asked with hope.
“I’ll be at the game. Hopefully this time you’ll beat Riley Insurance.”
“We’ll do our best.”
“Goodnight, Easton.”
“Night, Tay.”
Chapter Twenty-One
I think the whole town came out Saturday afternoon to see Jessie Belle’s Café and Riley’s Insurance battle it out for the baseball league championship. Palmer Park’s parking lot was overflowing, so much so people were beginning to park on the grass. I was surprised at the amount of excitement it was generating. Even Rachel, who despised the sport, came out. Since Riley’s Insurance was her competitor—and Landon Riley was a world-class pig—she had a vested interest in it. She wanted to see him lose almost as much as Jessie.
The girls and I sat with our normal crowd of Jessie, Cheyenne, Abby, and the kids. Rachel joined us too. I was beginning to feel less self-conscious about my age when I was around those beautiful younger women. They had all done their best to make me feel welcome, even Cheyenne despite being infatuated with Easton. I knew she was waiting for the right moment to make her move, but Easton always put her off—to my relief. Emmy needed more of a Rachel in her life. I wondered if Easton would consider Rachel. She was fifteen to sixteen years younger than him, but definitely mature, and I was impressed with her mothering skills. If we were being honest, the thought made me jealous, but I knew Easton wasn’t one to be alone forever, so if it had to be someone, I could live with Rachel.
As we waited for the game to start I turned toward Rachel. “Where’s Drew?”
“My parents took him to the Denver Zoo today to give me a break.”
“That’s nice.”
“I think it eases their guilt,” she said to my surprise.
“Guilt?”
“They’ve always felt they should have raised him, but my sister put them through the ringer and they were worn out.”
“Ah. That makes sense.”
“They don’t need to feel guilty. Drew is the best thing to ever happen to me. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
&
nbsp; Rachel was definitely stepmother material in my book. Maybe I should put a little bug in Easton’s ear about her.
“Would you look at Veronica,” Cheyenne commented to the group.
We all looked across the aisle and down at Landon Riley’s wife. She was wearing some barely there, tight, black shorts and five-inch heels along with a tube top that was bursting at the seams. I was guessing she’d had her breasts enlarged. Those things looked like they could hurt someone.
“I hope she doesn’t bend over or we are all in for a show,” Jessie said.
Cheyenne was snapping pictures of her with her phone. “I’m adding this to my bimbos on parade collection of her.”
“You really should take that album off of Facebook, Cheyenne,” Abby half-heartedly suggested.
“No way. I’ve had more likes on that album than any other, and that’s saying a lot considering how popular my beautiful men album is.”
We all laughed at her. I seriously admired her straightforwardness.
“Speaking of beautiful men.” Cheyenne looked out at Easton running onto the field.
Ashley looked at me and rolled her eyes. She was also of the opinion that her dad needed to stay away from Cheyenne. Thankfully, Emmy was preoccupied talking to Abby’s daughter, Avery. I also noticed Maddie and Connor deep in discussion. I looked between them and Jessie. Jessie tried not to grimace. I gave her a reassuring glance.
It was then my turn to be reassured.
“Momma, I was wondering if I could watch the game with Spencer?”
“Who’s Spencer?”
She pointed to a handsome boy sitting on the Riley’s side. He boldly waved our way when we looked at him.
“When did you meet him?”
She bit her lip. “He plays for the football team and I met him during volleyball practice.” She kept looking his way like I wasn’t there.
“I suppose you can, but I think it would hurt your dad’s feelings if you sat on that side.”
Her face lit all up. “Oh, don’t worry, I already told him we would have to sit on this side.”
“Oh, okay.”
She didn’t hear me. She was already off to meet Spencer. They ended up sitting several rows behind us. I was going to have to force myself not to keep my eye on them. I put my arm around Emmy to make myself feel better. She snuggled in close, even though it was warm outside.
Taylor Lynne: The Women of Merryton - Book Two Page 19