I almost begged him not to. I had a feeling the sunlight would do more than give him some much needed vitamin D. He began to stir as soon as the sunlight entered the room. I looked at Easton, who made his way swiftly back to me.
“Frank,” Easton alerted him to our presence.
My heart was beating wildly out of control.
Frank battled to gain consciousness. It was painful to watch him struggle.
“Easton,” he strangled out. He was having a hard time opening his eyes.
I gripped Easton’s hand tighter and tighter.
He made circling motions with his free hand across my hand while frequently looking my way to, I’m sure, gauge my mental state.
“Frank, I brought someone to see you,” Easton said.
I silently exhaled and prayed for strength.
“Another specialist?” Frank murmured, while trying to focus.
“She is special,” Easton replied.
That gave Frank the energy he needed to open and focus his eyes. They seemed to hone in on me immediately. “Taylor,” he said, clear as day. His yellowed eyes welled up with tears. “You came,” he cried.
Easton wrapped his arm around me, as if to encourage me to reply.
“Yes,” I managed to say.
Frank tried to sit up. Easton went to his aid by moving the mechanical bed upright and then physically propping him up. Easton was gentle and treated him as if he was helping an old friend. I’m not sure if I had ever met anyone with better bedside manners than him; he was born to be a doctor.
“We better get a barber in here and spiff you up,” Easton teased him.
Frank tried to laugh, but it was strangled and painful.
Easton took his seat next to me again and took up my hand.
Frank noticed. “You are together again.”
I shook my head no while Easton said, “Not yet.”
Frank did his best to make his mouth move upward in a smile. The simplest tasks were monumental for him. “She’s worth the chase,” he coughed out.
Easton smiled at me. “Don’t I know it?”
I didn’t get a chance to respond before Frank spoke again. “This time don’t let her go.”
“I don’t plan on it,” Easton responded.
I think the men in the room forgot I had a say in this, but I didn’t argue or respond. Frank had no business giving anyone advice about anything, especially matters of the heart.
Annoyed, I removed my hand from Easton’s grip and placed it in my lap.
Easton’s brow crinkled, I assumed out of frustration or maybe even confusion, but he didn’t try and take it back.
Frank kept staring at me like he couldn’t believe I was there. I couldn’t believe I was there either.
“How are you, Taylor?” Frank had the courage to ask.
At the moment not so good, but … “I’m well.”
His face lit up like I had given him a treat by speaking to him. “Tell me how my granddaughter is?”
I couldn’t believe his audacity. I stiffened in my chair and contemplated throwing barbs his way. He had no business calling Ashley his granddaughter. From the corner of my eye I could see Easton watching me. He had to have known that didn’t sit well with me. But then I looked at the pathetic figure in front of me. I thought about Pastor Bates’ sermon earlier about the “least of these.” It was probably not my place to judge who the least was, but in my book, Frank qualified. I took a deep breath and thought about how God would want me to treat him. God, who loved him as much as He loved me. I had a hard time coming to terms with that fact, but I knew it was true.
“Ashley, is simply wonderful; bright, intelligent, and loving.”
“She also has a mean serve on the volleyball court, not to mention she likes to give her dad heart palpitations from all the guys that flock to her,” Easton added.
“Takes after … her … mother … I … see,” Frank responded out of breath.
I looked at Easton, concerned.
Easton stood up and attended to Frank. “I think you have had enough excitement for one day. Let’s lay you back down so you can rest.”
Frank struggled to move Easton out of the way with his arm, so that he could see me clearly. “Come back … please,” he whispered in a strangled voice.
I could see how agitated he was, so I nodded. He immediately relaxed.
Why I had agreed to come back?
Frank closed his eyes while Easton looked over the charts kept by his bedside. He also checked his pulse and adjusted his oxygen. Frank didn’t stir; it was as if he had passed out from the exertion.
When we exited, I once again focused on the click-clack of my high-heels. One foot in front of the other, I thought. That was how I was going to have to get through this.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“You’re quiet,” Easton said into the silence of his truck’s cab as he drove me home after our visit with Frank.
I didn’t respond. I kept my gaze out the passenger side window.
“I know how hard that was for you.”
I turned to him slowly. “Do you really? Do you know how hard any of this has been on me?”
He thought for a moment before unexpectedly pulling off the road and onto a little country road. He pulled over and parked on the deserted road before turning toward me. “I would, if you would let me in,” he pleaded.
“Why should I?”
He looked taken aback by the question, but he didn’t hesitate. “Because for the last several years, not a day has gone by when I didn’t think about how different my life would have been if I had gone after you. These past months, you’ve shown me what my life could have been if I hadn’t screwed it up,” he raised his voice. “And don’t tell me you haven’t thought about the same things. Don’t tell me you don’t wish we had worked it out.”
I tried to hold back the tears, but it wasn’t happening.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry from the depths of my soul, Taylor. Can you please forgive me—forgive us?” He reached over and caressed by damp cheek.
“You don’t know how much I want to.”
“We’ll work with that then,” he said through his own tears.
***
I had things to focus on other than the men in my life that week. Ashley was selected to be one of the Junior Homecoming Princesses so we had to find a dress. And Oktoberfest was that weekend, so I was busy in the evenings helping Jessie and several other parents in the PTA make foods I tell my clients to stay away from, like caramel apples and these decadent homemade s’mores Jessie came up with. I justified it by telling myself it was for a good cause.
Easton was giving me my space, not that we didn’t see each other every day, but he wasn’t trying to be physically affectionate, though I could tell he had to stop himself a few times. I appreciated the breathing room. And that he knew that’s what I needed.
In between finding the perfect dress, working, spending time with both of the girls, and making treats, I went to see Pastor Bates. I hoped he could give me some guidance on how this whole forgiveness thing worked, and if he thought it was wise to get involved with my ex-husband.
Pastor Bates seated me in his office, which was in an annex building close to the church. “So what would you like to talk about?” he asked casually, like he was talking to a friend and not a parishioner.
I wasn’t sure where to begin, so I blurted out, “How do you forgive someone that you feel doesn’t deserve your forgiveness? What if you’re afraid to forgive someone because it means opening your heart up to be hurt again?”
He looked thoughtfully at me. “I take it we are talking about two different people?”
“Actually, three,” I admitted.
“Forgiving oneself is always the hardest.”
He was good, like mind reader good. “Yes,” I whispered.
He smiled. “Why don’t we start with your father?”
“Frank,” I corrected.
“Okay, Frank.” He leane
d forward in his office chair. “Tell me about him.”
“Where do I begin?” I asked.
“How about from the beginning?”
I took a deep, brave breath and let it out. I let out all of the hurt, fear, and uncertainty. I recounted the emotional abuse he heaped on my mother and me. The cheating, and how he physically hurt my mother when she tried to protect me.
“Did he ever physically abuse you?” he asked.
“No.” I wiped my tears. “But because of me, he hurt my mother.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” he said simply.
“In my head I know that, but I’ll never forget that night. I’ll never forget that I left her alone with him. That I got a better life and she wouldn’t take it. No matter how horrible he was, she wouldn’t leave him.”
He handed me a tissue from the large box on his desk.
I used it up and grabbed a few more. “How do you forgive that?” I whimpered.
He looked up to the ceiling. “The only way I know is to turn it over to God.”
I looked at him wryly.
He grinned. “I know. It is easier said than done, but withholding your forgiveness is only hurting you. And forgiving Frank isn’t saying that what he did wasn’t wrong—it was. It’s saying that you have chosen the better part. Look at your life, look at how blessed you’ve been. Your mother gave you something she couldn’t give herself. She gave you a chance and you took it.”
“But I’ve made mistakes because of it.”
“We all make mistakes, but believe me when I tell you, you are a blessed woman. Not many women that grow up in the environment you did get to come out of it. You stopped the cycle of abuse. Count your blessings, Taylor.” Easton had basically said the same thing to me.
We talked for another good hour, but being more thankful for my life was what stuck with me as we parted. It made me realize I had been focusing too much on all that had gone wrong or what could still go wrong, instead of what had gone right or what good could come. He gave me a lot to think about. And he, too, was a fan of Easton. I knew he was trying to keep it neutral, but he had to throw all the good Easton had done in taking care of the medical needs for many of the less fortunate in the area into our conversation.
I went to bed that night and prayed for help to forgive. I also asked Him what He thought I should do about Easton. I wasn’t really expecting much. He had been quiet when I left Easton so many years ago, or at least I thought He had been. Maybe I was just a terrible listener.
***
Oktoberfest was upon us. I wasn’t sure why it was held on the last day of September, but since homecoming was the following weekend it worked out well for me. We still had to find the perfect shoes to go with the perfect pearl-pink dress.
Oktoberfest was held on Friday night in the town square. Booths lined the street where you could get anything from beer to German pretzels. There were face painting booths and carnival games for younger children and a dance in the middle of the square for the older kids and adults. That’s where Ashley was spending most of her time with Spencer. Emmy was with her dad playing games, while I was manning the PTA booth with Jessie, Abby, and occasionally Cheyenne. Cheyenne was usually dancing in the square or eating the merchandise, so she wasn’t much help.
“Looks like Ashley fits right in,” Jessie commented as we watched my girl dance.
“She really likes it here.”
“How does her mom like it?” Abby asked me.
“I’m …” I reminded myself to be positive, “finding it’s growing on me.”
“Really?” Jessie asked. She looked over to Easton and Emmy across the way. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with the good doctor, would it?” She nudged me.
I smiled and didn’t say anything, which both ladies took as confirmation. I wasn’t sure. I was certain I was still in love with him, but I wasn’t sure where we should go from here. I wasn’t sure if love could and should get us over the mountain we had created.
It looked like most of the town came out for the festivities. The PTA was doing killer business. I had a feeling we would be selling out of all the goodies we had made—I was both happy and disturbed by that fact. My clinical nutritionist side couldn’t help but count all of the bad carbs and refined sugar I was pushing on people.
Halfway through the evening, Easton dropped by. He was dressed for the cool evening in dark, fit-me-perfect jeans and a brown flannel shirt. The look worked for him and me. He had with him my favorite nine-year-old, who was looking happy to be with her dad. She was eating cotton candy and smiling a real smile. Her therapist was already helping her.
“Can Emmy hang out with you for a minute?” Easton asked. “I want to dance with Ashley.”
“Of course,” I smiled. I held my hand out to Emmy, who joined me on my side of the booth.
“You’re next,” he told Emmy as he walked off.
I watched him walk away and steal our daughter from Spencer. Ashley didn’t seem to mind at all; in fact, she looked like she was in heaven. Easton pulled her close and I could feel my eyes water. I did my best to keep my emotions under control. I turned to Emmy to help me out. “How was school today, darlin’? I asked her.
She smiled and showed off her blue teeth from the cotton candy. “Good. I got an A on my book report.”
“I’m not surprised at all.” I pulled her to me for a hug.
“Mm-mmm,” I heard Cheyenne say as she pointed toward Easton, who was twirling our daughter around. “I wouldn’t let that one go if I were you,” she said point blank.
Jessie and Abbie grinned at me and Emmy giggled.
It wasn’t too long before Easton came back for Emmy. He gave me a sultry smile before he walked away. It warmed me right up despite the cool night. I was so preoccupied watching Easton that I forgot I had a job to do.
“Taylor, Taylor, Taylor,” Jessie said louder.
I shook my head. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Do you have change for a twenty in your cash box?”
I looked down and quickly handed Jessie several singles and five-dollar bills. I went right back to watching how cute Emmy and Easton were. Emmy was standing on Easton’s feet. They looked absolutely adorable as they swayed back and forth together with their goofy grins.
“He’s a good daddy,” Abby said quietly by my side.
“Yes, he is.” I couldn’t keep my eyes off him.
When the song ended, I watched Easton leave Emmy with Ashley. It looked like he was giving them directions. When they broke apart, the girls headed for the DJ and Easton set his sights on me. He walked my way motioning with his finger to come join him.
The heat rose in my body—I felt like I needed to take off my jacket. I shook my head no, but that didn’t deter him. His smile grew more irresistible the closer he came. I felt a little panicked. I had a feeling we had become the center of attention. It was like his pathway was parted and made clear. He landed in front of the booth.
All business ceased—our customers were now staring at Easton.
Easton held out his hand to me. “Dance with me, Taylor?”
“Easton, I don’t—”
“She would love to,” Jessie said. All the ladies pushed me out of the booth toward him.
I suddenly had flashbacks of high school and my friends pushing me in the halls of school toward Gabe Rawlins, a boy I liked my junior year.
Easton didn’t miss a beat. He took my hand and led me to the center of the town square. Before he could pull me to him, the DJ said, “This special request goes out to a special couple. You know who you are.”
He drew me to him with every ounce of charm he had in him, and like a magnet, I crashed into him. He held me close as the song began, and tears streamed down my face as I immediately recognized the song—our song.
Easton sang off-key in my ear the title of our song, “Let’s Stay Together.”
I loved it as much as I used to in our small, dingy kitchen. I looked up into his eyes and I coul
d have sworn I was transported back twenty years. I felt that electricity and tingling running through my body. He kept singing all the words while I stared at his handsome face. We swayed perfectly in time, like the last fourteen years hadn’t happened. For a moment, I forgot that we had ever been apart.
He reached up and wiped the tears off my cheeks. “Taylor,” he said in hushed tones.
“Yes?”
“Please let’s—” His phone started vibrating out of control in his pocket. “Dang it. Hold on.”
He pulled out his phone while keeping me close. He read the message and groaned. “I have to go, it’s an emergency,” he said with regret. “Can you take Emmy home with you? I could be a while. I’m sorry.”
“No problem,” I stuttered. I still felt lightheaded.
His warm lips landed on my forehead and lingered until he reluctantly released me. “I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” With that he walked away from me.
I was left standing in the middle of the dance floor, very aware that I was garnering a lot of attention. I ran my fingers through my curled hair and made my way back to the booth.
“Momma,” I heard my name called.
I turned to find both girls coming my way and took them both up into my arms. “Your dad had an emergency call, so you’re both stuck with me tonight.”
“I told you Dad loved you,” Ashley whispered in my ear.
Chapter Thirty
As I lay in bed that night, I felt more and more like a teenager. I kept replaying everything in my head; from the way Easton touched me, to how the ladies in the booth all oohed and ahhed at me when I returned, except for Cheyenne, who looked defeated. I almost felt bad for her. The town had definitely been buzzing, and unfortunately, Landon and Veronica were front and center to witness it all. I saw Veronica on her phone and had a feeling she was calling Kathryn to report the night’s events. She kept covertly glancing at me while on the phone, and before she left she made it a point to stop by the booth. “Well, aren’t you all the picture of domestic bliss,” she hissed, glaring at me.
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