“Dogs aren’t allowed in a mall,” he grumbled. “What the heck is it doing in here?”
“She’s a future guide dog, which you could use,” I told him. “And at least she’s in the ladies room. What the heck are you doing here?”
“Mistake,” he said, and fumbled behind himself for the door handle. I could help him, but a crud like that—even a good looking crud—deserved to struggle.
Alicia forced herself around me. “Here, let me,” she offered, and pulled open the door.
Turned out the older lady I’d seen him with was rushing toward us to rescue him from his mistake. “Kyle, you headed right instead of left like I told you.”
Kyle grumbled at her, too, but we didn’t stay to hear it all.
Alicia gave me a look as we headed to the bus stop.
“What?” I squawked at her. “Good girl, Beauty. Let me unwrap that for you and you can chew it on the bus.”
Alicia shook her head. “If you were only as patient with humans as you are with people, you could have tons of boyfriends.”
“What kind of guy doesn’t like dogs?”
Beauty lay down innocently, her massive paws pinning down the bone as she sank her teeth into it.
“One that got boofed by a huge Lab when he didn’t expect it,” Alicia answered. “He can’t see, remember? He had no idea what was hitting him.”
“Uh-huh. Beauty, give that back for a sec. The bus is here.”
We climbed up the steps of the bus much faster than we had on the way to the mall. Beauty walked to our seat and settled perfectly, head up expectantly for her treat. I gave it back to her and she chewed, noisily but happily, all the way home. At the bell signal for our stop, she woofed; but that was OK, she stopped immediately.
“Go, Beauty,” I told her and she walked ahead normally, down the steps, through the door. A perfect, perfect dog. That Kyle guy was a stupid wuss.
Just as Beauty made the final jump from the last step to the sidewalk, a noise pierced my ears—sudden and awful, like an angry machine gun shooting holes in cement. I could almost see the ground shake, too. A man had started up his jackhammer.
Beauty leapt up and struggled, yelping as though one of the machine-gun bullets had hit her. Then she broke away, dragging her leash behind her.
“Alicia! Oh, my god, I have to catch her.”
I flew after Beauty, not waiting for Alicia to answer. Where the heck did Beauty think she was going? I caught up to her in a flash, just as the bus pulled away, making even louder sishes. I threw myself at the handle of her leash. Missed. Beauty, wild-eyed and confused, dashed into the street, right in front of the bus.
Kyle
The Drive
“Hey, man. Saw you at the mall with the older woman. Come sit down at my table and tell me all about it,” Ryan said at Monday lunch break.
“Aw, geez. It was a mistake. Honest, Ryan, how old was she?"
“’Bout as old as my mom.”
“Just shoot me, please,” I groaned.
“Kidding, kidding. She wasn’t too old for me. Mind you, I like my women experienced.” Ryan nudged me. “And I like my women young.” He whistled low. “Over near the trays in the cafeteria line. Check out that niner.”
“Think about it, Ryan. It’s not as if I can really do that.” I sighed. “Let’s face it, you like your women any way you can get them.”
“Got that right. But you know, that older chick, she wasn’t bad. Who was she?”
I broke down and explained how Amber was my O & M instructor. I told him how my last-ditch effort to make Maddie jealous had backfired. And how, to top it all off, when I thought I had the whole mall memorized and insisted I could go to the can by myself, I ended up in the girls’ room.
“Ah, you know, you got this whole independence thing wrong. Chicks like looking after guys. Fact is you’re a chick magnet. What are you doing this weekend?”
“I don’t know—catching up on math if my mother has time to help me.”
“Ouch, no, man! Come to my party. In fact, I gotta make a beer run. Let’s go now. You can be a big help.”
I heard his chair scrape back and wondered if I should head off with him. Who knew where he might leave me this time? I stood up.
“Hey, Maddie,” I heard him call. “Wanna come to my party this weekend? Kyle really needs you to get him there.”
I wanted to plow Ryan one, but then I smelled tangerine Sunrise and fought myself not to light up like a computer screen. He couldn’t be right, could he? She wouldn’t want to come just to help me around.
Maddie spoke to me directly. “You’re not going to Ryan’s party. It’ll just be a drunken orgy. What fun could you possibly have?”
I grinned. “You make it sound so good.”
“Don’t be an idiot. With your diabetes, you can’t drink anyway.”
“Oh, no? Put a bottle in my hand and watch me.”
“No, thank you!”
“I’m not dead yet, Maddie. I know you think my life is worthless. But you’re wrong. I’m going to have the time of my life at Ryan’s.”
I waited for a bit. Had she left? I couldn’t smell tangerine.
“Never mind her,” Ryan told me as he grabbed my elbow. “We have a date with the beer store.” He jingled his keys all the way to the parking lot. “Get in, get in, it’s unlocked.”
I fumbled for the door handle and pulled. Then I slid in.
Ryan started the engine and we drove away. “My dad’s car. Two thousand two Mustang convertible. Says he’ll give it to me as a graduation present.”
“You’re so lucky. I’d give anything to be able to drive, never mind get a Mustang just for passing.”
“Anything? Damn, think I forgot my wallet. Here, take the steering wheel a sec while I check.”
“What? Are you crazy?” I groped for the wheel and held it steady for a moment.
“Nope. Got it. Thanks.” Ryan took the wheel again. “You’d give anything to drive, eh? Well, then, do I have a deal for you. I’ll get carded if I try to buy a two-four. You with your Stevie Wonder act—I figure you can con someone into buying it for you.”
“No way.”
“No? Here I thought I’d take you to the church parking lot, put the top down, hand you the keys… ”
“Me drive your Mustang? I swear you’re certifiable!” I paused. It occurred to me that the beauty of Ryan was that he just had no clue about anything, let alone what I could or couldn’t do. “Fine, I’ll try to get you your beer. But only for ten minutes. If no one comes or agrees, you’ve gotta let me drive anyway.”
“OK, bro.” He turned into a parking lot and stopped the car. “I’ll take you to the door and then you just wait for your mark…. ”
“But I can’t see when someone approaches me!”
“Right, right. I’ll stand over to the side and whistle, like this.” Ryan made a warbling sound. Like a cardinal.
“It’s not going to work,” I grumbled.
Ryan just jingled his keys.
I shook my head. How stupid did I feel standing there, white cane in hand? The white cane, of course, being Ryan’s idea. I might as well have held out a tin cup and begged for the beer money, too. And I’d worried about walking the mall on a Friday night with my O & M lady. What if the wrong person came by today—say a teacher, or the principal? It seemed like hours went by before Ryan finally whistled.
“Excuse me,” I started. Was it a man or a lady in front of me? “I need a case of twenty-four beers. I have the money, it’s just I can’t see and it’s so hard for me to—”
“What brand?” a lady’s voice asked.
I thought quickly about what kind Dad always drank and just asked her for that. “Here’s the money, ma’am. Thank you so much.” After she took the bill from my hand, I half hoped she’d just take off with it. That would teach Ryan about milking a handicap like that. But no, after a while she handed me the change and helped me tuck my fingers around the handles of the box.
/> “You sure you don’t need help getting that somewhere?” she asked.
“That’s OK. I’m expecting a ride any minute. Thanks again.” I felt guilty and angry. Why did the lady have to sound so sorry for me?
“Here, let me take that for you,” Ryan said to me.
“Don’t even say a word. That was humiliating,” I told him as he dragged me back to the Mustang.
“Oh, man, if you only knew. That chick was such a babe!” Ryan told me.
“Really?”
“Uh-huh. And now you are in for the ride of a lifetime.”
After a short drive the car stopped and we switched places.
“Just unlatch that hook on the top of your windshield, Kyle.”
What stupid hook? I thought as I felt around. I finally found a handle. “This one?”
“Yeah, just give it a yank.”
I pulled at the handle.
“Great!”
I heard a soft buzz and then felt cold air rushing all around me. I couldn’t help smiling. I heard a fizzy bubbling. “Aw, Ryan, you’re not having one now….”
“Hey, I’m drinking, you’re driving. The gas is on the right, brake’s on the left.”
I put my foot on the left pedal.
“The engine’s still running. Let me just get the hand brake. OK. Put your hand on the gear, slide it back one notch, perfect. Release the brake, and you’re motoring.”
More cold air rushed past my face, whistled past my ears. I must have been driving less than ten miles an hour, but with the windchill factor, it felt faster. Not quite like surfing in Waikiki, but still wonderful.
“Turn right…and right again. Whoa, whoa, easy, stop. There’s a squirrel in front of you.”
I pounded my foot down on the brake and felt myself thrown forward.
“Great, great.” Ryan chuckled. “You’re better than my sister. Next time you’ll parallel park.”
CHAPTER 7
Elizabeth and Beauty
Depressed
The bus stopped within a whisker’s length of Beauty, so she came out of her close call without a scratch.
At least on the outside. On the inside, Beauty was a wreck. I slammed the door behind us when we got home and she jumped like she was dodging a bomb. Mom clattered pots as she emptied the dishwasher and Beauty ducked into her crate.
I wanted to tell Mom what had happened to Beauty, but she was muttering as she dumped cutlery into the drawer. “Diapers, formula, no sleep at night, I’m not going through that again.” She slammed the drawer and Beauty yelped.
“What is wrong with that dog?” she yelled.
I wasn’t going to talk to her while she was in that mood. “C’mon, girl.” I snapped my fingers at Beauty and she winced, shrinking into a corner of her crate. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. You don’t want to spend the whole evening there all by yourself, do you?” Finally she slunk out of the crate and followed me up the stairs.
I stopped outside Debra’s door when I heard crying. Beauty’s ears lifted and she turned her head toward me as though asking what we should do. I shrugged my shoulders and pushed the door open.
“Deb, I bought you something.” I held out the babyGap bag and Deb looked up from her pillow. She wiped her eyes and sniffed as she took the bag.
“What is it?” She peered in. Slowly, slowly I saw her lips and cheeks lift. It was like watching the sun rise on someone’s face. She took out the sleeper and tears streamed down from her eyes again. “Oh, my gosh, Liz. It’s beautiful. You’re the only one who understands. I love you.” Deb grabbed me by the shoulders and hugged me.
Understand—who me? I felt guilty for a moment. Alicia had suggested shopping for baby clothes. She was the real girl, the one who understood boys and makeup and babies and, in this case, my sister. But I felt Debra’s shoulders shake above mine and I tried to imagine a feeling for her baby, mentally picturing a puppy in a yellow sleeper. No matter what, I thought, at least I can always try to understand.
“Mom says I don’t know what it’s like to raise a child. That there are plenty of couples out there who could do a much better job of raising and loving my baby.”
“No! She wants you to give it up?” It was exactly what Mom always made me do with my dogs. How could she expect that of Debra? I started crying now too.
I’d wanted to keep the outfit in my room until the baby was born, but I could see that Debra needed it more. Eventually, Deb actually fell asleep clutching it so I sent Beauty to her crate and went to bed myself.
Next morning, when I got up and headed for the kitchen, I found Mom already sitting at the table, writing longhand on a yellow pad of paper. As I stepped in, she ripped off the sheet she’d been working on and crumpled it into a large, flower-like ball. She pitched it behind her and it tumbled to join a garden of other yellow flower balls.
“Already it’s started. I can’t work.” She looked up at me. “I’m trying to write the last two sonnets for the CBC contest. But they should be on the same theme as the other six. And I can’t get back to that headspace.”
She sounded so much like Debra when she talked like that. I picked up one of the flowers, uncrumpled it, and read something about dying leaves, sorrow, darkness and death. Kind of grim. Probably a good thing that she couldn’t get into that kind of headspace, if you asked me.
If Beauty could write poetry, though, I thought, she could continue in Mom’s theme. She was still so depressed. I looked toward her crate. “Beauty? Don’t you even want to go outside, girl?” She got up slowly and came to me, looking at me accusingly. I gave her a treat, but she sniffed first and ate it slowly. “Come on. There are no jackhammers in the backyard.” We went out through the patio door.
The sun shone bright white outside. It was a fall morning that glowed, it was so perfect. I threw the stick for Beauty a few times and finally, by the third time, she actually wagged her tail as she returned with it. Good, she’d snapped out of it.
“Business, Beauty,” I told her—the command for her to go to the bathroom. After she squatted I took her back into the house, confident she would be OK again. But instead of following me, she headed straight to her crate. Still not over last night.
That’s when I noticed Deb sitting in the family room, reading the Saturday newspaper. What was she reading? I joined her in the family room to grab the comics and saw her circling apartment ads in the classifieds. Great, I thought. Just when I thought I had my big sister back; no Rolph. What was the point of imagining and bonding with the crying creature in a yellow sleeper? I was going to lose it all.
Breakfast started the fighting all over again, too. Mom insisted that Deb eat dairy and eggs. “If you want to have this baby, you can start making sacrifices.”
Dad backed Mom up. “You can’t experiment with nutrition now, Debra. Your baby’s health is at stake.”
“Fine.” Debra shoveled some scrambled eggs into her mouth. “Can I borrow the car today? I need to check out some apartments.”
“What?” Dad looked at Mom and then back to Deb. “You can’t leave. At least not for the first year. Tell her.” He looked at Mom again. “It’s too hard.”
“But there’s no room here!” Deb said. Her voice was just loud enough to start Beauty cowering in her cage. She whined softly.
“We’ll build out the basement.”
Mom gave Dad a sour look.
“We’ll take out a renovations loan.” He spoke to Mom now. “You’ve always wanted your own space. You can turn Deb’s old room into an office.”
“I’ve always wanted time for myself. And now, finally, for the first time in my life when I have it, this happens.” Mom flung up her hands.
Debra tapped her chest with her index finger. “But it’s my baby, my responsibility. You won’t have to look after it.”
“Oh, really? I’m already going to your doctor appointments. You have an ultrasound on Monday. I’ll have to get someone to cover my classes.”
“Don’t!” Debra sai
d. “I don’t want you there.” Then she stomped up the stairs back to her bedroom. Beauty began whimpering.
“What is wrong with that dog?” Mom asked.
I shrugged my shoulders. “Shh, shh, girl, it’s all right. Come and eat.” I grabbed the Dog Chow bag from the cupboard, shook it and poured some into her bowl—the regular drill. Still she wouldn’t come. So I held out a bit of Deb’s eggs to coax her out of the crate.
“She’s been moping like that all morning,” Mom told me as she watched.
“Yeah, well. Maybe all the fighting is getting to her,” I said.
“All families argue. Blind ones too. She should be used to it by now. Maybe you should call Canine Vision.”
“No!”
Mom raised an eyebrow at me.
I sighed. “OK, OK. Beauty got spooked by a jackhammer when we got off the bus last night. But she’ll get over it. She just needs a little time.”
Beauty picked over her food, looking for bits of egg. When she couldn’t find any more, she gave Mom a white-eyed look and then backed into her crate again.
Her tail flip-flopped just a little inside her cage when the door bell rang, and she raised herself up halfway.
I answered the door. “Gwen?” I said, stunned.
“I’m sorry, I should have called, but Scott said you wouldn’t mind. I brought Camel on a Skateboard for your sister to autograph.”
Hmm, she might be the right person to cheer Debra up. “Step inside. I’ll go upstairs and get her.”
Beauty didn’t follow behind me, and that was so weird, like losing my shadow. I knocked on Debra’s door and then called “Deb? A fan here to see you.”
“What?” I could hear pleasure in her voice. It was as though I had told Mom some student had called to say he’d loved her poems. The door opened.
“Scott’s girlfriend is waiting in the family room. She wants you to autograph her copy of your book.”
“All right.” Deb winked at me. “I’ll check her out for you.”
I grinned. Deb always knew how to be a good big sister. And I wanted to do something back. “Listen, Deb, if you want company, I’ll go with you to that ultrasound Monday.”
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