I dreaded the event. Every year seemed to be worse than the last, except that one. The second I saw him slump through the door, hands fisted in his jeans pockets, clearly not where he wanted to be, my eyes lit up like fireworks and my heart thumped wildly in my chest. It was a feeling I hadn’t recognised before, and when his eyes met mine for the briefest of seconds, I knew right there and then that he was the one. He looked rough, like he was ready to fight someone if they so much as spared a glance his way. His dark brown hair was ruffled to one side and his eyes held a daring sparkle to them. I knew he was trouble, even back then, and I had never been more excited. But that was all just a fairytale I’d made up in my head because I never saw that brown-eyed boy again. Not until a few years later. On my first day at college, to be precise. Yes, my first day at Winslow Falls was one I could never forget, even if I had wanted to. It was when I got my the third of my four life lessons which would stay with me forever. Yeah, I know. Foolish, right? You would’ve thought that I’d had at least learned my lesson the first time. I should’ve had that shit down. But I had my reasons. And that boy was one of them.
Taylor Lawson.
The one that made my heart spring to life again when I was sure it was no longer functioning. The one I hoped would erase the heartbreak Shawn and Aubrie had created and make me feel something again. Taylor Lawson wasn’t worthy of my love, though. He wanted something from me that would never be enough. And I wanted from him what he could never give me: his heart. That sense of belonging… I had wanted him to need me so badly that I became so caught up in a fantasy that wasn’t real. It was a stupid notion that had been diminished last year when my actions almost destroyed his heart, and at the same time, sealed my fate in our town forever.
I wasn’t all to blame, though. Taylor had used me, just like Shawn said he would. Like he said all men would. When I’d mentioned Taylor to Shawn, he’d seemed worried and tried to warn me off the boy that I couldn’t stop thinking about. I didn’t get why Shawn was telling me those things at the time. I’d barely even noticed boys back then. I wasn’t even aware that Shawn knew Taylor, but he seemed to dislike him all the same. “Kid, don’t fool yourself into believing he can be different. When he tells you you’re beautiful, it’s not because he means it. Not really. And if he tells you he loves you, run. He will only ever love the idea of what you can give him. You deserve more. You are worth more. Don't ever settle for anything less than what your heart wants.” Words he continued to remind of long before he left for the army, and again, once he returned.
Even out of it, Shawn talked sense.
He had been right, though. If I had a pound for every time a guy had declared their love for me or told me how special I was, I would be as rich as my parents. But it wasn't love they felt. Nor was it attraction. It was need. A need they could and would get from any other girl.
There was one other guy that came just as close. One who I thought could actually be capable of caring for me the way I needed him to. One I considered changing the way I saw the world for. The one who wore his heart on his sleeve and saw the good in everyone—in me. One I had convinced myself was different from all the others until he proved to me that there really wasn’t a single person in the world that could be trusted, even if your heart wanted to feel differently.
I wasn’t sure why I had expected anything else. They were brothers, after all. Their father, a prime example of what loving someone can do to you. Lies, deceit, everything that was wrong in the world, these men shared. And I had experienced first-hand what these men were capable of doing to a girl.
I sighed and glanced around the room, taking in the faded, navy blue walls that surrounded me. The concert posters that took up most of one wall had seen better days. The torn edges had been lovingly taped together at least twice. The PlayStation still sat in the exact spot, unused for years but that hadn’t stopped Mum from dusting it. The chip on the door made me smile, and memories that had long since been forgotten came flooding back to me.
“Wait for me,” I yelled, my thumb eagerly tapping away on the black button to make it go faster. As I jumped from hilltop to hilltop, my hands jerked from left to right, up and down, I manoeuvred the little red mushroom across the screen. But still, Mario raced ahead of me.
I blew out a frustrated breath as I, once again, pushed down on the black button. I was too late. My mushroom dived into the deep, black hole as Mario continued on his merry way.
With no lives left, I sighed and let my shoulders relax in defeat.
Shawn shook his head and laughed. “Every time.”
“You cheat.”
“Admit it… I’m the best.” He grinned.
“Never!” I yelled even louder. I felt tears brimming my eyelids and fought to hold them back. I didn’t want him to see me cry. He’d think I was a baby and wasn’t. I was bigger now.
“I told you you couldn’t keep up with me. I don’t know why you continue to try. Why don’t you go find that annoying friend of yours and play Darby and Ben?” he goaded.
“It’s Barbie and Ken, loser, and anyway, I don’t even play with them anymore.” I huffed.
“Baby.”
“Am not!” I shouted. My arms flew out to the side in frustration, and just as they did, so did the controller. It flew from my grasp before I could even blink and landed against the bedroom door with a loud thud.
“Shit!” Shawn swore. “Look what you’ve done now.”
Shawn jumped from the bed and knelt down on the floor, examining the black controller that was now in pieces before him.
I was going to be in so much trouble. I knew it. Even if Shawn wouldn't tell Mum—which he would—Alice, the old lady who sometimes came to clean the house and cook us tea most definitely would.
My bottom lip trembled, and this time the tears did flow. I couldn’t stop them.
“What in God’s name is going on in here?” Mum asked as she came barrelling through the door, nearly hitting Shawn as it swung wide open.
“I’m sorry, I…” I stammered.
“What happened to this door?” She gasped, looking between the door and where Shawn was knelt holding pieces of the controller.
Shawn and I exchanged glances, our eyes slowly moving to the dent in the freshly painted door, having not noticed it before.
Shawn lifted a hand and scratched the back of his neck. “Eh… yeah, sorry. That was my fault, Mum. I got a little too excited. Lost my grip of the controller.”
My mouth fell open in shock and admiration. He had stuck up for me. He had never done that before. Not ever. He usually blamed me for the things I didn’t even do. Now he was taking the blame for me.
“Okay, well, don’t mention this to your father. He won’t think twice about taking that console back.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Shawn said.
And that was that. It was the first of the many times that my brother took the flack for me. That was the day I became more than just Shawn’s annoying sister. I became his friend. His best friend.
“Get out.”
I had been so lost in my own thoughts that I hadn’t realised that I was no longer alone.
I shuffled to a seated position and scrambled from the warmth of the bed. “Mum, I was just…”
“Out,” she repeated in an even tone that forced me to shrink back into my own skin. Her hair was rustled into a heap on the top of her head, and she was still wearing her ivory nightdress. Her eyes were darkly rimmed as though she hadn't slept.
“I’m so sorry, I was…”
“I said get out. I’ve told you before about coming into this room. You are not to come into this room ever again, do you hear me? It’s not yours,” she rushed out and hurried to the bed I’d fallen asleep in last night.
I hadn’t meant to fall asleep in there. I hadn’t even planned on coming back to the house at all, but after seeing Jake again I… well, I guess I just needed the warmth I had felt as I crawled onto the double bed, shuffled under the dark blue covers an
d pulled them up to my chin. I only ever felt calm here. In this room.
Shawn’s room.
I backed up into the doorway as I watched Mum hurry to straighten up the blankets, smoothing them out flat. She didn’t even look my way. Not even after she’d finished making the bed appear as though it had never been slept in. She just stood there, still as the night, gazing down at nothing with that same vacant, lost look in her eyes that reminded me of my brother’s last days.
I frowned, much like I always did, and left to go and get ready for work. We had a big delivery due in that I needed to take care of, and I wanted to finish the dress I had been working on before I went to work.
6
When Mum had called that morning to say she was on her way home and asked if we could meet up, I’d agreed. I guessed Taylor had told her I was finally back. I’d known it wouldn’t take long before she learned of my return, so it wasn’t really that much of a surprise. What I hadn’t banked on, though, was being dragged through store after store, my hands and arms loaded up with more shopping bags than I cared to hold. I tried to make excuses to leave, saying I had stuff to do, but one look at the disappointment on her face and I was following right after her, being blackmailed by my own mother, and I was allowing her to do it because the other option would only leave me feeling guilty. And that was worse.
“Ooh,” Mum cooed as she stopped at yet another shop entrance. “Lillie has set up the new line. We’ll just have a quick browse.” She beamed, her eyes lighting up as she walked a few feet ahead.
“Really?” I asked incredulously as I glared down at the ever-growing pile of bags. When I got no response, I looked up to see that I’d spoken too late. Mum hadn’t heard me because she was already inside the shop, her eyes firmly on the prize. I groaned but followed her anyway.
Sweat lined my forehead and, as if sensing my struggle, the air con kicked in and began to fill the small space around me, brushing my skin with a cold chill I hadn’t realised I needed until then.
Football season was over and the first glimpse of summer was settling upon the small town of Winslow. Unlike the day before, now there was no sign of rain. The sky was as blue as the ocean and as calm as a sleeping baby. Normally, I would embrace the heat with a cold beer by the pool. But there I was, sweating like a pig, carrier bags digging into my flesh as I trudged from one store to the next.
I breathed in the cold blast of air that assaulted my face and reminded myself why I was there. For my mother.
“Jake?” a cheery voice I didn’t recognise called out.
I turned my head to the side, much like an owl would. “Oh, hey, Leanne.” I grinned. “How’re tricks?”
“Oh, you know,” she cooed flirtatiously, swirling a loose strand of hair around her finger. “Same old, really. How about you? Heard you were back in town.”
“Yeah? News travels fast,” I pointed out
“Did you expect anything less? I mean, this is Winslow, after all. Not much gets past anyone,” she said.
“You’re telling me,” I grumbled as I searched behind me for Mum.
Leanne followed my eyes and curled her hand around my arm. “Stay right here,” she whispered as she gave it a squeeze.
I nodded indifferently, my eyes following her as she walked towards the back of the store and through a door that must have led to the storeroom.
Leanne and I went to college together. She’d followed me around during our first year and I’d had to let her down gently. Back then I wasn’t interested in girls—not anything serious at least—and there hadn’t been many girls who were interested in anything less than that. I’d focused my attention on college and football, everything that had always been important to me.
A few minutes later, Leanne came back. Her blonde hair, now pulled out from the clip that had previously held it in place, cascaded down her back in soft waves. She stalked towards me with a look I knew all too well and said, “I’ve got the rest of the afternoon off. You should take me to lunch. The rooftop terrace at Gerrard’s is stunning in this weather.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t. Maybe some other time, though.”
“Don’t be silly,” she giggled. “Of course you can.”
I took a step back and shook my head dismissively. “I can’t, Lea. I’ve promised Mum my undivided attention today. What with me being away so often, she’s missed me,” I added, hoping that would be enough of an excuse.
“Oh.” Her pink glossy lips puckered into a pout and I mentally rolled my eyes.
Leanne glanced behind me with a smile that lit up her eyes, “Oh, hey, Mrs. Knight.”
“Leanne.” Mum smiled. “How is Lillie? I haven’t seen her around in a while. I hope she’s well.”
“She’s fine, thank you. She’s been stuck in design mode, leaving me to run the store and expand my fashion knowledge.”
“I can see that. The store is looking wonderful.”
“Thank you.” Leanne beamed. “It’s hard work but I’m really enjoying it.”
“I’m sure it is, dear. So, will we be seeing your name over the door soon?” Mum asked. She was fishing for gossip.
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Leanne giggled in response.
I stifled a yawn as the two women in front of me began to fawn all over the latest fashion accessories. I had no clue what they were saying, nor did I care. I should have drawn the line at lunch.
“Jake?”
“Huh?” My head whipped back to Mum, then to Leanne.
“I was just telling your mum that we should meet for lunch soon. When you’re not busy, that is.” Leanne shot me a knowing look. I knew what she was doing and, judging by the frown that lined Mum’s forehead, I knew what was coming, too.
“He’s not busy now, are you Jake?” she said, eyeing me with a grin.
“Eh…”
“Go on,” she urged. “Go and have some fun. I’m sure I can handle a few shopping bags.”
“Are you sure? I mean, I said I would—”
“Of course. Go. It’s about time you went out and enjoyed yourself.” Mum turned to Leanne, whose eyes were wide with excitement. “He’s always so serious. I’ve told him he needs to loosen up and enjoy life while he can.”
Leanne giggled, her cheeks blushing as she tipped her head in line with mine.
Great. There was no way of getting out of it.
Just as I fumbled over excuses, the bell rang from behind. As if on cue, all three of us turned to see who had entered the store.
Mum hissed her disapproval as Melanie burst through the door, her hair whipping behind her like a tornado. Her movements slowed as she caught sight of us staring at her. Her eyes widened.
“You’re late,” Leanne scolded and stretched out a hand that held a set of keys that I was guessing were to the till. “Make sure you cash up before you leave. And don’t forget to set the alarm this time.” She dropped the keys in Mel’s unsure hand.
“You’re leaving?” Melanie blurted out then instantly clamped her mouth shut.
“Yes. Is that okay with you?” Leanne’s brows rose in challenge. Part of me felt sorry for Mel… for a split second, anyway.
“Eh… Yeah… I guess,” she stuttered, tucking her wayward hair behind her ear.
Leanne nodded and gripped my arm, pulling me close. “Good. Jake here is taking me out. If you need anything, don’t call me. Mum’s away all week, but Jennifer is on standby should you need her. No doubt she'll be expecting your call.”
Melanie appeared confused as she glanced between the two of us. She wasn’t alone. I was confused as hell, wondering how the fuck I’d been roped into this. Melanie clearly wasn’t happy at being left alone to run the store and it was obvious that Leanne was trying to get a reaction out of her. But I knew Melanie well. She wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of letting her know she was getting to her.
Melanie shook her head and nodded once, causing her hair to slip over one eye again. “Okay, sure. Have fun the both of you.” She smile
d a smile that was clearly forced and made her way to the storeroom at the back.
“Umm… are you sure you should leave? We could always rearrange—”
Leanne squeezed my arm. “Don’t be silly. She’ll be fine. Besides, it’s about time she pulled her weight,” she said as she rolled her eyes. “I swear, it's hell trying to get the right staff these days. I’ve told Lillie numerous times to get rid of her, what with her being a liability and all, but does she listen?”
Shit. This chick had issues. And what was with her calling her Lillie? Hell, I couldn't imagine my parents ever insisting I call them by their first names.
“I guess, if you're sure…” I forced myself to say.
“Of course. Let's go.”
I nodded and handed Mum the bags, casting a glance over to the back of the store where Melanie had gone. Leanne tugged on my arm, forcing me to move with her. All the while my eyes were glued to the door that Melanie had just gone through. I was unable to look away. Eventually Melanie reappeared, her eyes meeting mine briefly before she smiled flatly. I narrowed my eyes at that and continued to let Leanne drag me out of the store.
7
She knew. She knew and she was trying to get back at me for taking Tony away from her. Well, she could try all she wanted because it wasn’t going to work. There wasn’t anything between Jake and me. There never really had been. We’d had a moment. A beautiful moment while it lasted. But that was a long time ago. I didn’t care anymore. Not even a little bit. So, if she thought she was making me jealous by throwing herself at him then she was dead wrong. Besides, I knew Jake, and he wasn’t the slightest bit interested in her.
Was he?
He definitely didn’t look like someone who was interested.
Or was that all for show?
Gah… I wouldn’t let myself think about it. I had no feelings for Jake, so why should I care that he and Leanne were out on a date? No, I wasn’t going to think about it.
Oh, who was I trying to kid?
A Different Game: A Wrong Game Novel Page 4