by Helen Vera
“Whoa. Taylor Swift?”
“Yep. It says here that she has her eyes set on him which is total bullshit. I know for a fact that she has a secret boyfriend.” Sue jokes.
“Interesting.” Is all I can say. My mind is still haunted by Andrew and that missing bullet.
“Vivian, you seem like you’re a million miles away. Is everything okay?” She asks in concern.
“Not really.”
“Did Jax do something to hurt you? If he did, then please tell me so I can go over to his house right now and give him a piece of my mind.” Sue looks adorable when she’s angry. She reminds me of Strawberry Shortcake, the cartoon character, not the dessert.
“Relax Sue, This is not about Jax.”
Sue eyes me suspiciously. “Are you sure? Because I can tell that you’re already in love with him. Your googly eyes give you away.”
“My eyes are not googly.” I kick her with my foot.
“Every time I mention his name, you start to drool like a lovesick puppy.”
“Fine! I love him. So what?”
“Are you in love with him or his bad boy persona? There’s a big difference.” She points out.
“I love him because he cares. You should see the way he acts around Lucy. Bad boy or not, I honestly don’t care. Jax makes me feel safe and cherished. He’s twice the man Andrew was.”
“Okay. I believe you. Jeez. You almost bit my head off.”
“Sorry. I just wish the two of you would get along.” I pout.
“Alright! What the hell. Tell him I’ll have dinner with him sometime next week.”
“Really?”
I can’t help but smile. My best friend is finally ready to give Jax a chance.
“So now that we got this out of the way, what else is on your mind? I can see the wheels spinning all the way from here.” She asks. “Is it Andrew?”
“Yes.”
Sue sighs and hugs one of my pink throw pillows to her chest. “Do you remember that fateful day we met him?”
“Yeah. I do. He literally ran into me on his way to ethics class. My books fell to the floor and he bent down and picked them up like a perfect gentleman. I remember you getting angry on my behalf. He was always intimidated by you.”
“Everyone at Alpha Phi Delta was intimidated by me. Those frat boys were a bunch of knuckleheads. I once convinced a group of them that the earth was flat and they believed me!” She chuckles.
“Yeah. I also remember you wearing that ugly Scream mask with the creepy black robes and running around campus scaring fraternity boys.”
“Those were the best times to be honest.”
“Yeah. I miss hanging out on campus and studying at the library. Funnily enough, that’s where I ran into Andrew the second time. He was so sweet and thoughtful back then. We hit it off almost instantly. My parents were thrilled when I brought him home during Christmas break. They loved that he was a decent young man who wanted to uphold the law.”
“Yeah, he had us all fooled with his sweet, wholesome, all American boy act.”
I nod and take a sip of tea. “You have no idea how hard it was to watch the man I married transform into a selfish jerk. He started cheating on me a few months into our marriage. He once showed up drunk and crying, blaming some college girl for seducing him. Back then, I was too naive and forgiving. Andrew asked for my forgiveness and I gave it to him on a silver platter.” Silence fills the room for a few seconds. I take a deep, calming breath and tell Sue all about the safe and the money I found inside.
She then follows me to the spare bedroom where I show her the construction papers. Being an interior designer, she knows a thing or two about building approvals.
“Shit. None of this stuff is approved. In fact, these are all in violation of the state’s building code. Construction should have been halted ages ago.”
“Yeah. I wonder what part Andrew played in this.”
“Me too.” Sue chimes. “Honestly Vivian, why did you stay with him all these years? You should have ditched his ass the moment you found out he was cheating on you.”
“Oh trust me, I wanted to leave, but then I found out that I was pregnant with Lucy. Andrew took me out to dinner in celebration. We were happy for a while, but it all took a turn for the worse after she was born. He started drinking again and coming home in the middle of the night completely wasted. He wanted nothing to do with Lucy. I suddenly felt like I was sharing our place with a roommate, not a husband.”
“What a nightmare.” Sue remarks. “The only silver lining here is Lucy.”
“Definitely. She’s the only good thing that came out of this marriage. Andrew wanted to take her away from me. He wanted to put his hands on everything I owned, including my penthouse.”
“Yeah, those days were shittier than shit.”
I lean back against the arm of the couch and finish my hot drink. I have no idea how I survived this ugly, dark period in my life. It was tough on me physically and emotionally. It took me months to dust myself off and muster up the courage to file for divorce. Andrew became my enemy overnight. He flaunted his affairs in my face and treated me like absolute shit.
“Andrew’s death was a blessing in disguise.” I blurt out. Saying the words out loud feels so good, but I can’t help but feel guilty for saying them.
“You should write what you just said on a piece of paper and tie it to a balloon.”
“Where on earth did you read that? Psychology Today?”
“Nah. Facebook.”
We change the subject and turn our attention to my brand new television. Jax insisted on getting me a big ass fifty-two-inch screen with an Apple TV box. He said he wanted Lucy to have access to all the cartoon channels on this planet. The day after the gun incident, he showed up with a rocking unicorn for my baby and a gorgeous bracelet from Tiffany & Co for yours truly. I love how the diamonds catch the light every time I move my arm. Jax has exquisite taste when it comes to gifts. He continues to blow me away with his sweet gestures. I was incredibly freaked out the other day and he knew exactly what to say to make me feel safe.
Sue orders Chinese and we eat dinner while watching her favorite TV show. We gossip about random stuff and listen to old music on the gramophone she bought me for my birthday. We drink wine and watch the stars from the skylight in the dining room. There’s not much to see really, but we lie on the table and pretend we’re back at summer camp.
“This table is surprisingly comfy.”
“Yeah, it is.”
As usual, she falls asleep minutes later on said table. I smile and place a pillow under her head and cover her with a blanket. It felt good to get things off my chest and share with her all those secrets. I feel blessed to be surrounded with people who love me unconditionally and care about my wellbeing.
I head over to Lucy’s room to check up on her. She’s fast asleep, probably dreaming of fairies, cupcakes, and unicorns. The rocking unicorn Jax bought her is right at the foot of her small bed. She rode that unicorn all day today and refused to sit in her regular high chair. I called Jax and told him to come fix the problem he created. He simply laughed and stopped by for five minutes. Of course, the moment she saw him, she forgot all about her mother. The charming bastard was somehow able to convince her to ditch the unicorn in favor of the high chair.
I shut the door and walk the short distance to my own bedroom. I decide to put the whole gun incident behind me and focus on the future. With Jax by my side, I have nothing to fear.
25
JAX
“Good morning, sleepyhead.” I tease my brother when he finally picks up the phone.
“Jax, what the fuck? I told you to wake me up at noon, not nine fucking AM.”
“Oops. My bad.” I tell him.
New York is draped in a shroud of fog today. The Hudson River is barely visible from my front yard. The weather is starting to warm up and the ice is melting, but my senses are still on high alert.
“Whatever,” Felix mutters. “
You owe me coffee and bagels.”
“Funny you should mention that because a delivery guy is on his way to your place right now with bagels, coffee, and donuts.”
“Seriously?”
“Yep.” I bend down and pick up a pebble from my manicured lawn. The shrubs to my right are trimmed to resemble pyramids. I hired a famed topiary artist to make my lawn reflect my unique personality, so naturally, there are falcons and wolves guarding my castle.
It feels pretty fucking great to be living in the most coveted property overlooking the Hudson River. My house was designed in 1920 by famed architect, Igor Petrov. He was obsessed with castles, so the exterior of the house looks a lavish castle complete with a high tower and a front gate worthy of Game of Thrones.
“So where did this selfless gesture come from? Vivian?”
“Maybe.” I toss the pebble in the air and catch it with my left hand. “Don’t get used to it though. This is a mere thank you for investing in the rage room and helping me make it a success.”
“Cheap breakfast is not enough, bro. I want sushi delivered to the club every single day of the week and a monthly supply of protein shakes.”
“Whoa. Easy there, tiger. This is a thank you breakfast, not an all you can eat buffet.”
He yawns. “I was joking, relax. What are you doing up so early anyway?”
“My housekeeper took the day off so I had to let the pool maintenance guys in.”
“Man, I miss your indoor pool. Do you remember that dope party you hosted a few years ago?”
“Yep. I remember you hooking up with that hot Victoria’s Secret Angel. What’s her name?”
“Amanda Green. She’s married now.”
“Tough luck, champ. How’s your love life by the way?”
“What love life?” He snorts. “I’m too busy for this shit right now. How’s Vivian? Did she run screaming for the hills or not yet.”
“Not yet, asshole,” I reply while walking towards the low stone fence which spans the entire property. The river is a few meters below, giving me much needed privacy. “Vivian’s fine. She dropped by my office the other day and found me yelling at my junior lawyers. I swear those kids are testing my patience. They’re so fucking entitled and lazy.”
“Everyone is these days. Last week, I hired two girls in their early twenties who spent their first day taking selfies everywhere. I was this close to firing them, but their mother begged me to give them another chance.”
“Vivian thinks I should send all my kids to group therapy.” I glance at the burning barrel next to the garage. It’s time for me to do what I came out here to do. The pool maintenance guys left a few minutes ago, so I have the house all to myself.
“Speaking of Vivian, are you going to formally introduce us, or are you scared that she might find me attractive and ditch your ass?”
“I was just about to ask if you’re free on Thursday. Maybe we can swing by for a drink or two.” I pull out the folded papers from my back pocket and drop them in the flames.
“Yeah. Absolutely. So what are you up to? You sound busy.”
“Not really. I’m just taking care of some yard work.”
I watch the blue flames engulf the papers, their edges shrinking and turning coal black.
“Are you chopping firewood for your romantic date with your girl tonight?”
“Is this supposed to be a dirty metaphor or something?”
“No, man. I’m asking for real.”
“Nope. I have a lifetime supply of firewood in the basement, thank you very much.”
I suddenly hear the doorbell ring in the background. “Breakfast’s here.”
“Enjoy your bagels, bro. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Thanks. Let me know if you can make it on Thursday.”
“Sure. I will.”
“Oh, and tell Vivian that I look forward to stealing her from you.”
“In your fucking dreams.”
I hang up and stare at the burning barrel. I suddenly remember my favorite quote by poet Dylan Thomas.
I hold a beast, an angel, and a madman in me, and my enquiry is as to their working, and my problem is their subjugation and victory, down throw and upheaval, and my effort is their self-expression.
The words flow out of me as I take one last look at the barrel and turn around.
I hike up the small hill and light a cigarette along the way. It’s been a while since I’ve smoked one of these. Vivian encouraged me to quit, so I did. Today is one of those days where smoking is a necessity. The amount of shit swimming through my head is enough to fill up my indoor pool.
I walk past the iron gates and open the front door. When I first moved here, the house was empty as fuck, so I used to sleep on an air mattress in the round foyer. The dome-shaped ceiling fascinated me. It was painted black with shards of colored glass forming a strange, jagged abstract shape. Sometimes, it reminded me of a falcon and other times it resembled a bat.
Vivian was freaked out by the gargoyle statues at the top of the staircase. She left my house looking like she’d seen a ghost. A lot of people have the same reaction when they visit me. The castle definitely has a lot of gothic elements to it.
The architect who built it designed a hidden corridor that spans the entire first floor. This corridor was later sealed shut in 1951 by the family that owned the place. I’ve been told by my real estate agent that there are many secrets hidden in the walls of this castle. My secret is now part of these old stone walls.
What happens in Castle Knight, stays in Castle Knight.
26
VIVIAN
I woke up this morning feeling weird and disorientated. It took me forever to get dressed for work. Now I’m in my office, struggling to keep my eyes open. It’s been raining nonstop, so the room is grey and gloomy. Jax’s dislike for winter is beginning to rub off on me. I glance at my watch, waiting patiently for my first patient to arrive. Mrs. Lowl is a peculiar lady who reads tarot cards for a living. She suffers from insomnia, and lately, she’s been seeing unexplainable things in her apartment. This often happens when people lose the ability to sleep. They begin to hallucinate terrifying shadows at night.
“Doctor Swanson, there you are.” The older woman enters the office in her trademark gypsy skirt. She props her umbrella against the couch and shakes my hand.
“How are you today?” I greet her politely.
“Sleep deprived as always.” She complains. Her dark olive eyes scan my face for a few seconds. I find myself unable to look away. Her grip tightens on my hand, pulling me close. “Death will come knocking on your door again, child.”
She blinks and quickly lets go of my wrist. I step away from her in shock. Her words make my hair stand on end. Mrs. Lowl apologizes profusely for upsetting me. She starts to cry and my heart breaks for her. She looks tired and lonely. I offer her a box of tissues and sit across from her in my armchair. I try to shake off her words, but they keep on playing over and over inside my head like a broken record. She once told me that she comes from a long line of psychics, but I didn’t believe her. I still don’t.
I count the minutes until she leaves. Afterwards, I pour myself a cup of hot chamomile tea to calm my nerves. Sometimes, I wish I had a less depressing job. Most of my patients today suffer from either insomnia or anxiety. I should have canceled my appointments and joined Sue on her staycation. She’s planning on spending her annual holiday in Disneyland. Her flight to Orlando is tonight, so I promised to stop by and give her a hug before she leaves.
“Knock, knock!”
I turn around to find none other than Jax standing in the doorway. He looks like a GQ model in a dark grey suit that matches the color of his eyes. I forget everything, even my chamomile tea, and rush over to hug him. “You have no idea how happy I am to see you.”
He drops a quick kiss on my lips and holds my face in his warm hands. “Why? What happened?”
“It’s been a weird morning is all.”
He shuts the doo
r and kisses me again, this time, I melt into his kiss. He tastes like coffee and mint. His hands slide under the soft fabric of my cotton sweater and pull me closer to him. I’m tempted to lock the door and have my way with him, but my eleven o’clock appointment is in less than five minutes. “Jax. Behave.” I whisper against his dangerous lips.
He kisses me one last time before pulling away. “I have a meeting in ten minutes. Otherwise, I would have bent you over that desk and fucked your brains out.”
I toy with his striped necktie and glance discreetly at my desk. “I’m not sure my poor desk can handle your um...hard pounding.”
His deep chuckle puts a smile on my face. He looks even more handsome when he laughs, especially when his golden brown curls fall into his grey eyes. “Well, if we never try, we’ll never know.” He winks at me. “By the way, what do you think of my new cuff-links?” He shows me the tiny silver swords attached to each cuff.