by Chapple, GL
“You got any games?”
“A game?” I asked in confusion, “What - like a board game? I don’t think we have any here.”
She looked disappointed then she smiled at me again. “I have never been on a motorbike.”
“OK, well, I don’t have a bike, so I can’t help you out.”
“No! Silly,” she said through her laughter, “You need to tell me something that you’ve never done, but, if you’ve done what I say, you get a point. We’ll do…first of us to get to ten. Did you get a point? Have you been on a motorbike?”
I grinned at her. She had the ability to make me smile and forget myself so easily. “I’ve been on a bike, yes. I need to say something now that I’ve not done?” She nodded enthusiastically.
“I have never eaten sushi”
“Ewww!” She scrunched up her nose “Why would anyone want to?” She shuddered.
“I take it that means neither of us gets a point?”
She nodded. “Yep, Ok…um, I have never gone skinny-dipping.”
“Really? Is the first to ten the winner or the loser?”
She giggled and I immediately wanted to hear that sound again. “I take it you got another point, dirty boy!”
I laughed, getting up to fetch some drinks. “This seems like the type of game that requires more than water,” I teased as I got two shot glasses and a bottle of Jameson and put them on the table. “If you’ve not done it, then you need to do a shot. If you have, you take the point. Seems the fairest way to me. We’ll do one each to start.”
She sat cross-legged on the sofa, grinning broadly as she watched me pour the alcohol for her. I handed it across and she downed it like a pro, looking just as impressed with herself as I felt.
“Your turn.” With a nod of her head she signalled for me to go.
“I have never shared my bed.”
“What?” She looked confused.
“You heard. I’ve never shared my bed,” I repeated smugly, pouring another glass and handing it over to her.
“I’m gonna need an explanation.” She leaned back against the sofa and folded her legs under her, waiting for me to continue.
I sighed, wondering why I’d decided to divulge this to her. She picked up my bottle of beer and took a long drink before turning to me with a look of expectation.
“Fine. It’s exactly as I said. I’ve not shared my bed. If I meet someone, I go back to hers.”
“What about…” She paused, as if she were unsure whether she should continue.
“Lindsay came here plenty, but she never stayed the night. I slept at hers a few times.” I picked up my bottle and drank the remainder. She was still looking at me, but when I met her eyes, she glanced away.
“Ask,” I said with a sigh.
She shook her head gently and tried to look innocent, “I wasn’t going to say anything. So, I obviously get a point for that. My turn.”
I let her change the subject. We continued to play, laughing and teasing each other as our stories and confessions became braver. We passed the ten points mark at least three times over before I lost count. I’d got us more drinks and she’d fetched some nibbles over. We both sat on the sofa; she’d thrown her legs over me, and a bowl of crisps rested on her lap. The laughter had died down, and we were relaxed.
She yawned and then glanced at her wrist, letting out a little laugh as she looked at me with wide eyes. “Holy crap! It’s nearly 5am!”
I reached for my phone to confirm the time and was stunned to see that she was right. “Shit,” I muttered.
I’d never stayed up the whole night simply talking before. She must have read my mind because a split second later she voiced my thoughts.
“I can’t believe we’ve stayed up practically the whole night just talking!” Considering that it was early morning, I didn’t even feel that tired.
“I’ve never done that before,” I murmured, suddenly more conscious of her legs draped over me and our close proximity.
“Nor me.” She beamed at me, and I couldn’t help but smile back.
She was beautiful - that was without question - but it was more than that. She made you feel better and happier just by being around her.
“I’m not that tired, but I guess I should go to bed.” She held eye contact for a moment longer than necessary before clearing her throat and looking away.
I lifted her legs off me and moved out from underneath her. I suddenly felt awkward at the level of intimacy we were sharing. I busied myself collecting the bottles and carrying them through to the kitchen, calling to her over my shoulder that I was going to go up to bed. She followed me with an armload of bottles then bid me good night and scampered up the stairs.
I stood against the sink for a few moments, listening to her moving around upstairs, before following her up and getting myself ready for bed.
I’d just reached my bedroom door after using the bathroom when I heard her bedroom door open as I turned to face her, I saw she was wearing one of my tee shirts, and I felt my jaw drop. Mistaking the look on my face, she crossed her arms self-consciously. The action pulled the tee shirt even tighter and higher, so that it was skimming the very tops of her thighs.
Fuck my life!
Her legs looked silky smooth; they were lightly tanned, slim and more toned than I’d given her credit for. I realised I was staring at her legs and snapped my eyes upwards, aiming for her face but stopping involuntarily when I reached her chest. Her arms were folded, but they did nothing to hide what was underneath - if anything, they seemed to highlight exactly what she was hoping to cover.
“Sorry! I didn’t pack everything and Kelly gave this to me yesterday. I’m sorry, I should have checked with you.”
I dragged my eyes up further. I was gawking at her - I knew I was – but, as much as my brain was telling my mouth to speak, I couldn’t get the words to come out. She was wearing my clothes. My top was barely covering her. I could see the outline of her breasts, confirming to me that she wasn’t wearing a bra and, as she stepped closer to me, my eyes zeroed in on her nipples, protruding slightly through the thin material. Fuck me!
“Marcus?”
Her voice pulled me from my haze, and I blinked before looking at her face, reminding myself that this was Maddie, and she was a no-go area for me. She looked concerned, her teeth pressing into her plump bottom lip as she chewed it, looking at me anxiously.
“I can take it off,” she said innocently, but my cock, which had already been stirred awake, was seconds away from announcing its presence – thank God she was focused on my face.
My mouth finally caught up with my brain. “Christ, Maddie. Don’t be saying things like that!”
Her eyes opened wide as she realised what she’d said.
“You look good in it. Keep it,” I added and walked back into my room, closing the door tightly and leaning against it.
Fucking hell, I felt like a teenager.
My cock was rock hard and straining against my jeans. I tried to distract myself, but the vision of her taunted me. Releasing a breath, I walked over to my bed and kicked my jeans and boxers off. I lay down against the sheets, my hand moving automatically to grip myself as my cock twitched at the memory of Maddie just moments before.
I’d wanted to push her up against the wall, reach under that tee shirt and cup her arse cheeks in my hand. I wanted to crush those perfect, pale pink, plump lips against mine, feel her tongue stroking against me as I slipped my fingers inside her. I imagined her throwing her head back, writhing under me, begging me to get her there.
Someone like Christian wouldn’t know what to do with a girl like Maddie.
Fuck! - the things I wanted to do to her! I bet she hadn’t had a decent orgasm since she’d been with him.
I gripped my shaft tighter, my hand moving up and down from the base, slowly at first as visions of those plump lips and perfect tits filled my mind. I swirled the drop of pre cum over the tip, imagining how good her tongue and lips would feel do
ing the same. I moved from base to tip with long, fluid movements as I closed my eyes and pictured Maddie’s hand, mouth and pussy, my cock jumping in my hand as I thought about sinking into her. Fuck! I gripped myself harder, my movements becoming faster and faster as the sensations started to overwhelm me…the tingling at the base of my spine, the tightening of my balls, my toes curling over - and then I exploded, throbbing and pulsing into my hand.
I lay there for a few moments before getting up to sort myself out. I cleaned myself up in the bathroom, feeling guilty as I glanced at Maddie’s closed bedroom door.
I lay back in bed and stared at the ceiling. I needed to quash these thoughts right from the start. I could be the one to give her orgasms; I could be the one to rock her world and fuck her right, as she should be, but that’s all I could offer her, and that wasn’t enough.
Maddie wasn’t just a fuck: she wasn’t someone I could pick up and shag with no feelings; she wasn’t a stranger I could walk away from; she was a friend. She was someone I was starting to care about, and, regardless whether my cock wanted a piece of the action, it wasn’t going to happen.
I couldn’t give her what she deserved, wanted and needed.
I’d been selfish with regard to Lindsay – I wouldn’t make that mistake again.
I’d barely seen Marcus since the night we’d stayed up talking. I’d been busy in work and my hours were long so I was coming home exhausted. I’d yet to speak to Christian. We’d exchanged numerous text messages, but I kept putting off actually meeting him - until tonight.
I looked at my reflection in the mirror again, brushing imaginary hair away from my face and pressing my lips together. My phone beeped to indicate a message, and I knew without looking that he would be outside. I picked up my bag and left the house.
The ride to the restaurant was polite but awkward. He’d presented me with a large bouquet of roses as I reached the car, forcing me to run back to the house and quickly put them in a vase. Once I sat down, he leaned over and kissed my cheek lightly, but there wasn’t any further affection as he concentrated on driving.
After parking the car, he told me to stay seated as he came around and opened the door. Linking his arm with mine, he ushered me into the restaurant, and he gave our details. We were shown to a table towards the back of the restaurant, that was set slightly away from the main dining area, and I got the impression that Christian had specifically requested that table.
He smiled at me, “You look beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I murmured, fumbling with the menu.
He reached across and put his hand on top of mine. “I’ll order for you. Relax, darling. We’ll sort this silliness out and get you back home where you belong.” He raised my hand to his mouth, kissing it and smiling broadly at me.
The moment was broken as the waitress appeared next to the table, glancing uncertainly at our joined hands.
“I’m sorry - I can come back if I’m intruding…” she said, as Christian waved his hand dismissively,
“We’re ready to order.” He reeled off our food orders, as well as requesting a bottle of wine.
“Christian, I don’t…” I began to protest at his order of alcohol.
I wanted a clear head - my thoughts were a jumbled mess already – I didn’t need to add alcohol into the mix.
“You can have a glass or two, darling.” He smiled at me sweetly and sent the waitress away, asking that she bring the drinks right over.
I excused myself from the table and walked to the bathroom. My heart was racing, and I felt out of control already. I stood in front of the mirror and tried to give myself a pep talk. Squaring my shoulders, I walked back to the table, determined that I would speak calmly but firmly to Christian and find out exactly what was going on.
He stood up as I got close to the table, and pulled out the chair for me. I smiled and thanked him, feeling uncomfortable as the waitress stood watching us with a big, dumb smile on her face. She placed the drinks on the table, turning to me and winking as she told me what a lucky girl I was.
Christian smiled smugly as he poured the wine into my glass, “I’m just as lucky.” He handed me my glass.
I put it down on the table without taking a sip, watching as his brows pulled down into a frown.
“Christian, explain the text message to me. Are you cheating on me?”
Well done, Maddie! I wanted to high-five myself in my head for how strong I’d sounded.
He sighed and shook his head, looking unhappy that I would even bring it up. “Madilyn, I’m not sure what you think you saw, but I assure you it’s not what you seem to think. I have not, cheated on you, nor would I ever. Why would I do such a thing? What text message did you see? What made you think this? I want a life with you. I love you.” He paused for a moment, his eyes locked with mine as if assessing me, before he repeated, “I want a life with you. I love you.”
“Is that why you tried to get me pregnant?” I blurted.
He raised his eyebrow. “I didn’t think that’s what I’d done.”
“Christian, you let me think we were using a condom! I could have got pregnant! I had to go and get the morning-after pill.” I whisper-yelled at him.
“I didn’t say we had a condom – I said we were alright – and we were. The outcome wasn’t something that I’d put a great deal of thought into, but if it had resulted in pregnancy that wouldn’t have been a huge deal for me. It wasn’t a conscious decision, Madilyn. I just wanted to feel close to you.” He lifted the glass of wine up and held it out to me. I took a long sip as I studied him.
I couldn’t get him to understand. This felt like a huge deal to me, but he was making me feel that I was overreacting.
“You still should have discussed it with me. You know you gave me the impression that we were protected.”
“I didn’t realise that’s what you were thinking. My thoughts were consumed with thoughts of you.”
I met his eyes and he reached across the table to take my hand again. “I want you to come back home, Madilyn. Stop this silliness! I understand that you’re used to being on your own and maybe you felt overwhelmed, but don’t sabotage what we have. Let’s have a nice evening.”
The evening went quickly. The food was delicious and, luckily, helped absorb the alcohol. We finished the bottle of wine, and Christian attempted to order another but I point-blank refused: I was already feeling slightly tipsy and I certainly didn’t need any more alcohol. He linked his arm through mine as we walked back to the car, and I felt his body stiffen as I told him to take me back to Marcus’ house.
“I thought you’d be coming home.” He sounded hurt, but I could hear his annoyance.
“Christian, all my stuff is still there. I have to go back there. We’ve had a lovely evening but now I just need to think.”
“What could you possibly need to think about?”
I sighed, wishing that I had a clearer head to be able to refuse him and his request to go back ‘home.’
He continued before I could speak, “Madilyn, I’m not sure what’s going on with you. You don’t even know what message you saw, but you feel able to accuse me of cheating with no evidence. You feel wronged because you thought a condom was being used, when in actual fact I’d not said that we had protection – I told you that we were alright, which is exactly what we were. This sounds to me like desperate attempts to ruin a perfectly good relationship! We were happy. Why does being happy frighten you so much? Do you feel you don’t deserve to be loved? I know that you have nobody who cares about or loves you; I know that you’re all alone; but you don’t need to be anymore. I can give you what you want. You can be loved and belong. You don’t need to be on your own anymore.”
His words had been as sharp as razors, slicing and tearing at me, cutting me open and exposing my insecurities and fears. My eyes stung; I felt the tears pricking at the back of my eyes as I blinked rapidly, refusing to break down in the street.
“Please take me back to the house, C
hristian. I promise I’ll speak to you tomorrow.” My voice was small. I could barely speak; my throat felt as if it was closing up, my chest so tight that breathing was painful.
Christian spun me to him and held me tightly, his arms wrapped around me as he pressed me into his chest. He rested his chin on my head. “I knew you’d come around. I’ll expect you back home tomorrow when I get off shift.”
“I’m working tomorrow too. I just need to think Christian. I’ll call you tomorrow , though, I promise.”
He arched his eyebrow but didn’t argue with me. His smug look told me that he was already convinced that I’d be back ‘home’ with him in the next day or so.
He drove me in silence, the music played softly in the background, but I couldn’t concentrate on anything. His words were going around in my head on repeat. He pulled up outside the house and pulled me into his embrace, kissing me hard and passionately.
As I stumbled out of the car, he reminded me again of my promise to call him the next day, then drove off before I’d made it up the driveway. I stood in front of the door for a moment, praying that Kelly and Marcus would be in bed or out of the house. I couldn’t face dealing with anyone.
I opened the door and walked into the house. The TV was off, and the living room was in silence. Relief flooded through me, and I kicked my shoes off, scurrying over quickly to pick them up and put them neatly by the front door.
I walked upstairs, went straight to the bathroom and then got ready for bed. I put Marcus’ tee shirt on, and the tightness in my chest slowly dissipated as I curled up into a ball in my bed, the duvet wrapped around me tightly. Silent tears streamed down my face as I let myself finally react to Christian’s harsh words. Before I knew it, my silent tears had evolved into gut-wrenching sobs. I was so tired of feeling alone.
It seemed that the whole world had tilted without me knowing; nothing felt right anymore – I didn’t feel right anymore – I felt lost and confused, and I didn’t know how to find my way back.