My eyes shift to the clock above the TV, the same one Vada looked at when I came down here. Even though I’ve finished my piece of toast, my stomach still grumbles. An ache in my chest tells me it isn’t because I’m still hungry. I take a deep breath and release it.
“Do you think there’s an appropriate amount of time to get over someone before you’re given permission to move on?”
“What?” Vada’s gaze catches mine and she stares at me from across the room. It’s still glowing with a bright blue, the color mixing in with the darkness surrounding us.
I look back at the clock, and Vada does the same.
She breathes out an audible sigh, one that nearly sucks all the air out of the room. “No one gives you permission, Dallas. I don’t think you ever truly get over someone. Grief never really disappears. It just gets easier to deal with as time goes on.”
“I don’t know.” I shake my head, ready to tell her she’s full of shit. How could she ever understand? Vada isn’t the one who lost Hailey. I was. But then I think about how my life has changed over the past year. Parts of me have healed. Other parts have been stuck, frozen in time at the moment Hailey left.
It's hard to navigate something you’ve never experienced before. Most days I feel like I’m wandering down a long, never-ending road blindfolded. Then when I’m with Sloan, I feel like the blindfold is removed, if only for a little while. She lifts it a fraction and then when she’s gone, I’m reminded of the rules laid out before us and why they’re there in the first place.
“Maybe you’re right.” I shake my head and lean back in my chair. “Or not.”
I stay relaxed in the chair but look at Vada. Tears line the edges of her eyes, the blue light reflecting in the pools of liquid.
“Hailey’s your wife, Dallas. That’ll never change.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Nothing prepared me for this.
No matter how many times Colton begged me to do this, I should have said no. I could have backed out and given him a simple No, I’m not interested.
That scenario would have been exponentially easier than standing near the small stage in Dallas’ bar, getting ready to play in front of the massive crowd spread out before me.
I’ve never seen as many people packed into the dining area as I do tonight. Wall to wall, the customers are crowded in with drinks in their hands. Most of them are facing the stage, waiting to see who is playing tonight.
Gareth stands beside me with the neck of his guitar held in the grip of his hand. “Holy shit. I didn’t think there would be this many people here.” His eyes are wide and he seems frightened.
“Me either.” We both stare at the crowd wondering what the fuck we’ve gotten ourselves into. Over the past week, Gareth and I have practiced non-stop preparing for this one night. After I showed him my mother’s poem, he finally kicked his ass into gear when it came to actually practicing the songs all the way through, every single one of them. The idea of a new song sparked a change in him. Since then, all he’s done is focus on the music, and I was finally able to breathe a sigh of relief.
Gareth’s usually tan cheeks have paled. Despite all the times I’ve seen him confident, this moment is not one of them.
“Don’t tell me you’re backing out now.” I nudge him with my elbow and giggle. It’s interesting seeing him anything but arrogant. Vulnerability suits him better.
“I’m not.” He swallows. “Like I said, I just wasn’t expecting this many people.”
I grin and pat him on the back. “Well, there’s no turning back now. I’m just going to go to the restroom real quick before we start.”
“Okay.” He takes a deep breath and reaches for his beer resting on the small table beside the stage.
My heels click across the smooth concrete floor of the restaurant as I make my way through the back toward the bathroom. Colton is busy working the kitchen and popped out earlier to thank us for playing. Vada and Dallas are manning the bar along with two new bartenders Dallas hired last week to prepare for the end of summer. With Vada heading back to the newspaper to finally start her new promotion and me starting school, Dallas and Colton are in need of permanent bartenders.
I’m almost to the end of the hallway when a hand wraps around my wrist, tugging me farther back and against the wall. The breath is nearly knocked out of me when his tall, firm body presses against me.
I giggle, catching those ice blue eyes staring into mine. “What is it with you cornering me in dark hallways when I’m on my way to the bathroom?”
The corner of his mouth twists upward as he looks down. I lift my chin, trying to match my gaze with his even as I stand on the balls of my feet.
“I can’t help it. You make it too easy.”
“You think I’m easy?” I ask, pretending to be hurt.
“I said it’s too easy, not that you are.”
“I know.” I grin and rise higher up on my toes, bringing my mouth to his.
He glances around the corner, checking to make sure neither Colton nor Vada are walking this way. From where I’m standing, I can still see Vada working frantically behind the bar. Part of me feels guilty that she’s stuck back there all night without me, but it only lasts for a moment before my attention is pulled back to the man standing in front of me.
Dallas wraps one hand around the back of my head, pulling me against him. He slams his mouth against mine, stealing my breath away. His mouth is warm, and his smooth lips glide across mine easily as if they were meant to be pressed against them forever. He keeps his hand wrapped around the back of my neck as he moves the other along my back. I decided to wear a simple black dress. The back is exposed, dipping far enough for Dallas’ hand to slide across my skin. It isn’t nearly as daring as my bright red comeback dress, but it still gets the job done.
“Dallas.” I say his name against his lips. I don’t want him to stop, but I know if we get too carried away, I won’t ever go up on that stage. His erection is already pressed firmly against my thigh, and the space between my legs is soaking wet. “I should get back.”
“I can be quick.” He pulls back enough for me to see his eyes spark as he starts to move his hand down under the hem of my dress. “I can’t watch you up there all night wearing this dress while you sing with that asshole.”
“What’s wrong with this dress?” I smirk, tilting my head back to give him easier access.
“Absolutely nothing.” His mouth moves along my neck with his words and chills prickle down my back. “That’s the fucking problem.”
My eyes flutter as he continues moving his lips and tongue across my skin. I wrap my hands around his biceps, fighting with myself on what to do.
“Fuck.” I tilt my head back against the wall then roll it to the side, checking to make sure no one sees us. There’s no one there, but I still need to stop us before this goes too far, unfortunately. “I want to, but I can’t. We’re about to go on any second, and they’ll start wondering where I am if I’m late.”
Dallas uses his mouth to gently bite down on the skin of my neck. Heat shoots through me, radiating across my body. He kisses the same spot then pulls back, groaning. “Fine.”
I reach forward and place my hand on his erection, rubbing my palm along his length. We’re still pressed up one against each other, so my movement is hidden between us. A grunt rumbles in Dallas’ chest, and a smirk creeps up across his smooth mouth.
“Wish me luck?” I ask him, grinning.
“No,” he says quickly, pushing his hips into my hand. “You don’t need luck. You’re going to kill it.”
“Thanks.” I rise back up on my toes and place my lips against his. I linger longer than I usually do. I can’t explain the shift between us. We haven’t exactly made ourselves official. Claiming each other would go against every rule, both mine and his, but I can’t help getting this overwhelming feeling that Dallas might possibly mean just a bit more than I intended. He isn’t a man I happen to be sleeping with. He’s more than th
at. I just don’t know if Dallas feels the same.
Either way, I savor this kiss he’s allowing me to steal. When I pull away from him, I take the feeling with me, wrapping it up and sealing it away to deal with another time.
I leave Dallas in the hallway as I make my way back out to the dining room and stage. He doesn’t immediately follow behind me, so it doesn’t seem too obvious we were back there alone together.
Once I start weaving through the first group of people, I glance over my shoulder and catch Dallas emerging from the hallway. He heads back behind the bar to get back to work. After making it through the crowd, I meet Gareth up by the stage. He’s still waiting for me.
“I thought you ditched me there for a moment.” He runs his hand through his hair then straightens out his light blue button-down shirt.
“Sorry, Gareth.” I inhale a deep, nervous breath. “I got caught up in the crowd getting there and back. I wouldn’t do that to you.”
“Thanks.” He grins in appreciation.
“Are you ready?” I ask him.
He gives me a single nod before stepping up on stage. He sits on the farthest barstool and wraps the strap of his guitar around his neck to rest on his shoulder. I step up onto the stage and sit in the stool beside him, bringing the microphone closer to me.
Holy shit, there are even more people in here than I thought.
I clear the nervousness building in my throat, swallowing the lump. My gaze shifts to the bar where I find Vada and Dallas watching me. He fills a glass of beer, never taking his eyes away from me. She leans on the counter and gives me a small nod of encouragement. Colton is standing in the door to the kitchen, a large grin spread across his face.
I take a deep breath and lower the microphone to sit in front of my mouth. I glance at Gareth, and we exchange a silent agreement that we’re ready.
I lean into the microphone. “Hello, everyone! How are we doing tonight?”
The crowd cheers, some people yelling over each other.
I laugh, their energy pouring into me. I point to Gareth and then myself. “This is Gareth. I’m Sloan, and we’ll be playing a few songs for you tonight. Some you’ll recognize, some you might not.” I wink. “Either way, we hope you’ll enjoy it. Now grab yourself a pulled pork sandwich and a large beer and settle in.”
Gareth starts to pick at his acoustic guitar, his fingers slowly strumming across the strings.
“Here we go,” I say softly.
As soon as Gareth plays the first chord to start off the song, I open my mouth and sing. I sing for the first time on stage in front of a group of people that doesn’t include my brother. The buzz from the crowd expands and reaches out to me, filling me from the inside out. With every word I sing, my body reacts more to the crowd. It feels as if my heart is about to explode out of my chest. I’ve never experienced anything like this before in my life.
Gareth and I play through the first several cover songs. The crowd somehow grows even bigger. Most of them sing along with me, some even grabbing the person beside them and slow-dancing. I glance over at Gareth during the last cover song, surprised by how well he’s been playing. He’s never played this well in all the times we’ve practiced over the last several weeks.
When we’ve played through all the cover songs, the only one left is the song Gareth and I wrote using my mother’s poem. We pause long enough for the crowd to applaud. Once it dies down, I chance a look over behind the bar. Vada and Dallas are still behind it. Vada is still hard at work with the other two new bartenders. Dallas is leaning against the wall beside the kitchen door with his arms crossed over his chest, watching me. No one notices his stare except for me. His ice blue eyes reach across the room to me on the stage. I start to wonder what he might be feeling in this moment, watching me up here on the stage that was initially built for him.
The corner of his mouth turns up in the same way it did when we were hidden back in the hallway. The memory of his last kiss is still on my mouth as I turn my attention back to the crowd and the song I’m about to sing. I silently tell myself to relax, hoping my mother would be proud of me for turning one of her poems into a song.
“Thank you.” I clear my throat and scoot myself closer to the edge of the barstool. I nod at Gareth before speaking into the microphone. “Alright, this is the last song of the night, and it’s a special one.” I grin, finding Vada staring back at me as she claps her hands in excitement. “This is a poem my mother wrote before she passed away, and we decided to turn it into a song. It’s called Torn Together. We hope you enjoy it.”
Gareth starts to strum the guitar, and I tap my fingers on my knee as we settle into the beat. The music fills the entire space, the sound of Gareth’s fingers hitting the strings perfectly echoing off the brick walls. Inhaling a deep breath, I open my mouth to sing the words my mother wrote.
I’ve always loved you
It started with the blue
There you were under the neon hue
Your smile was both a blessing and a curse
Forever scored in this verse
The pain of what the future held
Would forever meld
I always thought love could
I always thought love could
Tear you apart, tear you apart
But somewhere along the way
We’ve been torn together, torn together
I stop singing long enough for Gareth to play his solo. I keep tapping my fingers across my knee to the beat. Before my lines start up again, I swing my gaze to the bar. Vada’s standing behind it the same way as before, only this time she’s swaying along with the rest of the crowd, enjoying the song. Dallas is no longer standing along the wall, but I figure he must be intermingled with the audience, serving them drinks or taking orders, or maybe he’s in the back, helping Colton in the kitchen. I try not to think about where Dallas might have gone in the middle of my performance and shift in my stool to face Gareth.
He nears the end of his solo, and I sing once again.
Your pain is mine
It always will be
Because we’re not torn apart
We’re torn together
When the song is finished and Gareth has played the last note, I sit on the barstool and stare at the crowd. I’m left breathless, reminding myself to inhale. My body is still vibrating with the same adrenaline I had from playing the earlier songs, but this was a different kind of rush. Somehow, I feel closer to my mom, hearing her words being sung to an audience, using my voice.
The crowd erupts into applause, and I gasp, caught off guard by their reaction. Gareth steps off his stool and grabs me by the wrist, pulling me to a stand. He slides his guitar around to his back, using the strap to hold it up, and wraps me in a tight hug. His strong arms tighten around my shoulders as he whispers in my ear.
“You were fucking incredible.”
I laugh, the shock of this moment still jolting through me. “You were amazing, too.” I release my hold on Gareth and turn my attention back to the audience. “Thank you everyone,” I say into the microphone. “We hope you enjoyed it, and we can’t thank you enough. Good night, Austin!”
I step down off the stage and am immediately wrapped up in Vada’s arms. She squeals and releases her hug, holding me at arm’s length. Her brown curls bounce with her excitement. “I can’t even tell you how amazing that was. You guys were incredible.”
“Thank you,” I tell her. “You made a great choice in picking that poem.”
“Are you kidding me?” She steps back and crosses her arms as she trades glances between me and Gareth. “I didn’t do anything. You two are the geniuses who turned it into a song.”
“Great,” I say to Vada, nodding my head toward Gareth. “Now you’re only inflating his ego even more by calling him a genius.”
“Don’t worry,” he says. “I already knew I was a genius before tonight. This only solidified it.”
Vada rolls her eyes at his comment, but our conversation is cut sho
rt when his attention shifts across the dining room. A man sticks his arm up out of the crowd, raising his hand and calling out Gareth’s name.
Heturns to me and gives me a quick hug. “I’ll see you later, okay? You killed it.”
“You did, too.”
It’s odd seeing Gareth this way. He isn’t flirting with me tonight. He isn’t trying to convince me to go on a date with him. He is simply enjoying the high we are clearly still riding. He disappears in the direction of the man who was waving him over, and I rise up on my toes, looking for the only man I care to see.
“Have you seen Dallas?” I fail in my attempt to see over the crowd. I’m certainly not the tallest person in here. I fall back on the heels of my feet and keep looking around the restaurant for him.
“No,” Vada says, looking herself. “Not since earlier.” Her attention shifts behind me then she smiles and nods her head over my shoulder. “There he is,” she says.
I turn around and spot him pushing his way through the crowd in our direction. We’re standing near the back of the crowd and the entrance to the hallway leading to the bathrooms and back alley. My heart pounds inside my chest at the sight of him, thrilled to hear what he thinks of my voice. A balloon expands within me, realizing I have feelings for this man that reach far beyond our verbal contract of rules.
But that balloon inside my chest is immediately deflated when I catch Dallas’ expression. His hair has fallen against his forehead, the ends swaying against his skin with each measured step. His chiseled jaw is clenched, ticking with every inch he closes between us.
My smile falters and practically disappears when he reaches me. Vada is still standing beside me, and the crowd has started to slowly dissolve. I can feel it in the air around me.
But it’s Dallas’ anger that hits me the hardest.
“What the fuck were you thinking?” he asks. His hands are at his sides, clenched into fists.
Confusion hits me nearly as hard as his furious stare. His ice blue eyes have frozen over, piercing me with every second they’re pinned on me.
The Rules of Heartbreak: An Enemies-to-Lovers/Next-Door Neighbor Romance (The Heartbreak Series Book 1) Page 21