After my conversation with Dallas outside, the last thing I want to do is lie to my best friend, pushing her away. The secret I’ve been keeping from her has started to eat away at me, and it leaves me wondering if I can ever let go of the past. I’ve known from the start of my friendship with Vada that she’s different. It was wrong of me to not tell her about her brother and me. Nothing good comes from secrets. I learned that from Brenna, and now Dallas.
My chin quivers and tears spring up behind my eyes again. The pressure of everything around me is enough to allow them to break free. They flow down my face as I struggle to take in a breath. “Um, Dallas and I were sort of seeing each other.” I wince, moving to the side, out from the entrance of the bar.
I push my way through until I reach the far brick wall. I lean my shoulder against it and close my eyes, breathing in. Breathing feels like a chore, and when I open my eyes, Vada is standing directly in front of me. Parts of her expressions resemble her brother—the way her bottom lip pops out as she exhales, the way her eyes narrow as she listens to what I’m saying.
“What?” Her narrowed eyes open wide, and they cloud over with an emotion I have yet to see on her. It’s one I know is caused by me.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you, but it all kind of happened so fast.” I struggle with the right words to explain my relationship with Dallas. “We weren’t trying to make a big deal of it, and we promised each other we would keep it between us.” I sigh and let the tears flow down my cheeks. I leave out the part about the rules and nearly everything else that goes along with the deal Dallas and I made. I look out the front window. The rain is still pounding onto the pavement as thunder growls across the sky.
“I don’t know what to think of this,” Vada says, taking a step back. “You were sleeping with my brother, and you didn’t tell me?”
“I didn’t do it to hurt you, Vada.”
“Telling me you and Dallas were sleeping together wouldn’t have hurt me,” she says. “But knowing you kept it from me this whole time…” She pauses, and tears pool in her normally bright eyes. “That’s what hurts me.”
“Vada.” I push myself off the wall and step toward her, reaching my hand out to touch her arm with the ends of my fingers.
“It’s fine.” She sniffs. “I just…I think I need some time to figure this out.” She nods her head toward the front door. “Plus, I should check to make sure my brother made it home safe.”
She quickly swipes her hand across her cheek and spins around, heading in the direction of the kitchen. I watch her until she disappears behind the swinging door, and I can’t help wondering which situation is worse: finding my fiancé fucking my best friend or discovering I’ve fallen in love with Dallas the same night I lose him.
The flight from Austin to Duluth is long, unbelievably long. I don’t know if I should be annoyed or grateful.
Knowing I am going back home to the one place I never thought I’d return to has my stomach in knots the entire flight. I try to use the time to drown my thoughts by reading a book or watching one of those awful in-flight movies, but nothing keeps my attention long enough. A few lines read in my book and my thoughts wander to how Dallas was supposed to be on this trip with me. My overnight bag sits in his empty seat, reminding me of that simple fact. I picture him sitting beside me, criticizing the lines in the book he thinks are the most dramatic. I also picture the way his mouth used to curl into a smile at the sight of me, one side twisting up more than the other.
But then after those thoughts come all the lies and secrets. Hailey and Ellie. Songs that weren’t poems. Vada and the last look she gave me when I told her about my relationship with her brother. It’s only then that I decide to finally give up.
I slam the book shut and try to sleep the rest of the trip.
Now, with my feet on Minnesota soil, the knots inside my stomach have twisted even tighter, and my thoughts about Dallas haven’t quit.
It’s been an entire week since the last time I saw him. Every morning, I’d make sure to leave after he’d already left for his morning run. He made it easy to avoid him other times throughout the day. I never saw him outside working on his truck or his motorcycle. I decided to quit Dallas’ bar the day after our fight in the parking lot. I sent Colton a text letting him know I didn’t think it was in anyone’s best interest for me to stay. He agreed. I’d be lying if I said his agreement wasn’t another twist of the knife in my gut.
He didn’t even bother asking me to stay a little longer to finish out the shifts I had scheduled. Maybe it’s because he already hired a few new bartenders, or maybe it’s because I was never meant to stay there permanently. The reason I considered the most was that mine and Dallas’ relationship had bled out into the workplace.
That meant rule number one was truly broken. Oops.
When I decided to go to Minnesota without Dallas, I thought my biggest worry would be running into Cole or Brenna. But the truth is, they haven’t even crossed my mind until now.
I only feel slightly better when Liam pulls up to the pickup lane at the airport. I’m standing on the sidewalk with my suitcase beside me as his black car pulls directly in front of me. Mark is driving, and he barely has the car in park before Liam jumps out, swallowing me up with a hug.
“Oh my god,” he says, wrapping his arms around me. “I didn’t realize how much I fucking missed you until right now.”
I sniff, tears building in my eyes. “Me either.” He smells the same and he feels the same. Everything about being here in Minnesota feels the exact same.
Liam pulls back as he wipes his tears away.
“I told Liam I wanted to take bets on how long it would take him to cry after seeing you. He wasn’t having it.” Mark walks around the car and steps up onto the curb, pulling me in for a hug. “I would have won by the way.” When he pulls back, he grins and places his hand on my cheek, admiring my face. “Look at what the Texas sun has done to you. Your skin is glowing.”
“Thanks.” I give him a small smile as he pulls my suitcase away, stuffing it into the trunk of his car.
Mark and I have always had a close relationship, and I consider myself lucky to have such an amazing brother-in-law. Not only is he gorgeous, he’s also one of the smartest people I know. So even though I feel a heaviness inside me, I don’t let him see it. Mark deserves only the best for his promotion celebration.
Mark slides his glasses down from the top of his head and opens the back door for me. I cross my arms and twist my mouth. “I can open my own door, you know.”
“Well, of course you can.” He laughs. “But why should you when you have me?”
“Oh my god.” I roll my eyes. “Please don’t tell me you’re both spoiling me like this for the entire weekend.”
Liam sits down in the passenger seat and looks over his shoulder. “You’re only here for two days, sis. Deal with it.”
When Mark puts the car into drive and we pull away from the airport, I can already feel my heart starting to lighten.
Liam decided to host the party at my father’s old lake house. The large home sits on the edge of Lake Superior, and when I find myself walking down by the water, I’m remembering every single summer we used to spend here. I arrived in Minnesota yesterday and my flight home is scheduled for tomorrow afternoon. I’ve only just gotten here, and I am already preparing myself for when I have to go back.
The warm breeze brushes against me, blowing my long summer dress back. My feet hit the sand, and I try to imagine the grains as they slide between my toes. When I left Minnesota months ago, I swore I wouldn’t miss a single thing. But now, as the sun shines down on my face and I breathe in the fresh air, I think I might have changed my mind. This is the one thing Texas doesn’t have on Minnesota.
“I thought I’d find you out here.”
I spin around on the beach to find Liam walking toward me. He’s wearing a white button-down shirt, the sleeves rolled up his arms. He’s untucked it from his black slacks, and h
is matching black tie hangs loosely around his neck, undone. The ends dance across his chest as he makes his way down the beach to meet me.
I shrug, squinting my eyes against the late-afternoon sun. “It’s been a while since I’ve felt sand beneath my toes.”
Liam grimaces, twisting his mouth as he looks down at the sand. “I’ve never been a big fan. It’s such a bitch to remove, and you can wash yourself a hundred times and still find the grains somewhere.”
I give my brother a tight smile and tip my head toward the lake house. “How’s it going up there?”
He glances over his shoulder then swings his gaze back to mine, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Not bad. Mark is talking to a few of his co-workers about the new research they’ll be undertaking now that he’s been promoted. I don’t understand one bit of it.”
“I wouldn’t either.” I twist my mouth and shake my head. Mark works for a biomedical company as one of their engineers. His work is admirable, but it also confuses the hell out of me.
Liam steps toward me and grabs my hand. He wraps it around his arm and pulls us forward, walking us farther down the beach, away from the house.
I smile and rest my head on his shoulder. We’re walking slowly, allowing the gentle waves from the lake to fill the silence growing between us.
I’m enjoying my walk with him until he decides to break that silence. “So when are you going to tell me about what happened with Dallas?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, keeping my head resting on his shoulder. There’s a pull in my chest as if someone has tied a piece of string around my heart and is trying to tug it free from my chest.
“Sloan, we’ve been brother and sister long enough for me to know when you’re heartbroken. I would say you looked the same as when you found out about Cole, but I’d be wrong. This time is different.”
Tears spring up behind my eyes, and I breathe in a heavy sigh. I don’t want to cry—again. I’ve already done enough of that this past week.
I lift my head and look at Liam. It’s amazing that he can still guess what’s going on without me having to say a word.
I take in a deep breath, allowing the Minnesota air to give me the strength to get through this conversation with my brother. “Dallas lied to me that first day we talked. He knew Ellie. He knew my mother.”
“What?” Liam blinks in disbelief. “How?”
I roll my head along with my eyes, knowing it’s going to take even more strength for me to get this next confession out. I also haven’t admitted this part out loud since Dallas told me. “Dallas and his wife used to perform duets all across the Austin area, and Ellie would write all their songs.”
Liam stops, turning his body toward me. He keeps my arm hooked onto his, but his eyes turn down in confusion. His normally bright green gaze is now clouded with a million thoughts. “Um, did you say wife?”
“Yeah.” I sigh. “She died a year ago from cancer.” The sadness pounds away at me, thinking about Hailey and the short life she lived. I don’t know one thing about her, but I can tell she was a woman who left her mark on the people she left behind. Dallas, Vada, even Colton.
After my argument with Dallas that night, I realized they’ve all been grieving her for the past year. I was the odd man out, throwing a wrench into their lives just by simply showing up. The death of my mother was the cherry on top. They grieved for her in a way I never could, in a way I never would.
Tears spill over my lashes down my cheeks. They’re cool from the breeze blowing over them, but the warm liquid flowing down them warms my face. I release a sob, the vision of my brother growing blurry. “Everything is a mess, Liam. Thinking it was a poem my mother wrote, I turned it into a song and decided to play it the night of my performance at the bar with Gareth. Dallas recognized it as one of Ellie’s that she’d written for him, and he got angry with me. As if I was supposed to know that.” I’m explaining the story faster than my thoughts are able to catch the words pouring out of me. It’s as if Liam’s simple interest in my life has broken the dam. “We were supposed to keep our relationship strictly about sex, but somehow I think we both crossed our lines. We both broke the rules.”
“First of all,” Liam starts, holding my hand firmly. “You should know better than to think it can ever be just sex. A one-night stand, maybe, but not when you’re constantly sleeping with the same person. Somewhere along the way, the lines get blurred, and confusion starts to set in. Then neither person can tell who crossed the line first and who didn’t. It becomes a finger-pointing game.”
“Okay, I get it.” I sniff, cutting Liam off. He isn’t exactly making me feel better, no matter how right he may be.
“Second,” he continues. “What rules?”
“Well, you knew about the ones I set up after I found out about Cole and how I didn’t want to start a relationship with a man after. I truly wanted to focus on myself when I moved to Austin, but you see how that turned out. When Dallas and I started sleeping together, we laid out a few rules. One was to never let our sex life extend into work or our personal lives. And again, you see how that turned out. He was going to come with me this weekend.” Another tear spills over. I only feel slightly better having told Liam about Dallas.
He inhales a weighted sigh then wraps his arms around me in a tight hug. I relax my body into his, allowing his embrace to act as a soothing balm, hoping it will somehow heal the wounds on my heart.
He rests his cheek on the top of my head. “I’m sorry to say it, sis, but you don’t look like someone who stuck to the rules without allowing herself to bend them, even just a little bit.”
I cry against Liam’s chest, breathing in his scent. He smells like a mixture of his woodsy cologne and laundry detergent.
We stand holding each other for a few minutes before I can bring myself to pull away.
“I don’t know what to do,” I tell him, turning. I look out to the lake, watching as the sun shines down on the surface. It looks like it’s covered in crystals. Boats float through the water, and I look up at the sky, watching as a flock of birds flies across the clear blue canvas.
This place is beautiful, and there was a time when this place was home to me. But as I stare out at the seemingly never-ending water, I know it is no longer mine. This place no longer lives inside my heart.
“I think you do,” Liam says.
I turn my head, catching him looking out at the water the same way I was.
“How can I go back to him when I don’t even know if what we had was real? How can I forgive him even if it was? He may have lied, but I’m the one who ended it. He might not want me back at this point. It’s been over a week.”
Liam shrugs. “I don’t know, but I think you should trust your gut. When that lawyer showed up on your doorstep and said you inherited your mother’s house, you didn’t know where it would lead you. Accepting her house meant you had to move thousands of miles away from your family and the only home you’d ever known, but you still went despite all that. You took a chance and trusted your gut. Look where it led you.”
“Yeah,” I scoff. “My heart’s been broken all over again.”
“No,” Liam says. “It led you to falling in love again.”
I hold my breath as my heart pounds inside my chest, knowing Liam’s never spoken more truthfully than he has now. No matter how nosey he is when it comes to my personal life, I know he’s right.
I’ve fallen in love with Dallas, and I didn’t even realize it until I lost him. I think about Dallas’ blue eyes and how they looked at me the night he showed up at the club, claiming I’d sent him a picture of myself. His eyes sparked with a fire I’d never seen on him before, and it was then that I felt that same fire burning through me. He’d somehow touched every inch of my body before he even laid one finger on me.
My mind wanders to the day he showed up in my yard, offering to help trim my bushes after I’d fallen off the ladder and then again when I was trying to move my mother’s old desk. Dallas went
out of his way to help me, and those times were when we ended up spending the most time together. Even so, uncertainty still lingers in the back of my mind as Liam and I continue to stand on the beach.
“How do I even know if Dallas is ready for more than what he was able to give me before?”
“There’s only one way to find out, and I can tell you right now, you aren’t going to find it standing on the shore of Lake Superior.”
I roll my eyes and give him a tight smile while wiping the tears from my cheeks.
Liam grins then drapes his arm across my shoulders, pulling me toward him and away from the beach. We start heading back in the direction of the house. “Come on. Let’s get back inside before we both get in trouble with Mark for ditching him.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
I’m staring at the large black case the way Sloan was staring at the cardboard box she found in her attic a couple weeks ago.
I haven’t spoken to her since the night of her performance. The image of her standing in the rain with tears streaming down her face has been ingrained in my mind ever since that night outside my bar. It’s an image that is impossible to forget and that left me gutted.
Not only have I not spoken with Sloan since that night, I also haven’t seen her.
The day after our argument on the street, she quit her job at my bar. I can’t exactly blame her. Keeping the secret of knowing her mother and having had a wife before are two things I don’t expect Sloan to quickly forgive me for. After all, she’s the one who told me I was off the hook.
All week, I expected to see Sloan in some capacity. After all, we’re still neighbors, even if she quit the bar. It could be coincidence, or it’s possible Sloan is avoiding me on purpose, and to be honest, I can’t blame her. But the deeper part of me, the one that realizes I fell in love with Sloan, hopes it was coincidence.
The Rules of Heartbreak: An Enemies-to-Lovers/Next-Door Neighbor Romance (The Heartbreak Series Book 1) Page 23