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Purple Daze

Page 8

by Sherry Shahan


  Ziggy

  * I’m lipstick

  nail polish

  mascara.

  A short squat

  package people

  buy without

  looking inside.

  * Free Verse: Ms. Hawes’s class

  Cheryl

  * HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

  HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE

  I HATE DONALD DUCK

  * Haiku: Ms. Hawes’s class

  Norman Morrison

  (December 29, 1933–November 2, 1965)

  A devout Quaker and father of three young children pours kerosene over his head and sets himself on fire outside Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara’s office at the Pentagon in an act of self-sacrifice to protest United States involvement in the Vietnam War.

  Mickey

  USS Hermitage LSD-34 Puerto Rico

  Dear Cheryl,

  Guess what?

  I got relieved of one of my jobs.

  Guide Bearer. My CO said (quote),

  “What in the hell makes you think

  you can laugh at everything?

  This is the Navy!”

  Me, “I know, Sir.”

  Him, “When you can stop laughing

  you can have your job back.”

  I haven’t stopped laughing.

  That job had a lot of responsibility I

  didn’t need. I’d rather just be Mail PO.

  Get the same thing on my uniform.

  Love, Mickey

  P.S. Tell Don I tried to qualify for a golf

  tournament and shot a clutch 89.

  Phil

  Dear Cheryl,

  Is Ozzie and Harriet still on TV?

  I used to think that show was corny as hell.

  Now I dream of being married

  with a buttload of kids.

  I’d be pretty strict.

  But no spankings.

  I’d never hurt a kid.

  Not even here.

  I don’t care if orders came from

  General Westmoreland.

  I carry memories of Nancy,

  praying she’s still waiting for me

  in that other world where she sleeps

  on clean sheets and a feather pillow.

  We’re going out on operations tomorrow, so

  I thought someone should know there’s a few

  feelings under these filthy fatigues.

  Love, Phil

  P.S. This goddamned country rains horse piss–just emptied out my boots again—in case you meet a POG who wants to trade places.

  Thanksgiving

  Commander’s Message

  “This Thanksgiving Day we find ourselves in a foreign land assisting in the defense of the rights of free men everywhere. On this day we should offer our grateful thanks for the abundant life which we and our loved ones have been provided. May we each pray for His continued blessings and guidance upon our endeavors to assist the Vietnamese people in their struggle to attain an everlasting peace within a free society.”

  —W. C. Westmoreland, General United States Army

  Thanksgiving Menu

  Shrimp Cocktail

  Crackers

  Roast Turkey

  Giblet Gravy

  Mashed Potatoes

  Cornbread Dressing

  Cranberry Sauce

  Candied Sweet Potatoes

  Buttered Peas

  Assorted Crisp Relishes

  Hot Butter Buns

  Butter

  Fruitcake

  Mincemeat Pie

  Pumpkin Pie with Whipped Cream

  Assorted Fresh Fruit

  Assorted Nuts

  Assorted Candy

  Tea Milk Coffee

  Phil

  Dear Cheryl,

  My sister sent a present with her

  last letter, a stuffed duck.

  We named him Daffy—

  he’s our “unofficial mascot.”

  You otta see these

  salt-dripping haggard rag-tags

  having conversations with Daffy.

  He wears a helmet (crushed beer can)

  and jungle fatigues (woven razor grass).

  Cap’n donated a soggy cigar.

  Love ya, Phil

  P.S. We’re having Spam for Thanksgiving, probably left over from WWI.

  Alice’s Restaurant

  1964 Alice and Ray Brock purchase a gothic

  revival building in Great Barrington, Massachusetts.

  The small, pine church is transformed into a refuge,

  where young people escape establishment pressures

  and the hell of Vietnam.

  Agitated neighbors shout at the long-haired,

  nonconformists living in this beatnik commune.

  Thanksgiving 1965 Arlo Guthrie, son of folk singer

  Woody Guthrie, and a friend haul garbage from the

  Brock’s home to the city dump. Discovering it closed

  for Thanksgiving, they toss the trash down a hill.

  The pair is arrested, appearing before a blind judge,

  who’s unable to see the 8 x 10 glossy photos in evidence.

  They plead guilty, pay a $25 fine, and clean up the mess.

  “Alice’s Restaurant Massacree” evolves into a satirical

  18-minute talk-song that records the events. Later,

  lyrics critical of the war are woven in.

  Who says you can get anything you want?

  Nancy

  Tonight our professor is lecturing about navigating

  life through enlightenment, explaining it’s possible

  to be en-lightened without reading a tome or spending

  a hundred years in a monastery.

  He says that according to existentialists,

  most problems stem from worrying about

  the past and future.

  I worried, still worry, about Phil—Maybe

  I never loved him as much as he loved me.

  Otherwise why did I stop writing?

  Now I worry that my feelings were parataxic distortion—

  meaning, not based on Phil’s true attributes,

  but on a fantasy boyfriend I conjured in my mind.

  I stay after class to talk to the professor about it.

  He says, “Never let learning get in the way of loving.”

  Da Nang Vietnam

  Inbound provisions:

  Hot ammunition, maybe

  even misplaced mail?

  Phil

  Cheryl,

  A grunt just walked by.

  KILL THEM ALL,

  LET GOD SORT IT OUT!

  scrawled on his flak jacket.

  Put my dog tags in a boot.

  If I hit a mine or a tripwire

  that’s all that’ll be left.

  Love, Phil

  P.S. Forgot to explain POGs:

  People Other than Grunts.

  P.P.S. Just finished The Carpetbaggers.

  First classic I ever read.

  Cheryl

  mom elopes with nuts & chews,

  a drive-up ceremony in las vegas

  since he owns a grocery store

  we move to a new house with

  tv dinners stacked in the freezer

  salisbury steak is my favorite

  mom and I used to get our periods

  together.

  now we’re a week apart

  Ziggy

  My motel sign:

  VACANCY

  Chu Lai Vietnam

  Gooks dig holes.

  Two-feet deep.

  Shove in Punji sticks—

  18 inches of bamboo,

  ends hacked to a point,

  dipped in shit.

  Stuck in holes,

  camouflaged.

  Neat little booby trap—

  not the C-cup type.

  Fuckin’ crazy.

  Medical Evacuation

  From the standpoint of methods in which

  soldier
s are wounded—mines, high-velocity

  missiles, booby-traps—and the locale of the

  injured—paddy fields and along waterways

  where human and animal excretion is common—

  Vietnam is a dirty war

  Due to the lack of secure road networks in

  combat areas, med-evac choppers are keystone.

  Whole blood packaged in Styrofoam™ containers

  permits storage of 48–72 hours in the field,

  in anticipation of casualties.

  Greater care of the wounded results from rapid

  evacuation, ready availability of whole blood,

  well-established hospitals, and advanced surgical

  techniques.

  Mickey

  USS Hermitage LSD-34 Non-Virgin Islands

  Dear Cheryl,

  I can’t believe you broke up with Don!

  I’m still going out with that Chinese girl.

  Her father works her to death,

  I swear, 13 hours a day, 7 days a week.

  They own a Chinese restaurant.

  I sort of feel sorry for them because

  they don’t get hardly any business.

  Her name is Yen, I’m serious.

  She’s from Hong Kong.

  She’s not exactly a girlfriend because

  she’s married and all.

  Her husband is in Vietnam.

  Love, Mickey

  P.S. Tell Ziggy I won’t be in the States for a while,

  so she can stay stoned a little longer.

  Ziggy

  I sneak in the side door of the gas station,

  drop a quarter in the cigarette machine,

  and wonder if I have the strength

  to push the right button,

  straighten out my life.

  Mick says I’m a nymphomaniac

  when I’m really just in love.

  Before I quit school, I told Ms. Hawes

  that I moved in with my brother, and

  she took me to the teacher’s lounge,

  poured two cups of coffee, gave me a

  dime and the number of a church

  where I could get help.

  I spent it on a glazed donut.

  Phil

  Dear Cheryl,

  We started packing maxi pads

  in our helmets to plug sucking

  chest wounds.

  Another thing—

  war flicks don’t know shit about dying.

  No one staggers in slow motion crying,

  “Mama!”

  They drop like puppets with

  their strings cut.

  Zapped.

  Offed.

  Lit up.

  Dead as fucking door knobs.

  I never prayed before I came here.

  Love, Phil

  P.S. My M-16’s chipped, cracked,

  metal parts worn through the bluing,

  cuz it never leaves my side.

  P.P.S. .45 is rusted shut.

  Yo-yo can still walk-the-dog though.

  Don

  Dearest Cheryl,

  DON’T TEAR THIS UP!!! PLEASE!!!

  I’ll do anything if you’ll just forgive me.

  Anything. I’m on my knees, begging, please,

  I love you so much I can’t eat or sleep.

  All I think about is holding you.

  I look for you everyday before and after school,

  between classes, during nutrition at lunch.

  Guess you’ve been cutting Hawes’s class,

  and using someone else’s locker.

  Has your mom told you I called?

  About a million times!

  PLEASE CALL ME!!!

  I love you more today than ever, Don

  P.S. Are you still pen pals with Mick & Phil?

  P.P.S. I got that job at the club. $1.25 an hour.

  Cheryl

  Love is like sticking

  your car keys in a pocket with

  your sunglasses and thinking

  your glasses won’t get scratched.

  Phil

  2 a.m. December 1

  Me and Gunther have guard duty in the

  tower, a mini-hooch without the screen.

  A 20-foot high platform,

  Permanent Target Duty.

  Thunk! Thunk! Thunk!

  Mortars propel from some gook hooch.

  I’ve got my buddy Blooper, an M-79 grenade launcher,

  like a large bore, single barrel, sawn-off shotgun.

  Our Xmas toys light up everything, moving or not.

  M-18 Claymore mines—front toward enemy—

  steel ball bearing shrapnel. Fugas. Trip flares.

  Illumination flares, mini-chutes raining light.

  Tracer rounds, ribbons of chrome-orange metal.

  Hueys roll in.

  Fighter pilots in helmets, shorts, zoris.

  Annihilate the place. Rat-a-tat-tat.

  Chaos.

  Silent night, holy night.

  Destruction.

  All is calm, all is bright.

  Extermination.

  Sleep in heavenly peace.

  Bits of beauty everywhere.

  Cheryl

  Stable horses, $2.50 an hour.

  I broke all the rules, galloped

  soon as I left the barn,

  like dancing to “Hang on Sloopy,”

  naked,

  free.

  Ziggy

  Bubba dropped me at Hughes Market

  with a list:

  Crispy Critters

  Ding Dongs

  Potato Crisps

  Sweet Tarts

  Dr. Pepper

  Wheeling through produce, I see

  Cheryl’s mom thumping cantaloupes.

  Her cart cradles chickens, carrots, squash—

  nothing in a can or a box.

  “Ziggy!” she says, rushing over.

  “Where’ve you been?”

  I self-destruct on the spot.

  Phil

  I keep having this dream.

  A short, sharp sound.

  Click!

  When I turn, a squat brown boy

  jabs a gun in my gut.

  Click! Click!

  He swings the butt at my head.

  I empty a clip in his face.

  Bones fly. Chip by chip.

  A tooth.

  Another round of shoot-a-gook.

  I wake up sweatin’ blood.

  God forgive us.

  Mickey

  USS Hermitage LSD-34 Somewhere Over the Rainbow

  Dear Cheryl,

  What’s the haps?

  Thought I’d send you some stuff

  I picked up on my travels.

  Hope you like the poem about Santa Claus.

  Guess what? I qualified for Heads Helmsman.

  (That’s the guy who steers the ship.)

  Whenever we go through shallow water

  I’ll be called up to steer.

  I have to know everything about the Pilot House.

  If I make one mistake

  I could run aground or into another ship.

 

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