by Iqra Tariq
But now strangely I had started to like it
Because not seeing you at school was a pain
The clouds, the darkness, everything with you seemed brightly lit
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
42
Your most beautiful gift to me was your kissing
Whenever your cool firm lips crushed mine
My heart went racing, I felt dizzy
I couldn’t believe that someone like you was mine
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
When our lips parted in between
I used to inhale deeply your scent
I always wanted you to keep kissing me
But you felt yourself dangerous for me, so a distance you always kept
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
When your skin touched mine
Currents began to flow through me
You were most precious, utterly divine
I loved the way you looked at me
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
You gave me such pure, selfless love
I didn’t believe such love existed before I met you
There were no boundaries, no limits of your love
How crazy it felt when you said I was the life of you
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
You were perfect in other things too
What a taste in music you had
When you used to play for me your piano
Colors and beautiful emotions in my heart played
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
43
Without sleeping you had spent 90 years of your life
Hundreds of books you read, inspirational music you collected
You were the most charming, complete, genius man I had ever met in my life
The fastest Cullen, most gorgeous of all, only in you my ideal I founded
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
You had lived more than 100 years, you were immortal
Still I was the only one to touch your heart
How sincere and caring you were, extremely loyal
Over protective, extra careful, my lively and bright sweetheart
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
Your family was so nice and caring
How you dearly loved them all
I also considered it my family
“My other family”, I used to call
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
When I look back at my life before you
I wonder whether I was living at all?
Those 16 years were a waste without you
A dull, colorless life it was, all in all
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
44
I had never felt myself special before you
I didn’t believe in completely pure and selfless love
I had never dated or loved anyone before you
Because only you could give me an otherworldly love
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
I had never imagined that
Such beauty, honesty and purity existed
When you came you proved to me that
There was so much more to life that I was thinking
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
You had everything a girl could possibly dream
Beauty, love, sincerity, strength, devotion and loyalty
Were all concentrated in you to their highest degree
And you completely gave it all to me, your life you called me
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
I had never ever dreamt
That someone will give me so much love
That someone so beautiful, so pure existed
I just can’t describe it in words
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
My life was brightened by you
You became my total universe
I could dream and think only of you
I didn’t believe that someone like you I could deserve
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
45
In your love I had forgotten
My friends, my relatives, my earlier family
In you my entire world I had gotten
With you at my side I cared about nothing
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
But there was still restlessness
In my heart that I would lose you
Because I don’t deserve you, my ordinariness
My being average in everything would be the cause of losing you
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
In my heart I thought
That I am no match for you
I deserved you completely not
I wasn’t good enough for you
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
On the other hand you always thought
Yourself to be bad, dangerous for me
That you too deserved me completely not
I can’t imagine why, but this you had always told me
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
Both of our thinking were wrong
We were both made for each other
But sometimes, some things can’t go on
Like me and you living together forever
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
46
We both were lost in each other
But see what fate did to us
Your thinking that you were a mere danger
Forever parted us, forever doomed us
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
What happened with Jasper was nothing, Edward
Because you were always there to protect me
You had saved me from both James and Jasper
How could you possibly be a danger for me?
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
I know you hated the life of a vampire
You thought that one losses his soul in this
You wanted to become a human for me at any price
But as this was impossible, you should have changed me
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
And this you never accepted
You could never imagine my heart stop
You could never imagine my soul wasted
You could never imagine my warmth gone
“Come back to me, Edward come back to me”
Why? Edward, why? I need nothing of this
I only want to spend with you eternity
I loathe my being human because we were separated by this
I just want you; you were my life, my breathing
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
47
The nature was against our love
But we could change it forever
If you could ever change me, my love
We would have been together forever
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
I had seen intense love for me in your eyes
I just can’t believe that you didn’t want me
I have always seen love, my want in your eyes
And I know that a lie was nothing of this
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
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I know all those promises weren’t a lie
I know you had always been honest and truthful to me
Its impossible that your eyes could have lied
Only once you lied, in that forest, because no expression in your eyes I could see
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
At that time I was so shocked
My mind had stopped working
Not knowing, I let you go, not fought
That was the biggest mistake of me
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
You are a good liar, Edward
I had almost believed you
But when I thought afterward
I knew I could only be loved by you
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
48
The only lie you had ever told was this
That you didn’t want me, that you didn’t love me
There are only two things possible, either this
Or that ever since I had come to Forks, I had been dreaming
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
Yeah, it could all have been a dream
I had always been doubtful
That someone like you could be existing
Just for me, just to love me, how impossible
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
If you were a dream then unfortunately
I was forbidden to remember you
But I was terrified of forgetting
It was very difficult to live up to
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
Or may be I am just going crazy
May be there is something wrong with me
Someone like you, on my own, I can’t possibly imagine
I had felt your pure love and my feelings don’t deceive me
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
Someone so perfect and beautiful
My imagination just can’t create
You existed, yeah, but still I am doubtful
It was something beyond our power which made us separate
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
49
In my dreams, my nightmares, too
I am miserably looking everywhere for you
But still can’t see you, can’t reach you
Due to my horrible screams, Charlie can’t sleep, too
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
I am losing my confidence in myself
I am falling into pieces
Breaking, shattering, I am losing myself
I am still confused that you existed
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
I needed proofs so I went to find them
First, I liked living in Forks which is dark and rainy
Why? Because in sunlight I won’t be able to see you out there
Yeah, you existed, you were here with me
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
Second, the seat beside me in class
Is always empty, no one sits in there
Because it’s only you I can see in it at all
Yeah you existed, with me you were there
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
Third, my friends weren’t being friendly with me
Because it had been such a long time
Since I last sat with them; with me
You used to sit at a separate table since long time
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
50
That table is now empty
No one sits there
One of its occupants is too weak
To be all alone there
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
The sure proof I got
When I went to your meadow
It was not that beautiful without you, though not changed a lot
All the place I recognized, a blessing upon me you had endowed
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
I recognized where we most often used to lay down
Lost in each other, lost in our perfect love
I felt nauseated, pain of losing you was breaking me down
My memories were haunting me, how I had lost you, my love
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
All the flowers were there, lively, dancing, the meadow was so brightly lit
Unaware that its occupant, its most beautiful part was gone
It felt incomplete, it felt hollow, my soul was from pain trembling
And there I saw someone, your proof standing there all alone
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
51
It was Laurent, a still figure
Shining like a diamond, staring at me
At his sight, ran down through me a shiver
He was gracefully progressing towards me
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
He told me that he had been sent by Victoria
And he felt me extremely mouth watering
Although he had initially been there to asses the area
But now he was unable to resist killing me
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
So you were really there all that time
I had not simply imagined you
Someone like you was right in front of my eyes
Now I was no more confused about you
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
“How much could you mean to him?
He left you here unprotected, all alone
Surely you are not that important to him
May be you were before, but now not anymore”
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
Each of his words with all its hurt
Went like a sword through my chest
Piercing my lungs, devastating my heart
Taking away my little feeble remaining rest
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
52
But of all the world I was sure of this one thing
That I loved you completely, thoroughly, infinitely
Doesn’t matter whether or not you anymore wanted me
Just you were my whole life, my only life for eternity
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
I closed my eyes, inhaling Laurent’s scent
He was now so close, my life was about to end
“I love you, Edward, I love you”, in my heart I said
Having picture of you in my mind I braced myself for death
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
Suddenly, there was a whooshing noise
Laurent stepped back, his eyes wide
Six huge wolves were there, each unusually oversized
A russet brown wolf eyed me with some strange expression in his eyes
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
I couldn’t understand what it was trying to say
But I knew that it was the only chance for me
To save my life; from death I could only now run away
I broke into a run without a single glance behind me
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
Although the experience in the meadow was terrifying
But it had its own benefit, I had finally learned that
You weren’t merely an imagination, you were existing
Somewhere I couldn’t reach, nor I could try to find that
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me’’
53
You were a vampire, Edward
I could look for you nowhere
For my safety you had left and your moving backward
Was impossible, your decision couldn’t be changed ever
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
I didn’t give much thought on Laurent’s words
That you didn’t want me, didn’t love me
He knew very little about our love and his few words
Couldn’t break my trust in you, couldn’t break me
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
It is quite a relief to be finally unconfused
At least I am breathing in the same air as you
But it is so painful to breathe without you
It is utterly impossible to live without you
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
Time used to pass so pleasantly with you
Now each second passes like a pulse hammering behind a bruise
There were no worries, no sadness with you
Now there are just horrible screams and only tears from my eyes ooze
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
I can’t live without drowning in those gold eyes of you
I can’t live without inhaling the sweet fragrance of you
It is just impossible for my heart to beat without you
How can I live without you when there is no life without you?
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
54
I hardly sleep at all, surrounded by nightmares
The feeling of losing you has bored a hole through my chest
And when I wake up in the morning, my room without you looks bare
You are no more there with your arms open for me, how can I rest?
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
Your fragrance doesn’t prevail in my room anymore
Your Volvo doesn’t wait for me outside my home
Your love isn’t there to comfort and brighten me at school
There is no one to lay there with me in your meadow
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
The lion is gone and the lamb is lost, devastated
No one carries me on his back and run through the forest
No one is there to shine like a diamond when sun lit
I no more rest against your heart which belonged to me in your chest
“Come back to me, Edward, come back to me”
No one stays over every night and watches me sleep