Abby sighed noisily. "I don't know what to make of this."
Nathan stepped closer to Abby but she leaned away from him and raised a hand, making it obvious she didn't want him to come any closer.
Nathan froze on the spot and narrowed his eyes. "Really Abby? This soon in our marriage?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you're pushing me away. On our first morning?"
Abby wrapped her arms tight around herself. "It's not that Nathan. It's just that...well...last night. It hurt."
Nathan stepped toward Abby, but again she held him at bay.
Nathan ran a hand through his hair. "I don't know what to say about that. Except that I'm sorry if I hurt you."
Abby felt something twist in her middle. She put a hand to her chest and looked at Nathan. His gaze was intense. The casual humor of moments ago had evaporated. He was deadly serious now. She knew that.
"I know this is difficult for you Nathan. What with me being new here and all. And Lucy."
At the mention of Lucy's name Nathan's brow furrowed.
"You have to give me time," she continued. "And it looks like I have to give you time."
Nathan turned and looked over toward the corral. "You're right. I thought I was over it. But I'm not. I figured enough time had passed. Seems it hasn't. Things take time to heal." He turned back and peered deeply into her eyes. She felt a rush of heat to her face. That look was so piercing, so forceful. There was something burning up inside Nathan. "And that's what I'm doing Abby. Healing."
The final word hung between them like a physical barrier. Was that her role here.? Was she really here to help her broken husband heal? Back in Boston he'd been so strong, purposeful and determined. Abby never would have guessed at the depths of his hurt. But she could see it now. It was written on his face; she could hear it in his voice.
Abby started to walk away from the house and Nathan followed her. It would be best if they were as far away from the house as possible. She didn't want anyone to hear any of this. It was too private, too personal. He was baring his soul to her and challenging her at the same time.
They walked side by side and eventually came to a tree with a wide seat beneath it. There were two thick ropes hung on a branch with a narrow wooden seat attached. Abby figured Emma must use that as a swing. She sat down and Nathan took his place by her side.
There was a cooling breeze that came up from the valley. The air smelled fresh and clean. In any other place a conversation like this would have been dark and difficult. Here, though, in this beautiful, healing Montana land it felt to Abby that there was at least some hope that they could work things out.
"So what about these rules you were talking about," she said after a while.
Nathan nodded. "Every man has to have rules. Especially out here."
"Rules for what?"
"For living," he said bluntly.
"So what's important enough that you have to have rules for it?" she asked.
He looked straight at her. "Family is all that matters out here," he said simply. She was taken aback by the baldness of the statement.
""Family is everything. Children are everything. Faithfulness is everything. Honesty is everything. That's what I mean. If you don't have those things you won't last five minutes out here."
Abby frowned. Honesty and children. Did she have those two things to offer?
Nathan spoke again: "I had a family and I lost it. That almost broke me apart. You've seen that. Haven't you?"
Abby nodded.
"So one of my rules is, I take no chances with those closest and dearest to me," he said. "When I saw you out there with Emma this morning the first thing I thought about was danger and loss," he said.
"I didn't mean to put Emma in danger,"" Abby said defensively.
"But you did!" he declared sharply. "She was too close to the herd. Those animals can break and run and before you know it you've got a stampede on your hands. Emma could've been caught up in it."
"And me?" Abby asked. "Are you forgetting me?"
Nathan turned to her, realization written on his face. "I didn't mean that at all. If anything happened to either of you, I'd be crushed," he said, and then pausing he completed the statement with a single, softly spoken word. "Again."
Abby tried to reach out to touch him but he pulled his hands away.
Abby turned and looked out across the plain to the mountains in the far distance.
"You can have too many rules in life Nathan," she said eventually.
"Not out here. I succeeded by keeping my word and keeping to my rules. Ask any man who's made his way in this place and he'll tell you the same," he said.
"I understand that you want to protect me and Emma. You want to keep us safe."
"I need you to be honest with me too," he said. "You've been holding something back from me."
Abby stiffened. He was pushing, trying to get her to open up, to tell him the one thing she could not say to him. Not here. Not now.
"And you Nathan. Have you been straight with me?" she demanded.
Nathan's eyes narrowed. "What are you talking about?"
"Last night. Why did you turn your back on me the way you did?"
"I didn't turn my back on you. You can't understand what it means to have lost someone. The possibilities that have been taken away from you. How that hurts," he said. His voice cracked and Abby swallowed. This was getting too intense.
Abby shook her head. "There is where you are wrong, Nathan. I know exactly what it means to have possibilities taken away from me," she blurted out.
Nathan frowned. "What do you mean?"
Abby's lips tightened into thin lines. She couldn't tell him now. Not here. She had almost let it slip. The emotion of the moment was beginning to overtake her, overwhelm her self control. She tried to compose herself.
"I know what it feels like to be stifled by society; what it means to have freedom taken away from you. Boston was never a place I felt comfortable in. I always yearned for something else. That's what made me contact you. Life out here seemed to promise so much."
Nathan nodded. "It doesn't just promise. It delivers. But only if you have rules and keep your promises," he said.
Abby reached over, and this time Nathan didn't draw his hand away. "I promised to be the best possible wife I could be to you, didn't I?" she asked.
Nathan nodded wordlessly.
Abby continued: "And I will try my darnedest Nathan. I will. You must believe me."
Nathan leaned over and kissed Abby, gently, his lips caressing her lips with the most tender of touches.
"We can work together on this," she said after their lips parted. "Time is a great healer, Nathan. Trust me," she said.
Nathan looked intently at her. "Can I trust you Abby. Can I really?"
"What?"
"I can't trust you if there is anything between us. I need to be sure. Out here you learn to see through pretence. You can smell a lie from a mile off," he said.
Abby frowned. "I'm not lying to you about anything Nathan," she argued.
"Then tell me what is bothering you. What is it you aren't telling me?"
Abby sighed. "Please Nathan. Not now. Not here."
"If not here, then where Abby. I need to know what's lurking in that mind of yours. I saw it last night," he said.
"What do you mean?"
"I could see it in your eyes. There is something you're holding back."
Abby stood and took a few steps away. She raised her head up and gazed through the branches of the tree.
She couldn't speak. She would not speak of that. Not on their first full day as a married couple.
She looked back at Nathan. He was gazing at her, expectant, awaiting an answer. But he wasn't going to get one.
After a long silence they started to make their way back toward the ranch house.
CHAPTER TWELVE
There were two horses tied up to the hitching rail outside the front of the house. Abby and Nat
han walked slowly side by side across the front yard.
"Well. I'll be..." Nathan said.
"What is it?"
"We've got visitors," Nathan said.
"Who?"
"Look's like a couple of our neighbours have come to call," he said.
Nathan paused in front of the house and took both Abby's hands. "Look. Let's put the last half hour behind us for now."
Abby's eyes narrowed. "Why?"
"We're a happy couple. Remember?"
"Of course we are."
"Let's just make it real obvious. The two guys who've come visiting are friends. They're also rivals."
"Who are they?"
"Ranchers"
"More ranchers? How many ranchers are there in this place?"
"These guys own spreads like mine. They both adjoin mine. We've had some conflicts over water and such like over the years, but their good guys. Most of the time," he ended with a frown.
"What are they doing here?"
"They're probably here to give us some good wishes about the marriage. But there's always been what you might call a friendly rivalry between us. Just keep your distance from Trent. That's all I'll say."
"Why Trent?"
Nathan sighed. "He's the kind of guy that's good in business. The problem is he knows what he likes when it comes to women. He's never married and he likes flirting." Nathan said raising his eyebrows.
Abby frowned. "You don't think..."
"All I'm saying is he likes to charm the ladies. He's got a real reputation around these parts."
"But we're married. He wouldn't dare..."
"Hold on there. I don't mean anything by it. Just don't pay much attention to what he says. Okay?"
Abby nodded. "Who's the other one."
"Devlin. He's a sensible type. His spread is probably even bigger than mine. He's not like Trent. Devlin had a plain bad experience with a woman. Just a few months ago. She up and left him just before they were going to get hitched."
Abby was shocked. "You mean she left him in the lurch?"
Nathan nodded. "Yup. Day of the wedding she called it off and ran out on him. So you can imagine he isn't to enamored with women at the moment."
"That must have hurt."
"He'll survive. He's a hard working critter. Anyway. Let's go in and get it over with."
He took Abby by the elbow and led her inside.
They were all in the kitchen where Mrs.Wardle was feeding the two visitors some apple pie.
The two men slid their seats back and stood upon seeing the newly wed couple enter.
"Well I'll be darned. There he is," the taller of the two men called out. He was dark haired, even featured with tanned skin. He was well dressed in immaculately pressed trousers and a clean white shirt, open at the throat. His white even teeth shone in a broad smile. He shot a look at Abby, appraising her up and down. Abby shifted uncomfortably. It looked like the man approved of what he saw.
Nathan gestured to the two men. "Abby. I'd like to introduce Trent and Devlin. Two of the most dishonorable hunks of male flesh this side of Billings."
Both men laughed. "Trent," said the taller of the two men. "It's a real pleasure to make your acquaintance Mrs.Grantly." Trent cut Nathan with a sharp look and then smiled.
Abby smiled. "Just call me Abby."
The other man stepped forward. He was almost as tall as Trent. He was lean and wide shouldered, casually dressed in jeans and well worn shirt. His eyes were softer and less bright than Trent's. He smiled warmly at Abby. "Devlin. Pleasure to meet you ma'am," he said. His voice was deep and slow.
Both men were devastatingly handsome! What was it about Montana ranchers?
Trent came over to Nathan and punched him lightly on the upper arm. "You never told us you were going to get married," he said with a taunting grin. "I thought you'd gone off to buy some more livestock."
Nathan rolled his eyes. "After your recent buying there'd be none left to buy, Trent.
"How was your trip out to Montana Mrs.Grantly?" Asked Devlin. Abby immediately saw that he was the more thoughtful of the two ranchers. "Oh it was fine Devlin. Please call me Abby," she said.
Devlin nodded. "How do like the place?"
Abby sighed. "It's more beautiful than I could have imagined," she said.
Trent quirked a brow and gave her another look of appreciation. "Well you fit right in here Abby. Beauty just got bigger in Montana after your arrival.
Nathan cleared his throat. "Now Trent, what have I told you before? he teased but with a firm tone. "Don't go embarrassing my new wife."
"I never would," Trent said and turned to the other rancher "Isn't that right Devlin."
"You got a reputation to maintain Trent. Ain't nothing going to make you change your ways I guess."
Trent shook his head. "Sorry Abby. I guess I lack the manners you might be used to back in Boston."
Abby smiled. "I understand. It's okay Trent."
Mrs.Wardle interrupted them. "Anyone else for pie?"
They sat down at the table and Mrs.Wardle served more portions. Trent and Devlin wanted to know all about Nathan's trip to Boston and the wedding. Nathan gave them some details but Abby noticed he kept a lot to himself. He was being real careful what he was saying to his two rival businessmen.
Then the talk shifted to ranching. Abby couldn't follow what was being said about cattle welfare and the upcoming trips to market. It seemed like now was a good time to sell and the men were pleased that all their labors would pay off. The talk of business trailed off. Abby decided to change the subject.
"So Trent. When are you going to be getting married," Abby leaned her elbows on the table and squinted at him.
Trent just about choked on his coffee and took a few moments to compose himself. "Marriage? Me?" he asked trying to contain his laughter. "Well I don't rightly know Abby. I'll just have to wait until true love strikes I guess. So far...unfortunately... it has eluded me," he concluded with an ironic tone of voice.
Nathan and Devlin gave each other a knowing look. They were both trying to stop themselves from bursting out laughing.
Abby decided to tease Trent even more. "I'm sure there'll be dozens of women hereabouts who would just love to be your wife," she said. "Failing that, you could do what Nathan did. Find a mail order bride. Back East there're lots of women who would love to marry a handsome Montana rancher. Isn't that right Nathan," Abby said turning to her husband.
Nathan was having real trouble keeping a straight face. "Absolutely Abby. I'm sure Trent could be married before the fall if he put his mind to it," he said. "That sounds great doesn't it Trent?"
Trent took in a deep breath and then cleared his throat. "I think I best be going," he said laying his coffee cup down. "I've got some branding to supervise."
Trent stood and bowed to Abby. "It's been a pleasure to meet you. Congratulations to you both," he said.
Devlin stood and said his goodbyes and left with Trent.
Abby and Nathan stood on the porch and watched the two men ride off.
"Well. That went well," Abby said. Nathan laughed. "One way to put the wind up Trent is to talk about settling down."
"They both seem like good men," Abby said.
"They are in their own ways."
Now that the two men had left Abby's mind went back to the talk at the tree. With nothing to distract Nathan she worried that he'd pick up where he'd left off. She didn't feel like having an awkward conversation with him.
"I promised Emma I'd spend some time with her. Just mama and daughter," she said.
Nathan's mouth opened as if were going to say something. He paused then said: "Mother and daughter?" There was a thoughtful expression in his eyes. "That sounds good. Just you and Emma?"
"Mmmm. I guess she wants to get to know her new mama,"Abby said.
Nathan put an arm around her but he didn't seem entirely convinced. "I don't blame her. But I am jealous. We'll get some time together later. Mmm?"
Abby
glanced away. "Sure."
Nathan leaned in and kissed Abby on the forehead. "You enjoy your time with Emma. I'll see you later," he said.
As she watched him walk off towards the corral to get his horse, Abby wondered if she would see him later that day.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
"Let me show you this, mama," Emma said reaching into the trunk. Abby was in Emma's bedroom. It was the typical room of a young, growing girl. There was stuff everywhere.
Nathan had obviously spared no expense when it came to making sure that Emma had everything she wanted. In fact it looked like he just might have spoiled her. Given what the little girl had passed through in losing her real mother, it was the least she deserved.
Emma pulled out a doll. It was a pretty porcelain faced girl, dressed in a charming, elegant floral patterned outfit.
"Isn't she pretty?" Emma asked.
Abby took the doll and examined it aware that Emma was watching her closely. "It's the prettiest doll I've ever seen," Abby said.
Emma sighed with satisfaction.
She immediately set about digging even more dolls. Abby had never seen so many. She certainly hadn't had as many when she was growing up in Boston. Then again, her father had discouraged the presence of too many toys in the house. Neither Florence nor Abby had had the typical upbringing of a Boston girl.
Abby was pleased that Emma was growing up in a place like Montana. Deep down Abby was intensely jealous of Emma. How lucky the little girl was to be spared the indignities of polite society. Emma could roam the fine Montana landscape safe and happy, free from social pressure and the heavy weight of expectations.
Abby was pleased with her decision to come up to Emma's room and really get to know the little girl in her own private space. She figured there would be no better way to understand Emma.
Emma dug out a folder which contained her own paintings and drawings. Emma laid out her paintings on the floor like a proper art display. There were drawings of flowers, simple colorful landscapes with mountains and large yellow suns.
Abby was impressed. "These are amazing Emma," she said wrapping an arm around Emma's shoulders and drawing her closer.
Nathan’s Montana Bride (Sweet Historical Mail Order Bride Romance) (Montana Ranchers Brides series) Page 6