by C. R. Ellis
“Wanna go to the movies with Henry and me to get your mind off Bradley?”
“Jas, tagging along as the third wheel on a date? What am I, your kid sister you have to babysit? Pass. I’m going home to cuddle and watch SVU reruns with Triton. What about tomorrow night?”
Being best friends with someone for almost twenty years usually meant Jasmine could read my mind and emotions like nobody else. When we were seven, Jasmine pushed Robert Peterson off the playscape at school after he pinned me down and tried to kiss me. The following weekend, she came over for a sleepover and we discovered a mutual obsession with the idea of weddings. We’d been inseparable ever since.
Jasmine eyed me for a few moments before finally relenting. “Fine. But don’t think I’m going to let you get out of having a girls’ night tomorrow. It’s happening, even if I have to drag you out.”
I had no doubt she’d actually follow through with her threat, if necessary.
Most of the time, I loved my life as a wedding planner and owning my own business, even with the never-ending hours and countless late nights. I got to help couples plan for the happiest time in their lives, and work with my best friend in an office we had poured our hearts and souls into. We were so young and hopeful when we came up with our plan to open a wedding planning business together. Young, hopeful, and we just knew we would conquer the world. Or at least the wedding world.
We couldn’t have known that one day we’d eventually realize our goal, that we’d own and operate a successful business called Forget Me Knot Weddings. I constantly reminded myself how lucky I was to be living my childhood dream alongside my best friend and loving every minute of it.
Our assistant, Elliot, still worked away at her desk when we headed for the door to leave. “El, come on, it’s 5:30 on a Friday afternoon. Go out and have some fun.”
Elliot had been a godsend when she started interning with us last year. She had graduated college a few months ago, and started full-time as our assistant. She always arrived early, worked tirelessly, had patience with brides, and best of all, always got my favorite Starbucks drink when I needed it most. I had no idea what we’d do without our blonde super-girl assistant.
“Okay, Jade, I’m right behind you. Ten more minutes and I’m gone, promise.” She looked up from her computer screen. “I think you should take your own advice and go have some fun of your own, for once.”
“The recluse is actually coming out tomorrow night,” Jasmine quipped. “You can bring your man and join us if you want.”
Elliot wisely swallowed her surprise. “Well, we’re supposed to meet some friends and hit the lake. I’ll let y’all know if I have any energy after we get back.”
“You can’t keep him away from us forever, El!”
“Not forever; just until I’m confident Jade isn’t going to have her detective brother do some extensive background check on him,” Elliot shot back.
“That was one time! And you were twenty-one going on a date with a thirty-three-year-old. If I recall correctly, a background check would’ve saved you from going on a date with a Peter Pan wannabe who still gave his laundry to his mom every week,” I said, cutting my eyes to her.
“I didn’t know he was thirty-three when I agreed to go out with him! Or unemployed,” she whined, though she couldn’t quite hide the smile from her eyes.
I smirked. “But you did know by the time you went out with him. You’re welcome.”
Before Elliot could reply, Jas pushed me toward the door. “Okay, we’re out of here. Elliot, text us about tomorrow, but no pressure. I wouldn’t want to see our faces on a wedding-free weekend, either, if I were you.”
It was on the tip of my tongue to ask Jasmine if she really thought I was a recluse when her phone rang. I could tell it was Henry by her ridiculous giggle. Instead, I wordlessly mimed that I’d see her tomorrow and hauled ass to my car before the Texas sun melted me into the sidewalk.
The last thing I heard her say was something along the lines of ditching plans to see the movie and going to his place instead. Typical Jas—she preferred to keep her relationships limited in scope, and mostly physical. She’d be totally into a guy for a while, then drop him at the slightest inkling of things getting too serious. From the outside, you’d call her fickle and shallow. But I knew her better than anyone, and I knew it went beyond an inability to be happy with what she had. Sometimes I had a feeling she purposefully made sure she didn’t let herself be happy for too long. What I didn’t know for sure was why my best friend treated her heart like discarded trash, unworthy of being given to anyone.
Chapter 2
Jade
Triton greeted me with an endless supply of drool and a bruising tail thump. I wanted to skip our evening run, thanks to the insane heat that enveloped me after leaving the office, but I couldn’t bail on Triton. He lived for runs at the lake.
Plus, my body and mind craved the freedom I felt from running.
Freedom from the stress of work. Freedom from thoughts of Andrew.
Freedom from the brokenness this day brought me three years ago.
Thirty minutes later, Triton was all doggy smiles and bouncy energy as I clipped his leash into place and finished stretching.
Today, I’d push my limits and run until my legs screamed for mercy. Each year I repeated the promise I’d made to myself—I wouldn’t become jaded by what happened, even if I didn’t want to believe in love some days.
There was no escaping love given my career; sending happy couples off into the sunset day after day was excruciating after my own happily ever after was destroyed, but eventually the pain lessened, and seeing happy couples gave me hope of finding love again. Or maybe I was just a masochist, willingly tethered to the reminders of my heartbreak by a career made possible by the very emotion responsible for my broken heart.
Luckily, my days were prone to be filled with hope and light, and the days where doubt and hurt won out were fewer and farther between. I finally realized I wasn’t to blame for Andrew leaving, I wasn’t responsible for his actions.
When I felt like my legs were about to fall off and fat beads of sweat flew from my arms in all directions, I came to a stop. I pulled my headphones out of my ears and checked my phone for the time, but instead saw another text from Bradley.
I was debating if I should respond when my phone rang. Bradley’s name flashed on my screen and my stomach churned. I swiped the screen and answered.
“Hi,” I drawled slowly after stepping off the jogging path.
“So you are alive,” his clipped voice replied, full of annoyance. Okay, I guess I deserved that. “I don’t appreciate your childish games, Jade. You’re too old to be ignoring my texts, and frankly, it’s a bit of a turn off.”
Whoa. I deserved annoyance, but his blatant rudeness caught me off guard. How does he know something horrible hadn’t happened to me?
Annoyance flared within me. Apparently, he didn’t realize his excessive texting was also a turn off. Even so, I managed to suppress the frustration bubbling up inside my veins. Maybe I could gracefully end our conversation and salvage a semblance of peace from my run. “I’ve been busy, Bradley. I’m out for a run right now, can we talk later?”
“You know what? No. You’re hot and I thought you’d be an easy lay like your friend, and you were. But now you’re becoming more trouble than you’re worth. I’m not interested in working for it, so let’s just agree to go our separate ways amicably.”
My jaw dropped. Angry tears gathered in my eyes, which was absurd because I had no intention of seeing him again anyway. I shouldn’t give a damn about what he thought or said, but his degrading words crawled under my skin and gnawed on my bones. You’re becoming more trouble than you’re worth.
“Are you kidding me? Amicably? Let me get this straight. You practically call my best friend and me whores, follow that endearing comment by saying I’m not worth the effort of a phone call, and then you say you want to part ways amicably? No. Just no. Go fuck yo
urself, Bradley.”
I hung up before he could respond.
Triton whined, reminding me where we were and shifting my focus back to him. I stuffed my phone back in my armband and attempted to regulate my breathing. I tried to focus on my surroundings, on the strangers running by, on the serenity of the lake, on the sounds of nature all around, but nothing worked.
My legs reacted of their own accord and started running again, chasing the peace Bradley stole. Sure enough, a black hole formed in my mind and sucked away the negative energy from our conversation, and even the residual thoughts of Andrew. Everything slipped away, and my breathing matched my strides, giving me more freedom and peace with each step.
Twenty minutes later I felt like a new person. I’d cleansed my mind of all things negative and was determined to hold on to my improved mood.
“Ready to go for a swim, Triton?” Taking his tail-wag as a yes, I looked around and found a deserted area where he could jump in and swim freely. The instant I unclipped his leash he bolted for the water, anticipating the plop of the stick he knew I’d throw.
No more casual flings, I told myself. If I was ever going to be happy again, I needed to get real about what I wanted in a relationship. I needed guidelines to follow to prevent me from falling into the trap of dating losers like Bradley.
Rules of romance.
Guidelines, like avoiding guys whose profiles expressed interest in finding someone to Netflix and chill with. Rules to steer clear of dates with men who weren’t willing to talk about their future.
I slipped into autopilot as I contemplated my new “rules of romance.” A split-second after leaving my hand, I realized the stick I was throwing for Triton was headed straight for a guy passing by on the lake in a kayak.
“Hey! Heads up!” I yelled frantically.
He looked over at me at the exact moment the stick nailed him in the head, right along the top of his forehead. My mouth fell open as the scene played out in what felt like slow-motion. He jerked back at the impact, making his kayak tilt and dump him out. Without thinking, I launched myself into the water and paddled to my victim as he surfaced.
“Oh my god, I am so sorry,” I blurted, horrified. “Are you okay?” I was close enough to inspect his head, but stopped myself from getting within his personal space. I half expected to see his head gushing blood, but to my relief there wasn’t a red stain in the water.
“I think I’ll live,” he responded, eyeing me as he gingerly felt the spot where the stick hit him. “Tell me, do you always try to take out unsuspecting kayakers?” He grabbed the front of the kayak and headed toward land.
“What? No! I was throwing the stick for my dog,” I clarified, nodding my head in Triton’s direction. “I didn’t mean to hit you.”
His full lips twisted into a smile and his eyes softened. His smile was the kind of beautiful that stays with you long after it vanishes. “I’m just messing with you. I know it was an accident.”
“Oh. Right,” I murmured. I glanced over and sucked in a breath at the sight of him. Not only did he have the most beautiful smile, but his upper body was equally as impressive, looking like it’d been chiseled from stone. His abs were impeccably defined, and the corded muscles of his arms and shoulders were nothing short of perfection. His hair was a wet mass going in all directions, and was a dirty blondish shade that paired perfectly with his bright blue eyes. Realizing I was staring, I whipped my head away from his body and diverted my attention to Triton, who had lost interest in finding the stick, and was paddling his way back to land.
I couldn’t stop the heat from creeping into my cheeks when he caught me staring. “Well, um, I’m glad there’s no permanent damage.” Because marring a face as gorgeous as his would’ve been a crime. “You’re lucky I wasn’t throwing that stick,” I joked, gesturing to a nearby piece of a branch that had fallen off of a giant oak tree.
He smirked at my comment. “Seriously, don’t feel bad. I should’ve been paying more attention.”
“I should’ve been paying attention too. I don’t know what I was thinking. Actually, I wasn’t thinking. Not about what I was doing, anyway. Sometimes I let my thoughts wander on runs, and I must have still been in the zone,” I explained with a regretful shrug. I sighed, remembering what exactly was on my mind before throwing the stick. “It’s just been one of those days where a marathon wouldn’t be enough to help me work through all the shit life’s thrown my way. I mean, I love my life. It’s just, sometimes shit muddies the water just enough to make it feel impossible to focus on the good.” I paused, realizing I’d just rambled on like an idiot to a perfect stranger. A perfectly hot stranger. I slid my gaze away from his; he was studying me like I should be locked up as an exhibit at the zoo. Come see the looney, rambling lady! “I sound like a total crazy person. Did what I was saying make any sense at all?”
For some reason, I wanted to know his answer more than I wanted to see his smile again. And I really wanted to see his smile again.
He nodded and I caught his eyes flicker down my body. My skin prickled with goose bumps, and I tried to convince myself they were from the breeze, not his gaze. I twisted my hands, needing something to do with them.
“Running’s an outlet for you, an escape. I’m the same way when I run,” he admitted, directing his attention back to me. Judging by his impeccable physique, he did his fair share of running. “But I also know what it’s like to have days where even running isn’t enough. Where you feel like you’re sinking without a lifeline.”
He knew exactly what I meant.
I’d never tried to articulate those feelings, but he’d done so with ease.
“Exactly. What do you do on those days, when running isn’t enough to keep you afloat?” I asked sincerely, squeezing some of the water out of my shirt.
He sighed and shook his head, sending water flying from his damp locks. “You have to realize you’re enough. Realize those days allow you to rise from the ashes and recognize that while you can’t control everything, you are in charge of your own destiny.”
I inhaled sharply.
That was unexpected.
The words were heavy, but he spoke them casually, like he felt completely at ease having this conversation with a stranger who nearly took his head off. I tried to wrap my mind around the deep words of this intriguing, mysterious stranger.
Was I in charge of my own destiny?
“And that works for you?” I asked. “Just picking up the pieces and telling yourself you’ve got everything under control?”
He shrugged. The muscles in his back flexed momentarily, beckoning my eyes back to his body. The fact that he had little clothing on right now was the universe making up for me having to deal with Bradley. Or at least that’s what I told myself, because how could I be ungrateful to the universe by ignoring its gift?
“Sometimes telling myself I’m in control does the trick for me,” he said, answering my question. “Clearly, I ended up on the sinking side of things today.” He shrugged and arched an eyebrow. His tone was teasing, and I caught a flash of a smirk.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “What, you don’t think your destiny was to be dumped into the lake at the hands of my wayward stick?”
He didn’t respond right away, and I could tell he was considering his answer. “You never know, I guess. Sometimes fate surprises us, apparently.”
Can you say cryptic?
His forehead wrinkled, and his eyes narrowed almost imperceptibly as his gaze shifted out to the water. I could tell he was withdrawing, retreating from this increasingly personal conversation. An easy, almost comfortable silence fell over us. We sat together, but not too close.
He looked over in my direction before breaking the silence. “You didn’t have to jump in, you know. But, uh, thanks for coming to my rescue, I guess.”
My heart started jumping in my chest when his lips twisted into a grin. Shit, heart. Be cool. I shrugged again, trying to downplay what now felt like an overreaction. “I ma
de you capsize, so it was the least I could do. Plus, I needed an excuse to jump in and cool off. I don’t know what I was thinking, going for a run right now. I’m pretty sure this heat could give the Sahara a run for its money.”
Oh good, Jade, keep rambling. I bit my lip to make myself shut up.
He laughed, and I felt myself melt a little. I wanted to replay the sound over and over again. “Ah. The truth comes out. Well, in that case, you’re welcome,” he teased with a mini-bow.
“Um, thanks, I guess.” Chuckling, I stood. I felt way too comfortable talking to this handsome stranger. I had to remind myself that’s exactly what he was—a stranger—no matter how easy he was to talk to or look at. “Well, we should probably get going. Sorry again for the whole stick-to-the-head fiasco.”
“Yeah, I should probably get back to my friends.” He turned to me again before hopping in the kayak. “Maybe next time you could just bring a swimsuit instead of taking my head off,” he suggested with a playful, too-adorable-for-words half-smirk.
I shook my head and waved off his comment, but felt my lips twitch into a smile. “I’ll have to keep that in mind.”
He sat in his kayak, his blue eyes studying me with an oddly conflicted, indecisive look. “Hey, you wouldn’t—”
Before he could finish his sentence, a guy in another kayak approached and cut him off. “Hey, man! There you are. We were wondering what happened to you.”
“I’m here, just took a quick dip,” he explained with a wink.
His friend looked back and forth between the two of us, then gestured toward another kayaker in the distance. “Well, come on, we’re going to be late.”
“Okay, I’ll be right there.“ He quickly angled his head back to me and flicked his wrist in a wave. “Next time running isn’t enough, just remember, you’re the one in control of your own destiny,” he called before turning to catch up with his friend.
I could’ve sworn a look of regret swept quickly across his features.