by Rae Brooks
With another smile, she nodded to him. Her eyes were alive with thought, though she wasn’t permitted to say anything aloud, as per their agreement. “I am going to find out who you are,” she whispered. “And then I am going to seduce you.” Her tone was playful, but he felt all kinds of threatened.
Without bothering to respond, mostly because he didn’t trust himself to, Lee turned and headed back to the Shining District. He didn’t have to look back to know that she was staring at him as he went, and he could feel her eyes until he ducked out of her sight. When had she started affecting him like this?
I have enough distractions right now! I do not need another one. Especially in the form of a small, attractive red-haired girl. The last thing I need is a romantic relationship—let alone one with an informant!
Returning to his room and pushing her out of his mind, he opened the slips of paper that she’d handed him. He read them near the torch, glancing momentarily at the flame. The words before him were worth the journey.
Aelic is a girl.
She has feelings for the boy she stays with, and he for her.
Most of it after those two huge revelations were just updates on the nobles that had entered and left Dark District. None of them were out of the ordinary, Lee noted with dismay. Though, he was sure that someone was watching Calis. He’d have to warn the prince, and he’d have to warn him that he didn’t know who.
Then, he read the last piece of information scrawled on the page, and this one was in a red pen.
Lavus knows. He only knows of the relationship, not of the participants.
Lee could hear her voice, soothing him, trying to promise him that they weren’t all about to go out with a fiery explosion. He had to find a way to salvage this. He had to figure out who followed Calis, and how they had done so without alerting any of his informants.
Calis needed to know now.
“Aleia grew to hate the lands that she watched war upon themselves, for none of them understood her direction unless she disguised it. So she disguised it.”
-A Hero’s Peace v.i
Chapter xxxvii
Calis Tsrali
“How?” Calis snarled. His mind was racing. Lee was standing before him, but he could hardly focus on his advisor. Calis had never felt so much anger, or pain, in his life. Flickers of Kilik flashed before his eyes in rapid succession. As if he hadn’t been torn apart enough by Kilik’s recent inability to sleep, or do much of anything, without falling prey to the bloody Magister influencing his mind. Kilik had been trying harder than ever to push Calis away, and now Calis found himself worrying that he ought to have left Kilik alone. What would Lavus do? How could he protect Kilik? He would find a way. If he must, he would kill Lavus. “How did this happen? By the Light, this is my fault!” He slammed a fist into the wall of his room.
Tears unbidden stung at his eyes, and he tried fervently to ignore them. He had established a rule long ago that he would not cry in front of Lee. He had hoped that he wouldn’t cry at all, but Kilik had taken care of that. “It isn’t your fault,” Lee whispered. “No one knows it’s Kilik. He isn’t in danger. From what I’ve gathered, your father doesn’t want to make a scene of this. He’s hoping to convince you without a fight that you have to cut it off.
Calis shook his head. It didn’t matter what he said or did in his father’s presence. He would be prohibited from seeing Kilik, and if he ventured out to see the boy—then he would be placing Kilik in unnecessary danger. But he would see him again. He would leave. He would leave Telandus. He’d help Kilik from beyond the city walls. “I have to see him. I have to go.”
“Calis!” Lee snapped. “Don’t be absurd. You haven’t even spoken with Lavus about it. Stop being impulsive.”
Lee’s advice had never failed Calis before, and he was sure that he ought to at least calm his father. Perhaps if he was amiable, then Lavus would be less likely to pursue him. Surely, he could dissolve this one last situation. Even if he couldn’t, though, it would not matter—not to him.
A knock at the door caused both of them, even Lee, to jump a little bit. When Calis responded, the voice was from a servant that he didn’t recognize. “Prince Calis?” the man asked, “your father requests your audience immediately.”
Lee and Calis exchanged a glance. This would be it—this would be his one chance to keep Kilik out of trouble. He had to handle this properly, or he’d never get out of the city. But he didn’t know what he could say to his father to assuage this. His fists clenched, and then he started towards the door. There was no sense delaying this, as every extra moment would cause his father another ounce of anger.
Calis had never heard of anger killing anyone, and if it had, Calis would certainly have tried to use it to kill his father. But for now, he had to do this correctly. He took a deep breath as he reached the door, and then he put his hand on the handle. “Wait,” Lee said, “what do you intend to do?”
“I’m not sure,” Calis said. “I’m going to try and handle this appropriately. But, I don’t know, Lee. You know how I am when it comes to my father—I just… I’m not sure what I’m going to say. But when this is over, I have to see—you know what I have to do.”
Lee jerked his hand upwards, obviously indicating that Calis shouldn’t declare that so openly. That was true, as he’d obviously been stalked well enough to have his relationship found out. Though, he was careless for involving Kilik in that anyway, when he thought about it. He should have been smarter. The idea of anything happening to Kilik felt like a knife in his chest. “Calis, I just… don’t say anything that you can’t take back.”
“Why not?” Calis asked harshly. Lee wasn’t the type to get sentimental. His advisor looked worried, though, and he seemed opposed to Calis saying anything negative to Lavus. There had to be a reason for this, but Calis couldn’t be sure.
Lee let out a breath, and then he shook his head. He looked as though he were trying to shake something free of his mind. “Just make sure you aren’t stuck within the walls, without guards up your ass,” he whispered. His voice was so soft that Calis strained to hear it. Calis was confident that his voice could not have gotten that low if he’d practiced for suns.
Rather than wondering, he just nodded to Lee. Lee had his reasons, and so did everyone else. The problem now was that Lavus knew about his relationship with Kilik, and it was up to Calis to make sure that Kilik didn’t pay for his stupidity.
The walk to his father’s room felt longer than usual. Words bubbled and died in his throat. He thought of drawing his sword and fighting his father, here, in the castle. But no, he would never survive. Despite his father’s inability to command loyalty to those outside his castle, he did have a power over the men who lived here. Calis would die, and he would not be able to protect Kilik from whatever was ailing him.
No, Lee was right. Whatever Calis said here had to be thought-out. He couldn’t just scream whatever came into his mind. He had to be careful, and he had to be smart. Despite how much Kilik affected him emotionally, he couldn’t let that guide what he said in this encounter with his father.
An eternity later, he opened the door to the throne room, where Lavus had insisted they meet. The throne room ought not be the most private room in the castle, but due to Lavus’s influence, it was. He walked up to the throne, eyes narrowed, expecting the worst and clenching his body to handle whatever happened. “You errant, insolent child! Do you have any idea what you have caused? I ought to have you hanged!”
But you won’t, Calis thought, because you need me.
He did not react immediately. Instead, he let his eyes flit across his father’s face. Lavus was just as mad as he’d predicted, but Calis thought he might have a chance if he handled this the right way. “I have emotions, Father. They needed meeting, and you offered me no way of doing that!”
Lavus’s eyes burned with fury as they regarded Calis. They considered his words carefully, though, before he shouted more insults. “Emotions?” he thundered. “A
nd to think I thought you were stronger than that!” Then, he laughed. “A filthy peasant is enough to satiate those emotions? If you wanted it, you could have had any man or woman in the castle—and yet you went to frolic with some street rat!”
Hearing Kilik referred to as a street rat caused a spasm of anger to run through his body. He calmed himself, though. He couldn’t let his anger get the better of him. “That street rat…” He started, and then he realized that he ought to draw as much attention from Kilik as possible. “I… I did not want to ruin any relations with the nobles in the castle. I thought it was the only way.”
“You could have sullied our name. If I had not worked so hard to keep this from spreading, you would be a laughingstock! Do you understand that? Even now, there are rumors circulating.” Lavus walked down the steps commandingly, and then his fist snapped across Calis’s jaw for the second time in a cycle.
The muscles within Calis’s jaw flexed, and then he shook his head to shake off the blow. He could do this. He had to do this. His father, despite being insane, seemed as though he might be relaxing. “You are the crown prince! If Lady Avyon had found out about your dealings with sewer rats, then she would surely rebuke you.”
Despite wanting to feign horror at this thought, Calis did nothing. His face just kept itself drawn into the same flat, expressionless mask. “It wasn’t my intention to offend anyone.”
“You have offended me,” Lavus growled. “That is the worst crime that you could possibly commit.” His voice was sharp, and Calis could feel the anger bubbling through it. But it was dying, he thought, slowly. Though, he assumed the conversation may be heading for a crescendo that he didn’t want.
Calis held in his sigh. He couldn’t express anything, or he risked Lavus flying off the handle. He would be placed under arrest, and he knew it, if he did anything out of line. He couldn’t be under arrest. He had to get back to Kilik. “For what it’s worth, Father, you have my sincerest apologies. I wasn’t thinking. I just wanted…”
“You just wanted to have fun? You just wanted to neglect your responsibilities. You are turning into your brother!” Lavus snapped. Calis winced at the accusation, though he’d love to quote all of Tareth’s misdemeanors and mention how pathetic it was that Tareth committed them while actively trying to please Lavus. Calis made no such effort, and at least Kilik was worth it.
Calis took a breath, unable to remain completely expressionless in such close proximity with his father. Lavus’s face was in his own, and he could scarcely breathe without spitting on his father. The man had apparently lost all concept of personal space. “I got used to more freedom in Dokak.”
“Is it Miss Avyon you have fault with?”
“Of course not,” Calis disagreed quickly. His heart was pounding at the question of where this was going. Lavus had a plan, and he intended to end this conversation without a doubt in his mind that he’d won. Calis could feel dread snaking its way up into his body and mind. He wanted to hit his father—he wanted the man before him dead.
Then, panic exploded through him. What if Lee had outdated information? What if Lavus knew precisely who Kilik was and intended to kill him? That would ensure that Calis saw the consequences of his actions. But no, Calis would kill everyone present before he allowed harm to come to Kilik. He would stop this. “Then, you simply admit to your unruly behavior being foolish and ill-timed?”
“Yes,” Calis replied sharply. His breath felt short, and he wasn’t sure that he wasn’t about to collapse from his heart slamming against his chest with too much force. Surely, this wasn’t healthy. He needed to make sure that Kilik was alright.
Lavus drew backwards, and his eyes were narrowed into slits. Calis met them without thought. His expression was blank, and he made sure to keep challenge as far from it as he could. He had been told that his gaze was challenging in itself, so he worked to make sure that was not the case as he stood before his father now. “And this peasant boy—you feel nothing for him? You realize I will force you to cut off contact?”
Calis tried to keep the emotion from his eyes. He would see Kilik again, whether his father permitted it or not. And he forced the lie from his lips with indisputable certainty. “Nothing,” he said. “He was a means to an end.”
“I ought to find this boy and have him hanged for thinking he had the right to touch a prince, let alone lay with one.” Lavus’s eyes narrowed. The thought sent so much pain coursing through Calis’s body that he didn’t know if he could remain standing.
He did, though. Don’t react! His mind was screaming at his heart, begging it to heel. He couldn’t let his father get the better of him. Lavus had been unable to get the better of Calis before, and he would not do so now. “If you feel that is necessary,” Calis said indifferently. “I suppose that would make my life easier.”
This seemed to satiate Lavus. He smirked as he observed his son. Somehow, Calis had managed to take all of his feelings for Kilik and hide them just beneath the surface of his eyes—his face. They felt as though they might strangle him, though. I have to protect him. I have to. Their eyes, father and son, remained on one another for a long moment.
“I suppose it would be lesson enough to him for you to disappear. Does he, at least, have feelings for you?”
Calis wasn’t sure of the correct answer to this. Lavus wanted to cause Kilik pain, clearly. So, if Kilik wasn’t punished emotionally—then physical means would be set out. No, in this hypothetical situation, Kilik had to be deeply hurt by the very idea that Calis would not go back to him. “Of course he does, Father,” Calis said quickly. “I think he is in love with me.”
Once again, he’d found the right words. Lavus’s eyes were alight with amusement. Calis was having a hard time breathing, but somehow, his entirely false words kept spilling from his mouth. A primal, untapped need to protect Kilik prevented him from putting his lover in danger here. “And people say that noblemen can’t charm peasants.”
Calis was sure that no other man or woman in Dark District, or the Shining District, could have wooed Kilik like he had. No one else would have had the power to overcome all of those barriers. Calis wanted to scoff. Instead, though, he just kept his blank expression. Smiling would be allowing victory to sink in too early, and Lavus would react. “I humbly ask your forgiveness, Father. I know what I did is terrible, and I do not deserve any forgiveness at all.” He sounded like Tareth, Calis thought.
“I will forgive you, my son. But, in order to make you understand your actions, and in order to prevent rumors—and any thoughts sparking in that fool boy’s head—we shall change the sun of your wedding.”
There it was. The crescendo that Calis had known he would hate. The wedding. But it didn’t matter. Kilik was safe, and Calis would not attend any dreadful wedding. In a sense, he had won, but he couldn’t let Lavus think that. “To when, Father?” he asked softly.
“Next sunrise,” Lavus responded. That nearly caused Calis to break. So soon was absurd, even for Lavus. He had only a sun, as the sun had just risen in the sky a few moments ago.
As badly as he wanted to disagree, to fight, he knew that it would get him nowhere. He would agree to this wedding, and he would be gone before it ever happened. Most importantly, Kilik would be safe, Calis swore it. “That is soon. Will we have it here?”
“Of course we will,” Lavus answered. “Now get out of my sight, for you will not fully have my forgiveness until the wedding is underway.”
Then, Calis thought, I will continue to have a shred of dignity. Calis bowed quickly and then turned and left the throne room. He’d done it. Kilik was safe, for now—and Calis wouldn’t be followed too closely, he didn’t think.
The walk back seemed to take even longer than the walk there. He should feel relieved, and yet there was a strange tension closing in on his chest. No matter how quickly he walked, Calis couldn’t seem to shake it. As he neared his room, his feet felt as though they were tripping on the thin carpeting throughout the stone hallway.
I ought to go straight there. But, then… someone could be following me? No, it would make more sense for father to send someone after the conversation—or maybe he’ll retract the order. That doesn’t seem like Father. He’ll want to be sure. How can I possibly go see Kilik knowing that I might well get him killed?
At last, he reached the hallway that contained his room. When he went to open the door of it, though, he fell into it. The door swung open, and his body stumbled, thrown into the room. He could feel all the emotion that he had been combatting in the room with his father rushing up into his throat, his eyes, his mouth. Oddly enough, Calis realized, his jaw had started to throb, as well. Staggering just a few extra paces, he slammed his hands down on the desk in his room. His head bent under the strain of the thoughts. The flashes that Lavus’s words had placed into his head. The fact that he may well get Kilik murdered.
That single thought brought forth every single emotion that he’d somehow managed to fight into submission before that moment. After it, though, his body convulsed, seized with overwhelming impossibility. He choked out a sound, without meaning, then a choked phrase. “Damn… it…” He gasped, as tears ran down his face, unbidden.
His body continued to tremble for several moments, before finally, a hand on his shoulder jolted him back into reality. He had to handle this situation, and that meant that he couldn’t cry like a helpless child. He jerked, expecting to see Lee—or at worst, a servant. The person he found, though, forced him to cover his mouth with his hand to keep from crying out.
Two wide, concerned, and incredibly blue eyes stared at him. Calis’s body shuddered, trying to comprehend what was happening. Small and lithe as ever, Kilik stood in his room, biting his lip as though he’d committed a terrible crime. Calis’s eyes widened further as he continued to stare, expecting what had to be an apparition to disappear.
Behind him, Lee stood, rubbing a shoulder with nervousness. This was real. Calis lurched forward and seized Kilik, despite his knowledge that he ought to express self-control. His lips slammed into Kilik’s with possessive need, and he pulled the small body against him for a fraction of a moment. Kilik tasted absurdly wonderful—better than he ever had before.