A thin grease ball of a man with a cigarette teetering between his lips approached her bike with a lustful eye.
“Nice ride.” He pulled the cigarette from his mouth and let a stream of smoke ooze through his lips. “What can I do for you today?”
Gemma’s face scrunched with disgust as she shook her head. With quivering fingers she reached for the accelerator and moved her bike away from the garage. Her mind was blank as she wove through the streets of St Augustine.
It wasn’t long before she was sitting outside 176 Ninth Street. The beautiful home that housed the blended Granger/Chatsworth family looked the same. The essence of a happy home permeated from the double story house, but the cars parked outside were different. The swing and slide set out front had not been there the night before and the squeals of toddlers’ play coming from the backyard couldn’t possibly belong to Sam and Justin. This home belonged to somebody else. Gemma’s soul now lay in shards on the pavement.
Her mind was too numb to cry, too deficient to tell her body to leave. She had no idea how long she sat on her bike gazing at the house before a curious woman popped her head out the door and asked if she was looking for someone. She managed to pull her body out of its stupor enough to shake her head and accelerate away.
The thought of going home brought such a sense of desolation, she nearly curled over with the pain. Instead she drove back down Anastasia Boulevard and ended up on the beach, curling her toes into the sand and willing Harrison to materialize before her.
He never did.
She sat all afternoon and he never did.
Before heading home she drove past the garage and down Ninth Street one more time, but it was a hopeless endeavor. Helen and Harrison Granger no longer existed.
Gemma drove home. The house was quiet and serene as she pulled into the garage, but the calmness did nothing to steady her frayed nerves. As she had sped up the highway the thought of facing her parents had started building in the back of her mind. The rage and disbelief of what they had done escalated within her and a cauldron of boiling emotion bubbled in her belly. She strode through the doorway and into the kitchen.
The room was empty except for the tantalizing smell of her mother’s lasagne. The strains of Strauss lingered through the air blending appropriately with the elegant touch of silver to china and the quiet murmur of mealtime conversation.
Gemma turned the corner and took in the charming scene. The white table cloth, the wine glasses, the tall, unnecessary candles gracing the table. Her mother and father sat at one end, while Ruby and Dom faced each other down the side. Her ears were buzzing too loudly to take in the conversation. She could see her usual place at the end was set and waiting for her… just a normal night in the Hart home. The cauldron within her spat hot spray over the walls of her stomach.
She entered the room in silence and grasped the back of her chair. Her knuckles turned white.
“Good evening, Gemma.” Her mother’s voice was calm and genteel. Placing a forkful of food on her tongue, she chewed the morsel and swallowed before sending her a reproachful look. “You didn’t check in today… or reply to my text. You know you must always do so when you return from a trip. We’ve had to postpone our debrief until after dinner.” She frowned. “Don’t let it happen again, sweetie.” She took a sip of wine and scooped another mouthful of lasagne onto her fork.
Gemma fought the boiling bubbles inside her, but couldn’t keep her voice from shaking.
“He wasn’t on the beach waiting for me. He wasn’t at the garage. He wasn’t at home. In fact, the garage and the home don’t belong to his family anymore, because Bryan didn’t marry Helen. She doesn’t exist anymore, how could he?” Gemma’s voice was starting to crack. “So that means Bryan and his kids had no reason to move to St Augustine. They’re all gone. Harrison’s gone.” She shook her head and willed the tears away. “How could you do this to me? Do you not love me at all?”
Finally her parents looked up from their plates. Pinching the napkin off her knee, Gemma’s mother wiped the corners of her mouth while her father placed his knife on the edge of his plate.
“Not everything in this world is about you, Gemma. We went back for the gold.”
“BULLSHIT!” She felt the cauldron explode as her hand threw her plate of waiting food against the wall. Bright red meat sauce smeared the cream wallpaper and dripped towards the carpet like blood. She saw her mother flinch before flashing her a dark look.
“This had nothing to do with the gold!” Gemma’s voice was so deep and malignant she barely recognized it.
Obviously using every ounce of will power to remain calm, Penelope reached for her wine glass and took a slow sip. Placing it on the table, she looked at her daughter with dispassionate eyes. “Well, it just goes to show we can do something about your relationship with Harrison.”
“I guess you won’t be together forever after all,” Alistair added making Gemma want to leap across the table and pummel his face until her knuckles bled.
“Now if you’re done making a scene.” Penelope cleared her throat. “There should be enough lasagne left over for you in the kitchen. Although, I’d like you to clean up that mess before joining us, please.”
Gemma could think of nothing to say. She suddenly knew she was staring at two complete strangers. The thought of being near them for a second longer was repulsive. Without another word she made a beeline for her bedroom.
No one chased her. No one called her back. The only remnants of the dining room fiasco she picked up before walking out of hearing was Ruby’s shaky comment.
“Well what else did you expect? She was in love with him.”
Closing the door behind her, she leaned against the wood and fought for air. She felt like someone had punched through her middle and pulled out a huge chunk of flesh. All that remained now was a jagged hole. Bending over with a cry, she slumped to the floor and crawled towards her bed. Slithering under the covers she buried herself in the dark cocoon and embraced the hollow ache, not even caring if she survived it.
Harrison was gone.
His family line was broken and so was she.
Chapter Seventeen
Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida – 2011 AD
Sleep captured Gemma some time in the evening, but it didn’t last. She woke throughout the night forgetting what had happened. A smile would cross her face as she imagined seeing Harrison the next day and then the realization would hit. It was a force so strong her breaths were reduced to short, rapid puffs of air. Her muscles shook and she would curl into a ball trying to counter the ache screaming through her system.
“Harrison.”
She didn’t want to believe it. She couldn’t.
Reaching under her pillow she scrambled for the comfort he had gifted her. They had joked about it. She remembered pulling out the old shirt he’d tucked into his waistband and cuddling it against her. He’d rolled his eyes and told her she couldn’t possibly be one of those sappy girls who needed to sleep with her boyfriend’s shirt beneath her pillow. She had held it to her nose and drawn in his scent. “Say goodbye to your shirt, baby.”
Her fingers scratched over the empty sheet. Ripping the pillow away, she scrounged around in the dark only to have reality reconfirmed.
He was gone. He had never been here. That shirt had never lived under her pillow. Curling into another ball, she pulled the covers over her head. She wanted to cry. She wanted to scream. But her insides were numb. Instead she closed her eyes and begged for the unconscious bliss of sleep.
Time passed.
There was a knock on her door. Gemma’s eyes popped open. Her muscles tensed.
“Gemma? It’s Ruby. I brought you some breakfast. Can I come in?”
Still nestled within the safety of her cocoon, Gemma remained silent. She noticed the lightness above her and realized she must accept a new day, but the thought was too painful. Shuffling further down the bed, she held the covers tight over her head.
Ruby kno
cked a few more times then eventually gave in.
“I’ll… I’ll just leave it outside your door.”
Time passed.
She woke in a stuffy daze. Flinging back the covers, she sniffed the fresh air and then remembered. Her breaths grew short as panic radiated through her system.
“Gemma?” Ruby’s voice was behind the door again. “Sweetie, you really need to eat something. Can I come in?”
Gemma flung the covers back over her head and curled into a ball.
Time passed.
“Gem, come on. Unlock the door. I just want to talk to you.”
Ruby again.
Gemma pulled the covers away from her face and spotted sunlight. She winced and shook her head.
Time passed.
It was dark again when she woke. The house was still and silent. She shuffled within her cocoon. Her muscles were aching and stiff. Crawling from beneath the covers, she sat on the edge of the bed and looked at the shadows of her room. She could picture Harrison leaning against her desk. The image made her smile until she realized it had never actually happened.
She wanted to lie back down and forget she existed, but her body would not let her. Forcing herself to stand, she crept across the floor on shaking limbs and unlocked her door. She crept through her closet. Not wanting to face a soul, she didn’t bother flushing the toilet after going and rushed back to her room, locking the adjoining door behind her.
She paused before getting into bed. Her stomach growled. There was no way in hell she was risking a trip to the kitchen. Nibbling her cheek, she crept to her door, wincing as the lock clicked. Waiting on the floor was a tray. Beneath the cover was an array of her favorite foods. Gemma nodded her head. That was Ruby.
Pulling the tray inside, she locked the door behind her. Plucking a strawberry from the plate, she sucked on the sweetness then forced herself to chew and swallow.
She ate in numb silence, trying not to feel. She managed to get through half her plate of fruit, before bending over and grabbing her belly.
“Harrison. I can’t do this.”
Her lungs squeezed tight and she suddenly wanted to hurl her food all over the carpet. Pressing her lips together, she crawled back to her bed and pulled the covers over her head. Clutching her stomach, she remained motionless with her eyes squeezed tight.
Time passed.
“Gemma!” This time Ruby was pounding on the door. “Gemma! This is getting ridiculous. I’m glad you took my food, but I want to see you. You can’t hide in there forever!”
Yes, I can.
Gemma closed her eyes and tried to recapture the image of Harrison that had been floating through her brain. She was worried she would forget the details of his face. Having no photos to obsess over, she was using her memories. The idea of them fading was abhorrent so she was spending her hours forcing his different expressions through her mind.
Ruby’s knocking faded to obscurity and Gemma brought forward another memory, picturing every detail of her boyfriend until he appeared before her.
“Stay with me,” she whispered.
Time passed.
Gemma wasn’t sure what time it was when she stirred. She had no idea how long she had been living this way, but she didn’t care. Reality hit again and she forgot to breathe. Holding her stomach she curled into a ball.
Ruby was at her door again. This time her voice was soft.
“Okay Gem, I’m sorry I yelled at you yesterday, but I’m worried. Mom and Dad aren’t home. You don’t need to see them. I just want to talk to you, that’s all.”
Gemma remained still. Talk. How was she supposed to talk? She could barely breathe knowing that outside this bed there was a world where Harrison did not exist. How was she supposed to face that?
Just go Ruby. Let me die in peace.
Time passed.
It had been a week. Gemma looked at the date on her watch before throwing it back onto her nightstand. Why did she even care what the date was, it didn’t change anything.
A week. She chewed her cheek. Only a week? It felt like forever.
The hollow ache thudded within her and she was disheartened to find it wasn’t killing her. The dreams were becoming harder to find and made the process of waking even more painful than before. She didn’t care. It was the only thing keeping her alive and since she wasn’t dying, she may as well spend her time in a dozing state of delusion.
Lying safely wrapped in her cocoon, she scrolled through her memory banks again. If she concentrated hard enough she could almost feel his fingers gliding through her hair and hear his soft chuckle as his lips tickled her ear lobe.
I miss you.
The ache intensified. She dove into the murky pool of misery and let her hair float in its bleakness. The shroud of darkness she strove for began to curl around her brain until an explosion of light seared through it.
Before she had time to react, two strong arms gathered her up and marched her out of the room. She realized how frail and light-headed she was as her urge to fight back was outweighed by flaccid muscles.
She kept her eyes closed against the bright glare and gasped with shock as she was lowered into a cold shower box. She let out a wail when the freezing cold spray hit her.
“Okay stop. Stop!” She rubbed the water from her eyes and slicked back her dripping hair. The clothes she had been stewing in for the last seven days were now saturated and wreaked of stale, damp sweat. She cracked open her eyes and took in her shaking body. Turning her weak head, she eyed the arms of her brother. Traveling up his crouching form, she found his face. The urge to cry rose then faded.
Dominic gazed at her with a worried frown, but he really didn’t get it. No one did. Her parents probably felt justified and although Dom and Ruby no doubt felt sorry for her, they probably thought it was for the best.
“Gemma, you can’t spend the rest of your life hiding in your room. It’s time to come out and face this.” He ran a gentle finger down her cheek.
She sat in the shower box, cold and motionless with Dom crouching beside her, hoping for a response. She refused to give him one.
You picked my lock and busted me out of bed. I’m not giving you anything.
One long sigh later, a towel was wrapped around her. Dom picked her up once more and carried her down the hallway, this time placing her on Ruby’s bed and into the arms of her fussing sister.
Ruby helped her dry and dress in fresh clothes. As per usual, she tried for a little makeup, but Gemma managed to pull her brain together enough to refuse the gesture. She did allow Ruby to brush her hair and it was during the relaxing experience that she finally found her voice.
“I don’t know how to survive this. It hurts too much.” She opened her eyes and looked in the mirror.
Ruby’s hands stilled in her hair. Her eyes were filled with sympathy. “I’ve heard time heals everything.”
“Time.” The word tasted like rotted meat. “I hate time.”
Ruby placed the brush on her dresser and wrapped her slender arms around Gemma’s shoulders. “Oh Gem, what they did was wrong. I wish I could bring him back for you, but we can’t do that. You’re going to have to find a way to live without him. I’m so sorry.”
Ruby had no idea what she was expecting her to do.
Live without him?
The idea didn’t even compute.
Hopeless sorrow engulfed her. Clutching her stomach, she bent over and rested her forehead on Ruby’s dresser. Her sister’s gentle hand rubbing circles on her back did nothing to soothe the pain. All she wanted to do was crawl back into bed.
Chapter Eighteen
Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida – 2011 AD
Sunlight streamed through the window announcing a new day with a cheer Gemma was far from feeling. It had now been two weeks since Harrison was stripped from her life. Only fourteen days and it felt like a century of blank nothingness. She was breathing, she was swallowing, but her insides were numb. Her stomach could barely contain the food being fo
rced into it and her nights were a jumble of dreamy confusion. In the morning her sheets were wrapped around her body in a sweaty tangle and her mind would be waking with the dull ache that announced her soul mate no longer existed.
Thanks to her very persistent siblings she had been unable to wallow in solitude. They had barely let her out of their sight since resurrecting her. Her week had been filled with painful trips to the mall with Ruby, various movie marathons and surfing trips with Dom. She had barely seen her parents. Any time she sensed a whiff of them approaching she disappeared into a lockable room. She couldn’t decide whether to be bothered or not by the fact her parents had made no attempts to make amends with her. She had settled on the theory that they were just giving her time.
In a small show of mercy, they hadn’t called them across the line once since Canon City, but she knew it was only a matter of time. She wondered how she would cope when it happened. The thought of her body being torn apart for their service was too revolting to entertain. She had placed it in a box in the farthest reaches of her mind and was happy to leave it there until the last possible moment. There was no way she wanted to assist them with anything after what they had done, but who was she kidding. The shackles she thought she might one day shed, tightened around her wrists with vehemence.
The cavity in her chest ached with a bruising pain and time was doing nothing to ease it. So far the only thing time had gifted her was the ability to get up each morning, shower, eat and get bossed around by the twins. As she pulled on her clothes that morning she decided enough was enough. She was out of bed, her hair was brushed, and she didn’t really feel like curling into another ball of despair, so they could just leave her alone today. She didn’t want to go shopping, she didn’t need anymore screen time and she didn’t feel like surfing. In that moment her only desire was to go for a ride.
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