by SL Harris
After going through her classes in a daze, Rebecca found her work-study boss and made an unusual request. She lied about having an upcoming test and asked for the afternoon off to study. She had made a pact with herself to try to always be honest but this was just going to have to be an exception. The clamor in her head was becoming deafening and she needed desperately to find a quiet place to sort it all out. Time was getting short. She had to figure something out before 10:30 Saturday morning, which was less than a day away.
By the time Rebecca had driven five miles out of town to Piney Creek, she was exhausted by the din in her head. She locked up the Buick and headed down the overgrown trail along the creek bank, looking out at the clear water drifting past. She loved the rivers and creeks in this part of Missouri and Piney Creek was pretty quiet this time of year. About a quarter mile from the trailhead was a large, flat-topped rock which jutted out over the current. She clambered up onto it and watched the water rush by, trying to quiet down her thoughts so she could concentrate on one idea at a time.
The water always seemed to have a calming effect on her and today was no different. It was almost like the current washed away all the chaff from her thoughts, allowing her to focus on what was important. After about an hour, she was starting to get a little chilled and her butt was getting sore from sitting on the hard, cold rock, but the clamor in her head had stilled. She walked back to the Buick feeling a little lighter than before, confident in her decision to be honest with herself and at least have the courage to find the answers, to discover what, or who, she did or didn’t want. Self-deception or running from the unknown served her no purpose. A little courage was called for and she vowed to keep an open mind until she really knew how she felt. When she reached that point, she knew more courage might be necessary for her to act on her feelings, but she would worry about that when the time came.
Rebecca arrived home a little earlier than usual and her mother asked her about it as soon as she came in the front door.
“Oh, I took off work this afternoon. I can make it up over the next week by working my lunch break. I’ll just take a PB&J sandwich and eat it at the desk.” Rebecca knew this answer wouldn’t satisfy her mother so she added, “I just needed some time to think so I went down to Piney Creek for a while.”
“Well, did you solve the great questions of world peace, or feeding the hungry, or anything else with all of that thinking?” Her mother smiled as she reached out and tousled her hair.
Rebecca’s face brightened a little as she laughed and replied, “Well, no. I guess I didn’t solve anything that important. I guess my own personal turmoil can’t be too important compared to world peace and famine.”
“Care to share that personal turmoil, oh youngest daughter of mine?” her mother probed lightly, looking with worry at her daughter.
“I don’t think I can right now, Mom,” Rebecca answered as truthfully as she could. “I don’t trust my thoughts right now. I need to figure out what I really think about things first.” She paused a little, noticing her mother looked puzzled at her explanation. “I know I’m probably not making much sense, but I promise, Mom, I’ll talk to you as soon as I think I can.” Rebecca had no desire to push her away. At the same time, she knew this was something she was going to have to figure out on her own.
“Okay, I can wait. You know, I’ve found when I’m not sure what I think about something, if I really think about how I feel about it, deep in my heart, I come up with the answer. I don’t know if that helps any, but it has for me. Rebecca, I’ll be here if you need me, if there is any way I can help.” She had placed her hands on both of Rebecca’s shoulders and made sure Rebecca’s eyes met hers as she said this.
“Now,” her mother added, changing to a lighter tone. “Because you are home early, you win the grand prize…the privilege of helping me cook supper!” She linked one arm through Rebecca’s and led her to the kitchen, where a paring knife and a pile of vegetables sat on the counter waiting for her attention.
Chapter Six
The next morning, Rebecca felt jittery at breakfast. She was trying to act calm so her mother wouldn’t ask more questions she didn’t have answers for. She was glad her mother seemed to be letting things slide this morning, only asking, “So, what are you girls planning for today?”
“I’m meeting Olivia at the gas station in town then leading her back here. I thought I’d have her drop her car off here at the house then take her to Grandma’s. We might go to Mrs. Wright’s house after that. She seems to know a lot about people from way-back-when. I may even take her to see Peacock Cemetery.”
“I may not be here when you drop her car off. I’ve got to go grocery shopping this morning. Your dad will be over at Uncle Jim’s most of the day. Remember, it’s deer season, so if you go out to the cemetery, take some orange with you so you don’t get shot.”
“Okay, I’ll pull out a couple of blaze orange ball caps. When is Dad going hunting?”
“I think he plans to go early several mornings this week. Are you going to hunt this year?”
“I don’t think so. I’m pretty busy with classes during the week and Olivia will be here this weekend. Besides, I haven’t even bought a deer tag.”
Rebecca had been excited about deer season ever since her father had taken her the first time when she was ten. She had never shot one but had seen several pass by, with no good shot available. Her father had taught her to hunt safely and to respect wildlife, so she would never take a shot carelessly and risk only injuring the deer, which she knew would lead to infection and suffering before the deer died days later. The deer population locally had grown over the past couple of decades and without hunting, the dangers of driving the roads around the area would be great and the deer would become unhealthy from too little food. She found hunting to be a challenge and enjoyed the venison from the deer her father had harvested. But, she was surprised to realize, she just had no desire to hunt this year. Her mind wasn’t up to the challenge maybe, with all the other distractions she was dealing with.
“I’ll do the dishes,” Rebecca offered as she gathered their cups and plates from the table. She hoped having something to do would make the time pass faster.
“I think I like this new mood you’ve been in,” her mother teased, watching her work for a few minutes before she returned to her paper.
* * *
Rebecca made sure she was fifteen minutes early when she got to the gas station that morning. She couldn’t help but tease Olivia when she pulled in five minutes late. “Traffic heavy?” she asked, arching one eyebrow and trying to look serious.
Olivia smiled out the open car window. “I knew you’d have something to say about it,” she laughed.
“Follow me and my trusty Buick and I’ll take you to my house,” Rebecca said as she handed Olivia a bottle of cherry Coke.
“What’s this for?”
“I picked us both up a soda while I was waiting on you,” Rebecca said. “That is what you had the other day, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, you got it right. Thanks.” Olivia smiled and winked and Rebecca felt herself blush a little, so she turned quickly and jogged across the lot to her car.
By the time they drove the two miles to her house, Rebecca felt like she had it all under control again but when Olivia slid into the front seat of the Buick, she felt her cheeks try to pinken. Desperate to divert Olivia’s attention away from her unease, she blurted out, “So, how did you get the picture?”
Rebecca felt herself slowly relaxing as Olivia recounted how she had asked her grandmama if she could copy some old photos from her albums, then had slid out the one of MJ, Jane, and Ralph, and hid it behind the others. “I don’t think Grandmama was any the wiser,” she said confidently.
Rebecca pointed out to Olivia, as she drove to Grandma’s, all the fields and pastures that belonged to either her father or Grandma. She also explained that most people around the area called her Grandma whether they were related or not and assured he
r that Grandma would want her to call her that, also, if she was comfortable doing so.
Rebecca was a little embarrassed when they entered Grandma’s front door. She had forgotten to tell Olivia about the bear hug. She felt the familiar pull on her cheeks to get her down to Grandma’s shorter stature, then she hugged Grandma as much as she could while being squeezed tightly. She was pleased to see Olivia receive the same treatment. Grandma had so many grandkids and other relatives that she treated anyone that came through her door like they were one of her own. Olivia didn’t seem at all bothered by the familiarity and hugged Grandma back with equal affection.
After Rebecca introduced Olivia, Grandma interrupted, “So, are you two girls keeping out of trouble today?”
Rebecca had forgotten to explain this ritual, also, but responded with her typical answer. “No. How about you, Grandma?” This caused a lifted eyebrow from Olivia but she didn’t ask questions. They spent the next thirty minutes laughing with Grandma about how she made this daughter mad about one thing and went somewhere with another one, which upset a third daughter, and on and on.
Grandma could make a dull week sound grand. You never knew quite what to expect from her and she had surprised Rebecca more than once. She hated playing cards, thought it was “the devil’s work.” She hated divorce, but just a few weeks before, she had told Rebecca, “I think it’s better to try someone out for a while to see if you can get along than it is to marry them, then find out you can’t stand to look at them over the breakfast table.”
Rebecca loved it when Grandma shared her thoughts with her, but was sure some of her thoughts were why she was always in trouble with one daughter or another. Grandma wasn’t one to hide her feelings and Rebecca knew Grandma would speak up at times when she would have chosen to let things settle down a little. But that was also one of the things Rebecca most loved and respected about her.
Finally, Grandma said, “Tell me about yourself, Olivia. Is your family from this area?”
Olivia quickly explained about her army brat upbringing, her parents retiring in North Carolina, her father’s family in Oregon, and her mother’s family from St. Louis. Then she pulled out the copy of the old photo and showed it to her. “Do you recognize any of these people?” she asked.
Grandma studied the picture intently for a few minutes. “I don’t believe I can tell you who they are. I’m not even sure where it was taken, but the house in the background does look familiar. I just can’t place it right now.”
Rebecca looked at the picture over Grandma’s shoulder. She hadn’t thought to look at the background. “You’re right, Grandma. That house does seem familiar, but I can’t think of where I’ve seen it. Maybe Ola Wright will know. We’re planning on taking it to her next. Is there anyone else you can think of who might recognize someone or something in the picture?”
“If Ola Wright isn’t able to help you, I don’t think anyone could. When she was a younger woman, she knew everything about everyone in these parts,” she added with a smile. “But, if I think of something that will help you girls, I’ll give you a call.”
“Thanks, Grandma,” Rebecca said as she hugged her good-bye.
“Yes. Thank you, Grandma,” Olivia echoed, giving her a tight hug. “It was very nice to meet you. I hope I get to see you again, soon.”
“I enjoyed meeting you, too. Don’t be a stranger. You can come to see me anytime,” Grandma said sincerely. “Now, you take my granddaughter and go see what kind of trouble you can get her into.”
She shooed them out the door then stood in the doorway waving while Rebecca headed the Buick back up the road toward town.
“I love your grandma,” Olivia exclaimed. “She is so…real. I mean, she’s nothing like my grandmother. You’re lucky to have such a wonderful person in your life.”
Rebecca hadn’t considered it, but she did feel pretty blessed to have been born into her family. “I agree completely,” she said.
Mrs. Wright wasn’t able to help them out and they were both a little dejected as they left her house. She had suggested they drive around to see if they could spot the house from the picture. Their optimism had been damaged that much more when she pointed out the house may not be standing anymore.
Rebecca, trying to stay positive, suggested they drive down each street in Springtown. The streets were basically aligned in a grid pattern with seven streets running north and south, eight running east and west. It wouldn’t take long to see the entire town.
The old Buick putt-putted along the narrow streets as Rebecca pointed out the highlights of town. There weren’t many, and most people probably wouldn’t call them highlights, but they were the hubs of what little activity this town ever saw. There was the post office, the beauty shop, four churches, two gas stations, the small general store and the volunteer fire department with a flashing sign in front advertising their bluegrass singing the second Saturday of every month, and where numerous benefits had been held for local residents in times of need.
Olivia was intrigued by the makeup of the little town. “Four churches! Isn’t that a little much for a town this small? And there aren’t any bars. I thought every town had a bar.”
“The old tavern building is on the north end of town but it’s been deserted for years. I heard Dad say the other day someone was planning to tear it down. And there’s a place south of town that was a bar for a while but someone remodeled it and is living in it now. People just drive to Rockford or Freedom if they want a bar. As far as the churches go, there used to be five. I guess even though there may be fewer people in a small town, there are still a lot of different ways of thinking about things,” Rebecca speculated.
“I can agree with having different ways of thinking about things,” Olivia said, with a sideways glance at Rebecca.
Rebecca felt a little skip in her heartbeat and a little flush crept into her cheeks but she was able to say, in what she hoped was a normal tone, “Yeah, me too.”
They finished the streets in town and were back at Rebecca’s house by one o’clock. “Just in time for lunch,” her mother greeted them as they came in the door. “Olivia, I presume? I’m Beth, or Mom, whichever you’d like to call me. I have three daughters who call me Mom, so one more won’t be a problem. Girls, sit down at the table,” she continued, not giving Olivia a chance to respond. “I just mixed up some chicken salad for sandwiches. I’m making lunch for Dad and Uncle Jim but there is plenty. I was hoping you’d run it over to them when you’ve finished your lunch, Rebecca, if you’re not too busy. They’re bush-hogging the field behind the catfish pond.”
“Bush hogging?” Olivia asked as she sat down at the table.
Rebecca gathered plates and made sandwiches as her mother explained the machinery and techniques used to clear brush from the rolling, rocky pastures of the Ozarks. Rebecca’s mother and Olivia chatted easily throughout the meal, giving Rebecca a chance to sit back and reflect on the morning. It had been a good morning and Rebecca believed she had enjoyed every minute since Olivia had driven into the parking lot at the gas station.
“Rebecca!” her mother said loudly.
Rebecca jumped as she realized she had been ignoring the conversation between her mother and Olivia while she drifted in her thoughts. “Yes. I’m here. What did you say?”
“I know you’re here, dear. I was just saying to be back for an early supper at five. Dad and I have that visitation to go to tonight and we want to leave by six, at least,” her mother reminded her.
“Okay, sounds good. Well, Olivia, shall we take Dad and Uncle Jim their lunch?” Rebecca looked over at Olivia, who was smiling that funny smile at her again.
Her mother quickly gathered the sandwiches in a bag and handed Olivia the jug of tea. “See you at five. Oh, and don’t forget your blaze orange.”
“Got it, Mom,” Rebecca said as she grabbed the orange hats from the hat rack by the back door.
“Thanks for lunch, Mom,” Rebecca and Olivia chimed together, then laughed as t
hey headed out the door.
“What’s up with the hats?” Olivia asked as they headed for the car.
“Oh, it’s rifle hunting season for deer and Mom worries we’ll get shot going out in the field without some blaze orange on to warn the hunters.”
“But, I’ll mess up my hair.” Olivia pretended to pout, sticking out her lower lip a little, but was unable to prevent a laugh.
“Too bad,” Rebecca answered with mock seriousness. “Mother has spoken.”
It was a short drive around the pastures to Uncle Jim’s house where Rebecca had fished just two weeks before. Aunt Patsy was in St. Louis visiting their oldest daughter for a couple of days so the house and the yard were empty when they pulled up. Rebecca saw her father’s truck sitting across the field and could hear the tractor running in the distance. “Guess we’ll walk from here,” she said. “If that’s okay, I mean.”
“I would love to walk with you,” said Olivia, climbing out of the Buick with the jug of tea in hand.
Rebecca tossed her one of the hats from the dashboard and laughed as Olivia placed it on her head. Instead of fitting snugly against her head, it nestled at an angle atop unruly curls which sprang unevenly from beneath the edges. She could tell Olivia wasn’t used to wearing a ball cap but its awkward placement somehow made her look even more beautiful. She slapped her own cap on her head, familiar with the feel of it, immediately comfortable with its fit. She grabbed the sandwiches and pushed the door shut with her hip then walked to the front of the car to join Olivia for the hike into the field.
“That’s my dad standing over by the truck.” Rebecca pointed as they drew nearer. A tall, graying man stood behind the truck, his attention captured by a chainsaw resting on the tailgate in front of him. His jeans were faded and patched and as they watched, he rubbed his hand over the side of his pant leg, leaving long streaks of black to mingle with the faded stains from days past. “Mom won’t let him ruin a good pair of jeans so she patches the old ones until there’s nothing left to hold the patches together,” Rebecca explained.