by SL Harris
It seemed unbelievable to her that being Rebecca Wilcox could be considered desirable. All her life, she felt she had come up short of people’s expectations for what she should look like, how she should dress and how she should act. She didn’t chase after guys like her sisters and her girlfriends. She didn’t wear dresses or makeup. She hadn’t even played with dolls when she was a child, preferring to climb trees or jump out of the hayloft.
She looked at Olivia in wonder. “How did I find someone as special as you?”
“Just lucky, I guess,” Olivia said with a wink. “So, tell me this. What’s your plan now that you’ve found me?”
Her sudden question left Rebecca momentarily speechless. “Do you mean, what are my plans for this evening, or what are my plans for the future?” Rebecca asked, unsure how she would answer either question.
Olivia lifted her eyebrows. “This evening might be interesting, but first I want to know about the future. What do you want to do with your life, Bec?”
“I don’t know. I never thought much beyond getting out of high school and getting into college. Mom’s always nagging at me to figure it out, but I just don’t know what I want to do.”
“You showed me your dream house, remember?”
“Yeah. But I never thought about a time frame for it. Will I retire there? Will I build it when I get out of college? I just don’t know.”
“Do you want to have a farm?”
“Maybe. I like working with animals. I guess it’s kind of like what you said about people. So many people pretend to be something they’re not. People are confusing and hard to figure out. Animals are easy. They operate under pretty basic instincts for the most part and as long as you understand what motivates them, you know what they’re going to do.”
“Do people make you nervous, Bec?”
“Yeah, a little. Especially large crowds.
“Do you think you could ever live in the city?” Olivia asked.
“Sure. I thought I’d probably have to move somewhere to finish college and maybe even to work after college, depending on what I decide to major in. What about you, Olivia? What’s the future hold for you?” Rebecca reached up and tucked a wayward curl behind Olivia’s ear, smiling as it popped out again only seconds later.
“Well, I’m majoring in English literature. I haven’t made up my mind for sure but I’m leaning toward teaching. I’ve always loved reading. If a kid enjoys reading, it can open up a whole world of possibilities. If I can share my love for books with even one child, I can help change the world.” Olivia ducked her head. “I probably sound pretty crazy, don’t I?”
Rebecca ran a finger along her jaw to her chin and tilted her head up until she could see her eyes. “I don’t think you sound crazy. I think you sound pretty wonderful. I think you’d make a great teacher.”
Olivia’s pleasure at her words shone in her eyes and Rebecca nearly fell into them. She wanted to know more, though, so she reeled in the desire which had been simmering since she saw Olivia outside the car at the steakhouse. “Olivia, when did you know…when did you know you liked women?” Rebecca asked.
“I guess I knew for sure when I was seventeen. I wondered before that, probably since I was about fourteen or so, but then when I met Lacy, there was no denying it.”
“Lacy?”
“Yeah. She was my first girlfriend. We were in the same grade in high school. We had just moved and the principal at our new high school assigned her to show me around to all my classes. There was this immediate connection, like we had known each other before but we hadn’t. She had already come out to her family, but only her friends at school knew she was gay. Anyway, six months later her father deployed to Germany and he insisted the whole family go along. My parents offered to let her stay with us to finish high school but her father said no. We wrote and Skyped for a while, but slowly we went on with our lives apart. I haven’t heard from her in nine months.”
“Did your parents know you were girlfriends?”
“Not at first. They found out the week before she left.” Olivia’s voice was flat, emotionless.
“How did they take it?” Rebecca asked, suddenly wary.
“Mom went ballistic. Dad just stopped talking to me for about a month. They finally came around but it was pretty bad for a while.” The sadness of the past reflected in Olivia’s eyes.
“Oh, Olivia. I’m sorry. That must have been awful.”
“It wasn’t great. But it’s all in the past now. Let’s talk about something else. Let’s talk about you and me.” Olivia forced a smile. “Rebecca, I may have figured out what I wanted a little before you. But, this has been different somehow, with you. It’s like we connect at a different level.” She looked directly into Rebecca’s eyes, her own softly glowing in the filtered light from the distant parking lot light. “I’ve never known anyone who could melt me with a kiss the way you do. You must be a natural,” she teased, smiling at the slight blush that crept into Rebecca’s cheeks again.
Olivia placed a hand on either side of Rebecca’s fiery cheeks and gently pulled their lips together, as if to prove her point. Several minutes later, Rebecca looked up and noticed the steamy windows. Like one of those crazy movies, she thought. Their coats became hindrances and entirely unnecessary in the increasingly warm front seat, so they removed them and tossed them into the back seat.
They sat smiling at each other for a few seconds then their lips met again. The intensity of the sensations that flooded through her left Rebecca breathless, teary-eyed, and feeling like she might explode. Hands and lips roamed over faces and necks. She thought she would pass out when Olivia reached up under her shirt, caressing at first then gently teasing her nipples. Rebecca was surprised at how her own hands burned as she did the same, sliding her hands first under the back of Olivia’s blouse, marveling in the silkiness of her skin. Then she slid her hands slowly around the front to cup her breasts. Even through the thin laciness of her bra, she could feel the heat from her skin and feel the nipples harden under her touch.
She heard a deep moan and was surprised to realize she was making the sound, letting out some of the pressure building within her. Olivia pushed Rebecca back against the door and brought her knees up onto the seat so she could move over her. Seeking to get even closer, touch her even more, Rebecca slid down on the seat, pushing her leg up beneath Olivia. She reached around Olivia’s hips and pulled her down tightly against her. The electric shocks emanating from her lips and her breasts traveled down to her very center and she found herself lifting her hips to press against Olivia more. Olivia shifted slightly and brought her thigh between Rebecca’s legs, trapping her leg between her own thighs.
Rebecca had lost all thought of anything but Olivia, overcome with the onslaught of sensations Olivia was causing to course through her body. She began hearing a pattern of beats and wondered insanely if it was bells she was hearing. After several repetitions of the sound, she realized the sound was coming from a few feet to her right.
She struggled to return to her senses, trying to identify the sound, knowing it was important but unable to decide why. She moved her hands up to Olivia’s waist, lifted her slightly to reduce the pressure against her and began to ease the kiss.
Feeling her withdraw physically and emotionally, Olivia gazed at her when their lips separated and Rebecca saw confusion and concern cross her face initially then suddenly, surprise, as she too realized what the sound was. She pulled her hands from beneath Rebecca’s shirt and popped up onto her knees in the seat. Rebecca scooted herself back into a sitting position as Olivia reached into the back seat to search her coat pockets for her phone. Rebecca could not resist the temptation and reached up to trace the curve of Olivia’s hips and buttocks as she knelt in front of her. Olivia laughed and slapped at her hand as she plopped back down in the seat beside her.
“Hey, that’s not fair!” she yelped. Rebecca grabbed her and began tickling, starting a brief wrestling match full of laughter, each trying to
out maneuver the other in the small space afforded by the car. They stopped, breathless and exhausted both from the tickling and the more intimate contact which had preceded it.
“We had better go,” Rebecca said, feeling a sudden sense of urgency. “That gate will close in five minutes.”
She started the car and they buckled in as she slowly drove the weaving path out of the park, watching closely for more deer. They pulled past a surprised park ranger at the gate where he was preparing to close the road for the night. “He’ll probably wonder about us for a while,” Rebecca noted. “Two young women alone in a dark, deserted park on a cold November night.” Then she added after a glance in the rearview mirror, “With the rear windows still fogged up.”
This sent Olivia into fits of laughter which Rebecca encouraged by coming up with possible scenarios for their escapade. When she pulled up beside Olivia’s car in the nearly empty parking lot of the steakhouse, Olivia was holding her sides from laughing so hard.
“I love making you laugh,” Rebecca said, looking more seriously across the car at her. Olivia had moved over closer to the car door when they had reentered the city limits, where the streets were well-lit and the traffic was heavier.
“I love it when you make me laugh,” Olivia said in a suddenly serious voice. “As a matter of fact, there are a lot of things about you I love.” She reached over and grabbed Rebecca’s hand, then turned the palm up to trace the lines on it. Rebecca wasn’t sure if Olivia knew she was sending electrical jolts from her palm to the very center of her being with each touch of her fingertip.
“I feel the same about you. These feelings I’m having are all pretty new to me, you know,” she reminded Olivia. “But, Olivia, I think I may be falling head over heels for you.”
Olivia looked thrilled initially, then a little concerned, then cautious as she stopped tracing her palm and grasped her hand firmly between hers instead. “I think what I’m feeling for you is different than anything I have felt before. I’m also feeling things that are new. But I don’t want you to get ahead of yourself. Don’t feel like you need to explain your feelings to me until you know for sure how you feel and what you want. If nothing else, I want us to always be honest with each other.”
“I want that, too,” Rebecca said. “I can’t promise where this is going to lead, but I can promise honesty.” She squeezed Olivia’s hand in her own. “Thank you for a wonderful evening,” she added.
“No, thank you for a wonderful evening,” Olivia insisted. “What’s next?” she asked. “When am I going to get to see you again?”
“I can’t say for sure,” Rebecca said. “But we can keep in touch and maybe our schedules will give us a break between now and the end of finals. By the way,” she said and smiled. “You can call me now if you want. I forgot to tell you that my mother is an amateur psychic. She told me to enjoy my date with you.”
“What?” Olivia’s eyes flew open. “What else did she say?”
“You know, that she supports me and loves me and all that normal mom-talk,” Rebecca said, trying to gloss over the emotional discussion she’d had with her mother.
Olivia looked down as she said, “You don’t know how lucky you are to have the family you have. My mom blew a gasket when she caught me and Lacy kissing in my bedroom. She told me I could never tell Grandmama, that it would kill her. I believe it might, too, so only my parents and my brothers know.”
Rebecca hadn’t known that Olivia had to hide part of her life from her grandmother. She wished she could wipe away the hurt she saw on Olivia’s face. “I guess you’re right, I am pretty lucky,” she agreed. “I’m sorry about your grandmama, though. Do you think she’ll ever change?”
“I doubt it,” Olivia said. “It would take something pretty big to make her change.” She lifted her eyes to look at Rebecca again. “I’d better go before we both get too tired to drive. I’ll call you tomorrow afternoon. Tell your parents I said hello.” She looked uncertainly around the parking lot then leaned over and gave Rebecca a quick kiss good-bye.
Moments later Rebecca turned the Buick around and followed Olivia out of the parking lot and to the interstate highway. It was difficult to keep going instead of following Olivia as she turned right to go east, but Rebecca gripped the steering wheel tightly, crossed the overpass, and turned west.
It was nearly eleven when she got home. The house was dark and she moved quietly down the hall to her bedroom. Her phone alert signaled a text message as she tossed her coat across the foot of the bed. It said, simply, home. miss you. She wasted no time replying with the same words.
She slept fitfully that night, trying to shut off the memory of Olivia’s body pressed warmly against her own. She dreamed Olivia was with her and awakened reaching out, only to find herself alone in her bed.
Morning was a welcome relief from the torments of the night.
Chapter Ten
After a shower, she felt much better. The rest of Sunday passed quickly, with Rebecca determined to stay busy to keep her thoughts of Olivia quieted. She helped her mother clean house, watched the Chiefs football game with her dad, finished her laundry and caught up on all of her studying. She was successful in keeping her mind occupied until that evening when she spent an hour and a half sitting in her bedroom, on the phone with Olivia.
Her mother hadn’t probed too deeply about her date, accepting her one-word answers to her questions. Good, great and yeah had predominated Rebecca’s end of the conversation. She had remembered to pass on Olivia’s greetings to both of her parents.
* * *
The school week was a short one and it was Thanksgiving Day before Rebecca knew it. She helped her mother prepare their part of the holiday meal and loaded the dishes into the front seat of the Buick. Her parents would ride over to Grandma’s in her dad’s truck and she would follow, very slowly, of course, to keep from spilling her precious cargo.
Her stomach was rumbling from the aromas of the food by the time she parked in Grandma’s back driveway alongside several other cars and trucks. Her mother was waiting for her and they quickly gathered the dishes from the seat and packed the food into the small house, weaving around the smaller children in their path. Some were her younger cousins and some were the children of her older cousins. Inside the house, she nodded to her middle sister, June, who was sitting in Grandma’s recliner, holding her six-month-old son, Dean. Her oldest sister, Kate, a nurses’ aide at a nursing home in Rockford, was absent—she had to work that day.
When they entered the kitchen, the old table in the center of the small room was bowing from the weight of the abundance of dishes. Rebecca squeezed her dishes in among the others and her mother did the same. Rebecca scanned the selections and saw the normal fare of salads, fried chicken, turkey, stuffing, casseroles, vegetables, dumplings, beans, ham, and, of course, Grandma’s famous homemade biscuits. She headed into the utility room off the side of the kitchen and placed her cherry cheesecake on top of the freezer next to the other desserts. She made a mental note of the types of pies and cakes present and vowed to leave room in her stomach for some of each of her favorites. Man, I love Thanksgiving at Grandma’s! I sure wish Olivia could be here for this.
Grandma stepped into the utility room as she turned away from the desserts. She caught her in her bear hug, then surprised Rebecca by asking, “Why didn’t you bring your new friend, Olivia?”
“She had to go to her grandmama’s house today, but don’t worry, I’ll get her down here again to see you. I promise.”
“See that you do,” she said. “You know, I really enjoyed her visit. It seemed like you two really hit it off, too.”
She turned without further explanation of what she meant by hit it off and Rebecca followed her back into the madness of the kitchen, pondering her words. Grandma resumed her supervisory role over her daughters, daughters-in-law and granddaughters as they bustled around finishing up the preparations. Rebecca fled as soon as she could duck out the door. She passed through the liv
ing room waving quickly to June before she dashed out the front door to the porch. She always felt claustrophobic around that many people, even if they were all family. She knew June would understand why she didn’t stay to chat.
“I see you got away without being put to work,” Uncle Jim teased her from his perch on the porch railing. She placed her hands behind her on the railing and hoisted herself up to sit beside him.
“Guess I got lucky,” she said with a grin. Three of her uncles, one aunt and several cousins were gathered on or around the porch, chatting about a million different topics while watching the young kids play in the yard. It was a little warmer today, with a high of fifty-six degrees forecast. Some years Thanksgiving had been freezing cold, raining, or even snowing, and then they had all packed into the house. That had been nearly too much for Rebecca to handle, so she was grateful for the weather this year.
It wasn’t long before they were called inside to fix their plates, then everyone found a place to sit or stand while they ate.
She emptied two heaping plates of food before she headed to the utility room for dessert. After three small pieces of pie, a brownie and a small corner of cherry cheesecake, she called it quits. She fell onto the sofa beside her dad, moaning at the discomfort below her ribs.
He rubbed his stomach and laughed. “Did you overdo it, Bec?”
“I think so,” she complained. She was so full, she couldn’t move fast enough to escape when she saw two of her aunts burst through the kitchen doorway.
“There’s one,” she heard as she struggled to get up from the sofa. It was too late. She looked across the room for help but June only laughed at her dilemma, knowing she herself had a pardon due to holding her son. The aunts caught her by both arms and pulled her to her feet, then dragged her into the kitchen, depositing her in front of a sink overflowing with dirty dishes. They left her there to start washing as they headed off after their next victim. Rebecca knew better than to run now. Her aunts were pretty tough.