by Kate Sheperd
The rest of that month had passed with Paige and Mitch getting used to each other’s presence. They still hardly knew each other, and neither was sure if they truly wanted to get to know the other. That remained true for Paige until she got a letter from her sister demanding to know how she was doing, and Paige realized she had nothing good to answer.
Suddenly, Paige realized she needed to take bigger steps with Mitch. She admitted to herself despite her frustration with his bad attitude and bad habits, that she wanted to make their marriage real, and wanted it to work. She was attracted to Mitch, when he wasn’t drunk. She found herself protective of him, but also she found that she liked him, and she absolutely enjoyed being alone with him on their strolls, even though they rarely said more than two words to each other. There was strength in the man, and kindness, despite his anger and bitterness. Paige made up her mind; it was not simply a matter of helping him get sober, it was a matter of teaching the man that he could love again. Who better than to teach him than she, his wife?
From that point on, Mitch noted a change in how Paige acted around him. Until then, she had been determined and stubborn, but had avoided him as much as he avoided her when they were inside the saloon. Mitch did his best to avoid most of the women in the saloon. He was not unkind to the working women, certainly not to his sister, but he disapproved and hated owning the place when it clashed so deeply with his own convictions, and yet, he did not have the heart to sell it, not even to Rose.
It was typically easy to avoid all the women, even Paige. Most of the time, when he was ready to head out, he had to search her out. But suddenly he started finding her sitting near him as she was working on sewing or paperwork, things that she had been doing in her room. He started catching her gazing at him from across the room, or smiling at him as he passed her in the upstairs hall. She started lingering at his side when she served him dinner, casually laying her hand on his shoulder, or quickly straightening his uncut hair at his neck.
When they went out, rather than simply standing at his side, he noticed her watching him out of the corner of her eye, her hand on his arm no longer limp, but rather squeezing occasionally, and once or twice stroking his forearm. Her little glances. Her innocent touches. She thought he was oblivious, but he was not. He simply did not want to respond and was frankly confused by the sudden little shows of interest and affection. He was still confused about why she had stayed, but this swing her attitude toward him had him completely confounded.
He was considering the recent changes in her behavior toward him one morning when there was a heavy tap on his door. He opened it to find Rose standing on the other side.
“Yes?” he asked his sister, dreading conflict with her, something they did more than anything since their brother passed.
Rose walked past him and sat on the edge of his bed. “We have to talk.” She said simply, daring him to try to extract her from his room.
Mitch moved over to the chair in the corner and sat down with a huff expecting to get another tongue lashing.
“About what?” he asked gruffly as he took a deep drink from yet another bottle of liquor.
“Two things. First, your excessive drinking and ridiculous behavior. We are losing business. We have been ever since you took over. The books show we are not making enough to cover the place, especially when you are single handedly drinking us dry.”
Mitch sat back and let the bottle dangle from his fingers. “I am not drinking that much...”
“I will not argue with you about it, Mitchell Frost. I tell you, we have no consistent patrons, which means no one is buying liquor and no one is hiring our girls. But at least once a week, you are taking your bride shopping to replace another broken chair or to buy more liquor that only you are enjoying. It has to stop.”
Mitch slapped the air as if to wipe away Rose’s concerns. “What else do you have to complain about?”
“Your bride.”
“She is no business of yours. “Mitch spat out his anger rising.
“Actually, she is, because you are clearly blind as a bat and heartless to boot. She has been here over a month now, God only knows why, and apparently she has actually fallen for your pitiful bitter ass. We all see it. She is clearly tired of being your wife only in public.”
“What of it? She knows her role here, and I have no interest in her! I have made no moves on her.”
“Bull! You might not want to admit it, but we have seen you sneak peeks at her. I have seen you stand outside her door in the middle of the night with your hand raised, just inches away from knocking on her door-no, don’t bother trying to deny it. Despite yourself, you care for her. At least a little.”
“So what if I do? She is my wife. If I wanted to go into her room that is no business at all...”
“Brother, if that has crossed your mind, then get on with it!”
Mitch leaned forward closer to Rose, “What do you mean?” his eyes flashing.
Rose met his glare and leaned in to match his glare with her own. “I mean, if you do not take your wife and love her as a man loves a woman, you are going to lose her like you lost...”
Mitch stood up so fast the chair tipped over behind him and threw his bottle into the corner where it smashed into tiny pieces. “Get out!!! NOW!” he yelled at Rose.
Rose turned red, but slowly stood up and stood toe to toe with Mitch.
“Paige is not the same as her. She is stronger. She is proud. She is stubborn. She is here because she felt like she made a commitment and needed to honor that; but now... Now, brother, Paige is here for you, and only you. A woman like her loves once in her life, but she is also not foolish enough to stay where her love is not returned.”
Rose opened the door and stepped into the hall. Looking over her shoulder, she whispered loudly, “You have a chance to love again, if you dare, you foolish man” and she shut the door behind her.
Mitch stood there staring at the door, his anger making him see red. He stomped to the door and swung it wide. He glared down the hall where he saw Rose turn onto the staircase. However, Paige was also in the hall, and when their eyes met, Mitch felt deep shame again. He stared at Paige for a moment, searching, afraid of what he might see, and sure enough, he saw something in Paige’s eyes that terrified him. Abruptly, he slammed the door, leaving Paige staring at it in confusion.
While Mitch tried to come to terms with what Rose revealed to him, Paige stood staring at his door for a moment before retreating back into her room where she leaned her head against the back of the door.
“Lord, help me get through to him.”
She took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders before reopening her door and heading down to the kitchen where she started her day wondering all the while what Rose and Mitch had argued about.
Later that day, Mitch finally emerged from his room. Paige had gone out to get supplies for the kitchen, but Rose and the other women watched in shock as Mitch calmly went behind the bar and gathering all the liquor bottles, took them out the side where he shattered each one of them in an open barrel. Rose rushed out behind him.
“Mitch! Stop! What madness is this?”
Once Mitch was done, he turned slowly to his sister, his head bowed. He raised his eyes to his sister’s and she realized a piece of the man he used to be had returned. “Enough is enough, Rose. I can’t have it around me.”
“But... Brother... This is a saloon! We get so few patrons as it is! Now what are we going to serve them?”
Mitch grinned at Rose in a way that made her heart jump in joy; she was glimpsing another piece of her brother as he had been. “I have no idea, my dear. For now, I think it wise to close up the saloon until I figure out what to do.”
Without another word, Mitch walked past his sister and onto the dirt street. Rose, her jaw hanging open, watched her brother walk down the street to the barber shop where he disappeared. She went back inside having no idea what to tell the other girls, so she set them to work cleaning out sever
al of the rooms.
No one was around when Paige returned to the saloon so she retired to her room where she started writing letters to both her sisters. She was just wrapping up one letter, when there was a knock at the door. She left the letter on her writing desk and opened the door. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw Mitch standing at her door holding a small clump of wild flowers. He was cleanly shaven revealing how truly handsome he was. She took in his full lips, which were curled in an uncertain almost apologetic smile, and the twinkle in his eyes that she had only seen once or twice. Questions in her eyes, she smiled at Mitch.
“Did I forget something?”
Mitch handed her the flowers, “No. I simply wanted to apologize to you. It seems I have a great deal to apologize for, so I wanted to ask you to join me for a walk.”
Paige assumed he meant he wanted her to go with him on a stroll around town, but she grabbed her shawl off the end of her bed, and followed Mitch down the stairs. As the pair stepped out of the saloon in the late afternoon sun, Mitch took Paige’s hand and linked it through his arm, but instead of turning toward the center of town, he walked to the corner of the saloon and then headed down the alley. Past the alley, he turned toward the sun and following a trail, led Paige out of town and through a meadow.
When they reached the other side of the meadow, he led her up a small hill. They had walked in silence up to that point, both with nervous excitement and questions in their hearts and minds. At the top of the hill, Mitch stopped and turned to look back at the town, now painted in the yellows and oranges of the late afternoon sun.
Absently, he took Paige’s hand from his arm and simply held it with her standing at his side.
“This town has been part of my life since I was a child. Beyond those hills on the other side, closer to those mountains to the north, is where my ranch is waiting for me to come back. Someday. I was never meant to live in town. I was never meant to be a business man. And for a while now, I was beginning to believe I was not meant to find someone I can share my life with.” He turned to Paige. Her heart was racing causing her to flush, her hand in Mitch’s was shaking from her nervousness and excitement.
Mitch gazed into Paige’s eyes and found her honest gaze encouraging. “I said I needed to apologize...” He looked around and saw a log under the shade of a tree. Leading Paige, they sat on the log and faced each other. “Will you forgive me?”
Paige took in the man sitting beside her. The practical woman in her knew that a man with a drinking problem can’t change overnight. A man who has been hurt so bitterly cannot simply love again in an instant. Yet the tiny part of her that believed in miracles and second chances realized she was seeing the side of the man she knew still existed, and her heart rejoiced.
“Forgive you?” she asked dumbly.
Mitch looked at Paige’s hand, so small in his own, and yet it was the hand of a woman who found the courage and determination to stay instead of run. He gently brought the hand to his lips and kissed it.
He looked up at Paige, “Yes. Please. Let me tell you everything, not to excuse my bad actions, but simply to explain.”
Paige nodded for Mitch to continue.
“You know my wife was having an affair. With my brother. Everyone knew. No one felt they should tell me, so I found out on my own.”
Mitch stared in the direction of his ranch as he recalled the night he found out. Paige sat patiently beside him watching the emotions play on his face.
With a deep sigh, he continued, “We had an argument. After being married for almost ten years, we had them, more often than we got along. We wanted children, but we couldn’t have them. She got pregnant five times, and lost each one. The doctor told us to stop trying; if she got pregnant again, it could kill her. Still, she wanted a baby, but I pulled away. I was terrified of losing her, and in pulling away, I pushed her right into my brother’s arms. He had no worries about her getting pregnant, I guess. I don’t know.”
Mitch stopped as the old anger started to build up inside. He took several deep breaths before continuing. “After one bad argument, I said a lot of things I didn’t mean, and she got on her horse and rode off in a huff. I waited a while, but it was dark, so I went after her to make sure she was safe. As I neared town, I saw her horse tethered to the porch of an abandoned shack. It never crossed my mind... So I walked into the shack to tell her to come home and found them...”
Paige put her hand on Mitch’s arm. “You don’t have to tell me this...”
Mitch raised his hand to Paige’s face and gently ran his knuckles along her jawline. “Yes. You need to know the truth. All of it. You have so far chosen to stay, and... You just need to know.
I discovered the two of them. There was no mistaking what they were doing, and they made no effort to even claim otherwise. As I stormed out to my horse, my brother came after me. He and I had never been close. In many ways, he and I disliked each other, but he was my brother, my blood. I never dreamed he would betray me like that. We argued and it came to blows.
In the fight, my wife thought we were going to kill each other. She drew my brother’s gun from his discarded belt and fired it blindly. She hit my brother in the head. As I caught him in my arms and lowered him to the ground, screaming at her, she realized what she had done. I didn’t see her raise the gun to her own head; it was too dark, but I heard it, and I saw her body hit the ground, and I knew.”
Shocked, Paige gripped Mitch’s hand. “Mitch!”
He looked at the ground, tears running down his face. “She loved him. Enough that she could not live without him. How did I miss that? How did I allow my wife to find love in the arms of another man?”
Paige moved closer to Mitch and wrapped her arms around him as he grieved again. “Oh Mitch...”
Mitch pulled out a bandana and wiped his face. He turned his face towards Paige, merely inches from his own, and searched her eyes for condemnation and judgment that he was certain he deserved. Instead, he found sadness and empathy and shock.
“Why do you let the town assume you killed them?” Paige whispered.
Mitch leaned a little into Paige’s embrace and leaned his head against hers,”because I loved her,” he whispered. “I could not bare that the town would know she not only had an affair, but also that she loved him. Over me.”
“So you risked being charged with murder?” Paige asked incredulously.
Mitch nodded. “I took the gun, and I made sure it disappeared. With no weapon, and no one had ever witnessed me being abusive, too much was speculation. A Marshall had been called in, but no charges could be brought against me or anyone else so ultimately it was ruled an accident.”
Paige leaned back and looked at Mitch. “But don’t you care that people think you are capable of murder?”
Mitch nodded, “I do. And now that is where I need to ask your forgiveness. I found it easy to hide in those bottles in the saloon. I found it easy to nurse my anger and hide from the accusing eyes. As a result, I am losing the saloon, maybe losing my sister, and... Now, I fear I am going to lose you as well.”
Paige stood up abruptly and walked away from Mitch. He watched her as she faced away from him and noted how she squared her shoulders as though preparing for battle. His heart dropped as he guessed that his apology was too late. What woman would remain with a man who was thought to be a murderer? Did she even believe him? He had treated her no better than a servant, how could she possibly find it in her heart to stay?
Paige turned toward Mitch and returned to sit down next to him. She took his hand and leaned her cheek against it.
“I do forgive you, Mitch.” She looked into his deep blue eyes and saw the walls fall away. As he processed her words, he also saw the truth in her eyes. The woman was nothing if not determined, and she had set her heart on healing his. Ever so gently, Mitch took her face in his hands and pulled it toward his. The first kiss since their wedding day, Paige and Mitch got lost in the kiss that symbolized victory over anger and hurt and pr
omised a new beginning and new hope.
When they broke apart to catch their breath, they leaned into one another and felt their bodies call to each other. Paige grew nervous, while Mitch, understanding, stood up and drew her to her feet. Once she was standing up, Mitch knelt before her. He took her hand, and gently removed the wedding band from her hand; the band he had put on it when she arrived a month before.
Paige stared down at him, suddenly confused.
Mitch held the ring up with one hand and held her hand with his other hand.
“Paige... You came here expecting a new life and for over a month lived an uneasy life with a suspected murderer, a drunk, and an angry, bittern man. You lived the life of a servant in a saloon that is failing surrounded by women who sell their bodies. You lived in a town that does not know you, and you barely know it. You had every reason to leave, and yet you stayed.”
Mitch stopped and kissed her hand sending thrills down Paige’s spine. “Somewhere along the way, you decided to fight for me, and heaven only knows why. Somehow, you broke through my walls and let light shine in. Somehow, you have shown me grace and forgiveness and offered me a ray of hope. You have been stubborn. You have been persistent. You have shown me a love I thought I would never experience, and I have not deserved it at all... You say you forgive me. And with that statement, I realize I have come to love you, beyond what I can understand, but its true. So, right here, I want to start over. I want to offer you my hand. I want to ask you to marry me, for real this time.”
Mitch searched Paige’s face as he asked, “Paige, will you do me the incredible honor of becoming my wife?”