“Not good at all. She’s got herself locked up in the back room. She’s strung out. She’s missing tapings, and they’re telling me today, if she doesn’t get help, they’re publically canning her from the film.” Seth didn’t mince words, he was a straight shooter. It was one of the things Austin liked most about him.
“Damn it! How did it get this bad, this quick? Whatever. Did you call Arizona, get something ready for her?” Austin asked about the rehab center they’d discussed over the phone.
“Yes, they’re waiting for us.” Seth nodded while gnawing at his lip. Austin got the distinct impression he wanted to say more, but didn’t. Austin eyed him closely, willing Seth to say whatever he held back. When nothing came, Austin let it go. He’d find out soon enough. He continued on as if he hadn’t noticed the hesitation.
“Okay, let me go talk to her,” Austin said, and walked through the house into the kitchen. The driver sat at the table, waiting for his directions. His housekeeper looked up. She didn’t speak much English, but worry was clear on her face. Austin gave her a polite pat on the shoulder as he walked by. He prayed this would be an in-and-out kind of deal. The odds of it happening seemed against him with the worry on everyone’s face.
Cara’s history in this area wasn’t good. Usually, when she let herself get this far out of control, she was a raving bitch of a nightmare to deal with. As he got closer to the bedroom, he heard loud music blaring from inside. The temperature in this part of the house was freezing. The air conditioning was turned way down.
Austin didn’t knock and the door wasn’t locked. He walked straight in to see Cara sitting with her robe open, her body nude underneath. Two young men were with her in the room. One sat perched on the floor between her spread thighs, rubbing one hand up the inside of her leg. His other hand massaged her clit where his head was headed. The second man sat behind her. She sat on his lap with her legs spread open, straddling his parted thighs. Clearly, his dick was inside her as he rolled his hips back and forth at a slightly awkward angle. In one hand, he held the crack pipe she smoked from while the other rolled her nipple between his fingers. Cara was so stoned, her eyes weren’t much more than slits as they looked over at him. She sucked in a breath, held it and let it go never acknowledging he walked into the room.
“It’s good, isn’t it?” The man in front of her never heard Austin come in the room, but the one behind her had no problem seeing him. He panicked, trying to get her off him. But, she dropped the pipe and rolled her head back falling straight back on the man, making it harder for him to get out from under her. Cara’s body lay completely bared to them all. She rocked her hips against the penis slipping in and out of her and wrapped her long legs around the man in front of her, ignoring the one behind her trying to get away.
“Fuck me…He won’t fuck me anymore…” She moaned, reaching her hands up around the neck of the guy behind her, trying to hold him in place, trapping him there.
“Cara.” Austin’s only word came out in the despair he felt so deep in his soul. The sight was pathetic, crushing his heart. He couldn’t believe they were here again. The guy between her legs whipped his head around, seeing Austin for the first time. She tightened her Pilates strengthened thighs around him, not letting him move. The guy underneath her finally broke free, rolling as quickly as he could away from her. Austin didn’t pay him any attention as he moved across the room to turn the music off.
“Noooo, don’t stop. Austin, come join us…where’s Seth? Austin, make him come in here and fuck me! He won’t fuck me anymore. Austin…” Tears sprang to her eyes, and she dropped her legs, letting the second panicked man free. He too darted up, making a wide dodge around Austin, and moved fast to get out of the room. Austin didn’t care about either of them. His only concern was Cara, and he went straight to her.
“Baby, you have to stop this.” He covered her with her robe before picking her up and moving her up on the bed.
“No! Austin, no! Don’t make me stop it. I love it! It makes me feel alive.” Cara jerked herself up from the bed, moving erratically. She slung her body around as she spoke until her robe fell to the floor. She grabbed her silicone filled breasts, crushing them together. “Take a hit like the old days and come fuck me, Austin.”
Her step forward had her tripping, and she fell to the floor, splayed open before him, exposing everything to his view. “Make Seth come in here and make love to me. I miss him, Austin. He’ll do it again if you make him.”
“I’m not doing that, Cara,” Austin said. He reached down to pick up her robe, before bringing her back up to her feet. She swayed, and he caught her easily before she fell again. “We’ve got help ready for—”
“I love him. I wanted to marry him, and have babies with him, and live a normal life, like normal people, and he won’t because of you,” Cara said, her eyes sliding closed. She opened them again after a few seconds. “I love him and he won’t…”
“I’m going to get you help, Cara,” Austin said, scooping her up again. She was no help, almost dead weight on his arms.
“I don’t need help. I need Seth.” Her eyes closed as she passed out.
~~~~~~
Tucked in bed, Cara finally slept it off. Austin sat beside her, watching her sleep as he weighed his options. He could load her up now and take her straight to rehab, which would get him back to Texas in the next few hours. Or, he could let her sober up and allow her to walk into the center on her own two feet. Damn it! He knew the decision he needed to make, but it meant longer than he ever expected before he could return back home. Even in all this chaos, a smile spread across his lips as he realized he already thought of Texas as his home.
Cara had definitely overdosed. Since the world knew Austin was home, they were all holed up in the house. He’d contemplated an emergency room, but Seth arranged for a physician to treat her at home to help keep things on the down low. Austin stayed by Cara’s side the entire time. Seth stayed even closer to her. By the time the doctor left, Seth had stationed himself in a chair close to Cara’s head. Worry was clear on his face. Austin grabbed a trash can. Going through everything she owned, he threw away all of the alcohol and anything else that could possibly be construed as a drug or drug paraphernalia.
Once he went through her room, he went through the rest of the house, looking for anything and everything she may have stashed. When he made his way back to Cara’s bedroom, Seth still sat under constant vigilance, not having left her side.
“How long’s it been going on?” Austin asked without malice, just concern in his voice.
“Not long. It was an accident. I should’ve told you,” Seth said, never turning his gaze away from Cara.
“Was it serious? Because it was to her.” Austin kept his tone quiet, standing at the end of the bed, running a hand over her leg covered by the bedspread.
Austin loved Cara. She’d been with him for the long haul, and it wasn’t too many years ago that he’d been right there with her, drugging himself to keep the facade in place. If he hadn’t cleaned himself up, there was no question he’d have been right in the middle of those boys, doing it all with her today. Being clean and happy was such a better way to live your life. He hated seeing her like this.
“I don’t know. Everything here’s so fragile. You were leaving, she was worried about you. She’s a beautiful person, inside and out, and so alone. Yeah, it meant something. Too much, we knew it then. It still means something now.” Seth finally turned away from Cara and looked Austin straight in the eyes.
“Obviously it does. I’m just glad you admitted it. If you care about her, when she wakes, we need to double team her and be ready to get her out the door. No hesitation. I’m going to put this place up for sale. Get her out of here. I want to call and pull her from the movie. I’ll pay whatever the fines are, but she needs to heal from all this. I can bring her to Texas if she wants.”
“You’re already in a better emotional place, Austin,” Seth said, and moved his eyes back to Cara
.
“I feel normal again. After she gets out of rehab, maybe you two can come together to stay in Texas with me for a while. If she’s strong by then, we can plan for the future. If she wants to keep acting, we’ll get her something healthy to work on.” Austin sat on the end of the large bed. They talked quietly, but nothing disturbed Cara as she slept off her high. Seth watched Austin for a couple of minutes and narrowed his eyes.
“He means something to you.” It wasn’t a question, but a statement of fact. Since Austin Grainger was more of a corporation than a person, he knew everyone got the security reports. Kitt had to be mentioned in them, and wouldn’t his almost boyfriend just love knowing that little piece of information.
“Yeah, he does. I…he’s…yeah, it’s strong. He doesn’t know that yet, but I do. You can meet him when you come out.” Austin never faltered in his declaration, and that said a lot for a man who hid so much from everyone.
He was proud of Kitt, proud of the normal life he found. He’d only had a beer or two, maybe a glass of wine here or there since he’d left California. He didn’t even have the need for anything more, and he knew that was due to Kitt being in his life. Kitt made him want to be a better man.
“Okay,” Seth said after only a slight pause. He’d thrown Seth with what he said. Hell, it threw him off, but that didn’t change the facts. Austin wanted out of this crazy house, this crazy world, and back inside Kitt’s sane, normal, everyday life as soon as humanly possible.
“Then go pack your bags. We need to be ready when she wakes. I’ll call and find out what she needs and pack her up,” Austin said, palming his phone.
“They said just clothing and minimal toiletries. Easy wear clothes like sweaters and yoga pants, things like that,” Seth said, keeping his eyes locked on the sleeping Cara. It took a minute, but he finally rose, and did as Austin asked. He only left Cara’s side long enough to pack before he came back to hover and stay by her side until she woke.
Austin went to Cara’s closet and grabbed a tote to pack her a few things. As he went through the motion of loading her bag, he palmed his phone again. He ignored all the alerts from Google and Twitter that let him know his name was being posted about every twenty seconds, and instead, went straight to his text messages. Kitt wasn’t responding to him. Austin had sent five or six messages in the last few hours and gotten nothing back. He figured Kitt was shutting him out. It seemed like Kitt’s way of things when Austin wasn’t right there, face to face, pushing at him to open up.
Frustrated, Austin tucked his cell back into his back pocket and packed for Cara in earnest. He chose several pairs of jeans, some random shirts and sweaters, trying not to let it bother him how easily Kitt could let him go, and keep him at a distance. Not more than twelve hours had passed since he’d seen Kitt, but technically, if he were home right now, they’d be together, having dinner, maybe making love. Okay, probably making love before they ate dinner. They never could seem to make it through the door without hitting the floor, clothes abandoned, and one of them on their knees sucking the other off.
The thought caused desperation to form and well up inside Austin’s heart. Kitt had been very clear with Austin last night. He thought Austin would eventually bolt, but he’d be in the relationship for however long Austin wanted him. Distance had to be a self-preservation deal for Kitt. The problem was, Austin seemed to have a constant need for validation from Kitt who was clearly not in an emotional place to give it.
After another minute more of shoving a handful of panties and socks in the bag, Austin reached for his phone again. He typed out a quick message. He didn’t monitor his words or play the game of “if-I-say-this,-hopefully-he’ll-say-that” he just typed what he felt.
’I’m not sure if you’re getting my messages, but Cara isn’t good. I might be a day longer. I need her to sober up before I can get her to help. I’m not liking that I can’t see you tonight. I need you to respond to this message. Please don’t leave me here hanging without a word from you.’ Austin didn’t even give himself a read through he just sent the message.
‘Are you okay?’ Kitt texted immediately back. Austin guessed three words were better than no words.
‘I’m worried.’ Austin typed back.
“I’ll call. It’ll be late, after 10. Is that ok?’
‘Call whenever, it doesn’t matter the time.’ Austin found himself wanting to ask why it would be so late. If he were home, they would be together. He never thought to ask Kitt if he’d made plans. Why did he just assume Kitt would be there waiting for him? Wait, Austin never assumed it. He feared Kitt wouldn’t be waiting. How did he not know what Kitt had going on?
‘Alright.’ Kitt replied in his one word text. Austin felt better after texting him. It wasn’t a huge conversation, but with Kitt they rarely were. Austin kept his phone close, making Kitt’s photo his screen saver as he went to Cara’s office and began the process of sending emails and messages to everyone, letting them know she was coming to spend time with him for indefinite amount of time.
Chapter 15
Kitt crawled down off the hay baler with a jaw cracking yawn tearing across his lips. It was three forty-five in the morning, and he couldn’t sleep. He wiped the sweat from his brow, smearing oil and engine soot across his forehead, and shrugged his Carhartt jacket off his shoulders, tossing it aside. It didn’t seem to matter how hard he worked, or what he did. Kitt’s mind stayed completely wrapped around Austin, never giving him the slightest break, not even to get a couple of hours of sleep.
Night two of Austin being gone, and it amazed Kitt how much he missed the man. At the same time, it scared the crap out of him. He’d thought he had a better mental hold of himself. His arms seemed to miss holding Austin at night. When he closed his eyes, the only thing he saw was the image of Austin smiling his big, toothy, sexy grin. Austin’s real smile. The one he wore any time he teased Kitt, or they laughed about something just between the two of them. Kitt missed that smile.
Kitt didn’t call Austin the first night. Fear kept him from making the call. His heart was too closely connected, making him too involved. Kitt needed to find distance between them. Complications weren’t his thing. Kitt lived his life as a total drama free zone, and it needed to stay that way. The movie star, Austin Grainger, had drama filled complication stamped right on his forehead. Austin needed to either move back to Hollywood, or move back to the place in Kitt’s mind where they were fuck buddies. Fuck buddies didn’t matter. They were tension relievers and nothing more. Kitt shouldn’t care about how Austin coped in his crazy ass situation back in California. He had never thought about Sean’s coping ability in any situation.
Kitt placed himself in straight up, pure protection mode. If Kitt could slip Austin back in the right spot inside his brain, it wouldn’t hurt so badly to be without him, and Kitt definitely would be without Austin. If these last two days were any indication of the future, Kitt would be a big whiny ass mess when Austin finally left him for good. He couldn’t let it happen.
To give Austin credit, he kept Kitt informed. He messaged every few hours both day and night. Austin told Kitt everything they were doing, and every text included sweet words of missing him. Austin also started calling. Kitt let the calls go to voice mail. Around midnight tonight, he finally responded to another text Austin sent asking if Kitt made it home yet to give him a call. He didn’t lie when he said no, but he’d just left his house to come back to the barn once he figured out there would be no sleep tonight either.
The text he’d sent back was a moment of weakness laced with a small amount of compassion. Kitt got the impression Austin was a little desperate, or it could’ve just been his own emotion he read inside the typed words of the text. He probably shouldn’t have asked how Austin held up; it invited conversation. But, he couldn’t help it. Austin replied back immediately, he was just waiting for Cara to wake so they could board the flight. Kitt told himself it was nothing more than polite manners, not the deep connection he felt, tha
t had him texting back a simple, ‘Make sure you take care of yourself’. Kitt didn’t reply to anything else.
An old fold-up chair sat in the corner of the work barn housing the baler. Kitt sat down with a thump and dropped his head in his hands. There were so many other things he should be thinking about besides Austin. He had two long days in front of him to get ready for a longer month of hay cutting and baling. His entire farm would work from sunup to sundown, seven days a week. They needed to cut and bale thousands and thousands of acres of hay, and in return, Kitt would be getting half of every field they worked as payment.
On top of all that, he’d only gotten two firm contracts to sell the hay. He’d had some verbal promises, but they were falling through. As it stood right now, if he didn’t get on the phone and start making some calls, he’d be stuck with about twenty thousand bales with nowhere to put them.
Kitt shook his head hard. Okay, so thinking about the farm caused as much tension and worry as thinking about Austin. So what else could divert his sleep deprived brain? Kitt rose, grabbing a stray wash rag as he strode from one barn to the next, making his way to Lady. She was the current pride of the farm, his best quarter horse.
Kitt caught it happening in her without doing the math, or any exam at all. He saw Lady’s belly tightening up and watched her moving a little stiffly. He’d brought her in the barn yesterday, keeping her close by. She was early. The vet planned to come out in the morning to do a full exam on her, see if Kitt was correct in his guess. He couldn’t wait though for her to give birth, and for the first time in two days his heart lightened. He felt it in his bones, her new little colt was going to be something special. The first of four something very special’s coming to the farm; two colts and two fillies if the sonograms held true. They were all sired by the year’s Triple Crown racing champion. Surely to God, they would sell in the tens of thousands on the open market.
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