~~~~~~
Three hours later, Kitt finally shut the door to his cabin. Fatigue from the trip allowed his temper to settle. That, and the knowledge Lily and his sisters were okay. When he’d walked into the main house, Lily grabbed him up, hugging him tight. So did Kylie but Bryanne wasn’t quite as receptive. She was angry. Her date for the night was cancelled because they were on lockdown. It made her so angry he could see some of that fired up Kelly temper in her. She didn’t care whether Kitt was gay, straight, or dropped off the edge of a cliff, it was all about her.
Cara had been kind. She’d tried to explain what she knew of the situation, but Kitt didn’t want to hear any of it. He stayed quiet, turning into himself. If he didn’t want to hear any of it, he wanted to say even less. From the front windows of the main house Kitt saw several news station vans from Dallas and Austin out front. He’d been told Austin’s gate swarmed with them. Several snuck around back. All of Austin’s security resources were here and focused on the two farms.
Kitt returned to his cabin, pleading exhaustion. He needed time alone. He picked up his phone charging on the night stand. He had thirty-three missed calls, all from Austin. He silenced it and laid it back on the night stand, ignoring it and his heart’s need to hear Austin’s voice. It took him a minute to rationalize the rudeness of his action, but then he remembered the voice mail. If his heart needed to hear Austin he could play the message Austin left earlier. The one where Austin told him he was leaving, giving him everything. The exact one where Austin somehow managed to make this so much worse in those few short sentences. Yeah, when Kitt missed Austin and needed to hear his voice, that’s what he would play, reminding himself of what an idiot he’d become.
For now, Kitt decided on food and then sleep and then a plan, all in that order. At some point in the near future he’d have to turn on a TV, get a good grip on what was happening, and where he stood, but not now. Kitt was too hurt to do much more than exist.
Kitt stood in front of the microwave warming the plate of food Lily sent over when his front door burst open. It wasn’t the quiet, stick your head in the door, are you home, kind of greeting. It was a solid shove open, slam against the wall. Kitt turned quickly reaching for his rifle, chastising himself for not locking the door in a situation like this. But, as he turned his eyes to see who had come in, he found Austin standing in the doorframe.
The sun shone in around him. For a minute, they just stared at one another. Kitt was completely taken off guard by the angel standing in his doorway. Okay, he needed to amend that, the angry angel standing in the doorway. Kitt turned his back on him to pull the hot plate from the microwave, carrying it carefully to his kitchen table.
He did it all just to hide his runaway heart, and the emotion at seeing Austin in his house. Kitt was in survival mode. Instinctively, he calmed and began working with his hands. He never said a word to Austin as his heart hammered in his chest. Where was that damn anger when he needed it to help him get through situations like these?
“You can’t pick up your phone to let me know you’re okay?” Austin glared at Kitt who purposefully ignored him. Relief flooded Kitt as he felt the first stirrings of anger building back up. It would help stamp out some of this intense hurt. Maybe even help him not cry in front of Austin.
Kitt stalked back the few steps to the kitchen counter and grabbed a water bottle, silverware and a napkin and took a seat at the table. All of a sudden, he was no longer hungry. Austin always fucked him up.
“I had to call Mike to find out you made it back. Cara said she talked to you. You couldn’t answer any of my calls?” Austin said again when Kitt ignored him. The palm of Austin’s hand slapped down hard on the table, jostling the plate. That caught Kitt’s attention. The anger licked at his soul, and his eyes cut up to Austin’s.
“I’m ruined, but you should know that. What else do you want me to say? Thanks for my land back.”
“You aren’t ruined. I can take care of us if you’d get that through your thick skull. What was I suppose to do, let them run those pictures of you and hide? Let you take the brunt of it all? Fuck no, I wasn’t gonna let that happen. I love you. I love you so Goddamn much. I meant every fuckin’ thing I said on Late Show. You’re everything to me.” There was so much anger in the way Austin said it, he looked like he might burst into flames at any given moment.
“You told me there were photos of Sean, never of me nude, or of us kissin’. You said they were deleted. How many more are there of me like that? Is the price of the photo my fuckin’ land back?” Kitt demanded an honest answer. He’d shoved his plate of food back and gripped the sides of the small table. Kitt fought the need to tackle Austin who stood there indignant over something as simple as Kitt not answering the phone.
“That was my fault. I told you that,” Austin said, but Kitt’s words had him taking a step back. Finally, it was about something other than him not answering a fucking phone. “I only took the picture that one time. I had them deleted, all but the ones on my computer. You were so hot, so beautiful. You turned me on so much...I wanted you so badly. I didn’t delete them. I’m sorry, I should have, but I love that picture so much.” All the riled anger left Austin’s face, and now, he was moving around the table toward Kitt who quickly moved around the table the other direction.
“So they found the pictures by what, hackin’ your computer?” Kitt asked with the table between them. He grabbed a hold of his anger and held it in place. It was the only thing that would get him through the next few minutes.
“Please don’t move away from me. I haven’t slept in days. Kitt, I’m sorry. I can take care of us until the horses are ready to compete. I ruined everything, but I can take care of us. I can take care of Lily and the girls. Please let me do it.” They circled the table as Austin talked to Kitt.
“I thought you were leavin’? You said I could have it all,” Kitt fired back.
“If you don’t want me anymore, if I ruined us, I’ll leave you everything. I’ll still take care of you and the girls. I promise, but damn it, please stop moving away from me, Kitt. And stop toying with my fucking heart. How badly have I fucked this up?” Austin stood at the head of the table as Kitt moved out of the small kitchen to the far side of the living room, placing the coffee table between them.
“You look all Hollywood again,” Kitt said instead of answering Austin.
The answer was so clear inside Kitt. His heart sang because nothing was as bad as Austin leaving him. He’d let the world run over him as long as Austin gave him the time of day. Austin followed him, stepping up onto the coffee table and over it to move closer as Kitt backed away. Austin wisely stayed a foot away from Kitt backing him toward the bedroom.
“It’s because I hit the circuit again. I thought if I got it out there before the sleazy tabloids, I could spin it in the right direction. My PR firm says the focus groups are thirty-two to one in our favor. I couldn’t stop the pictures, Kitt. I tried to file injunctions, but I didn’t have time. All I knew to do was to bring it out. Tell the world I love you.” Austin voice cracked a little at that. Kitt stopped, staying very still. Austin gave him room to digest it all.
“You said that on Late Show?” Kitt asked. He crossed his arms over his chest trying to hold his heart together.
“And Good Morning America. Haven’t you seen the television today? It’s being played over and over.” Austin took a small step toward Kitt, but right before they touched, he pivoted on his heels, stalking out the front door. He was back in a minute, laptop in hand. Kitt still hadn’t moved.
“I have it on my laptop. Please sit down. Watch what I did. Please.” Austin sat the laptop on the kitchen table and pulled up a file. Kitt could hear Donnie Cliff’s voice announce Austin, and the cheers erupted from the audience. Austin shoved out a chair and Kitt came forward to take it. He watched the screen closely, his arms still crossed securely over his chest so they wouldn’t reach out to Austin.
It was an emotional experience to see
the man he loved beyond reason turn back into his actor mode. Austin looked so handsome up on that stage, and stayed calm, cool, and collected during the entire interview. Even when he took questions from the audience, something Kitt had never seen on Late Show before.
The last question from the audience to Austin was ‘What made you finally come out?’ Austin didn’t hesitate, he never looked away, he just stared at the woman and answered easily. “When you find the person you know you’re supposed to spend the rest of your life with, things that mattered before him just don’t matter anymore. I’ve been gay my whole life, Kitt makes me okay with it. Actually, he makes me proud to be gay because I get to spend the rest of my life with a man as good as he is.”
Kitt let himself reach his hand over and take Austin’s who stood beside him as the video played. It took a moment longer for him to look up at Austin because tears were swimming in his eyes. “Did you mean it, or was that the actor talkin’?” Kitt asked.
“I meant every single word.” Austin gripped Kitt’s hand tighter and dropped down to his knee to be closer to Kitt’s level. “Tell me I didn’t ruin it between us. Tell me we’re gonna be okay. I can handle any of this if I didn’t lose you.”
“No more pictures,” Kitt said.
“No more pictures.” Austin nodded.
“I love you like that, too.” Kitt looked deep in Austin’s eyes. Austin reached in to kiss Kitt’s parted lips.
“I don’t ever want to lose you. I was so afraid.” Austin’s voice broke again as he pulled Kitt to him.
Chapter 28
A horde of people descended on Austin’s farm. Publicists, public relations people, attorneys, managers, and Austin’s agent were all there ready to strategize. This was too big a story and too important of an outcome not to guide as best as they could. Kitt sat through hours of meetings during which he generally stayed quiet. The team also met with his stepmom and sisters who were stuck in the house going over well rehearsed statements about Kitt and their knowledge of Austin once it was safe to go out in public again.
No part of their small community was left untouched. Reporters were everywhere. The public high school was bombarded with photographers, interviewing anyone and everyone they could get their hands on. Old teachers of Austin’s in high school, Kitt’s college professors were all interviewed. It didn’t matter what they said, hell, most people’s story stayed the same: Kitt was a good man and the entire town was in shock; they’d had no idea. It wasn’t until yesterday that anyone mentioned Kitt’s dad. It was an off-handed comment by the local restaurant owner that had his dad now headlining the news. It went from Kitt being the love of Austin’s life to Kitt being abused as a child. Stories Kitt had completely forgotten were surfacing. Speculations grew to a frenzy, having analyst’s on split screen piecing together exact moments in Kitt’s life when he could have turned gay.
As Kitt sat through about the seventh hour of meetings, he was lost to it all. He stared out Austin’s back window, into the pasture, thinking over the last few days. He’d lost three of his ten full time ranch hands. Two more were showing signs of abandoning ship. Jose was solid. He stood by Kitt’s side, giving them all a firm talking to. It was business as usual for Jose, and he’d run the farm pretty much by himself since this all fell down on their heads. With Austin’s security still posing as ranch hands, and Mike helping out, they were able to make do without the three men he’d lost. But, it was double the work watching both farms and taking care of every animal on them.
Austin came to sit beside Kitt. They held hands openly. It was something Austin pushed on him from almost the beginning. It gave Kitt strength so he didn’t fight it. Austin handed him a beer with a smile. That smile always seemed to ease Kitt’s heart. As he sat, Austin intertwined their fingers back together, but Kitt moved his eyes back to the window. Micah’s pick-up truck pulled up to the barn, and both he and Jimmy got out.
Kitt didn’t hesitate as he rose. His movement interrupted the meeting, but he gave no explanation as he went straight outside. Austin followed on his heels. They made it down the porch steps and across the fenced back yard as Micah and Jimmy came through the gate.
“For the record, I knew it,” Jimmy said.
“Me too,” Micah said as an immediate follow-up. All three of them came to a stop about two feet apart. They all stood in about the same stance with their legs apart, fingers tucked in the front pockets of their jeans. Austin was still a couple of feet from them. He broke the pattern, walking straight up behind Kitt, putting his hand on his back until it slid to the side of his waist. It took everything Kitt had not to move away from the hold, to stay there and let Austin prove himself and their relationship to these men.
“It’s weird to see you two together like this, but we talked it over, and we’re standin’ by you. I don’t like what’s bein’ said. We called Jimmy’s cousin. He’s an attorney and said he can try to stop some of it. We can pay him out,” Micah said looking from Kitt to Austin as he spoke. A dirty, dusty Mike came to stand behind Jimmy and Micah.
The show of solidarity caused emotion to well up in Kitt. He didn’t speak for a long moment fighting back the relief. He’d been so afraid of losing them all. For his entire life, he’d feared being left completely alone if anyone ever found out the truth. When Kitt stayed quiet, Austin spoke up, helping him out. He stepped up against Kitt’s back and slid his arms completely around Kitt’s waist, holding him tight.
“It’s what we’ve been inside talkin’ about for most of the day. There’s no reason to waste your money. I’m gonna stop as much of it as I can. The best thing you guys can do right now is get the people to stop talkin’, no more interviews. No more tryin’ to take up for Kitt, no defendin’ him. The press’s gonna twist and edit their words until what they said comes out completely different. They’re just makin’ it worse. Can you do that for me?” Austin asked.
“We can try. I’ll get Heather on it and head into town.”
“Me too. JoLynne can get on the girls,” Jimmy said. There was no messing around with this group of guys. Once given the job, they were on it. Before they ever hit the gate, all three were dialing their cell phones.
Within an hour, the town was silent. Kitt and Austin watched the local news and then national news. All were still in town covering the area, but no one was talking anymore.
It didn’t stop the reporter’s speculations or the nude shots of Kitt going viral, but after a few days Austin started teasing Kitt. He’d say if Kitt wasn’t such a good looking guy, no one would care. Those times always caused Kitt to blush, and he would duck his head down grinning at the suggestions that always followed. The whole interaction became their own kind of foreplay, and the end result always had them in bed, Austin trying hard to make Kitt blush again.
Within a few weeks the frenzy in town slowly came to an end. Being out allowed Austin to stay with Kitt fulltime, there was no need to hide. They worked together during the day and slept together every night. Austin kept Kitt with him, by his side pretty much twenty-four-seven and for some reason for a guy who lived his life in virtual solitude, Kitt didn’t mind having Austin with him.
“I was thinkin’ about takin’ you into town tonight for dinner. I have something I want to talk to you about.” Austin finally said a little over two weeks after everything came out.
“Do you think it’s too soon?” Kitt asked.
They were standing in Austin’s bathroom, both just showered from a particularly dirty day of running cattle. Austin’s suggestion caught Kitt off guard, causing him to stop drying his body in mid-wipe and look up at a shaving Austin’s reflection in the mirror.
Austin lifted his eyebrows. “Embarrassed to be seen out with me?”
“No, I didn’t say that.” Kitt slowly began drying himself again. His eyes narrowed in speculation.
“We need to get out as a couple if this community’s ever gonna accept us.” Austin spoke as he finished shaving.
Kitt brushed his teeth a
nd shaved himself. Austin stayed in the bathroom after he was done and stood with his butt against the counter. He was still completely nude, his arms crossed over his chest watching Kitt. After a few minutes of Kitt staying quiet, Austin continued on. “Look, I’ve wanted to take you places. It’s reasonable to have dinner out, it’s what couples do. We need to think about travelin’ together, weekends away, goin’ out into the world together. It’s reasonable, Kitt, but the first step’s gonna be tacklin’ this town. Just because they supported you doesn’t mean they’re comfortable. We need to get them there. Plus, I’ve been thinkin’ about something. We could have a nice little dinner, talk, and then go over to that bar, have a drink or two, shoot some pool and come home.”
“Okay.” Kitt didn’t move his eyes from his reflection in the mirror to look at Austin as he patted aftershave on his face.
“Okay? That’s all you have to say?” Austin asked clearly surprised he didn’t have to fight this out.
“No PDA. Zero! None at all,” Kitt said as he turned to the closet. He had clothes here now. Not lots, but some. And, Austin had bought him a set of all his toiletries to have on hand.
“Alright. I can live by that rule for tonight. We can go as buddies so we don’t freak anyone out too badly.” Austin followed Kitt into the closet.
They dressed quietly. This was a big step for Kitt. Austin had already tackled this one by going on Late Show, but for Kitt this was his voluntary public coming out and it scared the crap out of him. After all the times of never being seen together, they were going into town for dinner. Would the photographers be gone? How would the townsfolk take them? The questions never stopped running through Kitt’s mind, and he was nervous as hell. Kitt chose his clothing carefully, feeling like a cold beer, maybe a shot or two of something would be in his very near future.
Texas Pride Page 31