by Dyan Chick
I stared in disbelief. Was that what would happen when I'd worked off my brother's debt? Would he hand me my contract and part ways? If somebody who had this kind of power, the power to heal so easily, had been willing to respond to one of the Ringmaster's contracts, they must be as dangerous as I had guessed. I wondered if I'd ever get to leave this train.
Gia took the document from him then walked over to me. She placed her hands on top of mine, pressing something into my hand. "Take care of yourself, Ara. If you ever need anything, you can find me."
Looking down, I realized she'd given me a business card. Without looking at it, I slid it into my bra so I didn't lose it. A lump rose in my throat as I watched Gia leave. I didn't want her to go. She'd taken care of me and she'd tried to give me some answers. She didn't seem to be the same as the creatures of the circus. She seemed almost normal. I was craving that after the short time with the circus. I lifted my hand to wave to her as she went through the door, leaving Brenon and me alone in the room.
12
"I want to apologize for Miles," Brenon said. "It won't happen again."
I tilted my head to the side, studying him as he spoke. There was something different about him when we were alone. He didn't seem to put on the same show for me as he did for everyone else. He seemed more at ease. I wanted to believe him. There was a part of me that wanted to spend more time with him, but I didn't want to endure that kind of physical pain again, and something told me that being around Brenon would lead to nothing but pain. "What if they do? What if they hurt me again?"
"Then I tear up your contract, and you go home," he said.
Wasn't that what I wanted? To go home and be done with all of this? I narrowed my eyes as I considered his words. "What's the catch? Does that mean you'd take Ryder instead?"
He shook his head. "We'd be even."
"Oh." I wasn't sure why I felt both relief and disappointment. I knew I didn't want to be hurt again, but I didn't want to stay here, did I?
Brenon reached a hand toward me. "Come on, I want to show you something."
I raised an eyebrow. Was I finally going to get some clues as to what was going on here?
He smiled. "Remember, you said I had to earn your trust? I can't do that if you don't let me."
I bit down on the inside of my lower lip. He was right. Taking his hand, I let him help me off the bed.
We left the room and he guided me into the dark hallway of the train car, closing the door we had come through. We walked to the next door and he let go of my hand to pull a key out from his pocket. He turned and handed me the key. "You can keep this. So you have a place to go when you want to be alone."
I took the key from him and looked from the gold key to him.
"You have the only copy. Even I can't get in if it's locked."
"I have a feeling you could get in without a key," I said.
"True." He shrugged. "But I won't. Trust, remember?"
I smiled. "Trust."
"Go ahead." He inclined his head toward the door. "Open it."
Stepping in front of him, I slid the key into the lock and opened the door. I was greeted with a darkened room that smelled like it had been closed up for years.
Brenon reached around me, his body brushing against mine. My breath caught. Then he flipped a light switch and stepped away from me.
As the room filled with light, I laughed, then covered my mouth with my hand. Pure joy spread through my whole body. The room was a small library, complete with a couple of comfy chairs, a small table and several shelves of books.
"I thought you might get tired of the books you brought."
"This is incredible." I ran over to the shelves and dragged my fingers over the spines while I breathed in the scent of the paper tomes. My finger stopped on a familiar title, one I hadn't read in a while. Pulling the book from the shelf, I held it in my hands. It was one of the books I almost packed because I hadn't read it since I was a teenager.
I clutched the book to my chest and found Brenon sitting in one of the chairs. "Thank you."
"I'm glad you like it." He was leaning back in the chair, arms hanging over the sides. He looked exhausted. I wondered if he'd even gone to sleep after the party. Had he kept vigil over me the whole time?
I sat down in the chair that faced his, setting the book on my lap. "Are you sure you want to give me the key to this room? What about you?"
"I have a decent collection of books in my room. I'll be okay," he said. "I'm glad you're happy."
For the first time since I'd left home, I felt myself relaxing. I leaned against the soft cushion of the chair and tucked my feet up under me. I wanted to ask more questions, but I didn't want to ruin this moment. If I was going to say anything, I had to do it carefully. "Brenon?"
"Yes?"
"Is it true, that you're not human?" I asked.
He nodded. "It's true."
I waited, considering what to say to try to get more out of him. Before I could find the right words, he spoke.
"I'm High Fae. Most of the members of this circus are fairies, but we have some other creatures with us as well."
My shoulder sunk as the words wound their way through my brain. I'd been fighting the things I had seen but in this one simple explanation, I let go of the doubt. It was all true. All of it. I couldn't explain how I knew that, but just accepting it sent a wave of relief rushing through me. It was as if part of me had always known. "Is there a difference between High Fae and fairies?"
He nodded, his expression relaxed, patient. "We are all from a different realm than your own. Where we come from, the High Fae are the elite, our magic far exceeding that of any other creature in our world. Our interactions with humans is what led to much of the mythology around gods and goddesses."
I blinked a few times. "You have that much power?"
"I used to." He pressed his lips together.
I wanted to know what he meant but could tell the question had touched on a sensitive issue, so I changed topics. "How is it that humans don't know about you? Especially if they've seen your kind before."
He shrugged. "There aren't a lot of us here. When we visited from our realm, we never stayed long."
"What about all of you in this circus? Evangeline said you'd been here a long time."
His eyes darkened. "We were cursed, sent here as punishment." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"For what?"
"I made a mistake." His look made it clear that he wasn't going to elaborate from there.
"Don't you miss home?" I asked.
"We'll go back one day, when I know I can keep my home safe."
"Does that have something to do with the war that Gia was talking about?" I knew I shouldn't have brought it up, but I couldn't help myself.
"Yes. There was a war going on in Faerie when we were exiled and it followed us here."
"What kind of war?" I couldn't imagine the circus performers donning camouflage and carrying rifles.
"No more questions, today, Ara." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. "Tell me, which book did you pick out?"
I lifted the thick, blue book up so he could see the cover. "Wuthering Heights. I haven't read it in a while."
"Never would have pegged you for a classic romance reader," he said.
"I don't think I'd call this one a romance. It's more about revenge and obsession." I traced my finger over the gold, embossed title.
"Isn't that what every love story is about?" he asked.
"Well, maybe obsession, but not revenge." I laughed. "Though, I can't speak for your love life."
"How about yours?" he prodded.
"Oh no, I don't have a love life. Me and relationships aren't a good match." My mind flickered to the moment I'd walked in on my first and only college boyfriend making out with another girl. I shuddered, pushing the memory away.
He furrowed his brow, then his expression relaxed. "I know exactly what you mean."
"What about you and
Evangeline?" I asked before I could stop myself. It wasn't any of my business but I found myself leaning forward to hear his response.
He shook his head. "Things with us are complicated. Remnants from a different time."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
"We were betrothed, a long time ago. I kept putting off the wedding date. Never could picture myself being with just one woman for the rest of my life."
That explained why she was so protective of him but didn't care when the sprite had expressed interest. It also explained why she was one of the few who challenged him. I wondered if they were romantically involved now.
"So more of a love them and leave them kind of guy?" I tried to make the words come out like more of a joke, but I wasn't very good at small talk.
His expression hardened. "I used to be, but that's part of how we ended up in this mess in the first place."
I set the book on the table in between us and adjusted my position in the chair. "What do you mean?"
"It was a love story gone wrong. A young Sayge girl and a powerful Fae. By the time she realized he wasn't interested in anything more than a tryst, she was in too deep. She left our realm and entered the human world. She was the first pure blood Sayge child in a generation, making her almost as powerful as a High Fae - and her mother was not happy to have lost such a rare child. So she took revenge.
She sent the Fae Queen of the North to declare war on the him, hoping the Fae would destroy each other. The Sayge's high priestess wanted to stop the war, so she cast a curse on both factions and those who belonged to their household. Then she exiled us to the human world until the curse could be broken. That's how we ended up here, in this form, depleted of most of our magic." He leaned his head back against the chair and closed his eyes for a moment.
I stared at him, feeling like I was finally starting to understand. I already knew the answer, but I asked anyway. "What happened to all of them?"
"The Fae and his subjects lost their magic as a result of the curse, so they withdrew like cowards. The queen somehow retained most of hers. She hunts for a way to break the curse to this day."
"I don't think you're a coward," I said.
He took a deep breath and stared up at the ceiling. "There's so much you don't know."
"Why the parties? Why a circus? Why not just break the curse and go home?" I asked.
"We've been running for five hundred years. In that time, the queen's magic grows. Her followers grow. I don't even know if our magic would return if we broke the curse. Nobody does. Without magic, we'd be defenseless."
13
A light knock sounded on the door. Brenon straightened, the weariness in his face replaced by the impassive, strong expression he wore most of the time. He walked to the door and opened it.
Clutching the book to my chest, I stood and turned to see who had found us here. Guilt swept through me at the sight of Evangeline. She narrowed her eyes at me and I looked away. Brenon and I had just been talking, but having her at the doorway, seeing the two of us alone together, made it feel more intimate.
Evangeline looked at his cheek, then down at me. I glanced down at my fingers, they had some of the remains of the white face paint on them. I moved my hands and the book I was holding behind my back.
"Miles is asking for you," Evangeline said. "The circus is restless. They need to hear from you."
Brenon ran a hand through his dark hair and looked over his shoulder at me. "Evangeline will show you to your room." Without so much as a goodbye, he walked past Evangeline and left.
I opened my mouth to say something, I wanted to call after him, but the look Evangeline gave me kept me quiet. I pressed my lips together and waited for her to say something.
"You need to be more careful," Evangeline said. "Most of the members of the circus are not as understanding as I am."
"What is that supposed to mean?" I took a step toward her, forgetting to keep my hands hidden. "I don't even know what's going on here."
She grabbed my hand, holding up the fingers with the smeared paint. "This is the kind of thing that will get you killed."
"I swear, we weren't doing anything, I didn't know you were together," I said.
She used her tee-shirt to wipe the paint off of my fingers. "You think this is about me?" Dropping my hand, she bared her teeth at me. I noticed that the ears on her head had flattened.
I took a step back from her, heart racing. She was terrifying up close. "I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm doing wrong."
"You're just like all the girls before." She shook her head. "I don't know why I expected you'd be any different."
"Just tell me what you want from me. Explain what is going on." I was getting so tired of not understanding what was happening around me.
"You and Brenon can never be together."
"I know that." My stomach twisted. Brenon was bad news, not the kind of guy I should be with, anyway. Plus, he wasn't even human. Yet, the attraction was still there no matter how much I told myself to ignore it.
I stared at Evangeline, partly wondering if she was testing me. Was she worried I was moving in on her territory? It didn't matter. What mattered was getting out of here. "I don't want to be with him. I want to go home."
Her ears straightened and her shoulders lowered. She seemed to approve of my answer. "This way." She turned and walked down the hallway.
I hurried after her, clutching the book to my stomach as we passed a series of closed doors. We paused at the end of the train car and she opened the door, passing through a small, breezy walkway to the next car. Staying one step behind her, I silently followed.
There were so many unanswered questions that came with traveling with the Rose Circus. It hadn't even been a whole day and I already longed for some familiar comforts. The sound of the television playing canned sitcom laugh tracks, the smell of coffee, my bathtub. All the things that seemed so simple; the things I took for granted.
"Here." Evangeline stopped in front of a door and knocked.
My whole body tensed. If she was knocking, I wouldn't be in the room alone. I had a roommate all four years of college. First in the dorms, then in an apartment. Dorm roommate and I never really got along. I was sure the small, shared living space with little privacy had something to do with it. We hadn't even talked since freshmen year.
Apartment roommate had been great. Susan was pre-med and serious about school. She was one of the few people I called to let know that I would be away for a while. She might even miss me while I was gone. I swallowed back a lump in my throat. I had a feeling this roommate would be more like dorm roommate than apartment roommate.
The door swung open and a girl whose entire body was covered by a layer of thick, gold paint stared out at me. She had long, straight dark hair and huge dark eyes with thick lashes. She reminded me of the way they might make a goddess look in a movie. I'd never met anybody as beautiful as her and I was completely intimidated.
Her face squished up in a look that might have been disgust. My shoulders sunk lower. Worse than dorm roommate.
"You must be Ara," she said.
I stretched out a hand in greeting. "I am, nice to meet you..."
"They call me Goldie." She glanced down at my hand, then looked back up.
I dropped my hand to my side and cleared my throat. My cheeks were hot and I hoped it was too dark in the hallway for her to see the flush of embarrassment that had likely spread across my face.
"Okay, girls. Have fun," Evangeline said.
I turned and reached out to her as she walked away. "What am I supposed to do?"
She shrugged. "Maybe you and Goldie can find something you have in common?"
Defeated, I looked up at my new roommate. "I'm sorry, I don't want to be an inconvenience to you."
Goldie raised a perfectly-sculpted dark eyebrow. "It's a little late for that, don't you think?"
There was a hint of an accent to her words that I couldn't place. Like something that used to be more promine
nt and had worn down over the years. Or centuries? Was everybody on this train as old as Brenon? I wasn't sure how to respond to her, so I just stared.
When I didn't answer, she opened the door wider. "Well, you might as well come in."
"Thanks," I said as I went through the door.
She closed the door behind me and I stood frozen, taking in the room. It was twice the size of my dorm. Larger than I would have expected for a room on a train. My bare feet sunk into plush, purple carpet. Everything else in the room was red or gold. The lampshades were draped with red fabric so even the light was red. A bed took up the space on either end of the room. Both of them were covered in red satin bedding with gold stars dotting the surface. I looked up and saw a sparkling chandelier in the center of the ceiling. "Beautiful room."
Goldie threw herself onto one of the beds. "Thanks. Took me a few decades to get it this way."
I walked over to the other bed and paused in front of it. "May I?"
"It's yours," she said. "Brenon had it dropped off earlier today for you. I made him find me a matching quilt for it. Honestly, I didn't think he'd be able to pull it off." She smoothed out the fabric next to her on her bed. "I got this one when we were in Turkey. Should have known, though. He can work wonders when he sees something he wants."
A tingle shot through my body at her words. He'd gone to a lot of trouble for me. Our encounter in the infirmary replayed through my mind. We'd been so close I could feel his breath while I wiped away the paint. My fingers throbbed, recalling the feel of the paint on them. I blinked the memory away and sat down on the bed. “Has he always worn that makeup?"
"The white face paint? No, that's just for the shows. He doesn't wear it on the train." She narrowed her eyes. "He came to see you, didn't he?"
I nodded.
"With the paint on his face?"
"Yes," I said.
She scooted back on the bed so she was sitting propped against the wall. "That's interesting. He must not want to scare you."
"Why would it scare me?" I'd seen my share of scars. My best friend, Joe was covered in burn scars from a childhood accident. We'd met in group therapy, both of us had been self-medicating with drugs for different reasons. Despite the terrible things in his life, Joe, was one of the best people I'd ever met. He taught me a valuable lesson about not judging people by their appearances.