by Diana Palmer
Kaylee swallowed hard and leaned down to pick up Amber. If she had any sense she’d take her daughter and run as hard and fast as she could back to Oklahoma City.
“Colt, I don’t think—”
“Shh, honey,” he said, placing his finger to her lips. He stared at her a moment longer, then, turning toward the door, motioned for her to follow him. “I need your help with something else.”
Thankful that Amber had interrupted the kiss, Kaylee walked on shaky legs out into the hall. Had she lost her mind? Why had she allowed him to kiss her? Hadn’t she learned anything three years ago?
Colt was the man who’d broken her heart. The man who—if she wasn’t extremely careful—could do the same thing again.
“I’d like for you to decorate this room for Amber,” he said, crossing the hall into another bed room. Completely empty, the room was like a blank canvas waiting for an artist to bring it to life. “Anything you want to do is fine with me. Buy furniture, wall decorations, toys—whatever you want or need to make it hers.”
“Are you sure about this?” Kaylee asked, setting Amber down. She watched her daughter wander around the room as if surveying what was needed to make it comfortable. “That’s a lot of expense. We haven’t even discussed how often she might be visiting the Lonetree.”
“I don’t care what it costs,” he said, shaking his head. Turning his attention to Amber, he grinned. “I want her to like it.”
Kaylee watched his expression as he gazed at Amber toddling around the room. Colt Wakefield might not have ever loved her, but he certainly cared for their daughter and wanted to do whatever he could to make her happy. He was going to be a wonderful father, and just knowing that caused Kaylee’s chest to tighten with emotion.
“Kaylee, are you all right?” Colt asked, sounding concerned. He moved closer to wipe a drop of moisture from her cheek with the pad of his thumb. “What’s wrong, honey?”
Unaware that she’d been crying, Kaylee’s cheeks burned and she impatiently wiped away her foolish tears. “I—I guess it’s just one of those moments when a mother realizes how fast her baby is growing up,” she said, hoping her excuse didn’t sound as lame to him as it did to her. Needing to put distance between them to collect herself, she started backing from the room. “If you don’t mind, I think I’ll…see what I can make for supper.”
He stared at her curiously. “Sure. Do whatever you like. I want you and Amber to feel like this is your home, too.”
Holding a shaky hand out to Amber, Kaylee coaxed, “Come on, sweetie. Let’s go downstairs to the kitchen.”
Amber looked up with a grin on her face. “Eat.”
Colt laughed. “That’s my girl. She knows what’s important.” Smiling, he asked, “Do you think she’d let me watch her while you cook?”
“Maybe,” Kaylee said, leading Amber across the loft area of the upper floor. “Do you get the children’s television network?”
“I’m pretty sure I do,” he said from behind her. “I have a satellite system with about a zillion channels. Surely one of them caters to kids.”
“You have that to watch the Rockies baseball games,” she said, descending the stairs.
His low chuckle sent a shiver up her spine. “Think you know me pretty well, huh?”
She shrugged as she walked into the kitchen. “At one time I thought I did, but it turned out I was wrong.”
He took a step toward her. “Kaylee, we need to talk about—”
“Not now, Colt.” She pointed to the entertainment center in the family room. “Why don’t you see about tuning in a children’s show? Amber might be tempted to watch it with you.”
He opened his mouth as if he wanted to argue, then, giving her a short nod, walked into the other room and switched on the big-screen television.
Relieved that he hadn’t pressed further, Kaylee breathed a sigh of relief. She wasn’t ready to talk about that night three years ago, wasn’t sure she ever wanted to hear his reasons for walking away.
As she watched Amber tentatively enter the room where Colt sat, Kaylee bit her lower lip against the deep sadness settling into every cell of her being. Agreeing to come to the Lonetree with Colt had been a big mistake. For the next couple of months she was going to be with him day-in and day-out, watching him and Amber bond, getting a glimpse of the way life might have been if only Colt could have loved her the way she’d loved him.
Giving herself a mental shake, Kaylee turned to the cabinets and busied herself with finding something to make for supper. What was wrong with her? She’d gotten over him some time ago and had moved on with her life.
But as she peeled potatoes and carrots for a pot roast, she couldn’t help but wonder how she was ever going to survive the next couple of months without losing the last scrap of what little sanity she had left.
Chapter Five
Colt smiled as he tested the way his shoulder and upper chest felt without the sling. There was a little soreness, but no pain.
“It’s about damn time,” he muttered.
He tossed the sling on top of the dresser as he walked out of his bedroom and down the hall. As far as he was concerned, he didn’t care if he never saw it again. But he knew Kaylee would raise hell with him if he threw it away.
Of course, if she gave him a lecture, it would be an improvement over the silent treatment he’d been getting for the past couple of weeks. Ever since he’d kissed her the day they’d put the crib together she’d been pensive, and although they’d spent a lot of time together, she’d kept her distance both physically and emotionally. He wasn’t sure what was running through that pretty little head of hers, but he had every intention of finding out.
The smell of fresh coffee and fried bacon beckoned, and Colt quickened his step. Since Kaylee and Amber arrived, he’d been eating better than he had in ages. At the bottom of the stairs he stepped over the child-safety gate they kept in place to block Amber’s access and followed the enticing smell into the kitchen.
“Morning,” he said cheerfully as he entered the room. “Something smells mighty good.”
“Good morning.” Kaylee stopped filling their plates. “Where’s your sling?”
“On the dresser in my room,” he said, seating himself beside Amber’s high chair at the snack bar. He grinned at his daughter and whispered loudly, “Do you think Mommy will yell at Daddy in front of you?”
“Mommy,” Amber said, pointing to Kaylee.
“Can you say ‘Daddy’?” Colt asked, hoping to hear his daughter use the word for the first time.
Amber nodded her head and picked up a handful of scrambled eggs to put in her spoon.
He and Amber had come a long way. She still wouldn’t let him hold her, but she’d stopped hiding her face every time he looked her way and giggled whenever he talked to her. She’d also started jabbering at him. Not a lot. But he suspected as time went along she’d be a regular little chatterbox.
“No, I’m not going to yell at you,” Kaylee said, placing a heaping plate of eggs, bacon and hash browns in front of him. She seated herself on the other side of Amber. “If you say it doesn’t hurt, then it’s probably safe to go without the sling.” She handed Amber a sippy cup, then gave him a warning look. “But if it starts causing you discomfort, you’d better put the sling back on or I will give you the talk I give my patients who foolishly try to push for too much, too soon.”
Colt grinned. It wasn’t exactly what he’d had in mind when he decided to draw Kaylee out, but it was a start. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Yes, Mom,” Amber repeated.
His daughter’s laughter sounded like the tinkling of a small wind chime on a gentle breeze and he found himself laughing with her. He loved hearing her mispronounce words. It was just so darned cute. Of course, as far as he was concerned, everything about his little girl was precious.
“Would you two lovely ladies like to join me this morning for a tour of my part of the Lonetree?” he asked.
The day after he�
�d brought them to the ranch the weather had turned cold as an early winter front had settled over the area. But today was supposed to be a lot warmer.
“No,” Amber said, nodding her head affirmatively.
Colt laughed as he glanced at Kaylee. “Is that a yes or a no?”
Kaylee smiled and he felt like a kid at Christmas. It was the first genuine smile he’d seen from her in quite a while. “I think if you rephrase it so that you’re asking if she wants to go outside you might get a more definitive response.”
“Would you like for Daddy and Mommy to take you for a walk outside after breakfast, Amber?”
Grinning, the little girl shook her head so hard her raven curls swung back and forth. “Ouside. Now.”
“No, sweetie, you have to eat first,” Kaylee said gently.
They ate in silence for several minutes before Colt asked, “Have you decided what you’re going to do with Amber’s room?”
“Not really.” Kaylee shrugged one shoulder. “I thought I might do an internet search to see what’s available.”
“Good idea.” He finished the last bite of his eggs, then rose from the bar stool to carry their empty plates to the sink. Rinsing them, he placed them in the dishwasher. “You might even give Annie and Samantha a call. I’m sure they’d be more than happy to go shopping down in Laramie with you.”
“I’ll think about it,” Kaylee said, wiping Amber’s face and hands with a damp cloth, then lifting her from the high chair. “What time did you want to give us that tour?”
“Anytime you’re ready.”
Taking Amber by the hand, she nodded. “We’ll be down as soon I get her changed out of her pajamas.”
He watched her lead Amber upstairs. Even though Kaylee had seemed in better spirits this morning, there was a sadness about her that twisted his gut. To know he was the cause of her unhappiness made him feel like the biggest jerk the good Lord ever blessed with the breath of life. How was he going to make things right? What could he do to bring the smile back to Kaylee’s pretty face?
She wouldn’t allow him to explain why he’d left her alone the morning after he’d made love to her, didn’t want to hear his lame excuses. And he couldn’t say he blamed her.
For the past few years he’d been telling himself that he was ashamed of taking advantage of her, felt as if he’d betrayed Mitch’s trust. But the real reason he’d run like a tail-tucked dog was because of the way Kaylee had made him feel that night. He’d never felt more emotionally connected to another person in his entire life. And it had scared the living hell out of him.
Colt sucked in a sharp breath. Had he been on the verge of falling in love with Kaylee?
He rejected the notion immediately. Emotions had been running high that night, they’d both been hurting from Mitch’s loss, and they’d turned to each other for comfort and support.
“You’re losing it, Wakefield,” he muttered disgustedly.
Shaking his head at his own foolishness, he crossed the great room to the foyer and grabbed his Resistol from one of the hooks by the door. He needed to find a way to make amends for his actions three years ago and to get back the easy friendship he’d once shared with Kaylee, not confuse the issue with a lot of self-analyzation.
“How old is the stallion?” Kaylee asked when Colt walked them over to the enclosed paddock where the black horse she’d seen the day they’d arrived stood munching on a flake of hay.
“He’ll be five this spring.”
Colt stood so close she could feel the warmth from his much larger body, smell the clean, woodsy scent of his aftershave. Holding Amber’s hand, Kaylee stepped closer to the fence to put a little space between them. Her breath caught when he followed her.
“I miss having a horse,” she said wistfully.
“What happened to your buckskin mare?”
“I had to sell her at the same time I sold the ranch.” It still hurt whenever she thought of having to get rid of the horse Mitch had given her for her twentieth birthday.
“Why did you sell the ranch, Kaylee?” The gentle tone of Colt’s deep baritone sent a wave of goose bumps shimmering over her skin.
They hadn’t discussed her reasons for selling the ranch. In fact, they hadn’t talked about much of anything personal for the past couple of weeks. But telling him why she’d sold the ranch seemed like a safe enough topic.
“I couldn’t afford to keep it,” she finally said, still hating the fact that she’d had to part with the ranch that her family had owned for more than seventy-five years.
Clearly confused, Colt frowned as he propped his forearms on the top rail of the fence. “But Mitch told me he’d been investing all of his winnings since before your parents died.”
“He had been.” Turning to face him, she smiled sadly. “Mitch put everything he had into improving the ranch.”
“He didn’t leave anything in savings?” Colt asked incredulously.
She shook her head. “No. He closed out his account when he started raising Red Brangus cattle.”
“He was really proud of that breeding program,” Colt said, nodding.
“With good reason.” Kaylee stared at a golden eagle tracing lazy circles in the sky above. “But what he didn’t tell you, me or anyone else was that he’d not only wiped out his savings, he’d taken a mortgage on the ranch to get the program up and running.”
“I had no idea, honey.” Colt reached out to cup her cheek and the feel of his calloused palm on her skin sent a tiny spark of electric current to every nerve in her body.
“I didn’t, either. I was away at school and didn’t find out about any of it until I started going over Mitch’s accounts the week after he died.” She swallowed around the lump in her throat. Talking about the ranch had been a bad idea, but the conversation had gone too far to turn back now. “Everything would have been fine once he got everything established, but he…died before that happened.” Tears flooded her eyes. “And without his PBR winnings to help supplement the ranch, I couldn’t keep it going.”
“I’m so sorry, honey,” Colt said, reaching out to take her into his arms.
Kaylee told herself she should move away, that she needed to put distance between them before she did something stupid. But the feel of his strength surrounding her, the steady beat of his heart beneath her ear, were too comforting to resist.
“Mommy, up,” Amber said, tugging on her hand.
Releasing her, Colt bent to pick Amber up, but she pushed his hands away. “No! Mommy.”
Kaylee wiped her eyes, then swung her daughter up to hug her close. Amber immediately threw her arms around Kaylee’s neck and buried her face in Kaylee’s shoulder.
“It’s all right, sweetie,” Kaylee crooned. “Mommy was just being a big baby and feeling sorry for herself.”
“Honey, you have every right—”
“I think I’ll take Amber inside now,” she interrupted, backing away from him.
Kaylee felt Colt’s gaze follow her as she hurried toward the back door. Pride was about all she had left, and she needed time to collect herself before she faced him again. She’d spent three years fighting to keep from lamenting all that she’d lost, and she was embarrassed that he’d seen her give in to it.
Colt watched Kaylee disappear into the house before he let loose with a string of blistering curses, and every single one of them was self-directed. How could he have left her alone to deal with everything she’d had to face after Mitch died? Why hadn’t he picked up the phone and at least called to inquire how she was doing?
But as he castigated himself, he knew she would have never admitted needing help—wouldn’t have accepted it from him even if he’d known about her circumstances and offered his assistance. He shook his head. When it came to stubborn pride, Kaylee had enough for a dozen people.
“What the hell were you thinking, Mitch?” he murmured out loud.
The shrill cry of the eagle circling above the pasture had him absently gazing skyward. He couldn’t chan
ge the past—couldn’t bring Mitch back to ask him why he’d left Kaylee without any resources and no recourse but to sell the ranch—and there was no sense spending time wishing that he could.
Staring at the big bird soaring overhead, Colt decided that the past might be over and gone, but the future was a clean slate—wide open and ready for him to start making things easier for Kaylee. In the process he fully intended to see that she was a lot happier than she’d been in a long time.
He grinned suddenly. And he knew exactly where he wanted to start making that happen.
He headed for the house and didn’t stop until he was seated behind the desk in his office. Dialing the phone, he didn’t bother with a greeting when his oldest brother answered on the third ring.
“Morgan, I need you and Brant to find a buckskin mare for me.”
“Colt, I’m only going to tell you this one time,” Kaylee said sternly. “If you don’t stop trying to push your progress, you’re on your own.” She pointed to the weight room door. “I’ll walk out and you’ll have to find someone else to help you with your physical therapy.”
“It won’t hurt if I do an extra set of the isometric exercises.” He frowned. “Besides, if I don’t push myself, I won’t be ready in time for finals.”
“I could care less if you make it to Las Vegas,” she said, unable to stop herself from telling him exactly how she felt. “I’m not helping you regain the strength in your arm just so you can go back into an arena again and get hurt, or…worse.”
“Calm down, honey,” he said, taking a step toward her.
“I’m perfectly calm,” she lied, taking a step back. She wasn’t, but he didn’t need to know that the very thought of him climbing onto the back of a bull sent a chilling numbness all the way to her very soul. “I have no intention of helping you risk your life for an eight-second adrenaline rush.”
“You’ve always known that I’m a bull rider.” He gave her a measuring look as he advanced. “Why don’t you want me in the arena now, Kaylee?”
She swallowed hard and took another step back. How could she tell him that although she knew they had no future together, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to go on if something happened to him?