by Diana Palmer
When their laughter faded, Colt stared at the road ahead. “Mitch and I had a lot of good times over the years.”
“He really loved you, Colt,” she said quietly. “You were like a brother to him.”
Colt’s gut clenched painfully, as it always did when he thought of losing the best friend he’d ever had. “I felt the same way about him.”
They rode in silence for several miles as Colt wrestled with his conscience. He wasn’t sure if he was about to ruin what little friendship they had left, but they needed to clear the air about what happened three years ago.
“Kaylee, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I think it’s time we stopped walking on eggshells around each other, talk over what happened the morning after we made love, and move on.”
Her quick intake of breath was the only sound she made for several tense moments. “I’m not sure I can do that, Colt.” Her voice shook and he could tell this wasn’t going to be easy for either of them.
“We have to, honey,” he said, reaching over to take her hand in his. “We have a little girl depending on us to work this out between us. Her happiness depends on it.”
Kaylee remained silent so long, he wasn’t sure she was going to agree. “All right,” she finally said, sighing. “Say what you feel you have to and get it over with.”
He stared at the road ahead as he tried to put his thoughts into words. “First off, I want you to know there hasn’t been a day gone by that I haven’t regretted the way I handled the situation.” Taking a deep breath, he figured it was better to say it outright and get it over with. “I left without waking you that morning because I was so ashamed of what I’d done, I couldn’t face you, Kaylee. I know it was the coward’s way out, but I knew I couldn’t stand seeing the regret or the hatred in your eyes for what I’d done.”
“What on earth gave you the impression that I’d feel that way?” She sounded shocked.
“Because you turned to me for comfort and I let things go too far.” He swallowed down his own self-disgust. “I should have called a halt to things before it got out of hand.”
“Excuse me? What makes you think you were the only one who could have stopped what happened?” she asked incredulously. She shook her head. “Let me clue you in on something, cowboy. You weren’t alone in that bed. I could have—”
“No, Kaylee.” He heard what she was saying, but he couldn’t let her take any part of the blame for what had happened. “Mitch was my best friend, and the night after his funeral I was taking his sister’s virginity.” Colt shook his head. “Do you really think that’s something I’m proud of?”
She reached out to put her hand on his arm. “Colt—”
“If I could go back and change things, I swear I would, Kaylee,” he said seriously.
They remained silent for some time before she spoke again. “There’s something that I wouldn’t change about what happened three years ago even if I could,” she said quietly.
“What’s that, honey?”
There was no hesitation when she answered. “Amber. She’s my life now.”
Colt swallowed hard as he digested what Kaylee had just told him. She didn’t regret having his child. Did that mean she had no regrets about making love with him?
“I have to ask you something, and I want you to be completely honest with me,” he said, his heart pumping so hard he wasn’t sure she couldn’t hear it.
“I think we’ve gone over—”
“I wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important to me, Kaylee,” he said, taking her hand in his.
She looked as if she was going to refuse, then finally nodded. “All right. What do you want to know?”
“You said you weren’t sorry you had Amber.” He took a deep breath. He’d probably gone completely around the bend, but he had to know. “Do you have any regrets about making love with me that night?”
She remained silent a moment, then shook her head. “No. I’ve never been sorry about what happened that night.”
Two hours later, as they left the Broken Spoke Steakhouse and turned onto the road leading back to the Lonetree, Colt was still thinking about Kaylee’s admission. Hell, he hadn’t been able to think of anything else the entire evening.
Had he been wrong all this time about what happened that night?
For three years he’d convinced himself that he’d taken advantage of her, that he’d seduced her when she’d been the most vulnerable. But had that really been the case? Or had she been just as desperate as he’d been to escape the emotional trauma of losing Mitch with the life-affirming act of making love with someone she really cared for?
“Colt, are you all right?” Kaylee asked, dragging his attention back to the present.
He shook off his disturbing speculation as he glanced at her across the truck cab. “Sure. Why do you ask?”
“You’ve been distracted all evening,” she said, looking concerned. “And when we were eating, you kept staring at your steak like you expected it to moo. I’ve never known you to lose your appetite before.”
“Well, it was pretty rare.”
“It was definitely that,” Kaylee said, grinning.
The appearance of her smile and the sound of her velvet voice caused his heart to thump hard against his ribs. He didn’t think he’d ever seen her look prettier, or more desirable.
But he was determined to keep things light. He wasn’t willing to jeopardize the easy mood that had developed between them over the course of the evening.
“Did you enjoy yourself tonight?” he asked as he casually stretched his arm along the back of the bench seat.
“Yes, I did.” She hesitated a moment before she added, “But I owe you an apology.”
“For what?” He couldn’t think of anything that she’d need to apologize for.
“I’m sorry for the way I acted earlier,” she said, her voice small. “You know, about your surprising me this evening.”
Her silky hair brushed his hand, sending tiny currents of electricity streaking through him. He couldn’t stop himself from tangling his fingers in the auburn strands.
“I’m just glad you had a good time, honey.”
“But I shouldn’t have overreacted the way I did,” she insisted. “You were just trying to be nice and—”
“I think we both learned something about each other tonight,” he interrupted.
She turned her head to give him a questioning look. “What would that be?”
“I’m not nearly as devious as you thought.” He chuckled as he steered the truck onto the lane leading to his house. “And you don’t like surprises.”
She shook her head. “That’s not entirely true. It depends on the surprise.” Grinning, she added, “Sometimes they can be very nice.”
Parking the truck, he got out and walked around to open the passenger door for her. “I’ll remind you of that the next time I decide to surprise you.”
Even though she was smiling, she looked a bit apprehensive. “Next time?”
“Sure.” When she got out of the truck, he shut the door then draped a companionable arm across her shoulders and started walking toward the house. “Didn’t you know, life is nothing more than a series of astounding events, punctuated by stretches of monotonous boredom?”
“That’s pretty deep for a cowboy,” she said, laughing.
“Watch it, brat.” He gave her a playful hug as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “I’ll have you know I made straight A’s in my college philosophy courses.”
“You actually attended classes?” She shook her head in mock amazement. “I’m impressed. I always thought you and Mitch were there to meet girls.”
“Well, there was that, too,” he said, grinning. As they climbed the porch steps, he chuckled. “But there’s a funny thing about those scholarships they give out for college rodeo teams.”
“What’s that?”
“They actually expect you to pass a few classes.”
“Imagine that,” she said
laughing.
Reluctant for the evening to end, when they reached the front door Colt turned her to face him. “I know that you don’t like surprises,” he said, using his thumb to push his hat back on his head. With the brim out of the way, he took her into his arms. “So I think I’d better warn you. I’m going to kiss you now, Kaylee.”
She gazed up at him, and just when he thought she was going to tell him to buzz off, she nodded. “I think I’d like that, Colt.”
Lowering his head, he told himself to keep the kiss simple. But the moment his mouth touched hers, the spark of desire that had been flickering inside him all evening ignited into a flame. He couldn’t have stopped himself from pulling her to him any more than he could stop the changing of the seasons.
When her lips parted on a soft sigh and he slipped his tongue inside, the sweet taste that was uniquely Kaylee made his pulse pound and his temperature soar. As he stroked her tongue with his, a tiny moan escaped her and she put her arms around his neck. The feel of her nails lightly raking the sensitive skin at his nape and her eagerness to get closer to him sent shock waves to every cell in his body and liquid fire racing through his veins.
Her supple body molding to his quickly worked its magic and his arousal was not only predictable, it made him light-headed with its intensity. Sliding one hand down to cup her delightful little bottom, he pulled her forward. He wanted her to feel the need she’d created in him, to let her know how wrong she’d been about his not being attracted to her.
Bringing his other hand up under her jean jacket and along her side, he cupped her breast and chafed her puckered nipple through the layers of her pink T-shirt and bra. The bud tightened further and his own body hardened in response. He’d never wanted a woman more than he wanted Kaylee at that very moment.
Slowly breaking the kiss, he held her close as he tried to bring his breathing under control. How on God’s green earth had he managed to talk himself into believing that he and Kaylee could return to the easy relationship they’d once shared?
Hell, nothing could be further from the truth. With sudden clarity, Colt realized that he and Kaylee had crossed a line three years ago and there was no turning back. The only thing they could do now would be to move forward and try to build something new.
“Colt, I…we—” She shook her head. “This can’t happen again.”
“It’s all right, honey.”
Easing back, Colt found the sight of her perfect lips slightly swollen from his kiss and the rosy blush of desire on her pale cheeks absolutely fascinating. Her luminous violet eyes were filled with questions that at the moment he couldn’t even begin to answer. And he wasn’t fool enough to try.
“Don’t be frightened of what’s happening between us, Kaylee.” He smoothed her silky auburn hair with a shaky hand. “We’re not going to rush into something before we’re both ready. This time we’re going to take it a step at a time and see where it leads us.” He kissed the tip of her cute little nose. “Now, let’s go inside and listen to my brothers and their wives tell us how adorable our daughter is and how much fun she had getting to know her cousins.”
As Kaylee gazed up at Colt, she knew beyond a shadow of doubt that her feelings for him were as strong, if not stronger, than they had ever been. The realization caused her breathing to stall and her heart to skip several beats.
For the past few years she’d convinced herself that she’d gotten over him, that she’d moved on with her life. But it was past time she stopped lying to herself and faced the truth. She’d never stopped loving Colt—could never stop loving him.
She bit her lower lip against the panic threatening to swamp her. But before she had the chance to come to grips with her discovery and what it might mean to her sanity, Colt stepped back, took her hand in his and opened the front door.
Dazed and feeling as if she was moving through a heavy fog, she allowed him to lead her through the house to the family room. Standing just inside the doorway, she watched Amber put her arms around a baby boy, who appeared to be about a year old, as she kissed his chubby little cheek.
“Baby,” she said, grinning at Annie and another woman sitting on the couch.
When the woman Kaylee assumed to be Morgan’s wife, Samantha, turned to smile at Amber, she noticed Kaylee and Colt. “Look who’s home, Amber.”
“Mommy!” Amber said, her grin widening as she ran over for Kaylee to pick her up.
“Did you have a good time with your cousins?” Kaylee asked, swinging her daughter up into her arms.
“No,” Amber said, nodding affirmatively. She immediately began to wiggle as she pointed to the floor. “Down.”
“Hey there, Kaylee-Q,” Brant said as he and Morgan both rose from their chairs. He wrapped her in a bear hug. “It’s good to see you again.”
“It’s nice seeing you, too, Brant,” she said, meaning it.
She’d missed seeing Colt’s brothers. They’d always treated her and Mitch like they were members of their family.
When Brant released her, Morgan took his place. “It’s been way too long, Kaylee. We’ve missed having you around.”
She hugged the oldest of the Wakefield brothers. “You’ve just missed having someone around to tease unmercifully.”
“I see you can still hold your own with us,” Morgan said, laughing as he released her. He held out his arm for the pretty, brown-haired woman to step into his embrace. “Kaylee, this is my wife, Samantha.”
“It’s nice to finally meet you, Kaylee,” Samantha said, smiling. “I’ve heard so much about you, I feel like I’ve known you for years. In fact, Annie and I were just talking about taking you with us down to Laramie next week for lunch and shopping.”
Annie grinned. “We thought a girls’ afternoon at the mall would be nice.”
“I’d like that,” Kaylee said, noticing Brant and Morgan simultaneously wink and grin at their wives as if they shared a delightful secret.
Before she had a chance to speculate on what was going on, a little boy walked over to them and held his arms up to Colt. “Unca Colt, I gots a new watch.”
“You sure do, Timmy,” Colt said, picking the child up to sit on his right forearm.
“No,” Amber said, shaking her head vigorously.
Shocked at the uncharacteristic vehemence in her daughter’s voice and the correct use of the negative gesture, Kaylee turned to watch Amber run across the room toward the adults. When she stopped in front of Colt, she held up her little arms for him to pick her up.
“Up, Daddy,” Amber insisted. “Up.”
Chapter Seven
Colt’s heart stopped then took off at a gallop at Amber’s insistence that he pick her up. It was the first time his daughter had wanted him to hold her and he wasn’t about to miss the opportunity. Unfortunately, he still couldn’t lift anything with his left arm, and if he set Timmy on his feet, Colt ran the risk of hurting the little boy’s feelings. And that was something he just wouldn’t do.
“Let me take him,” Morgan said, apparently sensing Colt’s dilemma.
“Thanks,” Colt said, handing the three-year-old to his dad.
With his right arm free, he bent to lift his daughter up to sit on his forearm. She immediately wrapped her little arms around his neck to give him a hug before she turned to glare at Timmy.
“Mine Daddy,” she said as if staking her claim.
Colt’s chest tightened with emotion and he felt as if he had a lump the size of a basketball clogging his throat. The feeling of finally holding his daughter, of knowing that she’d accepted him, was overwhelming.
He felt Kaylee touch his elbow. Being careful not to move his shoulder farther than was comfortable, he put his left arm around her waist and pulled her to his side. Gazing down at her, he suddenly felt as if he held everything in his arms that he’d ever wanted. It should have scared the hell out of him. Instead, it filled him with a sense of completion like nothing he’d ever known.
Unaware that she’d given Colt a momen
t he’d never forget as long as he lived, Amber began to pull on the wide brim of his hat. “Me wear. Me.”
He couldn’t have denied her if his life depended on it. Removing his Resistol, he set it on her little head so that it didn’t cover her eyes. “There you go, pixie.”
“I think Amber is going to be a Daddy’s girl,” Annie said as she wiped a tear from her cheek.
“I think so, too,” Samantha agreed, sniffling. When Colt’s youngest nephew, Jared, whimpered and lifted his arms for his mother to pick him up, Samantha smiled. “I hate to cut the evening short, but I think we need to take the boys home and get them ready for bed.”
Annie nodded. “Brant and I need to do the same with Zach.”
“Come on, partner,” Brant said, catching his son around the waist to swing the little boy up and onto his shoulders. “Mommy said it’s time for us to head home.”
Colt held his daughter as he and Kaylee walked his brothers and their families to the door. “Thanks for watching Amber this evening.”
“It was our pleasure,” Samantha said, raising on tiptoe to kiss Amber’s cheek. “Bye-bye, Amber.”
Amber raised her hand and waved, then laid her head on Colt’s shoulder. The gesture was so trusting that he thought his heart might burst from the love filling it.
“You have a sweet little girl there, Colt,” Morgan said. Turning to Kaylee, he smiled. “If this joker gives you any problems, don’t hesitate to call me. I’ll straighten him out in a hurry.”
“And if you can’t get hold of Morgan, call me,” Brant added with a grin.
“Thanks for the votes of confidence,” Colt grumbled as he watched Kaylee accept hugs from both of his brothers.
“I’ll call you tomorrow about our afternoon at the mall, Kaylee,” Annie said before giving Colt a knowing grin.
Now what was that all about?
He’d noticed the bemused expressions on both of his brothers’ and their wives’ faces each time the trip to the mall had been mentioned. But before he could ask what was going on, Annie gave Amber a little wave, then hurried across the porch and down the steps.