by Honor James
“Somehow I seriously doubt that,” he murmured, staring down at his baby girl. “She’s already plotting and planning isn’t she?” he asked, looking to Jamison curiously.
Jami shrugged and admitted, “It could be she is just sitting there trying to figure out when you are going to tell me what her ability is. So.” She took a deep breath. “Do you know what her ability is, Raven? What do you think it is?”
“You little rat,” he murmured with a smile to his child. “She gave me a show when I went to pick her up,” he told Jamison as he shifted Emily to lie against his heart. Jamison watched him cradling Emily in his large hands, her attention returning to him when he let out a soft sigh. “She’s a healer of the spirit, the soul, basically all the internal aches of a person.”
“Oh.” Jamison’s eyes went wide. “I’ve never heard of that one before, Ra.” She grinned at Emily as she asked of Raven, “And did she help you at all, love, or was her show merely for just that, show? She’s already learning how to turn her daddy around her pinky, isn’t she?”
“And she does not need any more help,” he told Jamison with a pointed look since they both knew that he was wrapped around Jamison’s finger. “No, it wasn’t merely for show,” he said, looking back to Emily. Stroking a finger down her cheek, he let out a sigh. “She felt my worry about her, and she helped ease it with her little display.”
“And yet she doesn’t seem to be any worse for it,” Jamison said as she stroked a finger down their daughter’s other cheek. “She’s amazing, Raven, to have an ability like that,” she whispered. “I love you both. You are both my heroes, my loves, and everything to me.”
Startled at her words, he looked to her sharply and frowned. “What do you mean by that?” he asked quietly. Watching her, he gently rubbed a light hand over Emily’s leg gently, his eyes focused on her face.
“Mean by what, Raven? I love you both, you are everything to me. I adore you both, and you are both my heroes.” Jamison frowned at him in confusion.
Shaking his head, he smiled faintly. “Why are you referring to me as a hero?” he asked. He could accept and understand her saying that of Emily, her gift from birth was an amazing thing and was truly stunning to him.
“Because you saved us, Raven. You brought us home, you saved me from a life of being alone, and you saved me even before we became intimate. You might not want to believe it, darling, but you are a hero, you are mine, and I refuse to allow you to think anything less than what I am telling you. I love you, Raven, but don’t think I won’t beat you if you even dare say that you’re not.”
Raven couldn’t say a thing, he was too stunned to let his mind even contemplate words. But he did know that his cheeks were heating and, out of defense, he lifted Emily up so he could bury his nose against her belly. Breathing her in, he fought for something to say as he lost himself in her baby scent.
“All right, enough of that, my dear one.” Jamison rubbed a hand up and down his arm. “I think that we need to go and have something to eat, Ra. I’m getting hungry and we need to let Emily have some more time with her adoring masses, I do believe.”
“They had better behave around her,” he muttered. He didn’t want anyone influencing his baby girl in anything but the very best of ways or he’d be breaking skulls. Lifting his head, he looked to Jamison and, in a quick move, leaned over to kiss her. “I love you.”
She smiled and licked her lips. “I love you, too, Raven, very much.” Pulling back she nodded slowly. “And they will behave, my lord, I promise you that they will behave. Already our people absolutely adore her, Raven, and they will always protect her.”
“And so they should, she’s perfect,” he said, looking to Emily with a feeling of love trying to rip from his skin it felt so large and amazing. She was his little girl and, in his eyes, perfect already. She could do no wrong, and he knew that was going to get him into serious trouble when she got older. “Come on, my lady, let’s go and get ourselves some food,” he said.
“I think that is a brilliant idea,” she said and moved with him. “You have the most precious part of this expedition in your arms, Ra. Lead on, dear man. I’m right beside you.”
Smiling at her, Raven made sure she was moving and then stayed at her pace as he led them through the halls and down to the kitchens. He was ever more conscious of where every person was in the house and all in relation to his daughter. He knew that could be a problem if he didn’t get it under control. The beast was and always had been extremely strong inside of him.
Jami listened to the chatter of Emily and frowned at something. “Raven, honey, are you all right?” She stopped them just outside of the dining hall. “Em says you are squeezing, tense.” She placed her hands on his and looked down to see their daughter looking up at him with love and hope in her eyes. She adored her father, it was as clear as the day was long.
He looked to her and then around, rolling his shoulders in an obvious attempt to relax. “I am just having the oddest reaction to everyone in the house being so close to her. It will be fine, I’ll work on it, Jamison, I promise.”
“I know, Ra.” She leaned into him and propped her chin on his shoulder. “I know because I’m feeling the same way. I love her, too, Raven. She’s our first child, our daughter, and it is our right to protect her from any and all. You are feeling the way you are because you are a father now, Ra. Your protective instincts are kicking into turbo because right now she is vulnerable, and all the protection she has is us.”
Leaning his cheek to her forehead, he let out a tired sigh. “Do you think it ever gets better?” he asked softly. She was glad that he finally realized he could pose questions to her and she would take them seriously. She only very rarely laughed at the ideas he got into his head, some were actually quite amusing she found. “Do you think that the clamp around my heart when I think of her in the world will ever ease?”
“Not completely,” she admitted honestly. “It will always be there, Raven, no matter how many children that you and I have, and she will always be your firstborn. She is your first girl, and she will forever have her name on that iron vise holding your heart, squeezing the breath from you.” She looked up at him and smiled, patting his arm. “It’s how we deal with it that matters, Ra. We let her have a life, be there when she needs us, and protect her as we are supposed to.”
“And what of the chastity belt?” he asked, his tone intensely serious. Then he glared at her when her lips twitched in her amusement. “I’m serious, love. I think she should have to wear one from the day she’s beginning to get looks until the day I die.”
“Not going to happen, my lord husband.” She chuckled, all smiles now. “She will one day find love, but in the process she will have her heart broken or break hearts. A part of growing up is experiencing physical love.” She squeezed his arm as she reminded him. “I didn’t come to you with a chastity belt on. If I remember right I wanted you to toss me against the bulkhead and make your wicked and delicious way with me. Our girl will have life, she will be intimate with men, but it’s up to you and I to give her the morals that we have, to ensure that she only chooses the best of men to share herself with.”
He growled at her, not a very nice sound. But given the look on his face, Jami was guessing that what she’d said was not the answer he’d been looking for. “Any man touches her that is not her soul mate and I swear I’ll tear their hearts out.” Jamison caught the shocked expression on Emily’s face before Raven lifted her to press a kiss to her cheek. “I’m sorry, baby girl. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
Jami had to hide the smile curling her lips. It had been fine for her to have others before him, but the thought of his little girl with anyone other than her soul tie had him in a fit and ready to kill. It was kind of amusing truth be told. “All right, love. She will be fine, Raven, I promise.”
“Of course she will,” he said with a decisive nod as they continued through the house. “She will learn everything I know to protect herself, an
d I will keep a close eye on her. She’ll be perfectly fine.” And if he said it enough times it might be the truth eventually. Gods he hoped he knew what he was doing, he really needed a manual or something.
“Then you see, that is really all that we can do, Raven. Simply give her all the tools she will need for life, trust that she will have the ability to make her own choices and decisions, and feel confident that we gave her all she will need to be a thriving and healthy individual.”
“Uh-huh.” He threw her a look and smiled slightly. “I’m still going to watch her like a father should, so that tact, while interesting, is not going to get me to back off completely. But you are right, I will ensure she has every tool available to her and I will ease back a little to give her room to grow.”
Jami just smiled and shook her head. He knew she was just going along with him in the moment. “I love you, Ra,” she said simply and rubbed her hand up and down his arm. “I believe in you, darling. You will make sure that she has everything, and so, too, will I.”
Smiling at her, he led both his women into the kitchens and then nearly ran for the door when the staff saw he had Emily. Under a swarm of females and males all cooing at his child, Raven stared at Jamison in horror mouthing “help” to her. He didn’t do well with that many around him, and he prayed she realized he was in serious trouble.
Jami placed herself between Raven and the people trying to get closer. Smiling gently at them, she said, “Thank you all for being a part of our family, but I think that Daddy and his little girl need just a little time and room to breathe?” They all bowed their heads and filed away, only a couple remaining close to be there in case they were needed. “Better?” she whispered as she leaned into him and pressed a kiss to the side of his neck.
Wrapping his arm around her, he nodded as he held her close. “Thank you, my lady,” he whispered against her ear. He knew he’d have to get over his seemingly nasty phobia, but it wasn’t as easy as he’d expected it to be. It was one reason he’d always willingly thrown himself into his missions. Alone with only himself to rely upon, it was his best working scenario. Breathing her in slowly, he lifted his head with a nod. “It will get better one day,” he promised to them both.
“Sweetheart, we will love you no matter what. If it does, it does and if it doesn’t, it doesn’t. Emily and I will always be here for you, Raven. You know it as well as you know your own name, darling.” She also knew that he sometimes just needed reassurance, and she would always be there to give him that.
Not sure what to say to that, he never did when she was so supportive of his oddities, Raven nudged her to keep moving. The fact that she knew when he needed a bit of reassurance was nice, even if it made him feel like he was leaning too heavily on her. “Food,” he said to her as he looked down at Emily and had to wonder how much she recalled of his talks with her while Jamison had slept. He’d told her pretty much everything about himself, including his near constant state of awareness and absolute hatred of having people too close. His staff had known that always, but having his daughter around seemed to have broken that clear line, smudging it so much that they got too close without a thought.
Emily looked up at her father and the soft baby-blue eyes held the knowledge of the ages, they blinked at him and he knew in that look she knew all they talked about. “Right, food,” Jamison said from his side before he felt her moving toward the table. “Sit down. Do you want me to take her, Ra? So that you can eat? I don’t mind, you know.”
Mock growling at her, he shifted Emily to his other side as he sat down away from her. “You had her a whole day already. I need to catch up a little.” That and have a talk with her later about keeping at least some of what he’d told her secret. He was telling Jamison his life, but he was going slow so that she didn’t worry or freak out as she put it.
She laughed and shook her head. “You are so silly.” She reached over to pat his hand with soft look in her eyes. “But I will let you, darling. She’s your daughter, too, and she also happens to really like having you holding her.”
“Well I’m glad about that at least, because I find I love holding her,” Raven commented softly, still more than a little shy about admitting any feelings regarding anyone or anything. Lowering his head, he pressed his nose to the top of Emily’s and breathed in her soft and sweet baby scent. “She’s perfect, Jamison,” he murmured, straightening after a moment. “You are amazing, both of you.”
“Well of course we are,” Jami said with a smug little grin. “We were made for you, and anything less than amazing simply wouldn’t cut it, not with as terrific as you are, my Lord husband.” Letting his hand go, she stroked loving fingers over the back of their daughter’s head. “And besides, she has to be perfect because she is more than half yours, husband.”
That was the part that worried Raven. Emily was half his, which made him nervous as to what she would turn out to be as an adult. If he could keep her sheltered enough he’d worry less, but he knew that he could only do so much without her hating him. “That scares me, Jamison,” he murmured softly to her. “I’m not exactly kind…” Or gentle, nice, or perfect in any way and he knew it well.
“Ra, you are far more than you give yourself credit for. You are a wonderful man and a terrific husband, and you are going to be the best of fathers. You will love her, shelter and protect her, and teach her, and she will love you, Ra. But one day she will grow up and I think that is when you will see how much like you she is.”
“Then I think we are in real trouble,” he said without any real humor in his tone. He knew exactly what he was like. His lady wife, on the other hand, seemed to have blinders on about him.
Jamison shook her head and smiled. He had no idea just what a good man he was and she hoped that one day he would see it. He would see why she loved him so much and just why their daughter was going to turn out to be an incredible young woman.
Looking over at her, Raven worried about the look on her face. It was one that he knew boded ill for him. It usually ended up with him agreeing to anything she said and doing anything she wanted. Not that it was bad all the time. Every now and again it ended up extremely pleasant for them both.
Chapter 15
She babbled almost nonstop for two and a half months. No true words, more sounds than anything else. She laughed, played, and clapped in delight but more often than not she would be found talking constantly to her guards, her teddy bears, the staff, and even the corners of a room. It didn’t matter where she was but the young lady Emily was forever talking.
Two and a half months, almost to the day she walked into her daddy’s library, a guard at her back and smiling as he walked in with her. Looking up and seeing her father, she raised her chubby little arms. “Da-da-da-da.” It was her standard demand to be lifted up, cuddled, and listened to.
Startled, Raven looked up and stared. “Emily?” he asked in shock. Getting to his feet, he quickly rounded the desk to scoop her up in his arms. “Are you talking, baby girl?” he asked her as she fell silent once she was up. “Tell Daddy just what you are talking about, darling.”
Smiling, she patted his cheeks and pressed a big sloppy wet kiss to his chin before she started up again. “Da-da-da-da.” She grinned big and was blowing out bubbles once more before she laid her head to his shoulder and poked his chin lightly finger as she continued with the da-da bit.
“Oh, baby girl,” he whispered, holding her tight to him, his heart swelling with pride in his chest. And then came the next thought, and he headed off to find his lady wife. Finding her in the garden with her guards standing back so she didn’t put them to work, Raven looked at her and, over his daughter’s happy babbling, asked flat out, “Who in the world taught my baby girl to talk?!”
Jami laughed and shook her head, brushing the dirt off her skirt and tugging off her gloves as she approached. “I don’t know, but she’s got the wrong word,” she said and tickled Emily’s cheek. “It’s supposed to be ‘ma-ma’ not ‘da-da.’”
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Emily laughed and shook her head. “Da-da,” was all she retorted with.
Frowning, he shook his head. “One word leads to another and then she’ll be talking, walking, and going out into the world alone,” he protested. “Then boys will start to notice her and that just won’t do, love, this is all unacceptable.”
“Oh, Ra, honey,” Jamison said and moved her hand to cup her husband’s cheek. “She is supposed to grow up, my love. She can’t stay a baby for the rest of her life, honey, I’m sorry, but it’s just the way that it is, darling.”
“But it’s just not fair,” he muttered darkly. Already he was planning on pulling his weapons out of storage and checking them over carefully. He’d need them, he was sure. “I just got her and she’s already growing up on me, Jami.”
“Raven, honey, she will always be your little girl. She will always be yours to spoil, but you have to let her grow at her own pace. Besides, it’s only babbling words like “da-da,” my lord. She’s not solving the world’s issues in her sleep.” Jamison tipped her chin with a grin, drawing his attention down to where Emily was sound asleep against his shoulder.
“Today maybe, but tomorrow the gods only know,” he muttered to her as he rubbed Emily’s back gently. “I know I’m being an idiot, love, and I thank you that you are not pointing it out, but she’s my baby.”
“You’re being a good father.” Jamison smiled. “But you know if you would like to put her into her crib, I’m sure that you could practice on creating your son if you would like?” Her tone suggested she would like it, a lot.
Her words left him torn, just as he knew that she knew that detail. He loved every chance he got to hold his baby girl, but he simply couldn’t do without his lady wife naked in his bed. “Deal,” he said and turned toward the house. “I’ll meet you in our bed chamber. Make sure that there is nothing to impede me,” he called over his shoulder.
“Believe me, darling, there will be nothing there. Hurry to me, Raven. I need you desperately, it’s been far too long.” Jamison raced past him, shooting a grin as she went past and barreled for the stairs with her skirts held up high.