by Tyler Grey
I handed her a cup, and we took it to the living room. I asked her to give me a second, and I ran to my room and threw on some jeans and a T-shirt and came back down. I sat opposite her and took my cup.
“So, how are you?” I said casually.
“I’m fine. How was the banquet?”
“Oh, it was nice. I met Hayden’s new girlfriend. She’s very nice, and the two of them seem well-suited to each other. The food was great, and Jacob even got an award for bravery.”
“Did you drink a lot?”
I frowned. “Drink? Not too much. I had to drive home, so I only had a small glass of champagne the whole night.”
She nodded. “Oh, okay, and was it a super late night?”
“Not really. We actually left earlier than most people. I think the whole thing just took a lot out of Jacob. He asked if I could take him home, so we didn’t stay for the whole thing. I didn’t mind, though. I mean, I didn’t really know anyone, and we’d already eaten. I was more than happy to leave.”
“So, let me get this straight,” Laurie said. “You didn’t drink, and you didn’t stay there late. Why on earth did you sleep over at Jacob’s then, when you could’ve easily come home?”
I looked down at my coffee cup, desperate for somewhere else to look. “Uh…well…don’t get mad…”
“Alice Bozeman. Look at me right now. Did you sleep with Jacob?”
I felt the heat rise to my face. Eventually, I looked up and nodded.
“You really did? You actually slept with him? Are you being serious, Alice? You had sex with Jacob Coleman? The man that bullied you the whole way through school? The man that made your life a living hell? You slept with him?”
“Look, Laurie, he’s not the same guy. I would never have slept with him if I thought that the old Jacob was still there. But he’s not. It’s like I’m dealing with someone completely different. School was a long time ago, and he’s obviously changed a lot. He’s not the same guy at all. I swear. I know this whole thing is weird. Trust me, I’m having a hell of a hard time figuring out what is going on myself, but it’s not the same guy. He’s been nothing but nice to me, and I’m sure I would’ve seen it by now.”
For a while we sat in silence, just drinking our coffee. Every time I looked up at Laurie, there seemed to be a different expression on her face. She was deep in thought, and I was too scared to say anything in case she got angry at me. I wasn’t sure what to think either. I moved between different emotions. One minute I was feeling embarrassed and ashamed that I had slept with someone who had hurt me. The next I would think about kissing him, and I would melt at the very thought of him. I’d never been more conflicted in my life.
“Alice, can I ask you a question?” she finally said.
“Of course.”
“Do you really like him? I mean, forget about the physical side of things. You obviously like him like that otherwise you wouldn’t have slept with him. As a person, as a friend, do you really like him? Or do you just feel sorry for him? Answer me honestly.”
I thought about the question. It was a question I was sure Jacob was asking too, and certainly one that had crossed my own mind. What did I really think of Jacob and would I be with someone just because I felt sorry for them? No, of course I wouldn’t.
“Of course I feel sorry for him,” I said. “I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. Any normal person would feel sorry for someone who has lost their sight. It’s a horrible thing to have happened to him. Especially someone so young. I feel terrible for him. Is it the reason why I slept with him? No, not at all. Not even in the slightest. We’ve been having such a nice time together. Do you know that when I cook every day he sits in the living room, and we listen to audiobooks? Do you know that we take the dog and we walk to the park or to Wagga’s, and we just talk and enjoy each other’s company? It’s not like he tried to get me in bed from the moment I started working there. I’m as surprised by this happening as you are. He’s a nice guy, Laurie. He’s not the same guy at all. I wasn’t planning for this to happen and I also have no idea what’s going to happen in the future. Who knows, the whole thing might just fizzle out. But for now, I’m just going to take it as it comes and try not to think about it too much because it’s damn confusing.”
“Well, thanks for your honesty. I’m glad to hear that he’s a nice guy. Obviously, I’m having a hard time believing it, but I know you believe it. Does he know who you are?” she asked.
I sighed. “No. He doesn’t know.”
“Are you ever going to tell him?”
“I don’t know, Laurie. I don’t think so. It’s not something I want him to know, or something that I even really want to think about.”
“So you’re basing this relationship on a lie?” she asked.
“It’s not a relationship.”
“Then what is it?”
“I don’t know,” I said with anger. I hated that she was being so hard on me. I was going through enough confusing emotions as it was. The last thing I needed was for her to go on at me about it too. “I don’t know, Laurie. I don’t know what is going on, and I don’t know what to feel. I know this is strange, and I know that I’m probably being stupid, but for once in my life, I’m following my feelings. It happened naturally. Nothing was forced. I just really enjoy being around him and I don’t know why. He’s not the same guy. I promise you. Now, are you going to stop talking to me over this or what? Because all I really want right now is for someone to be there for me, and I need my friend now more than ever.”
Laurie sighed. “Of course I’m not going to stop talking to you, Alice. You’re my best friend, and I’m just looking out for you. I’m always looking out for you. You should know that.”
“I know. Between you and my mom, I feel like I can’t do anything on my own.”
She frowned. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing. It means nothing. I’m so grateful to have you as a friend, and I know you’re just scared to see me go through everything all over again. I understand that. Why do you think I didn’t want to tell you? I tell you everything, but I knew you’d be angry about this. And I don’t blame you. Of course I don’t blame you. You’re just being a friend to me. My best friend. I love you for that. If it makes you feel any better, I’m constantly asking myself if I’m doing the right thing or not. Yeah, I’m petrified that I’ve made the wrong decision, but being with him was amazing, and that’s the honest truth.”
Laurie sighed and smiled sadly at me. “Well, you know that I will always support you, Alice. No matter what. Please don’t think that you can’t tell me things, because you can. I’ll always be honest with you, but I’ll also always support you.”
I nodded. “Yeah, I know. Okay, I promise, Laurie. I will tell you.”
“But do me one favor, please.”
“Of course. What?”
“Be careful,” Laurie said. “I know you don’t want to admit this, but bullies generally don’t change all that much. I know you think he has, and I certainly hope for your sake that he has, but I’m not sure of it. So be careful. Please. You’re the best person I know, and I don’t want you to lose yourself again because of him.”
The thought sent a chill up my spine, but I tried to ignore it. “I’ll be careful, Laurie. I promise you.”
Chapter 23
Jacob
The phone rang that morning, and I knew it was going to be Hayden. We hadn’t yet spoken after I’d left early from the banquet. I assumed he was waiting for me to call him and that he’d now given up waiting for me.
“Hi, Hayden,” I said.
He laughed. “How did you know it was me?”
“Because that’s how sad my life is. Nobody else calls me.”
“Oh no. Are you trying to make me feel sorry for you? Because it’s not going to work, you know.”
I chuckled. “Nah, I’m just kidding. I knew you’d call about the banquet. I’m sorry I haven’t called you, and I’m sorry I just left like that.”
“I had a feeling you would go. It’s okay. You alright?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just had no idea they were going to call me up. Did you know?”
“Of course not. I would’ve told you. And I certainly would’ve made them put you closer to the damn stage. Do they have no brains?”
I laughed. “Yeah, that’s what I said. So, how was it with the lovely Beatrice? We really liked her.”
“It went well, we saw each other the following day, and I’m taking her out again tonight.”
“Does this mean you’re officially dating?”
“I don’t know,” he said. “Aren’t I too old to ask someone to be my girlfriend?”
I chuckled. “You’re asking the wrong guy. But it sounds like she might already be that.”
“Yeah, I think so. Well, we’ll see after tonight. It’s going really well. I’ve never felt this way about someone before. Like, I actually see a future with us. It’s weird. I never thought I’d meet anyone, if I’m being honest.”
“Why the hell not? I hate to admit it, but you’re quite the catch.”
He laughed. “I wish I had recorded that so I could play those words back every time you say something horrible to me.”
“I would never say something horrible to you. In seriousness though, I’m happy for you. She sounds great. She gets your banter too, which is nice.”
“It is. So, how about you? It was nice of Alice to take you up on stage. She seems very comfortable with you. Nothing at all like she was that first time we met her.”
“Uh…yeah, it’s…it’s going well…”
“Why do I detect that you’ve got something to say to me? Is something going on? Wait a second…did something happen between the two of you?”
I chuckled. “Maybe.”
“Don’t you dare ‘maybe’ me. I want to know! Did you kiss?”
“Uh…yeah.”
“What? Are you serious?”
“Hey, why do you sound so surprised? Am I unkissable or something?”
“Not at all. It’s just I didn’t think anything was going on. Although, Beatrice kept telling me that the two of you looked like a couple. Are you?”
“I have no idea what we are. We…uh…we did more than kiss.”
“Whoa! Nice! How was it?”
“Well, you don’t need to see in order to have sex,” I said. “In fact, this might have been better. It was incredible. She’s amazing, Hayden. She stayed the night, and in the morning, we went out for breakfast. It was pretty incredible.”
“Have you done it again since then? Or have things gone a little awkward?”
“No, we haven’t done it again, but it hasn’t been awkward either, which is quite a surprise. It’s been really good, actually. We just get along so well. We haven’t discussed what happened though, so I’m not sure if she regretted it. I don’t think so, but I’m not sure if it’s going to happen again either.”
“Hmm… I have a feeling it will. Well, I never expected the conversation to take this turn. Is she there now?”
“No, she’ll be here later. I told her to skip the lunch today and to come over to cook for dinner. I asked if she would join me, and she said yes.”
“That sounds positive. So, are you going to ask her out too?”
“Ask her out? No! I…I think I just want to see what happens tonight. Like I said, I’m still not exactly sure how she feels about the whole thing.”
After the conversation with Hayden, I lay in bed with Tank and thought about Alice. I hadn’t been looking for a relationship, especially because I didn’t want to have to rely on anyone. I didn’t think it was fair for Alice to be with a blind man, but at the same time, I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to stay away from her. When I’d asked her to stay for dinner, I was sure she was going to say no, but she’d said yes. That was a good sign, wasn’t it? Hopefully, by the end of the night, I would know a bit more about where we stood.
The day went by relatively quickly. I went for a long walk with Tank and listened to an audiobook in bed. My life had become a lot simpler now. So many things that I’d been interested in before were now not important to me. There were plenty of things that I now could not do, but also many things that I didn’t want to do. I also didn’t feel the need to constantly please people. My life now revolved around myself, Tank, Hayden, and Alice. It was a small and rather strange circle of people, especially since I barely knew Alice. But it felt so much more real than anything I’d ever had before. Part of me relished my new life, and part of me hated it. I had a feeling this sort of conflict would always be there with me. I was just going to have to get used to the confusion, and to hope that the good would eventually outweigh the bad. I wanted desperately to be able to see again, but I had to accept that it would never happen. Instead, I had to concentrate on what was good in my life. I heard the door open, and I smiled. Alice was one of those things.
“Hi,” Alice said as I walked into the room.
“Hi,” I said back.
“I’m looking forward to dinner... but… I cheated.”
“Don’t tell me you got takeout tonight?” I teased.
“Nope! I didn’t. But I did make the dinner earlier today. I had some spare time, and I wanted to make you a nice curry. Curry always tastes better when you make it early and let it sit for a bit. So, I made it at home and brought it here.”
I smiled. “That’s fine by me. I love curry.”
“Good. It’s an old recipe from my mother. She used to make this when I was younger, and I’ve just adapted it a bit. Uh…would you like some wine? I brought a bottle with me, too.”
“Wine sounds amazing. Yes, please.”
I sat in the living room and then smiled as Alice joined me with a glass of wine. She placed it in my hand, and I took a sip.
“Oh wow, this stuff is good.”
“I figured since you were paying I might as well get the good stuff,” she said and chuckled.
I laughed. “Good thinking. So, did you have a good day?”
“I did, actually. Any day that involves cooking is good to me.”
“You don’t get sick of it?” I asked. I couldn’t imagine anything worse than standing in a kitchen all day, but I wasn’t a very good cook, so that was probably why. Perhaps if I knew what I was doing, I’d actually enjoy it.
“I don’t get sick of it at all. Maybe if I was making the same thing day in and day out, but I’m not. I love playing around at home too and trying to perfect my meals.”
“Your friends must love you,” I said. “Do they get your leftovers?”
“Oh yeah. All the time.”
“Well, I’m lucky too. Have you traveled much? To see what the food is like in other places?”
She sighed. “I wish. That’s definitely a dream of mine. Unfortunately, I haven’t. One day, hopefully. How about you? Have you traveled much?”
“Yeah, I have, actually. I’m a fan of Paris. I fell in love with the place. There was something about the atmosphere that just got to me. It made me feel alive.”
“Would you go back?” she asked. “Like, would you consider actually living there?”
I shook my head. “No, I don’t think so. It wouldn’t be the same now.” I realized that the conversation was headed towards a depressing end, so I quickly changed the subject. “But who knows. Anyway, I’m happy here. I even have my own chef! What more can I ask for?”
She chuckled. “I like being a personal chef.”
“Do you? Are you enjoying the work? You can be honest if you’re not, Alice.”
“I’m being honest. I love it. Also, it has its perks. I…I happen to be wearing a very special chef’s outfit today.”
“You are? What do you mean? An apron?”
“Uh, not quite. Let me show you,” she said. Soon she was next to me. She reached out to get my glass of wine and put it down. Then she took my hand and placed it on her body. “Feel.”
I felt up and down her body, realizing
that I was getting more and more aroused as I did so. I wasn’t sure if she could tell, but I very much doubted I was hiding it well. She seemed to be wearing a button-up shirt, and little shorts. The material was soft, but I couldn’t figure it out. Then I laughed.
“Are you wearing pajamas?”
She giggled. “I sure am.”
I beamed. “That’s amazing! And, did the nosy neighbors see you?”
“Who knows? I don’t care.”
“That’s the way! Are they the egg and bacon ones?” I asked. My one hand was on her leg, moving up and down. I heard a little groan escape her.
“Nope, these have little boxes of popcorn on them.”
I chuckled. “That sounds adorable. You’re adorable…”
Chapter 24
Alice
I knew coming in today that I would end up having sex with Jacob. I knew that by making him feel my pajamas, I was in essence just asking him to feel my body. I wanted him to want me, and I wanted to be with him again. We’d been very polite all week with one another, but we’d somehow managed to avoid touching each other. I wasn’t sure if he was waiting for me to make the first move, but when he asked me to stay for dinner, I had no doubt in my mind that I was going to.
His hand moved up and down my leg now. I’d specially chosen the pajamas with the small shorts rather than the long ones because I wanted him to feel me. I wanted his skin on mine. I moved to the floor and pulled down his jeans. I was happy to see how aroused he was by me, and as I put his already stiff dick in my mouth, I heard him groan out loud. I liked that I could do this to him, and I hoped that doing this would help him to forget that he was blind. I wanted him to feel good about himself again. His hands were on my head, caressing my hair as I sucked him. With each suck, I felt him getting harder, and I was careful not to take it too far. I wanted him to be excited, but I didn’t want him to come. I didn’t want it to be over too quickly. I could feel that he was close, so I pulled away, giving the tip of his cock one last lick as he groaned loudly. I kissed him on the mouth and told him to wait where he was. He didn’t say a word. He just lay there with his eyes closed, waiting for me, his cock standing straight up at attention. I ran over to his room and found a condom, and then hurried back to him. I gave him one more lick and then slid the condom on him.