Oh, shit. Maybe she really did know him.
She felt her eyes grow wide. No way in hell was she going to keep walking forward. No way. She didn’t need Katie to know what slutty thing she’d done. She decided she’d head to her bedroom and maybe come out later. If nothing else, she needed a safe place to sit and think quietly until she could figure out how to deal with this mess. Fortunately, he hadn’t spotted her, so she knew she had a chance of making a clean getaway.
She turned, noticing how shallow her breathing had grown, and began walking away. Then she heard Katie. “Heather. Hey, Heather. Come here. Don’t you want to see Kiefer?”
Heather stopped. Kiefer had been in that group of people? And how could she talk with him without seeing the other guy?
Well…all she could do was hope the guy she’d screwed would have enough class to keep his lips sealed. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath through her nose. Then she turned, a sweet smile plastered on her lips, and began walking in the direction of Katie’s voice.
Katie stood right next to the guy…and Heather felt her face drop. No way.
Chapter Four
KIEFER HAD A sensation like he was falling over backwards but he was still standing up straight. It was an odd feeling, one he hadn’t felt in a long time, since before he’d hooked up with Johnny and crew.
But what was happening right this moment felt so surreal.
The gorgeous chick he’d fucked at the bar—that was Heather?
“You guys remember each other, don’t you?” Katie’s voice cut through the air like a knife through soft cheese—not as smooth as Kiefer would have expected, but it was a jolt he needed to pull him out of his daze. “You’ve kept in touch with each other, right?”
Heather managed a stiff nod, but Kiefer was still blown away. This was not the woman he remembered from the backstage after party a couple years ago.
The doorbell rang above all the chatter and Katie said, “Oh, pizza!” She smiled and left them standing alone.
Together.
It shouldn’t have felt awkward—after all, Heather had to be his best friend online—but damned if it wasn’t one of the weirdest feelings ever. He remembered thinking she was cute and sweet and even pretty—but not hot, not like he’d thought of her tonight. Goddammit. No way would he have slept with her, though, if he’d known it was her. No way. Maybe at the end of the week, but no cheap fling.
“So…Heather? You look so…different.”
“So do you.”
He paused. It had been a couple of years…and he had to try to remember what he looked like back then when they first met. He’d had shorter hair, fewer tattoos. He hadn’t been as fit as he was now. His hair had also been lighter then, thanks to its natural color and the sun’s rays, but he’d been having it dyed the last year, and more recently he’d had a couple of blonde streaks added to the mix. He shrugged. “Yeah, I guess so, but you…”
She furrowed her brow. He was getting weird vibes from her. Thing was, they were friends and had been for a couple of years now. He didn’t give a fuck that they were cyber friends. She’d been the best friend he’d had since childhood. She had no idea what she’d done for him over the past year or two. She had to be a little freaked out that they’d had casual sex without realizing who the other was, and that was understandable, but he hoped she’d let that go. He knew why he hadn’t recognized her. Not only was her hair longer and thicker than when he’d seen her last, but she’d lost weight. A lot of it. And her makeup was a lot heavier than when he’d met her in person the first time. He was sure of it. But why hadn’t she recognized him? Ever since he’d started singing for Shock Treatment, his face was all over the place, so much that he was sick and fucking tired of looking at himself.
Did she maybe have that weird face blindness condition?
He didn’t have a chance to ask her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well—”
Katie grabbed Heather’s arm, dragging her toward the kitchen. “I need your help getting drinks and stuff. You guys can catch up later. Promise.”
Heather was giving him a strange look, but he had to just wonder. Katie kept Heather busy, and soon everyone had a paper plate, pizza, and a cup of soda on ice. There was metal playing in the background, and Kiefer still hadn’t quite figured out where the speakers were. All he knew was that Johnny had bought this place about a year ago and had been having it fixed up. He’d kept promising to have his bandmates up for a week once it was ready to go, and he’d even told them that he thought he’d be moving back to Winchester permanently. It really didn’t matter, he’d told the guys; as long as they got together to record, shoot videos, and tour, it was no big deal where any of them lived. Kiefer had agreed, but he wasn’t sure where in the world he wanted to lay down permanent roots. Colorado was looking kind of nice, but he’d have to wait and see.
It was loud and noisy and fun while everyone ate. Sage told stories about their last tour, embellishing where necessary, making them as funny as possible. It probably took longer to eat than it usually would, thanks to Sage, but it was a good time.
It didn’t escape Kiefer’s notice that Heather had gone out of her way to sit by Katie…and as far away from him as possible.
He was sitting across from her on one of the large couches, Riley and Erin on one side of him, Mickey on the other. There were chairs scattered around too so that everyone was comfortable but the space still seemed intimate.
What gave him hope was that he caught Heather once or twice stealing a glance at him, but as soon as he’d meet her eyes, she’d avert hers. He’d have to tell her right off the bat that he didn’t think any less of her after their earlier encounter; in fact, it made him feel even stronger about her. He wasn’t going to tell her that—it was way too soon to go there—but she needed to know that he wasn’t going to let it interfere with their friendship. Then maybe she’d stop acting like she was freaked out.
But after everyone had gathered up their plates and thrown them away in the kitchen, Kiefer saw Heather start to walk away. Katie pulled her friend back, though, and he avoided eye contact, instead walking deeper into the kitchen under the guise of grabbing another Coke. He heard Katie say, “I don’t think so. I know you’re tired, but just one game of Charades. For me. Please? Tomorrow I’ll give you the grand tour and then let you do whatever you want. Okay? Please? Pretty please?”
He stole a glance as he walked back into the living room and then he heard Heather give in. He felt like fist pumping but managed to keep his cool as he continued his casual pace into the living room where everyone was congregated. He’d have a better chance to talk to her if she stuck around, but he got the idea she wanted to run and hide. If he could just pull her aside and let her know everything was cool, he knew they’d both be able to enjoy the rest of their time together.
Hell, they might even hook up again, only this time they would know who each other was.
Shit. He couldn’t think about it—not out here and not now. He still had a bit of a buzz going from all the drinks he’d pounded at the bar, and he didn’t need to lose control of his dick. He needed it to stay calm—and down.
As he continued making his way back toward the couch where he’d been sitting, he heard Heather telling Katie, “I have some papers to grade…so one game.”
“That’s all I ask.”
When they rejoined the group, Katie managed to get everyone’s attention and asked if they all knew the rules to charades. A lot of people said they did but then when pressed for details, most of them admitted that they couldn’t remember the nitty gritty, so Katie gave them a quick rundown. Then Riley said, “Girls against guys.”
Erin said, “That’s not exactly fair, Riley. There’s four of us and…”—she darted her eyes around the room—“six of you.”
“Well, you’re always telling me how women are so much smarter than men.” Erin raised her eyebrows but didn’t say a word. Riley started laughing and shrugged. “
Fine. However you want to do it.”
Katie said, “No, we can do that. We are smart enough.”
Johnny leaned back against the couch. The look on his face indicated he was staying out of it.
That was what Kiefer wanted. None of them were serious about the competition. The banter amongst them was light and playful, and he had no doubt that each one of these couples would head to their rooms tonight and engage in killer sex. There was an aching loneliness inside him, one he’d never told any of his bandmates about, one he didn’t talk about and tried to deny, but it was there and it was heavy. And, as much as he enjoyed spending time with his friends, moments like these merely punctuated the yearning.
The girl named Kory asked, “Why don’t we have one guy on our side? That will make it even.”
Sage sat up on the edge of the couch. “What? You want the biggest pussy?”
Katie frowned. “No. She just wants it even. Think of it instead as your harem.”
Sage grinned at that and nodded. “I’m cool with that.”
Kory spoke again. “So how do we pick the guy?”
“I thought it was decided. Guy with the biggest balls is man enough to control all you women.” Sage laughed and then ducked as if one of the women were going to roundhouse him with a balled-up fist.
Instead, Johnny said, “So Riley then.”
Everyone laughed, including Sage, and then Katie took off the lid of the Monopoly box still on the coffee table and lifted the game board to fetch out one of the dice. “We’ll roll for it.” Smiling, she pointed to each one of the men, starting with the guy right behind her sitting on the couch. “One,” she said, indicating Johnny, and she continued until she ended with Kiefer, making him number six. “Got it?” she asked. She looked at Kory. “Why don’t you roll? And whatever number you get? That’s the guy on our side.”
Kory looked at Stone. “Come on, three!” Stone looked like he could care less where he sat, but he smiled at his girlfriend just the same. But when the die stopped rolling, there were four black dots facing up.
Katie said, “It’s Sage anyway.”
He winced. “Oh, hell. After sayin’ all that shit, you’re gonna devour me.”
Erin raised her eyebrows. “We’ll play nice.” Her grin looked positively evil.
“Uh, yeah. Why do I already feel a knife in my spine?”
Katie laughed. “It’s not like we’re going to dress you up like big sisters do to their little brothers.”
“Now there’s an idea.” Erin giggled and then kissed Riley. “So do we stay where we are or do we break up into teams?”
Kiefer really didn’t care. He felt kind of like an outsider during this game…just like he usually did with everything else. Yeah, he got a shitload of attention as the lead singer of Shock Treatment, but it wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. As the frontman of the band, he was an object—an object of adoration, of lust, of idolatry, but he was often not treated like a human being at all. More often than not, he felt empty and alone…even when surrounded by people.
Just like he did now.
But he put on a happy face. He was good at that. Always had been. They wound up having fun, though, and even though he didn’t feel like he connected with anyone, at least he was able to relax.
He really wanted to get Heather alone, though. She had no idea what she’d done for him over the past two years. He’d thought she knew, but her reaction to him right now told him she had no clue. She couldn’t find a way to look past their earlier indiscretion enough to remember that they were, in all essence, best friends.
Or maybe she didn’t feel the same way he did.
He tried to get into the game. Some of the silly things his team members did to communicate their phrase to the rest of the team actually made him laugh once or twice, but he wasn’t really enjoying himself. It didn’t help that all the alcohol had worn off and he was stone cold sober.
But he wore the entertainer’s mask that he often did and no one knew any better. The women (with their token guy Sage) won the game and Katie said, “Okay, potty break and then let’s do round two. We can switch up teams if we want.”
A few people meandered toward the kitchen area and a couple of others toward the hallway where the bathrooms were. Mickey stepped outside, and Kiefer knew that was for a smoke. He caught Heather walking to where Katie stood—not far from him—and heard her say she was going to bow out for the evening. “I’m tired and I really need to check in with my students. Do you mind if I tap into your Wi-fi?”
Kiefer couldn’t hear Katie’s response, but the two women started walking toward the kitchen. He sighed. Once an outsider, always an outsider.
Yeah, he was feeling sorry for himself as usual, but his friends expected him to be Mr. Sociable, so he decided to go outside to hang with Mickey for a minute and grab a breath of fresh air. Out of all his bandmates, Mickey seemed to have the firmest grasp on the notion that Kiefer wasn’t the laidback party animal everyone else thought he was. He never talked about it or even asked Kiefer to clarify, but he somehow knew that Kiefer wore a heavy mask most of the time…and so he often went easy on his friend while everyone else continued the masquerade.
Kiefer realized he was as much to blame as anyone else. He’d never said a word about his state of mind to his bandmates and, with their first album and long tour, he’d been in such a daze and been so appreciative that Johnny had given him a shot that he had no idea that shit still lingered deep inside. That was how Heather had managed to be his salvation. He knew from their short exchange in Katie’s great room earlier that Heather had no fucking idea.
And that kinda broke his heart. Made it worse.
He was hoping to use this trip as a chance to get Johnny alone for a few minutes and see how the man would feel about Kiefer penning the lyrics on this next album, even if just for a song or two. He’d been singing Johnny’s words for three years now. He had nothing but respect for the man, but he felt like now he needed to not only contribute but sing his own heart and soul. He wasn’t sure how Johnny would feel about it, and that was why he wanted to talk to the boss alone. That way, if Johnny hated the idea or they hashed it out and he really thought it sucked balls, no one else would have to know.
Something inside him told him it would be a relief to sing about the pain and emptiness, to let it out, because even though Heather had been a godsend, even she didn’t know the depths.
Ah. The chill air felt good going down his lungs…until he stepped into the cloud of cigarette smoke drifting sideways from Mickey. Kiefer repositioned himself away from the breeze’s path and stood next to Mickey.
“This place is pretty rad. Look up there, man.” Kiefer did as his friend instructed, looking up in the black sky. “Look at all those damn stars. I haven’t seen the sky look like that since camping with my dad as a kid. I think Johnny’s got the right idea.”
“Yeah, he just might.” Kiefer was definitely impressed with the man’s taste, and he hoped to be that secure someday as well. He’d already earned more over the past three years than he’d ever dreamed possible, but he knew Johnny had residuals rolling in from three other bands he’d been a part of, so the man was set for life, no doubt. Kiefer had a long way to go, but he wasn’t complaining. Johnny had done more for him than probably anyone else in his whole life…except for maybe his first grade teacher. That woman had talked to his mom, tried to get her to take better care of her son. She couldn’t, though, so Kiefer wound up with his grandfather off and on until the old man passed away. But he wouldn’t have had that handful of good years if not for that elementary school teacher.
Then there was Heather. She was a calm in the storm of his mind.
And that realization hit home as he stood there making small talk with his bandmate. “Hey, I’m gonna head inside.”
“Later.”
Kiefer walked back in the house which suddenly seemed too bright. Even though there had been a light shining on him and Mickey outside, it was nothin
g compared to the lumens brightening the inside of the house. He blinked twice, trying to adjust his eyes, and then looked around. Just like at a party, there were clumps of people here and there—Riley and his girlfriend were snuggled on one of the big sofas, looking like they were in their own little world; Stone, his girlfriend, Johnny, and Sage stood next to the fireplace, and Kiefer could tell Johnny was telling a story by how animated he was and the way he was using his arms. Next to the kitchen, Katie and Heather stood, but Heather hugged her friend and then made her way toward the big hallway and Katie walked back toward the group where her man stood.
Kiefer knew Heather had called it a night and, even though it might seem a little stalkerish, he was going to track her down and talk to her. Alone. Now.
Mickey walked in the door behind him, so Kiefer turned and said, “Man, I think I’m gonna call it a night.”
“It’s not that late, man.”
“I know, but I think I’m Charaded out.”
“All right.” As Kiefer began walking away, he heard Mickey mutter their insult of choice. “Pussy.” Kiefer didn’t even turn around, instead just holding up the middle finger of his right hand as he walked farther away from his friend. He heard Mickey laugh behind him.
Goddamn. That hallway. He rounded the corner. He had no fucking clue which room would be Heather’s and the hallway was so well lit, he wouldn’t be able to see light from under the door. But then he heard music—a little Slash with Myles Kennedy at the helm—and he knew that had to be coming from Heather’s room.
He stood frozen in place before willing his feet toward her door and then paused, his fist in the air ready to rap on the wooden barrier keeping them apart.
He clenched his jaw and took a deep breath, lowering his fist. He started to walk away when the thought occurred to him that he had nothing, absolutely nothing, to lose…so he turned around and knocked on her door rapidly.
There would be no backing out now.
Chapter Five
Seal All Exits (Tangled Web #3) Page 4