No, he wouldn’t say she was a substitute for her sister in his mind. She was something so much more. But could he love her? Oh, he was attracted to her. She was beautiful and he wanted to see that gorgeous hair loose and flowing around her. He wanted to run his fingers through it and pull her into his arms and taste her and hold her. But did he love her? He didn’t know. Five years ago he’d locked up his heart and promised to never use it again and until this day, he’d never even wanted to. Oh, he wasn’t pure; he’d been to Big Bertha’s more than a few times back in Redemption. Not that he made a big deal about it but he’d had his share of women. It was the one point of contention he and Nathan had always had. But his heart was never involved in any of those transactions.
He couldn’t get the thought of Hannah’s tears out of his mind. He didn’t know if love was possible for him, but for this amazing woman he’d try and find a way to unlock his heart. Until then, maybe it was best if that stupid rooster stayed perched on the foot of the bed to keep him honest.
When she opened the door and returned, he could see and hear the wind howling down the valley. Snowdrifts were blowing around. Already it felt colder than it had when she had gone out to check on the animals. She carried in a bucket of milk and sat it on the dry sink to settle before she strained it.
“Sounds and feels like the temperature is going to drop, thanks to the wind blowing through. Maybe you should think about bundling under the covers with me tonight so you don’t freeze on the floor.”
Hannah’s head snapped around to him. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. First, the chance of accidentally hurting you is too great; and secondly, I will be perfectly fine in my nest of furs and quilts. I have an abundance of them as payment for my services to the trappers and miners wives.”
“Well, what about me? I don’t think it would be good for me to get cold in my weakened condition.”
“I can spare a few furs for you, too, and if you want something warm and soft to cuddle and share heat with, then snuggle up with Bob. She picked up the rooster and sat him on Henry’s chest. “He’s warm and with all those feathers it will be like having a down comforter next to you.”
The blasted poultry moved off his chest and nested down against his left side, clucking softly and preening just like he understood what Hannah had said. Henry wanted to toss the fowl aside but he wasn’t about to give Hannah the satisfaction of knowing she’d gotten the better of him. “Yes, that will do quite well. Bob snores less than you do anyway.”
He swallowed his laughter as Hannah rounded on him. “I will have you know, Henry Wheeler, that I do not snore!”
“How do you know you don’t since you’re asleep when it happens?”
Her mouth opened and shut several times before she turned around and pulled the glass bottle and spoon off the shelf and quickly stirred a dose of the medicine into a glass of water. “Take your medicine before I decide not to give you any and let you suffer for that remark.”
He grinned and struggled to sit enough to drink down the potion she’d made. Then he lifted a hand and stroked her check. “I’m teasing, Hannah, and I want you to know I’d never see you as a substitute for Esther; she was tin plating next to the silver you are.”
He laid back and let the warmth of the opium in the medicine take him deep into healing sleep. Never seeing Hannah’s hand come up and rest where he’d stroked her face.
Six
Henry looked around and slowly sat up. He was a bit stronger today but the pain was also a bit worse. Hannah was nowhere to be seen and neither was that pesky rooster, which meant she’d probably gone out to the barn again. He wondered how it was going to work once they were married. Yes, she lived in this little line shack halfway between Topaz and Creede, but his office was in Topaz and he had a small apartment that was honestly a bit bigger than her place here. His barn was also larger because Nathan had paid to have it built to hold a string of horses in case he needed to deputize a posse or had need of a bigger string of mounts for himself. So on one hand it would make sense for them to live in Topaz. But if Hannah was going to continue to work for Doctor Thomas, that would be a long ride for her and he wasn’t sure he wanted her making it every day.
‘Course they weren’t married yet and while he was fairly positive that they would end up married at the end of this storm, there really wasn’t a guarantee that would happen. He wouldn’t let her reputation be destroyed or leave her at the mercy of Archie or the more unscrupulous men in and around the area. However, he knew she didn’t want to marry him. Her words last night kept coming to his mind. He couldn’t understand what had made her tell him she wouldn’t be a substitute for her sister. Even if Esther were alive and able to marry him there was no possible scenario he could think of that would have him standing at the altar with her. His love for her had quickly faded after her declaration that he was just a plaything while she’d waited for what she really wanted. He couldn’t see Hannah ever toying with someone’s affection like that. Everything about Hannah appealed to him. Her beauty, she’d been a pretty girl but she was a beautiful woman. Every curve she had called to him and the thought of her on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor yesterday still left him besotted. But it was more than her looks. After he realized who she was, he’d watched her without being obvious about it. He’d seen how she treated everyone with kindness and respect. The soiled doves she treated for womanly issues, the wives of both the citizens of Creede and the miners’ families as well. Everyone, even the smelliest and meanest of the miners themselves she treated with kindness and compassion. The only person he’d ever seen her treat badly was Archie Grady, and seeing as how everyone knew he was behind the snatching of the women, he didn’t blame her.
But how could he go about convincing her of that? While he’d never planned to marry and start a family after leaving New York, the thought wasn’t unpleasant to him anymore. As a matter of fact, if the woman he married was Hannah, the thought was more than pleasant; it was almost desirable. Was it love? Probably not, he didn’t think he had enough of a heart left to ever love again. But it was something. Like an itch one needed to scratch but couldn’t quite reach.
The door opened and in came Hannah, a bucket of milk in each hand. “Good morning, Henry. How are you feeling this morning? In pain?”
“Some, but mostly thoughtful. Something you said last night won’t leave me alone.”
She sat the buckets on the counter by the dry sink. “Oh?”
Henry struggled to his feet and walked over to where she stood. “You told me you wouldn’t be a substitute for your sister.” He shook his head. “I have never even thought of you as a replacement for Esther.”
She looked down; he reached out and lifted her head by the chin so that she was looking into his eyes. “Understand this, Hannah Coppersmith. Whatever love you think I harbor for Esther died five years ago when she told me how I was just an amusement for her while she waited on Rayner. Yes, I left New York so that I wouldn’t have to see them. More so that I wouldn’t harbor anger and end up doing something I’d regret out of unrequited love. I may not love you, Hannah, but I do know that you are a woman worth having.
“You’re kind and compassionate, not to mention beautiful and very desirable. I think maybe it’s a good thing Bob is around to protect you.”
At his name the feathered beast clucked and then crowed as if to remind Henry he was indeed there to protect Hannah. She blushed and then shook her head. “Those feelings of desire, Henry, they aren’t real. It’s the medicine, not how you really feel.”
He frowned “What are you talking about?”
She held up the clear glass bottle half-full of a brownish colored liquid. “This is laudanum; it’s a mixture of opium and alcohol. It tends to make one a bit, shall we say amorous as well as lower their inhibitions and take away their pain. It’s why it’s so popular around the saloon girls. They take it and care a little less about what their jobs are. Unfortunately, it takes more to do the sam
e thing the longer they take it until they can’t live without it.”
Henry looked from the bottle to her. “You think the way I feel about you comes out of that little bottle? You’re saying I find you attractive and desirable because you’ve been giving me that medicine?”
She nodded as a tear rolled down her face. “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying.”
He looked at her for a minute before he looked at Bob. “I’m going to kiss her now, Bob, to prove a point. Please don’t attack me.”
The rooster let out a loud “Brawlk” and turned his back on them as if giving his permission. Henry brought his hands up and placed them on either side of her face. He leaned down and brought his lips to hers, gently at first, and then as the spark of his desire caught flame, with a bit more passion. When he heard the rooster starting to move around he gentled the kiss and ended it. “Does that seem to you to be coming from some medicine I’ve taken? How long do those effects last anyway? I know the pain control has worn out already; does the amorous desire last longer than the pain numbing?”
She looked into his eyes “No, it all wears off in about four to six hours.”
He stroked her cheek with the back of his right hand. “How long would you say it’s been since I had any of this magic medicine, then?”
“About eight hours.”
“Then I think it’s safe to say, Hannah Coppersmith, that my affection and desire for you are my own and not something out of that bottle.”
She blushed and pulled away from his hand. “Do you need a dose for the pain?”
Henry looked at her rosy cheeks and thought about it. He wanted to keep flirting and sparking as much as her feathered protector would allow, but he wanted her to be positive that the desire was his, not the medicine. “Do you have something else I can take for the pain?”
She thought for a minute. “I could make you some willow bark tea. It’s not as strong but it should help some with the pain.”
“Then how about I have that till after dinner unless the pain gets worse. I also would like to be able to go to the necessary instead of using that chamber pot, and I think a lighter pain medicine would help with that.”
Hannah nodded and then went and scooped some snow into a kettle and placed it on the stove. “I’ll make you the tea and some breakfast. After that, I’ll go clear a better path to the privy. Until then you use the chamber pot and rest. You’re stronger than yesterday but you are still weaker than you were before you got shot.”
She walked close; he reached out and pulled her into his arms and kissed her again. He was getting good and lost in her scent and the feel of her in his arms when there came a series of rooster squawks and a sharp pain in his big toe where the evil rooster had pecked him. “Wow, Bob, you just wait till I’m my healed self. I’ll pluck ya alive for that.”
The bird puffed himself up to his larger than average size, looked Henry in the eye from a sideways cocked head, and then let him know exactly what he thought of Henry’s threat with a furious flapping of wings and a hearty “COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO.”
Hannah started giggling as she spun away and started on a breakfast of pancakes and home fries with several strips of bacon thrown in for extra energy. Henry hobbled back to the bed and put on his mended denim shirt before settling into the chair that still sat beside Hannah’s bed he’d slept in for the last two days. “Tonight, Hannah, you take the bed. I’ll bed down in the nest on the floor.”
She opened her mouth like she was going to complain. “I’ll nap in the bed this afternoon, but I won’t keep your bed from you. Either we find a way to share it so you’re comfortable, or I’ll sleep on the floor.”
Hannah gave a quick nod and went back to cooking. Henry settled and couldn’t keep his eyes off of her. She even looked lovely being domestic. Yep, he was taking her straight to the preacher as soon as they could get down the trail. No two ways about it.
Hannah went back to cooking as if she hadn’t heard the last few sentences that Henry had said. Her lips still tingled with the two soul searing kisses he’d given her. Her first two from someone that wasn’t related to her. Oh, guys had tried but she’d never allowed it before. But Henry’s kisses had been perfect. Her heart had started hammering when he told Bob he was going to kiss her and when he did she thought she’d die from the sheer wonderful feelings of his warm firm lips against hers. When he’d pressed in letting her feel the passion he was keeping tight control over, she thought she’d combust from the heat and tingle of it. The second unexpected one had literally turned her legs to water and if he hadn’t been holding her she’d have melted into a puddle of melted nurse right at his feet.
But it was the words as he’d sat beside the bed that wouldn’t let her go. He’d made it plain they’d share the bed tonight or he’d sleep on the floor. She couldn’t let him take the floor; it would be detrimental to his recovery and healing. But the thought of lying next to him… well, if she was honest, it thrilled her in a way that she knew a good and proper Christian girl shouldn’t be thrilled. But the part of her that knew they would end up married at the end of their exile really wanted to know what it would feel like to lay next to him with his strong arms holding her. Was it wrong? She knew society and her mother would say yes but if they were just sleeping, sharing heat, was it? It wasn’t like he wasn’t going to be forced to marry her anyway. What was a couple of nights being held and holding the man she wanted more than any other? Would Bob allow it? If he did, should she? She turned her mind back to the task at hand as the kettle began to whistle. She quickly pulled it off the stove and poured the water into the cup with the willow bark in it. She’d steep it while she finished the breakfast and then strain it and give it to Henry. It wouldn’t take away the pain like the laudanum would, but since he insisted he wanted to spend time with her without the drug’s amorous effects, she would give him the tea. If she saw the pain was too much, he’d take the drug or she’d sic that rooster on him till he gave in. But if drinking the tea would let him kiss her again like the last kiss, she’d let him slide for now.
She set the table and watched as he drank down the tea and refilled his cup with coffee, knowing he’d want it with breakfast. As they started to eat, Henry took the conversation in a new direction. “So I’m not going to pretend I don’t know what will happen when we can get out of here, Hannah. We both know we’ll marry; sometime this week when I’m sure you know I am not marrying you as a replacement for Esther, I’ll ask you properly to be my wife. However, we do need to talk a little about where we’ll live and stuff.”
Hannah looked at him. “What do you mean?”
“I mean I know you will want to keep working as a nurse and midwife and, honestly, since I’m one of the people who told you to not give up on that dream, I want you to keep working. I also know I’m the U.S. Marshal in these parts. You work with Doctor Thomas on the other side of Creede and my office is in Topaz. You have this place and I have a place over the Marshal’s office and jail in Topaz. We need to figure out where to live and how to make it work for whichever one of us moves.”
Hannah stopped. It wasn’t the logistics of it all that shocked her but the fact that obviously Henry had been thinking about them. Less than an hour earlier, she’d accused him of being interested in her because of his pain medication, while he was thinking about how to combine their two lives together as husband and wife. That, more than the kisses, more than the promise that he didn’t care for her sister anymore, his careful thought of how to mesh their individual lives and passions together convinced her he really didn’t mind that they were going to be joined in marriage.
“What answers have you come up with?”
He sighed. “I haven’t. If we live here, I’ll have days that I’ll have no choice but to leave you alone when I have prisoners or if my duties require I stay in Topaz. The fact that they don’t have another lawman right now is also a concern for me. They aren’t as big or as lawless as Creede but it wouldn’t take much for the small
saloon to become a powder keg.
“I also don’t like the idea of moving you to Topaz. While my space is bigger and has a private bedroom, it means you’ll have to travel twice as far to help out at the clinic and I don’t like that idea, either.”
“Yes, I can see your concerns. However, I don’t really have to go to the doctor’s clinic every day. A lot of times I could just go see a woman at her place. Plus, if I remember, there isn’t a doctor in Topaz, either, is there?”
Henry shook his head. “No, closest thing is the barber and he’s more of a leecher and stitcher than anything like a doctor.”
“Topaz has a telegraph office, right?”
“I don’t know but I have a set up in the Marshal’s office for official business.”
“So if someone really needed me they could send a wire, correct?”
“I’m sure we could come up with an arrangement with Mr. Jameson. What are you thinking?”
“If you have more room and there is a need for medical services, maybe I could move to Topaz and only have to come to Creede or Bachelor for a delivery or to deal with the girls at the saloons once in a while.”
Hannah watched as Henry’s fork stopped halfway to his mouth. “What do you mean, the girls at the saloons?”
“That’s part of what I do for Doctor Thomas. I deal with the doves when they need doctoring of the womanly kind.”
Hannah the Healer (Cowboys and Angels Book 7) Page 4