by Jen Naumann
Since their deaths, I have mostly kept to myself, making only a handful of new friends. Living in an orphanage is the nightmare I had expected. I have very little to look forward to with each day that passes, inching me closer to my DOD. My hatred for Society has grown sevenfold. The only thing keeping me from running is my mother’s final wish.
* * *
I stand in line for the tasteless breakfast I have learned to expertly choke down over the years when Zeke—one of my only friends in the orphanage—charges straight for me. His hair seems exceptionally greasy this morning. I sometimes wonder if he showers every day, or if there is some kind of imbalance that makes it that way. I think his appearance disgusts even some of the other Shymers.
Once in front of me, he grabs my elbow and whispers, “Did you hear there was a new girl brought here in the middle of the night?”
I shake my head and shrug. “So what?” Newbies at the orphanage is certainly nothing new. It happens on almost a daily basis. Sometimes they are like me, with nowhere else to go after their parents die. Other times, parents are doing well in the Future territory and have to leave their Shymer children behind. There have only been a few instances when a Future child was brought here, and it was always just a temporary arrangement until they were adopted by a wealthy family.
“She’s from theFree Lands,” Zeke whispers excitedly.
A sudden curiosity and blinding jealousy fill me. How could a girl survive in the Free Lands? Was she alone? Was she caught trying to get there? The mixture of feelings is so overwhelming that I have to remind myself to breathe. I search the cafeteria, but don’t see anyone unfamiliar.
“Well, where is she?” I ask, turning back to him.
“She was taken early to register for school. Her mother was placed in suspension last night.” Zeke’s excitement comes as no surprise. He is all for the ways of Society. I only became his friend when I realized no one else would talk to him. I have never told him of my hatred for Society, or my secret wish to join the Rebels. Just having rebellious thoughts could land me into suspension, and I wouldn’t put it past Zeke to report me.
I pick through my breakfast while Zeke talks excitedly about this new girl. His words become a blur when my own thoughts consume me. How long had this girl been living in the Free Lands? Zeke said her mother was placed in suspension, but what about her father? Does she know everything about the ways of Society? She must be a Shymer. Why else would she have been in the Free Lands?
During the rest of the morning I am still lost in my thoughts while keeping an eye out at school for anyone who looks out of place. I think between classes I catch a glimpse of a girl I haven’t seen before, but her hair is blond and held back behind her head in the style a Future would wear.
At lunchtime I join the usual group of Shymers I have known most of my life. We have gone to school together since we were quite little, but I can’t really say that any of them are my actual friends. They continue inviting me to hang with their group, even though they are used to my silence.
Kai smirks my way. She is considered highly unusual by Shymers and Futures both. No one holds any sympathy for her, however. She purposely tries standing out with her illegal habits and strange jewelry on her face. She even shows her Shymer mark in plain view, although it is considered shameful. Still, she seems to hate Society as much as I do, so I actually kind of like being around her.
“Have you met this girl yet?” she asks.
I shake my head.
“Bree met her this morning. She’s bringing her here to meet us.”
Although I would never admit it to Kai, a small thrill of excitement races through me. I may actually meet someone who made it to the Free Lands, even if only for a short time. I pick at my lunch in silence until Bree comes into view. Sure enough, there is a girl at her side. Surprisingly, itis the girl I spotted earlier in the hallway with blond hair swept into a band behind her head.
As the twosome draw nearer, I gulp in more air. Wisps of darker blond hair stick out next to the new girl’s freckle covered face. The pink top she wears isn’t something revealing like a Future would wear, and not the drab color the Shymers are known to use, either. My eyes wander to her bare skin, shimming in the sunlight over the smooth muscles of her arms and legs. She smiles brightly, reminding me of the cheerful ways of my little sister.
But this girl’s smile is even more radiant, lighting up her mesmerizing green eyes. When she looks my way, they burn a hole right through me. A rush of excitement and nerves slams into the pit of my stomach. The sensation is unlike anything I’ve ever known.
She is stunning.
Bree introduces her to us as “Olive.” Kai immediately begins drilling her with questions. I am just as curious, but afraid to speak up as I fear my voice will sound different with all these new emotions raging through me.
Olive fidgets nervously with the tray in her hands after each question is asked. She does hold her chin high, however, with something I think to be pride. She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met. Her answers are raw and honest, and she seems confused by everything Bree and Kai tell her.
I am struck with a pang of familiarity when she tells us her parents are both gone and that she was placed in the orphanage. Sadness creeps into her eyes when she speaks of the place. All too well, I remember my first night there. Was she afraid like I had been?
Her parents were foolish to think they could keep her hidden forever and keep her DOD a secret. If they hadn’t been so naïve in thinking they could continue living in the Free Lands, maybe she could have grown up in a decent home and not had to have set foot in an orphanage.
Strange feelings for the girl continue racing through me. I remind myself I shouldn’t care about her. She’s just another Shymer. There isn’t even a point in trying to make her my friend. It won’t be long until my DOD, and for all I know, hers is right around the corner.
Olive is foolish to think she can keep living in denial. Society won’t let her live carefree anymore. She’s just like the rest of us now.
I shake off the strange sensation that she continues to give me. She’s just a girl.
Olive
5 – I Thought You Would Know
Once Harrison is gone from sight and my panicked thoughts subside somewhat, I ask, “Did I do something wrong?”
“Don’t mind him,” Bree tells me kindly, the bright smile appearing back on her face. She nibbles at the food on her tray, but I only look down at mine. My appetite is gone.
“Harrison is more of the dark, brooding type,” Kai adds. She gives a sharp, gravely laugh that soon morphs into a coughing fit. Bree turns to her with a worried expression on her face. Kai’s own face turns a deeper shade of red. The awful sound makes me wonder if one of her lungs is going to actually shoot from her body.
“Are you sick?” I ask.
Once she is finished coughing, she pounds on her chest and her eyes water over. “Not really. I just smoke a pack a day.”
“What is a pack?” I ask.
“Cigarettes,” Kai answers. When I look back at her blankly, she sighs and explains, “It’s a plant you roll into paper, light and inhale. It causes you to get a buzz. The government banned it because anyone who inhales the fumes can die from repeated use. Just having it in your possession is considered a crime punishable by a lifetime of suspension.” Kai grins, her eyes sparkling. I can’t imagine why she seems so excited about doing something so perilous, especially when it appears to be making her ill.
Bree’s eyes dart across the yard nervously. “Keep your voice down!” she snaps. “Someone willhear you!”
The Shymers sitting a few yards away don’t seem the slightest bit interested in our conversation. They speak to each other with their heads held low.
Kai’s grin straightens out. “What does it matter, Bree? Everyone in this school already treats us like we’re all some kind of diseased freaks anyway. Besides, if they gave me the death penalty because Ismokeit would just hurry things up by
a couple of months.”
Kai’s words ring through my head:by a couple of months. She doesn’t have long to live. I’m still afraid of offending this unusual girl by asking when her DOD will be, even though she hadn’t hesitated to ask about mine.
I decide it’s best to change the subject. “Can someone explain to me why theseFutures—as you call them—all look the same?”
I shudder when remembering their faces blending together in the hallway. It was just so unnatural. If they were to stand straight in a line, I wonder if I would be able to distinguish one from another or if they would all look exactly the same.
“You’re too much,” Kai says with another horse-like laugh. “You reallywereraised in the wild, weren’t you?”
I nod, which makes Kai cackle even more.
“Knock it off,” Bree scolds her before her attention falls back on me. “They all want to look as attractive as possible so they are guaranteed to marry another Future and have children together.”
I open my mouth, but can’t seem to find any words. Why would making the Futures appear more attractive insure them to one day marry? “I don’t understand,” I finally say.
“What don’t you understand?” one of the plainer boys with dark brown hair falling into his eyes grumbles. “Statistics show people with certain structures of their face and with blond hair are considered to be the most attractive. The Futures started altering their children a few years ago to become one of these statistics. It’s pretty simple. The rest of us are considered undesirable to Society because we’re plain looking. We won’t live long enough for them to even bother getting to know us.”
My insides seize. How can Society judge people solely on their appearance? I don’t think any of these Shymers sitting in front of me look plain, and just because they will live a shorter life doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be filled with just as much love and happy memories. This must be another one of the brutal truths my mother had purposely kept from me.
I suddenly yearn for my mother…our simple life in the forest…the days of living quietly away from all this backward madness…the uncertainty of impending death and the freedom to live each day without regrets. At least I can take comfort in knowing it will be another year before they will tell me exactly when I will die. I plan to be gone from Society long before that happens.
“I think you guys are worth getting to know,” I say quietly.
Bree laughs, throwing her arm around my back. “That’s because you’re one ofus. If you knew you had more of a life to live you wouldn’t be wasting your time with us.”
“Are you sure about that?” I ask. There seems to be something missing from all of this—a reason why they just assume I’m a Shymer. They know my parents hid me away from Society, yet they still automatically think I’m one of them. Do they think that was the only reason she took me away? Is it only because I haven’t been altered to look like the other Futures?
I still wonder if Harrison could be a Future with his perfect face, striking blue eyes, and sandy-blond hair. But why would he stay with these Shymers when it’s clear the other Futures have a serious dislike of their kind? This group is friendly enough to me. I only hope they wouldn’t change their opinion if I decide to tell them the truth.
“What’s Harrison’s story?” I ask.
“You mean like why is he incredibly gorgeous like the Futures?” Bree asks with a small grin. I blush until my ears are burning—she knows exactly what I am thinking. “He’s not one of them, if that’s what you’re wondering. He was born that way. He carries a hatred for the system, although no one can really blame him. His entire family died all in one day.”
If it’s at all possible for your heart to break for someone you have only just met, it would explain the pang of sadness that seized me now. “All of them? How many were there?”
“Four—his parents, his younger brother and a little sister. They all died in a house fire. They knew it was coming, of course. He grew up in one of the most depressing households, knowing it would be just him after they all died. No one else would step forward to take him in, so he’s in an orphanage like you. Lots of Shymers are sent to the orphanage when their parents—usually the ones living in the Future territory—decide it isn’t worth raising them for a short time. Sometimes the parents are offered good jobs in the Future district and can’t afford to be degraded in Society because of their children.”
All of this is too much to process. My heart sinks even deeper for Harrison and all the others who were abandoned when their parents didn’t want them. How could a parent show anything but love for their child? Taylor told me there was a time in the old world when mothers were allowed to kill their babies before they were born in a kind of medical procedure. This almost seems like a perverse solution. How would it feel knowing your parents didn’t want you?
“Another bonus to living in an orphanage is that you won’t ever get to experience your playlist,” Kai says. “Sorry, but it’s not looking too promising for you.”
“What’s a playlist?” I ask, hoping to focus on something else.
Kai guffaws loudly, bringing on another coughing fit. The larger girl beside her reaches out to smack her roughly on the back a few times.
“This is why that crap is illegal,” Bree says in disgust. “You’re essentially killing your lungs, you know. I’m surprised your DOD hasn’t changed because of it.” Kai only waves her off, smirking.
“Wait!” I say, grabbing her arm. “You mean DODs can be wrong?” My parents never told me a DOD could change. Does that mean there is still hope for my new friends?
Bree tips her head. “A DOD doesn’t make you completely invincible from death. One can change over time, although it almost never happens and they don’t always catch it. Most people who know they will live past eighteen skip their yearly evaluation and don’t learn of their changed DOD. We’ve heard of people who were given the wrong DOD and died well before their given time, or even far after. The Seers aren’talways right.”
“No one in the government would ever admit the Seers can be wrong,” Kai adds with a roll of her eyes. “They want everyone to fear their DOD, like some kind of threat.”
“What’s a Seer?” I ask.
“It’s just like it sounds. They’re people who can see your death,” Kai answers. “Or as I like to call them, ‘a bunch of weirdoes with freaky abilities.’ Once the government discovered Seers could tap into the unused part of their brains, they made them their slaves. The wonderful DOD system wouldn’t be possible without them.”
Bree shoots Kai a cross-eyed look. “Anyway, aplaylist is kind of what it sounds like, Olive. It’s a list of things a Shymer wants to do or see before they die. Whenever a Shymer is missing from school, it’s usually because they’re out working on their list. Not everyone gets to actually do theirs though. If their family doesn’t have very much money, it doesn’t happen.”
As a little girl I always dreamed of things I hoped to be able to do one day. Wanting to swim in the ocean that I have only seen from a distance was high on the list, followed closely by seeing the market where my mother spent all her time away from me. But at the very top was to be a part of a musical festival. I guess I already have my ownplaylist—I just never knew there was an actual name for it.
I jump with the loud buzzer. Will I ever grow used to the invasive noise? My new friends moan, some of them rolling their eyes as they rise to their feet.
“Time for lessons,” says Bree, pulling on my arm. “C’mon. I’ll show you where your next classroom is.” The others raise their hands to us and mutter goodbyes as they shuffle under the canopies, back toward the building.
“I still have so many questions for you,” I say, not wanting to leave.
Bree shakes her head and continues to pull on me. “There isn’t time for that now. You’ll have to wait.”
* * *
By the time school has finished for the day, I have learned my place. I keep my head down, and don’t approa
ch any of the Futures. I also think I may have figured out how to run my tablet.
Bree brings me to the shuttle station where we wait for our ride. She lives in a home not far from the orphanage with her little sister and parents. As we walk side-by-side, I wonder what her house looks like. Does her family own things I wouldn’t know the name for? Does she have a real bed in a home with real floors and ceilings? I can’t help but feel a little jealous that she is going home to her family and not to some orphanage.
We walk down a long flight of stairs until we are underground and come upon a long, silver box made of smooth metal. Hundreds of students stand around waiting, all looking like Shymers by their plain appearances.
Bree looks over to me with a crooked grin. “I’m guessing this is your first shuttle ride?”
I nod, watching as the steel doors open to the compartment when we become near. Others board ahead of us and already sit on metal benches, silently waiting for the departure. As we near them, I notice their faces are all so sullen—it’s as if they are just going through the motion of life, waiting for their days on earth to be finished.
Bree walks down the aisles, but I stand frozen in the doorway, temporarily unable to move. “It’s okay,” she says, detecting my hesitation. “Only Shymers ride on here.”
But it’s not the fear of possible Futures being among us that keeps me from following. It’s the boy from earlier—the one with the beautiful blue eyes, the one who was cross with me. Harrison sits on a bench next to a smaller boy with greasy, jet black hair and wild eyes. They both watch me closely, their eyes narrowed, making their hatred apparent.
I look away and chase after Bree to the front of the shuttle. We pass two of the girls from morning break and one lifts her middle finger at us. Bree does the same and a couple Shymers snicker at this. I watch Bree, puzzled. Instead of explaining the gesture, however, she settles in an open bench a few rows ahead of the two boys.