by Jen Naumann
“I think I may have hurt my ribs. It’s not as bad as it was. It only hurts sometimes when I breathe or make any sudden movements.”
“Why didn’t you say anythingbefore?” Kendall asks, his eyes flooded with worry.
I roll my eyes. “Because I figured there was nothing that could be done about it anyway. It’s not that big of a deal, Kendall.”
“Let me see it,” he says, taking a step closer.
“No, I’m okay.”
His face clouds over. I have noticed when he is upset, the skin between his eyes turns into two deep creases that make him appear much older than nineteen. “What if you have a bone sticking out? You could damage one of your organs.”
“I can leave if the two of you need some alone time,” Arlandria says dryly.
“It’s not what you think,” Kendall tells her.
Arlandria laughs. “Oh believe me, I know. I heard all about it. She’s in love with Tayrn’s Shymer cousin. Likethat is going to work out.”
Kendall whirls around to face her with such speed and malice, the movement actually frightens me. “Don’t talk like that!” His face is hard and he stands so close to Arlandria their faces are nearly touching. She glares back at him, looking ready to fight. Kiki stirs near my feet and I stroke her head until she soon falls back into a steady breathing pattern.
Kendall backs away from Arlandria, shaking his head. “Don’t say things like that. You know I loved her.” He returns to the task of packing the bag without another word on the subject.
Arlandria suddenly appears remorseful—she holds her head low and her shoulders are slouched. She looks down at the ground. “I know you did. I’m sorry, Kendall. You’re right. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“What are you two talking about?” I ask. “Loved who?” If we are counting on each other to make our plan to rescue my friends and join the Rebels work smoothly, the two of them can’t continue to argue like this.
“Kendall was in love with my sister,” Arlandria blurts. “Then she died, just like every other Shymer.”
Kendall’s head swings back in her direction. “Can we not talk about this right now?”
I instantly feel crushed for my brother. Maybe this girl’s death is part of the reason he is so protective of me. Does he know if I am a Shymer or a Future? Until now, I hadn’t thought of asking him. I certainly can’t do it now with Arlandria in the room. He made it clear I am not to tell people we are brother and sister.
Yet he seems to know more about myself than I do—maybe he knows what I am or evenwho I really am. Maybe he knows why people think I’m a Future even though I have the Shymer mark.
My mind drifts back to my mother. She spent my entire life trying to keep my fate from me. She would not want me to know. The Rebels are trying to stop people from being discriminated against because of their quantity of life. Everyone would be better off not having any idea of when their time is up. Maybe I’m not meant to know the truth.
Arlandria’s eyes are filled with tears when she frowns at Kendall. “You don’t even let me say her name anymore.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Kendall tells her, that aging-frown reappearing on his face.
“It matters to me,” Arlandria tells him softly. “And whether you want to admit it or not, it should matter to you. She wouldn’t want you to forget her like this.”
There are scurrying noises in the tunnel with the return of the others. Arlandria turns to the corner of the room, wiping her tears away with her hand.
Kendall’s eyes fall on me, the pain he has tried to bury resurfacing. I want to wrap my arms around him, even though we’re still strangers of sorts and despite the wholenot liking to be touched thing. What happened to make him afraid of physical contact? Does this brother of mine ever know our mother’s love the way I do? Did his family in Society love him? Has no one touched him before? Is Arlandria’s sister the only one who he every truly loved?
The boy with spectacles comes rushing through the tunnel opening. “There are aton of soldiers coming this way. It won’t be long.”
Kendall nods. “It’s time to go.”
Kiki won’t detach herself from my arms. Kendall groans and gives in, with the condition that Arlandria has to carry her to spare my tender ribs. Kiki instead opts to walk alongside me, holding my hand. It’s strange how this little girl made an instant bond with me, considering the situation. We are family of sorts and she seems to sense it.
We travel for as long as the daylight will allow. When darkness covers the sky and we can hardly see anything, Kendall announces we will camp out for the night. Agreeing that we won’t make it any farther in the night, I spread my blanket out across the ground and let Kiki curl up into me. Arlandria settles in on the other side of Kiki, while Kendall sleeps close enough to us that I can feel the heat from his body. His presence is comforting.
Once Kiki and Arlandria are breathing slow and steady, I whisper over my shoulder to my brother. “How old were you when our parents took me away from Society?”
For a moment I think maybe he’s sleeping, too, when he doesn’t answer right away. Then, “I was ten.”
My breathing slows. That would have been around the time I was six—around the time all my memories seem to have disappeared. While it’s true there was some kind of familiar connection to him when we first met, I still cannot remember one single thing about having a brother. “Why did they leave you behind?”
“I told you, it’s really complicated, Olive.”
“You also said there wasn’t time before. Whenwill we have time to sit down and talk? Between looking for my friends and your running off with the Rebels, we may not get the chance to speak like this again.”
I can hear him inhale deeply. “Sometime when we are totally alone, I promise I will tell you everything. Right now we have bigger things to worry about.”
“How long have you known Kiki?”
“Since she was born.”
This answer, however, doesnot come as a surprise as the two of them seem very close. “You lived with her parents all these years?”
There is a pause of silence. “Yes. Can I please go to sleep now?”
I chew on my lip. “Kendall?” He grunts in reply. “Why don’t you like to be touched?”
“I can’t…it’s…now is not the time to tell you, Olive.”
I huff. There are so many secrets he refuses to tell me. Arlandria doesn’t know Kendall is my brother, yet she seems to know why he doesn’t like to be touched. I plan to ask her about it when we’re alone.
The voice I have been trying to push away all day resurfaces—Harrison and Tayrn may have moved beyond the Free Lands by now. I may never see any of them again. I have a hard time falling asleep, even though the coolness of the night and the noises of the forest are familiar.
* * *
My eyes pop open to find the bright sun already shining through the trees. Kiki dozes soundly in my arms and I can see the slow, steady movements of Arlandria in her slumber. I don’t have to look back at Kendall to know he is still out. His long breaths are warm against my neck.
I yawn and stretch my arms up over me, tilting my head as I do. Inches away from the ends of my hair, I find a pair of soldier’s boots.
Harrison
20 – Something is Wrong
We run through the forest for a short while until Tayrn nearly collapses with exhaustion. The extreme warmth of the night air and my worry over Olive’s safety keeps me awake most of the night. Just before dawn, I hear the faint rumble of loud explosions in the distance, followed by flashes of something bright against the sky. Have the Rebels started their attack? With my heart hammering in my chest, I sit up.
Tayrn attempted to appear brave and undamaged by everything that has happened, but now I hear her sobbing beside me. Cutting the communicator out from behind her ear had been every bit as horrible of an experience as I had feared it would be. She was surprisingly calm when I stood beside her with the blade, but she crie
d in pain when it cut through her skin. Although I tried to be as gentle as I could about it, I think I cut too deep and had to press my shirt to the wound when I feared the bleeding would never stop. Finally it did, however, and the glue worked as well as JoLynn promised in keeping her skin together.
I slide closer to her. “Does it still hurt?”
She sniffles. “It’s not my ear. I mean it’s sore and everything, but I’m just afraid of what is going to happen to us. What if someone finds us out here, Harrison? What will happen if the soldiers discover us?”
“You know what will happen.”
“Yeah, but will they shoot us right away? Do you think it hurts to be shot? What if they decide to show mercy on me because I’m a Future? I won’t go anywhere without you, and I would rather die than be locked up in suspension.”
I bring my cousin close and hug her as I have seen Olive do so many times to Bree. “They won’t find us, Tayrn. I promise. I’m going to keep you safe. We’re going to find your girlfriend and make it out of here alive. Do you understand?”
She makes another small sobbing noise. “I’m so sorry about Olive!”
I close my eyes, grateful that Tayrn can’t see the pain cross my face. “There is nothing you could have done.”
“I should have tried to help her! If you never see her again—“
“Stop!” I choke. “Dwelling on it won’t do us any good. Let’s just focus on what we have to do next. We have to move before the helicopters come.”
As we continue on, there is still a terrible ache inside me that will never go away. I can’t stop thinking of Olive—the way her hand feels inside mine, the way her smile warms my insides, the way her eyes are alive when she watches me. Before I met her, I never wondered how it would feel to love someone so much that it hurt. I never looked at my parents and dreamed that I would one day know the feeling that had kept them together all of their adult lives. I never wanted to be with someone so badly that it kept me from thinking straight. I didn’t think it would ever be possible for me to know this kind of love.
Looking over at Tayrn quietly running at my side, I decide going back to join the Rebels would be totally unfair to her. I make myself a promise that I will keep her safe. Even though I probably will never see Olive again, my cousin still has a chance at being happy with the person she loves. At least one of us should get a chance at that kind of happiness.
* * *
When morning and then afternoon both disappear and we still aren’t able to find the blackberry bush, the twist in my gut grows. I know nothing about surviving in the wild. I know how to distance myself from others and how to keep to myself, but now I have this added obligation to keep my cousin safe. She risked everything in asking her girlfriend to help me and in trying to bring Olive here with her. I owe her everything.
We settle in for the night in a bed of fern branches, not far from a stunning waterfall. Tayrn curls into my side and falls asleep almost immediately. Despite the fear and hopelessness overwhelming me, I pass out soon after.
* * *
In the early morning after eating some of the very last portions of food Lani sent with us and taking a stop to bathe in the water, we come upon an unusual grouping of trees. There are colorful marks on their trunks in shades of green and pink, looking as if someone took a paint brush to them. Tayrn and I stand still together, taking the strange sight in.
My cousin rests her hands on her hips, staring up at the beautiful trees. “Those are the coolest things I’ve ever seen.”
A sudden sharp stab flares between my shoulders from the weight of the pack. I reach back to tug my grandfather’s book from it. The burden of its weight has become too much. My family’s treasure has remained safely hidden for this long, despite everything. I’m afraid what will happen to it if soldiers discover us out here in the Free Lands.
“There’s something I have to do,” I say, falling to my knees underneath one of the colorful trees, my fingers digging the soil away. Tayrn drops down to my side to help. The two of us dig together until the hole is deep enough to cover the book. I look down on the fresh dirt with the hope that I will return before anyone else stumbles upon it.
Once the book is completely hidden, Tayrn springs to her feet. “I’ll just be a minute. I have to…you know…” She blushes.
I balk for a moment before I realize she is saying she has to go to the bathroom. I nod in understanding. She disappears behind the group of trees and I sit down underneath the shade of the strange trees to rest.
As I look off into the unknown, my fears return. Where will we find food? What about shelter? What if we never find Tayrn’s girlfriend? These woods are vast—a person could travel for days and become lost easily. What if we can’t find a way to safely reach the other islands?
The plan was made with Olive in mind. She knows the layout of this forest. She knows how to survive out here. Without her, we may be doomed.
Suddenly, there is movement in the bushes off to my right. I carefully lower my body to the ground, holding my breath.
“Harrison?” a high voice calls out.
I stay frozen, waiting. When my name is repeated, the familiarity of the voice can’t be missed. “Bree?” I ask, rising to my feet. I chuckle with relief when seeing my little friend standing in front of me. When I spring forward to her, she breaks down sobbing. Her small arms wrap around me and she cries into my chest.
After a few moments, she draws away, smiling. “I was afraid I’d never find you!”
“What happened to you? Olive told my cousin you weren’t in lessons.”
Her smile weakens. “After I told my parents I wanted to leave with Olive, they told the government they were taking me out to work on my playlist. My father knew of a Rebel from work that helped me cross over. Turns out my parents loved me even more than I thought.”
I squeeze her arm. “I’m sorry. It must have been hard to tell them goodbye.”
A small, crooked smile tugs at her lips. “Olive is really starting to rub off on you, Harrison. Where is she?”
A massive ball of sorrow rises into my throat. I have to swallow it down before I can answer. “She didn’t make it, Bree. She’s not coming.”
Her face falls. “What do you mean? Why not? Where is she? What happened? How could you leave her behind?” Her lips tremble in a mix of sorrow and rage that I recognize well.
Sadness overwhelms me to the point that I feel like I’m choking. “The orphanage director caught me trying to sneak out, so I had to leave earlier than planned. My cousin led Olive to the edge of the Future territory for me, but…someone caught Olive trying to leave. They took her away, Bree. She’s not coming with us.”
She seems just as crushed as I had been with the first delivery of this news. I have to hold her up when she lets go and cries out, trembling uncontrollably in my arms. I push my eyes closed, hoping I won’t cry along with her. My father taught me men have to be strong. But it’s difficult to watch Olive’s friend falling apart right in front of my eyes.
We stand together as she sobs for countless moments when, quite suddenly, my cousin Tayrn yells loudly. It’s the sound of surprise and distress—the sound of someone in trouble.
I pull Bree down to the tall grasses with me.
Her brown eyes, still filled with tears, are wild. “What was that?”
“My cousin,” I whisper. “Something is wrong. Stay here.”
I crawl through the tall grasses on my hands and knees, feeling like some kind of jungle animal I once read about in my grandfather’s book. I don’t remember the name, only that it was a large cat with long, smooth muscles that became extinct in the old world, before the government decided the sun was too hot for larger animals and wrangled most of them inside locked shelters.
Tayrn’s voice pleads for something. I quicken my pace, ready to jump out and help her, stopping all at once when I hear a man’s voice yelling. “If you’re a Future then what are you doing out here in the Free Lands?”
> I look through the thick of the forest separating me from my cousin and see enough to understand she is completely surrounded by soldiers. There must be six of them, or even more. Tayrn is on her knees with her hands held over her head. Her face is streaked with tears.
“I was brought out here by a Rebel!” she cries. “He held his gun on me and said I had to come along with him! He said they were all lonely out here without any women and that I was going to be their entertainment!”
My stomach drops. I lied to her—I promised that they wouldn’t find us, that we would be okay. And yet here she is, lying to protect me. If I were to step forward and help her now, they would only punish her more for lying to protect a Shymer. Maybe her pleading cries and anguished face are convincing enough for them to believe her.
Bree bumps into me. Her eyes are red and swollen from crying. “They’re going to take her back into Society,” she whispers between sobs. “You have to do something!”
I glance back to see a couple of the soldiers talking to each other, their voices low. “I can’t. It’s too late.”
Tayrn makes more choked sobs. I know I should go to her. I should help her. But Bree stands with me now, her hands gripping my arm. She has lost her friend as well as leaving her family behind. I can’t leave her all alone in the forest either. I now know how helpless Tayrn must have felt when she watched Olive being taken away.
“You’ll go into suspension until they can decide if you’re a Rebel supporter or not,” one of the soldiers tells Tayrn.
Bree and I duck down just as Tayrn and the soldiers pass us by. For a fleeting moment, I catch my cousin’s gaze. She winks at me, a small grin on her lips.
* * *
Bree and I nestle in the safety of another fern patch while she sleeps. I can’t stand the thought of shutting my own eyes for fear of all the nightmares that are sure to come rushing at me. I have failed the only girl I ever loved, and now my cousin. Will I be able to protect Bree, or will I lose her, too? This journey is beginning to feel completely hopeless. Now I know why my father told me I must leave Society on my own.