by John Tovey
‘I’d love to,’ I said, scampering to my feet.
We walked for ages. Once the humans had let us off our leads, Misty and I went exploring in the woods. As I followed, I noticed she seemed to be searching for something.
‘What have you lost?’ I asked.
‘Nothing,’ she explained, sniffing the ground. ‘I’m looking for sticks.’
I scratched my head.
‘You know what sticks are, right?’ she said, suddenly stopping in her tracks.
‘Yeah, course I do,’ I fibbed.
But I didn’t, not really.
‘Well,’ she said, sticking her nose back down to the ground. ‘If you see any good ones, give me a shout.’
‘Oh, I will!’ I replied, as I stuck my nose against a pile of leaves and tried to copy what she was doing. I walked along, sniffing along the ground like a doggy hoover, and then my head suddenly hit something: a little brown body and four skinny legs were standing right in front of me.
‘You don’t know what sticks are, do you?’
Misty had guessed correctly.
‘Yes, I do!’ I protested, but I knew I’d been found out. ‘Erm, erm, they’re…’
But my voice stammered as I tried my best to think of something to say.
‘Look, Dez, if you don’t know, then just say. I’m not going to laugh or make fun. But you mustn’t lie to me, not ever. Understand?’
I nodded my head glumly because now I felt stupid.
‘Yes, I understand.’
Misty beckoned me further into the woods as she began to explain what sticks were. ‘They’re brown, sticky things attached to trees,’ she told me, while giving me a guided tour. Suddenly she stopped and lifted her head. ‘Look up there!’ She gestured upwards with her nose to a branch in the tree above.
‘But that’s a branch.’
‘Yeah, but branches get broken up and then they turn into sticks,’ she explained.
Misty was clearly on the trail of one as her nose hovered along the ground. A few seconds later, she turned to me with a huge piece of branch wedged in her mouth. It gave her a wooden smile.
‘Scheee, this isss wha I mea…nnn,’ she drooled, as she clamped it tight in her jaw.
‘But what can you do with a stick?’ I asked.
Misty dropped it to the ground.
‘What can’t you do? You can throw it, like this,’ she said, grabbing one end, throwing it up in the air. ‘You can hide it, bury it, or you can snap it in half with your teeth like this.’
She panted, crunching it between her front canines.
CRUNCH!
The stick split clean in half.
‘Here, you have that bit,’ she said, nudging it towards me.
‘Oh, no! We’re not allowed to play with balls or sticks, only toys.’
Misty sighed and shook her head.
‘Well, I think it’s a stupid rule because I love sticks, they’re the best!’
‘But aren’t they meant to be dangerous, and what if you get splinters in your tongue?’
Misty stopped chewing. ‘What? Blimey, Dez, you’re a right little Goody Two-Shoes, aren’t you? Next, you’ll be telling me you’re not allowed to swim.’
My face flushed bright red.
‘Well, erm, I’m not allowed to go in water, if that’s what you mean. It’s another rule and…’
Misty held up her paw to stop me. ‘Good grief! Aren’t you allowed to have any fun? What’s the matter, Dezzy boy, are you frightened? Is that what it is? Are you scared of dipping your paw in the pond, hmm?’
I shook my head.
‘Of course not, I’m braver than you!’
‘Bet you’re not!’
‘Am,’ I argued.
‘Okay then, superdog! Come on, let’s see how good you are. Let’s go for a swim!’ Misty suggested, her eyes glistening with excitement.
‘But I haven’t brought my… I mean…’ I stammered.
‘What, haven’t you brought your pink bikini, is that it? Diddums!’ she teased, sticking out her bottom lip.
I looked over my shoulder. My puppy walkers were close behind with Misty’s family.
‘Come on, I dare you!’ She panted, running off towards the lake. ‘Anyway,’ she called back, ‘it’ll be fuuuuunnnn!’ Her voice trailed as she disappeared towards the water’s edge.
‘Okay, coming!’ I barked, trying to catch her up.
‘Dez!’ I heard Niki’s voice call from behind, but once I’d started running, I couldn’t stop. Instead I focused on Misty, who’d already jumped into the water.
‘This is so much fun!’ she giggled, splashing with her paws.
‘Geronimo…’ I howled, as I shut my eyes and ran. As my paws left the ground, I sailed high into the air and that’s when I remembered… I COULDN’T SWIM!
‘Dez!’ Niki’s voice called in a panic.
SPLASH!
The water swallowed me whole as it whooshed up and over the top of my head. I tried to open my eyes, but the dirty lake stung against them, making everything blurred.
‘GLUG, GLUG,’ I spluttered. I tried to move my arms around and copy Misty, but it wasn’t easy. Then I noticed her face change as she watched me struggle to keep my head above water.
‘You can swim, can’t you?’ she barked loudly across the water.
‘No, no! GLUG! NO!’ I coughed.
‘But all dogs can swim! Can’t you do the doggy paddle?’
‘What’s… GLUG. COUGH. SPLUTTER. What’s the doggy paddle?’
Everything went dark as Misty swam over to save me. I felt a hand against my collar and then the sensation of being pulled upwards as Harry, Niki’s youngest son (besides me) fished me out, coughing and spluttering.
‘Dez, what on earth…?’ Niki sighed as she wrapped me up in a dry towel. I was shivering with both cold and shock.
‘Sorry, Niki,’ I whined.
‘What on earth were you thinking? You could have drowned!’
Niki didn’t tell me off because she was worried I’d hurt myself. It took me a few hours, but eventually I began to thaw out. I was just starting to get warm when I heard two voices outside the tent – it was Sue and Misty.
‘Dez!’ Misty said, coming inside to give me a cuddle. ‘I’m sorry, I thought you could swim.’
‘So did I! I forgot I couldn’t, and by the time I’d remembered it was too late,’ I said, shuddering.
‘Oh, Dez! Don’t worry, I can teach you, if you like. We could go paddling; build it up slowly. You’ll need to learn one day, so it may as well be now.’
After my near-death experience, I was a little scared to dip a paw in the water, but Misty taught me in stages until soon I was able to swim without water wings.
‘Thanks, Misty!’ I giggled, because I now realised just how much fun it could be.
‘You’re welcome. We’ll make a guide dog out of you yet!’
‘Yeah,’ I said, splashing her in the face, ‘just don’t tell them I’ve played with balls and sticks, otherwise they’ll throw me out!’
The rest of the week passed by without incident and all too soon the holiday was at an end. I’d had such a brilliant time.
‘See you next year?’ Misty asked me.
‘Definitely!’ I woofed.
CHAPTER 6
FAST FOOD
‘So, how was your holiday?’ Stan asked as we strolled in the park, a few days later.
‘Erm, well, it was, hmm, you know, a little eventful!’ I replied.
‘Huh?’ Stan replied, giving me a sideways glance. ‘Why’s that?’
I explained all about the sticks, balls and breaking into the tent for sweets. Then I told him about the lake Misty and I had splashed about in.
‘…and I almost drowned! But Harry saved me. Then Misty taught me how to swim.’
Stan shook his head: ‘Sounds like you had quite an adventure. As for Misty, well, she sounds like quite a gal!’ He grinned. ‘I think you’ll have to introduce me sometime.’
We walked ar
ound the park, with Stan filling me in on what I’d missed while I’d been away.
‘Winston was asking about you, me old china plate!’ he chuckled, trying to mimic the bulldog’s accent.
‘Was he?’
‘Yeah, he said, “Where’s the old bin lid?” – kid, meaning you. Proper smart he looked too. He was wearing his new Union Jack shirt, or “Dickie Dirt”, as he called it.’
At this I sniggered. I could imagine Winston proud and patriotic, dressed in the English flag.
‘I love Winston – he’s so funny, the way he talks.’
‘He is, son, he is,’ Stan agreed.
Moments later, he looked up.
‘Hey, have I introduced you to Willow?’
‘Er, no, I don’t think so.’
‘Well, don’t look now, but here she comes.’
‘Hi boys,’ Willow said, striding towards us like a fourlegged supermodel. She sashayed slightly and then swivelled towards Stan, fluttering her long, black eyelashes. ‘Who’s your little friend, then?’ she asked, looking down at me from the top of her impossibly long legs.
Willow was a beautiful, if not slightly skinny, tall greyhound. It was obvious she liked Stan by the way she was gazing at him adoringly.
‘Oh, Willow, meet Dez. He’s training to become a guide dog.’
‘Ooh,’ Willow cooed, with a paw to her chest, her eyelashes fluttering twice as fast, ‘I love a dog in uniform! So, have you started training?’
‘No, not yet – I’ve got another six months before I go back to the guide-dog training centre.’
Willow listened intently; she almost seemed impressed. ‘I was once a professional, you know,’ she chipped in.
‘Really? What did you do?’
Willow’s eyes misted over as she began to explain. ‘I was an athlete – a runner. I was faster than Usain Bolt – a champion in my day, but…’ her voice tailed off, as she looked down sadly, ‘…I’m afraid I can no longer compete.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because I’ve let myself go, I’ve put on a little weight. I’m a bit… fat,’ she said, whispering the last word.
‘FAT?!’ I exclaimed.
‘Shush!’ Willow screeched, looking round to check no one had heard me.
‘But you’re not fat!’ I insisted.
Tall and elegant, like a giraffe, she was slim, so slim that you could see her ribs.
‘That’s what I’ve been trying to tell her,’ Stan interrupted. ‘But she won’t listen.’
‘Do you not think so?’ Willow murmured.
‘No, not at all! If anything, I think you’re a bit skinny.’
‘Really?’ she gasped. ‘But… but don’t you think my bum looks big?’
She turned around for me to take a look.
‘Nope!’
‘And my ankles, don’t they look a little bit swollen to you?’
I shook my head.
‘What about my belly? Don’t you think I look a bit podgy?’ she asked, squidging a tiny ripple of skin between her paws.
‘No,’ I insisted. ‘If anything, you look like you could do with a good meal! Listen, life is too short to worry about your weight, you should just relax and enjoy yourself.’
Willow’s eyes blinked back tears of relief. ‘You’re so kind, Dez. I think that’s the nicest thing anyone ever said to me.’
I laughed. ‘Maybe that’s because I love my food a little too much,’ I chuckled, tapping my big, round tum. ‘If I could get my hands on one of those ice creams or anything sweet, then I’d be one happy pup!’
Stan and Willow laughed as I licked my lips dreamily.
‘Hmmm,’ I sighed, lost in my fantasy.
Despite the joke, my wish came sooner than I thought. The following day, I was in the park, only this time Stan wasn’t with me. He was at the dog groomer’s, having a much-needed haircut. He didn’t say it, but I think he was smartening himself up for Willow, because he’d asked her out on a dinner date. So, I was all alone and to be honest, without my best pal I was a little bit bored. Teatime was ages away and I was starving hungry. Niki had let me off the lead, but she was busy talking when I spotted something out of the corner of my eye: a huge pile of unattended sandwiches. The bread looked soft, white and fluffy – the perfect snack to sink my teeth into. Although I didn’t know what fillings they had, they looked delicious. I glanced over one shoulder, and saw that Niki wasn’t watching. Then I looked back at the picnic sandwiches: they were sitting on a plastic plate in the middle of a tartan blanket, surrounded by some cups of orange squash. I glanced around, once more.
Nope, they’ve been left all alone. Maybe they wouldn’t miss a few little sandwiches, I reasoned, my mouth drooling.
I ran towards them. My belly was rumbling, and I was desperate to grab just one sandwich. I ran faster and faster as I heard Niki’s voice calling me from a distance. ‘Dez… Oh, noooooo!’ her voice trailed as I kept the sandwiches firmly in my sight.
With a deft flick of my head, I picked up as many sandwiches as I could grab from the top of the pile. With a wedge of them dangling from my mouth, I dashed over to the hedge, where I tried to hide. I knew it was wrong, but sometimes my belly just took over. As I gobbled them down one by one, I couldn’t believe how delicious they tasted. They were filled with some sticky red stuff I’d never had before. It was so scrumptious that I craved more. As I chewed away, I spotted a figure running towards me: it was Niki, and she looked none too happy.
Uh-oh! I thought, dipping my head guiltily. I’m in trouble… again!
‘No, Dez, that’s naughty!’ Niki scolded.
I thought she’d try and grab the last of my stolen sandwiches, so I wolfed it down in one mouthful.
GULP!
But Niki seemed more disappointed than angry, which made me feel worse. With my belly full, I stood there with my head dipped as she told me off.
‘Well, I suppose I’ll have to go over and apologise to those poor people,’ she sighed. ‘You do realise, you’ve ruined their picnic!’
Niki was right, of course. I cocked my head to one side so that I could look behind her legs. The picnicking family didn’t look very happy at having their sandwiches stolen by a greedy pup. It made me feel really bad. I was worried they’d tell Guide Dogs, and then I’d get into some real trouble.
‘Come on, you’re going to come over with me and say sorry,’ she said, clipping my lead on. As I stood with my eyes cast guiltily to the ground, Niki apologised on my behalf. I continued to hang my Labrador head in shame as I licked the remains of the gorgeous sticky-sweet mixture from my mouth.
It really did taste delicious, I thought, my mind wandering.
‘I’m so sorry,’ Niki apologised to the man, his wife and two children. ‘He’s a, erm, guide dog in training. I don’t know what came over him. I mean, he’s usually so good…’
But the man had heard enough. ‘My children were really looking forward to those strawberry jam sandwiches,’ he said, interrupting her.
Mmmmmmmm! I thought, my tongue slurping the outside of my mouth. Strawberry jam, that’s what it’s called!
Strawberry jam had just become my new favourite food! It tasted so much better than plain old boring dog biscuits. I tried to remember the name ‘strawberry’ as Niki continued:
‘…so… please, let me give your children some money for ice cream, it’s the very least I can do,’ she said, taking her purse out of her bag.
Later that evening, when she’d recounted the whole sorry tale to the rest of the family, they turned to look at me in horror.
‘Dez? You mean he’s a sandwich thief!’ Molly gasped.
‘’Fraid so.’ Niki nodded, as she stacked up plates in the dishwasher.
I was worried because I’d got into trouble over the sandwiches, but now I’d tasted strawberries, it was all I could think of. A few days later, the sun was shining so we headed out in the car for a day at the seaside. By the time we’d arrived, the beach was packed. The golden sand felt
soft and slippy, but lovely and warm beneath my four paws. Molly was busy pulling out towels from a bag with Niki. I was just looking towards the sea when my Labrador nose detected a sweet scent blowing in the breeze. I glanced all around – it smelled exactly the same as the delicious sandwiches I’d snaffled in the park. My head spun, taking in the crowded beach and all the people. I looked at what food they were eating.
SNIFF…
Hmmmm, my mouth drooled. Fish and chips, with lashings of salt and vinegar, delicious!
But it wasn’t that (even though they smelt really good). I lifted my head and tried to concentrate.
SNIFF…
Suntan lotion? No, I thought, shaking my head, it definitely wasn’t that. So I tried again. Strawberry, wasn’t that what the picnic man had called it? Hmmm, yes, I could certainly smell strawberries! But where was the delicious aroma coming from?
My eyes flicked from one family to the next, but there wasn’t a sandwich in sight. I sniffed the air some more, and that’s when I spotted them – a punnet of red, heart-shaped pieces of fruit on a blanket between two ladies.
Ah, so that’s what strawberries look like!
I checked where Niki was, but she was still busy with Molly and the towels, so I edged closer and gave the air a second, cursory sniff.
Yep, they were definitely strawberries! I decided.
I turned around. Molly and Niki were unrolling towels, while Jon and the boys had gone for a quick splash about in the sea. I saw my chance. Now, I knew I shouldn’t, because stealing was wrong, but my belly rumbled and the strawberries looked so delicious. Although I knew I’d get into even more trouble, once again I allowed my belly to rule my head.
‘Geronimo!’ I barked, as I charged full pelt towards two women and the delicious strawberries.
Hurry up! I panicked. I noticed one of the women take a strawberry from the top. Out of breath and panting, I didn’t care. I charged straight through the middle of them, grabbing a mouthful of fruit as I dashed by in a doggy blur.
‘NOM, NOM, NOM…’ I chomped. My mouth was so stuffed full of strawberries that the red juice was streaming out of the front of it.
‘Dez!’ Molly shrieked.
‘Oh no, not again!’ Niki sighed.