“Kyle asked to be moved to another room when he woke yesterday. I went to your home after getting a list of things to pack from Kyle, and I packed a small suitcase for you. As things progress, you’ll be allowed, under supervision initially, to go home and get more things. Well, if you decide to stay with us, that’s what’ll happen. If you decide you want to leave, then things will go differently. And nothing was done to you. You have my word that we don’t want to harm you.”
She stared at Estella, angry but not sure what to say next. Estella finally broke the silence.
“What’s this really about? I know you still have to tell us what you’ve decided. But in all honesty, I feel it’s just a formality. I know I only got to work with you for a short time. But you don’t seem like the ‘take medication and get relegated to the sidelines’ type of person. You’re a doer. A fighter. So join us, and fight for Earth.”
Lauren watched Estella without saying anything, and Estella responded only with silence.
“The problem is,” Lauren began finally, ending the silent standoff, “I feel like I’m being manipulated or forced or something. You’re right. I am a doer. But I don’t like that I’ve been lied to, kidnapped, and am now being held prisoner. My phone doesn’t even work. How can I work with you guys or trust you if I’m being controlled?”
Estella nodded as she listened with that detached professional look on her face that irritated Lauren. “I get what you’re saying. But what we’re doing here could literally mean the difference between life and death one day. So sometimes our tactics are a bit heavy handed.”
Lauren snorted. “A bit heavy handed?”
“Yes, a bit. We could have done this differently. When I confirmed that you were connected to Trebor, I could have prescribed you something to break the connection without you even knowing what was happening. That would have been us controlling you. We could have made you a non-issue and moved on. But we didn’t. I didn’t. I wanted to give you a chance to find out the truth and join us voluntarily. So here I am, asking you what you would like to do. Do you want to join us? Or not?”
While it was true that Estella could have prescribed her medication that would have prevented Lauren from ever finding out the truth, she still didn’t like how she and Kyle had been taken against their wills and her hand had been forced. And it wasn’t that she was being forced to make a decision she didn’t want to make that angered Lauren. It was that she was being forced to make this decision now. And, that because she had to make it now, her relationship with Kyle had ended.
“You know I want to join you. I want to do whatever will allow me to stay in contact with Roxal. Roxal. I need to meditate,” Lauren stated as a vague memory was triggered. It seemed like it had something to do with her dream, though she couldn’t really remember how or what.
Estella smiled. “We’re glad to have you on board. I’ll let Graham know. Did you want to know anything else?”
Lauren took a loud, heavy breath. “Yeah. What about Kyle? What happens to him now?”
“I think we’re close to helping him understand the importance of coming to an agreement to keep quiet about us and what we’re really doing.”
“And when do I get my freedom back?”
Estella slowly shook her head from side to side and shrugged. “I can’t give you an exact timeline. But as you work with us and you show that you can be trusted, you will earn more and more freedom. In the meantime, we can work to make you more comfortable. I’ll give you a key to this apartment and show you around. You’ll have access to all of the common areas, but that’s it for now. And you’ll be under guard whenever you leave the apartment.”
“Being under continuous surveillance unless I’m locked in this gilded prison sounds so comfortable,” Lauren replied and rolled her eyes.
“We can work to make your apartment homier. I can arrange a trip to your home so you can get more of your stuff. You’ll be living here for a while, and we want you to be comfortable.”
“If I’m going to be here for some undetermined length of time, what about my life? My job, my parents, people who know me? What will they think if I just disappear all of a sudden?”
“Handling your job will be easy. You were out on medical leave. I’ll extend your leave, then eventually you’ll write them a letter of resignation, citing stress as the reason. Lucas, and the others like him, won’t want to cause any problems, so he’ll keep his mouth shut. As for your parents, you’ll be allowed to call them and tell them you are going on sabbatical. We’ll help you come up with answers to questions they may ask. As for friends, we’ll allow you to call them also with a similar story. We’ll just need a list of your friends that we can vet first.”
“Fine,” Lauren said and turned her back to Estella and faced the refrigerator. She hated feeling like a prisoner. She needed to meditate. She needed to talk to the person she was enduring all of this for. She needed to connect with Roxal.
She heard a rustling on the sofa behind her but didn’t turn around to see what Estella was doing.
“Lauren, I understand how overwhelming this all must be for you. Just trust me, it will get better. I’ll leave you alone. Or do you want to start your tour now? You must be hungry. I can show you to the dining hall.”
“No. I just want to be left alone for a while. I’ve already had something to eat.”
“Okay. But if you need anything, just tell the guard outside and he can call me or whoever is needed. Bye, Lauren.”
“Bye,” Lauren replied, still refusing to turn around. She heard the jangle of metal on metal and then a metallic smack before hearing the sound of Estella leaving her apartment and locking the door.
When she turned around to face the door again, she saw the light glint off of the single metal key Estella had left on the coffee table. Lauren didn’t walk over to make sure the door was locked or to get the key. Instead, she walked into the bedroom and sat on the bed with her back against the headboard. She needed to talk to her friend.
CHAPTER 32
Edo was still gone, so Roxal decided to try to connect with Lauren again. Conjuring up her emotional triggers was easier this time. The dreamscape came into view, and this time, Lauren was there, sitting in the purple and green chair awake-Lauren always appeared with.
“Hello, Lauren,” Roxal spoke.
Lauren stood and looked in her direction. “Roxal! You’re alive!” The Earth woman ran over and hugged her. Roxal returned the hug, relieved to be speaking with awake Lauren.
“Yes. I am. I was able to escape from the Reps, and I found Edo. He is alive.”
Lauren released her and looked into her face with her mouth agape. “Really! That’s great. I’m so happy for you. Everything’s worked out for you. I’m so happy,” Lauren said. Then she started crying.
She laid her head on Roxal’s shoulder and cried, though no tears fell in the dreamscape. “I really am happy for you,” Lauren said through her sobs.
“I know you are,” Roxal replied while still comforting Lauren.
Eventually she stopped and pulled away from Roxal.
“I’m sorry. The past few days have been difficult. And I just feel like I’m alone in this. So seeing you, right now, is just such a relief. And knowing that you’re not only safe but with Edo again is great. I just have a lot going on here. But I don’t want to talk about me. What’s happened to you?”
“I was able to escape, with the help of a Medic, and I went outside of our compound. I could not believe I was doing it. We had been taught it was a wasteland, but it is not. I was able to touch the soil of my planet. And it is not brown like on Earth but reddish and purple.” As she described it, the floor beneath their feet changed to dark red and purple soil. “And the late helio sky is a brilliant red. There are trees with copper leaves and some have blue and yellow flowers. It is wonderful.” Roxal and Lauren were now standing in the middle of a Treborian forest.
Roxal watched as Lauren turned around in circles, taking it all in. �
��Your planet is beautiful, Roxal. I wish I could see it in person.”
Roxal smiled. She was happy to share this moment with her friend.
“So what happened next? How did you find Edo?”
As Roxal thought of her response to this question, Trebor disappeared, replaced again by the darkened void. Both of the women just floated in the open space.
“I was captured, blindfolded, and taken to an undisclosed location. The Resistors found me, but thought I was an enemy. I was tortured, again. I do not remember it. But it was during this that Edo found me. I just remember waking in someone’s living quarters and then Edo came in.”
The emotion of that moment washed over her, and Roxal felt warm and tingly in her stomach. Lauren smiled. “Seems like that’s a very good memory for you, judging by what I’m feeling,” she said.
“Learning Edo was alive was a great moment. However, since then, I have not been so great. No one here, other than Edo, trusts me. In some ways, I still do not feel that I am free.”
“I know that feeling.”
“Why? What has happened to you, Lauren?”
“I was visited by my supervisor from work. Turns out, he also has a Traveler on Trebor. Actually, he said his Traveler is a Rep now. And he knew about my connection to you. In fact, he said it was his job to recruit and manage Dreamers like me to make sure we accomplish our tasks. I ran from him and ended up with another group of people who know about Trebor. Only they fight against people who work to help The Keepers, people like my supervisor.”
Roxal did not know what to say. She had no idea that anything like this was happening on Earth. She assumed that all of the work they were doing was being done without any of Earth’s people knowing about it. Now she found out that not only were there people who knew about Trebor and The Keepers, but that they had formed warring factions both supporting and working against them.
“Where are you now? Are you safe? And what about your mate? Is he safe?”
“Well, I’m safe, for now. I’m being held by the group who says they’re fighting The Keepers. As for Kyle, he knows what I know. He was brought to this group also. He’s been told everything and has decided he wants nothing to do with this. And, nothing to do with me if I decide to remain with them. When I woke up today, he was gone. And I’m sure he’s not coming back.”
“Lauren, I am sorry.” Roxal hugged her again. “I cannot imagine going through what you are going through alone.”
“That’s why I’m here. I was talking about you and felt this urgency to meditate and to see you. I just really needed to see a friendly face.”
“Yes, you needed that, and I was in a dream you had and planted the suggestion for you to connect with me.”
“Really. I guess I didn’t think about it, but just because we can connect while I’m awake doesn’t mean you stopped connecting with me while I’m asleep. Wait. I just realized. If you’re here with me now, does that mean you're asleep and Edo is there beside you? I’m surprised you had the energy to meet with me,” Lauren said and then doubled over with laughter.
Roxal was not sure what was funny so she did not laugh. Instead, she responded, “No, I am not asleep. I decided to see if I could connect with you while I was awake also. And it has worked. I managed to do so accidentally during the explosion, so I wanted to learn to do so intentionally.”
“Wow, so you’re awake, too,” Lauren said, a bit breathless from laughing.
“Yes. Edo took me outside and showed me more of my world. It was exhilarating. But it exhausted me, and I asked to return to our quarters. Edo left to meet with his team.”
“Roxal, what are you doing?” Roxal heard Edo’s voice from outside of the dreamscape with Lauren.
“Edo, I am connecting with Lauren,” she answered. She then said to Lauren, “I must leave now. I hope to meet with you again.”
The Earth woman grabbed her and hugged her once more. “I am so glad you are safe. And that you are with Edo. Take care.”
“Goodbye,” Roxal responded and then began silently counting backwards as she had seen Lauren doing. A doorway appeared for her and she exited the dreamscape.
When she opened her eyes, she was sitting on the sleeping unit and Edo was standing beside it. “You connected with Lauren while you were awake?”
“Yes. I managed to do so accidentally before. This was the first time I connected intentionally while awake.” Roxal stretched and turned to face Edo, so she could be more comfortable as they talked.
“When did you connect with her while you were awake before?” Edo was looking at her intently while she answered.
“When I was being carried away by the Security Force members, I managed to connect to the dreamscape. I was connected to her during the explosion.”
“Did she know what was happening?”
“No. But as a result of us being connected, she developed a medical condition that would not allow her to sleep. During her work with her Earth medics, she learned to connect with me while she was awake. I told her about myself and about Trebor and The Keepers. I even told her about you. Though at the time I thought you were dead.”
Edo sat down on the sleeping unit and faced her. He took her hand, as if he was reassuring her that he was in fact still alive and with her. “Has she healed? Is she able to sleep again?”
“Yes. She was able to sleep again once I healed enough to regain consciousness. In fact, I connected with her last helio while she was asleep. Her dream has helped me realize something. I want to go back and liberate our old compound.” Roxal paused. The weight of what she said settled on her shoulders. “As for Lauren, I wish I could help her. Did you know there are factions on Earth that know about The Keepers? She is currently with a group of people who do not support them. ”
“She is with the Earth Resistors?” Edo asked. He did not seem surprised to know there were people who knew about The Keepers on Earth. It appeared there was much he knew that he had not told her, yet. “The fact that she is with the Earth Resistors, and that the two of you can connect while you both are awake, means we may be able to use you in some of our upcoming plans. I will need to meet with my raiding group and with Rodan. But”—Edo slowly nodded his head as he paused—“I have an idea that might work.”
He looked at Roxal and smiled. Then Edo took her face into his hands and kissed her. This kiss was different from the ones they shared when she first woke up and realized he was still alive. As she kissed him back, it felt like energy was surging through her body. Hairs stood on her arms, and a warmth began to spread from her chest out to her extremities.
He stopped kissing her and held his forehead to hers. “You really want to be here with me?” he asked. His voice trembled slightly.
“Yes,” was all she could reply before he began kissing her again.
He lay down, pulling her with him as he moved. The time for verbal communication was apparently over.
CHAPTER 33
Roxal lay on her side, drifting in and out of a light sleep. The feeling of Edo’s warm bare skin against hers encapsulated her in a cocoon of security. If this were her last moment alive, she would have no regrets.
He shifted behind her, bending to kiss her shoulder. Then he whispered in her ear, “If we want to eat late helio meal, we need to go now before it is over.”
“I would gladly miss last meal to remain here,” Roxal replied. However, her stomach disagreed loudly with her statement.
He laughed and rolled over so that he had her pinned to the sleeping unit. He kissed her again, but stopped before anything further happened. “Your stomach does not appear to be in agreement with you. Besides, you are still healing, and your body needs fuel for that.”
The smile disappeared from her face. “Very well. I will go with you to eat. How long do we have to remain in the dining hall for the meal?”
“Roxal,” he said while laughing, “we do not have to remain any longer than we wish to remain. We are free now. Remember?”
She
smiled, hoping it was enough to convince him that she agreed. It seemed that while he was free, she did not feel that she was because it still felt as though her every move was being scrutinized.
“I guess I am still adjusting,” she replied and then kissed him.
He looked into her eyes once more and then exited the sleeping unit and got dressed. Roxal soon followed and did the same. Once they were clothed, they went to the dining hall for their meal.
When they entered, Roxal noticed there were not as many people present as when she had eaten earlier. Yet it was still the mixed chaotic grouping of people that she had seen previously. Together Roxal and Edo walked through the seated people to the area where food was kept and he helped her choose foods to try. One of the items she made sure to get was more of the soup she had eaten earlier.
When their food and drink selections were completed, Edo led them to a table, where three men and two women were sitting and talking boisterously. Only one of the people at the table was familiar to Roxal.
“Everyone, I would like to introduce my mate, Roxal. Roxal, these are the other members of my raid team.” As Edo spoke, everyone stopped talking and laughing and stared at him. “You should recognize Pruda.” Edo pointed to the woman sitting closest to where they were standing. Roxal did remember her from the day of the explosion. She nodded towards the woman.
“She and I are the only members of this raid team from our old compound. The woman sitting to Pruda’s left is Nawad. The big guy sitting to Nawad’s left is Tano. Across from Tano is Gerig, and to Gerig’s left is Civort. They were all born outside of the compound.”
Roxal nodded to everyone as Edo identified them. Each of the people nodded in response. No one said anything more to Edo or one another. The silence was becoming more and more uncomfortable. Roxal wanted to leave, but she did not want to seem like she was not willing to get to know his new comrades.
“We will allow you two to have this table. We were just leaving,” Pruda said, ending the silence. With that, every one of the people Edo had just introduced to her stood, gathered their eating dishes and utensils, and walked away.
The Heaviness of Knowing Page 23