by Gina Rosati
“So I know this was your idea, but are you sure you’re okay with this?” he asks as the computer finishes powering up. “The good news is I guarantee you we won’t be using those condoms.”
Are YOU okay with this?
He shrugs and nods indifferently.
I roll my eyes at him. Remember when we were about eight and Seth dared us to touch tongues?
Rei smirks. “Yeah, and then you got mad because you dared Seth and me to touch tongues, too, and we wouldn’t.”
No, I got mad because you and Seth have double standards, but that’s not my point. You thought I had cooties and you couldn’t get upstairs to brush your teeth fast enough. What if she wants you to kiss her? Are you sure you want to do this?
Rei considers this. “If I have to kiss her, I’ll just pretend it’s you. I can handle your cooties,” he jokes.
Rei has a hard time handling his own cooties.
I roll my eyes at him some more. Rei, it IS me.
“Anna, you can fill a snail shell with mud, but it doesn’t make it escargot.”
* * *
The doorbell rings at three thirty, and Taylor is waiting expectantly at the door when Rei opens it.
“Okay,” she says as she steps into the house, “let’s try this again.”
What to do, what to do? She doesn’t want to go for a walk; she doesn’t want to work on homework; she doesn’t even want to go to the mall. She wants to talk about Seth’s trial. Nope, Rei doesn’t want to talk about that.
“We’re just going to have to agree to disagree on that,” he says diplomatically.
Then she wants Rei to play his guitar for her. She wants to sit next to him on the porch swing while he plays and tickle his bare feet with hers. He stretches his legs out in front of him so her feet no longer reach his.
Rei plays a few of his acoustic stock songs, some of the classical and new age music he plays whenever his mom has company over and pesters him to play for them. There are no words to any of these songs, but he plays them so beautifully, I could listen for hours. After about fifteen minutes, Taylor starts to fidget. Five minutes later, she asks if he knows any other songs. Anything with words. He strums up and down fast a few times, as if clearing the music away, and then holds his hand over the strings to stop the vibration.
“I know a lot of songs,” Rei says. “I just don’t think you’ll like any of them.”
“Okay,” Taylor stands up, takes the guitar away from him and leans it up against the front door. “Then let’s do something different.”
She comes at him like a barracuda.
I’m kind of torn. Part of me wants to stay here and spy to make sure Taylor doesn’t end up accusing Rei of doing anything worse than trying to survive his first kiss, and part of me wants to go upstairs and let him suffer this humiliation privately.
I decide I’d better stay. Considering what I do know about Taylor, he may need witnesses.
Rei is right. It is so very weird watching him kiss me or more specifically, to watch him being kissed by me. I’m not sure what they’re doing even qualifies as a kiss, really; it’s more like she’s attached my mouth to his face and she’s slowly sucking out his soul. Well, he hasn’t gagged or anything, so she must have at least brushed my teeth.
What must he be thinking right now? He must feel her rise up on one leg and throw her other leg over him like she’s mounting a pony. Yeah, he definitely felt her tush land on his lap and now he looks a little panicky as she inches her way forward. He shifts uncomfortably on the hard wooden swing. God! I feel like such a perverted Peeping Tom!
“Ow!” Rei jerks his head to the side, and her lips trail over to his cheek. “What was … did you pierce your tongue?” He sounds horrified.
Great! What does this make now, eight holes she’s put into my head?
Taylor sticks her tongue out and waggles it playfully to display her new hardware. She makes sexy eyes at him. “I did. Like it?”
“Can you try not to chip my teeth, please?”
She giggles and latches on to his mouth again.
This is just too painful to watch. There are four eggs in the finch’s nest up in the planter hanging from the farmer’s porch. There’s a nearly symmetrical orb spider’s web just under the west side of the porch by the spigot, and there is a neatly wrapped bug, maybe a fly, waiting to be consumed by said spider. There’s a …
“Stop it,” Rei says against her lips.
Now what is she doing? She’s trying to place Rei’s hand in a location that would be convenient should he decide he wants to feel up that relatively flat chest of mine, which he does not. Rei pulls his hand out of her grip and settles it safely on her back.
So, where was I? Oh, yes, there’s a chipmunk living under the porch. Saya and I have been secretly feeding it sunflower seeds, even though …
“Stop it!” Rei says, louder this time, and he pulls his hand back for the umpteenth time.
“Rei, you are so no fun.” She pouts at him while she reaches back and unties the top of the halter, holding the ties together in one hand. While Rei is still recovering from the shock of that, she giggles and with one swift tug, she has Rei’s jeans unbuttoned.
“STOP IT, TAYLOR!”
CHAPTER 28
“What did you just call me?” She is off the swing in an instant, her fingers fumbling with the halter ties. She backs away from him like he’s covered in anthrax.
Rei takes a few seconds to reconfigure his pants before he answers, stalling for time. “I said stop it.”
Taylor shakes her head as she reties her halter. “You son of a bitch,” she hisses. “How long have you known?”
“Anna, I don’t know what you’re…”
“Cut the crap, Rei. What, did you ask me over here just to keep Jason away from your little friend? Nice try.” She spins around and stomps down the steps.
“Wait!” Rei goes after her and puts his hand on her shoulder.
“Don’t you touch me,” she swats his hand away. “Unless you want to end up in jail with your buddy, Seth.”
“Taylor, look, I’m sorry. And I’m sorry you fell, but…”
“I didn’t fall, Rei. I was pushed. By your friend.”
“He didn’t push you, Taylor, and…”
“You don’t know that. You weren’t there.”
“He tried to pull you up.”
“Is that what Anna told you? Or is that what Seth told you? They don’t care that I’m dead. None of you ever cared about me. You all treated me like a leper in this town.”
Rei stops short and stares at her. “Nobody meant to treat you like a leper, Taylor. You and Seth just had nothing in common. But you know he didn’t push you.”
“Oh, he pushed me, all right!”
“Why? What do you gain by putting him in jail for something he didn’t do?”
“He should have given me a chance! If he had just gotten to know me, maybe he would have liked me. Maybe you would have liked me. But you know what? Jason likes me.”
“Well, if you like Jason so much, why didn’t you just go out with him before and leave Seth alone?”
The message in her silence is as clear to me as if she had spoken the words. Jason wouldn’t give Taylor a chance, either. Despite the impression that he’s been hit on the head by a few too many footballs, even he was smart enough to see that Taylor had the potential to ruin a guy’s life. But he was giving Anna a chance, and Taylor would take what she could get.
Her tone is frigid. “If you bother Jason and me again like you did today, I will have you arrested. Again. And if you follow me around, I’ll get a restraining order against you for stalking me. See, Rei, you’ve got another chance to join Seth in jail.”
“Taylor, I don’t care what you do to me. But Anna did nothing to you. Just give her back,” he pleads.
“You want Anna back?” She turns to him with a chilling smile. “Be careful what you wish for, Rei, because I only know one way to leave this body, and you won�
��t like what’s left of Anna if she goes into that waterfall like I did.”
Rei freezes as her threat sinks in.
“Sayonara, Rei. I’ll give your regards to Jason.”
* * *
I don’t know if he wants to be alone or not, but I follow him, making up the rules as I go along. If he wants to be alone, I rationalize he’ll go into his weight room. If he wants to talk to me, he’ll stay in his bedroom. If he rushes into the bathroom to brush his teeth, well, that’s an entirely different issue.
He lies on his bed and I notice the tears pooling in his eyes just before he closes them. I haven’t seen Rei cry since he was eight years old and he broke his leg skiing. Well, falling, actually. Even then, he didn’t cry in fear or pain; in fact, he didn’t cry until Yumi broke the bad news to him that he couldn’t ski for the rest of the winter. He cried in frustration.
I need the good stuff right now. I pull my energy from deep within the universe, and when I’m vibrating at full capacity, I appear and touch his arm so he knows I’m here.
“I’m sorry.” He swallows hard.
We must be the two sorriest people in the universe.
He reads my message and nods.
I’m sick of apologizing for other people, and I’m sick of listening to you apologize for stuff that’s not your fault.
“It is my fault. I screwed up and now she knows I know she’s not you. Did you hear what she said?”
I nod. I heard what she said.
Tissues are light. I stretch to pull one up out of the box and let it ride a current of air over to where Rei sits.
“Thanks.”
Did she at least brush my teeth before she shoved my tongue down your throat?
“Yeah. You were all minty fresh.” He rubs his thumb absently over his front teeth. “She pierced your tongue, you know.”
I heard. How are your teeth?
“Fine.” His sigh could rival a Category 5 hurricane. “I have to keep her away from Jason. She’ll probably do it with him just to get even with me.” He looks about as miserable as I feel with that prospect. “Maybe if I talk to your mom, she’ll tell Taylor she can’t see him anymore.”
Something tells me that would only make Taylor more determined to see him. No, I think Jason should meet the real Anna Rogan if he’s planning to devirginize me in the near future.
I think I should pay our friend Jason a little visit. Can you help me find some good music to play for him?
“What? Why?”
Because I want to scare the crap out of him.
This thought cheers up Rei considerably. “Seriously? What’s more important, music or lyrics?”
Big guitars. Lots of bass. And dark and disturbing lyrics would be helpful.
“Come on,” he says. “I keep all my lyrics in here.” He rolls off his bed and opens the door to (gasp!) The Weight Room!
The only time I’ve been in this room, it was dark. The view from outside the window is different once I’m actually in here. It’s a room. After all the mystery, I’m almost disappointed. It’s big: the size of the two-car garage downstairs. It’s tastefully decorated with oatmeal-colored carpet, off-white walls, and bamboo shades over the windows. There are his weights and weight bench near the door. There’s a black canvas futon, and his favorite toy, his sleek and shiny black Ibanez electric guitar, sitting on a stand next to a rather impressive-looking amplifier that I know for a fact can be heard all the way across our yards and into my bedroom if he is so inclined.
The computer is back in Rei’s bedroom, so I just mouth Wow! and raise my eyebrows like this is the coolest room I’ve ever seen.
In the corner by the window where the sunlight divides into shadows cast by the willow’s lacy foliage, there’s a low table where several partially melted white candles sit on a tray and a pillow that’s shaped like a mushroom cap is pushed to the side of the wall. I put two and two together and decide this must be where Rei meditates. I flit over and point.
“Yeah, I figured you’d have some wiseass comment about that. Why do you think I never let you in here before?”
I frown. I thought it was because I told him he looked constipated when he lifted weights. But then again, I do have a hard time picturing Rei sitting cross-legged on this pillow chanting “om.” I readjust my vision: get rid of his shirt, lose the “om,” the mushroom pillow has to go, too. Much better.
“My mom got that pillow for me—I never use it. And no,” he says defensively, “I don’t say ‘om’ either, just so you know.”
I wish I had the computer here so I could tell him I love that he meditates. I love the serenity that flows from him, and I miss it this week. He’s disappeared in here a few times, but I don’t think he’s spent much time charging up his positive vibes. It makes me sad to know he feels self-conscious about meditating.
“Okay, so what are you looking for … power metal, thrash metal, speed metal, Goth metal, punk metal, black metal, death metal…”
I nod vigorously.
“Death metal?”
Yes, that sounds perfect.
“Sure.” He pulls a plastic file bin out from under an end table and riffles through until he comes up with a file marked Death Metal. Okay, that type of organizational attentiveness is scary in itself.
“What looks good?” he asks as he spreads the papers all over the floor.
I find a band whose lyrics are all equally disturbing, and Rei assures me the guitars are plenty big enough to get my point across to Jason. “Right this way,” he says as he leads me back to his bedroom where he pulls up YouTube on his computer.
“You want dark and disturbing?” Rei asks. “Here you go.”
I smile at him as the room begins to vibrate. Perfect.
* * *
Five minutes later, I’m in Jason Trent’s bedroom, which is just as disgusting as he is, especially the stained sheets on his unmade bed. Is Rei the only guy who ever washes his sheets? There’s a vaguely disagreeable odor hanging in the room, like a combination of sweaty socks and sour milk. He does have a very nice desktop computer he’s left online, so it’s just a matter of pulling up YouTube and searching for my dark and disturbing music video. I turn up the volume as loud as it will go, so when he runs into his room with a puzzled look on his face to see why his speakers are about to detonate, he gets a nice surprise.
Me!
Parked here next to his computer, I look as solid as any flesh-and-blood girl. For a moment, his little blue button eyes register confusion, and I can almost see the thought bubble float out of his head with the word “huh?” printed across it. He looks at the window for a second as though he’s trying to figure out how I got into his room. What a dolt! Maybe if I float toward him and let myself fade a bit.…
He screams bloody murder and bolts out of the door, tripping down the last few stairs in his hurry.
I leave the video playing and bounce back to Rei’s.
“That was fast!”
He screamed and ran away. Am I really that scary?
Rei laughs for the first time in a while. “I’m afraid to answer that.”
CHAPTER 29
There are strange people in and out of school all day on Wednesday. The police search Seth’s locker and they find the crumpled note, which they carefully place in a plastic evidence bag and label. While they are in there, they look through the rest of his possessions, which are mostly schoolbooks, tattered spiral notebooks, pencil stubs, and a plastic bag containing a moldy sandwich featuring some unidentifiable meat and a rancid odor which is much more noticeable now that it’s been unearthed from the pile of stuff.
Someone decided it would be easier for the attorneys to come to the high school to talk with any students they want statements from rather than the other way around. There are a few empty classrooms set aside, and parents are required to be present during questioning. Annaliese Rogan is excused from her P.E. class so the district attorney can question her. My mom meets her at the classroom and listens while
Taylor gives her version of events, complete with hand gestures, gasps, and dramatic facial expressions. She is amazingly consistent with her story, and the district attorney grins like the village idiot as he jots down notes.
He looks entirely too happy.
I decide my presence is required. I drift to the top of the file cabinet behind her and my mom, and surge into view. He stops smiling abruptly.
“What? Did I say something wrong?” Taylor asks as soon as she notices his frozen stare.
“No, no, nothing is wrong. So, um, you were saying something about her shirt?”
“Yes!” Taylor says. “He grabbed it with both of his hands and ripped it wide open! It looked like he was planning to rape her!”
I roll my eyes and shake my head no.
The district attorney looks at me, then at Taylor, and marks something down on his paper.
“And when she resisted him, he grabbed her by the wrist and dragged her over to the edge!”
I shake my head again, and the district attorney looks from Taylor to me. Taylor spins around to look behind her, but I vanish before she can see me. My mother seems to realize that if she stays very quiet and doesn’t turn around, she’ll get back to work sooner.
“I see. And, um, you said something about his wrist?”
“Yes! She tried so hard to fight him off, she clawed at his wrist, but he was just too strong.”
I materialize again and shake my head. He has a phony little smile glued onto his face as he makes more notes.
I drift up to the chalkboard which, like most chalkboards, has a layer of chalk dust on it. My letters are so faint, you would have to know I was writing to notice them.
She lies.
I look back to make sure the district attorney sees what I’ve written. He does. He looks me straight in the eyes and I see question marks where his pupils should be. I let myself dissolve slowly, leaving the ghostly letters on the chalkboard as the only proof I was there.
* * *
Rei gets pulled out of his fourth period chemistry class to talk to the attorneys, and his story never wavers. He takes the opportunity to enlighten Seth’s attorney about the memory issues “Anna” has been having since her bump on the head and her out-of-character behavior, including her tattoo. He also mentions the note the police found in Seth’s locker, since the rumor about the police visit has circulated through the school as fast as the rancid odor from Seth’s sandwich.