by Dara Girard
"But it's no surprise. The Originals pride themselves on being warriors, right?"
Beverly frowned. "You should give Durand more credit."
Janet shrugged. "He gives himself plenty."
"I don't think so. He has sad eyes."
"No, he doesn't." Janet's voice cracked with astonishment. "His eyes are as hard as steel."
Beverly shook her head then stared out at the lake.
* * *
Frederick worked on his laptop but couldn't focus. After dinner, everyone decided to watch TV, but he was too restless to join in. So he sat to the side staring at the screen, but seeing nothing.
"You're supposed to be on vacation," Jeffrey said when Frederick refused to join them.
"I have a few people I have to respond to."
He needed the work to occupy his mind, but it wasn't working. His thoughts still entertained hopes and desires he wanted to repress. He liked Janet more than he wanted to. He was infatuated. The cadence of her voice had become the sweetest sound; her eyes like sunlight. When she looked at him, he felt tongue-tied. He was a fool. She was all wrong for him, but his thoughts didn't care, so he kept his distance.
Unfortunately, he couldn't stop watching her. He watched her when she played with Milton when she thought no one was looking; as she helped chop vegetables or made potato pancakes with Abigail, or pulled weeds with Les in the garden. He remembered catching her looking at his Blackberry. She'd thought she was alone in the room and had rushed over to the table where he'd left it, her slender fingers sliding across the tiny keys.
When he entered the room, she'd turned around and stared at him looking guilty. "I was just looking," she said in a rush. "I didn't turn it on or anything."
"That's okay." He picked it up and held it out to her. "Would you like me to show you how it works?"
"No." She backed away from him. "That's all right I've satisfied my curiosity." She dashed out of the room.
He impatiently drummed his fingers on the wrist rest remembering his disappointment. There were a lot of things he wanted to show her. He wondered how much of her sheltered existence had prepared her for the world. But that didn't matter. It couldn't. Their lives were too different. He was just bored. He needed to work.
He wanted to return to Hamsford.
Janet wanted to return too. On the day of their departure she hugged Abigail and Les then took her seat next to the window, eager to go home. Tanya was equally ready to go because she'd run out of her favorite moisturizer. Karen sat beside her eager to return home so that she could have all of Frederick's attention again. Only Jeffrey and Beverly seemed reluctant to leave. Abigail watched the SUV drive away wondering if she'd ever see them all together again.
* * *
"Well what happened?" Mrs. Barnett asked upon her daughters' return. They all sat around the dinner table and everyone looked at Janet and Beverly eager for answers. Janet began to share their activities but her mother waved that away. "I meant what progress have you made?"
"I don't think I've made any progress."
"You must have. You had nearly a week."
"Dee-dee, I—"
"Never mind. The next few weeks will likely seal the deal."
Brother Jerome came to visit the next day with a bouquet of flowers for Beverly. He stayed for dinner and spent the entire evening declaring how happy he was that she had healed completely.
That evening Janet lay in bed strangely thrilled to be back home among the noise of her sisters and her mother's questions. Although the lake house had been a brief escape the company had been wearisome and she was glad to be away from them. She was about to turn off her bedside lamp when she heard muttering next door. She knew that Beverly didn't sleep with the radio on. Curious, Janet grabbed her robe and walked barefoot to her sister's room. She gasped when a sharp, metal object bit into the bottom of her foot. She hopped around on one leg and removed it. It was an earring. Mrs. Lind must have lost it while cleaning. Janet gingerly put her foot down then dropped the earring in her robe pocket. She looked up and saw a faint light seeping from her sister's bedroom.
Janet stood in the doorway and saw it came from the glow of a candle. Beverly kneeled before it, with her head lowered and covered by a scarf. She held her hands together in prayer, words rushing from her lips.
"Beverly?"
She didn't turn and the flood of words continued to flow.
Janet came closer. "What's wrong?"
Beverly turned to her, her eyes bright with fear. "Do you ever think about burning in hell?"
Chapter 16
Janet shut the door, making sure not to close it completely, so that their voices wouldn't carry. She flipped on the light switch and they squinted against the sudden glare. "What are you talking about?"
"I've been thinking about hell."
"Why?"
"I don't want to marry Brother Jerome."
Janet sank into the bed with relief. "I don't think you'll go to hell for that."
Beverly pushed the scarf from her head in a swift angry motion. "Don't make fun of me."
Janet blinked, taken aback. "I'm not."
She softened her tone. "I know. I'm sorry." She wrung her hands together. "It's awful."
"I know," Janet agreed with vehemence. "The thought of you and that man—"
Beverly shook her head. "No, that's not what I meant. My feelings are awful. It's all been arranged. This marriage will help us so much. Our parents are depending on me. Dee-dee has always wanted us to marry well."
"Jeffrey's rich."
Beverly stood, placing her fingers to her lips. "Quiet. You mustn't say his name."
"Why not?"
Beverly sat beside Janet. "Because you shouldn't speak with such certainty about things that you're unsure of."
"I'm certain about your feelings for him and his feelings for you."
Beverly looked hopeful. "Has he told you anything?"
"No." When she saw her sister's face crumbled, she quickly added. "But I've seen the way he looks at you."
"A gentle look is not a confession of love or a proposal."
"But—"
"I know he likes me as he always has, but that doesn't mean he wants to marry me."
"A man can be encouraged. I don't know how, but I'm sure there's a way. You should have seen his face when that train was coming towards you. He would have given his life for you."
"Durand was there too."
Janet scowled. "Durand doesn't count."
"He had the knife that cut me free."
"Most savages have knives. I won't give him credit for that."
"You're being spiteful."
"Yes, if he can accuse me of having a dirty mind I can accuse him of being a savage."
"Despite his money and education?"
"He is clever and resourceful, but he is still arrogant and condescending."
"And he saved my life."
"Yes," Janet said in a terse voice, not wishing to reflect on it. "but we're not discussing him. You love Jeffrey."
"I can't admit it."
"You don't have to."
Beverly knelt in front of the candle again and replaced her scarf. She gripped her hands in prayer. "God forgive me. I am a selfish, miserable creature. God please change my heart or take my life."
Janet blew the candle out and lifted Beverly to her feet. "Don't say that. It's going to be okay."
Beverly yanked her arm away. "How can it be okay?" Her voice shook. "I am the eldest. I am supposed to bring my family honor. Be a source of pride. Mother Shea said she saw it in a vision."
"I know."
"And father said it's God's will."
"I know."
"And Dee-dee said it's the answer to all her prayers."
"I know that too, but I'm sure they all want you to be happy."
"By shaming them? By spitting in the eye of God? You don't really believe that."
Janet hesitated then sighed. "No."
Beverly grabbed the front collar of
her nightgown, her knuckles pale. "I have no choice. This is my fate. I must accept it." She turned to the window her voice flat and as weak as a decayed oak tree. "Yes, I will bear it."
"You do have a choice."
"Perhaps I did something horrible in my past and this is God's punishment."
Janet stepped in front of her. "No."
"Yes, you're right." She squared her shoulders. "I shouldn't indulge in self-pity. God is wise. Brother Jerome will provide us with all that we need," she said as tears gathered in her eyes.
Beverly's misery threatened to crush Janet's heart like a steel weight, shattering it to pieces. But when she saw her sister put the candle away resigned, anger began to build then morphed into defiance. "You will not marry Brother Jerome," she said with such ferocity it surprised them both.
Beverly looked at Janet unsure. "But—"
"I will fix things for you."
"How?"
Janet didn't know and part of her regretted making such a bold promise, but the glint of hope on her sister's face gave her courage. "I'm not sure, but I'll think of something."
"Janet, you can't afford to get into anymore trouble. I can't let you risk it. If you fail—"
"I won't fail."
"We've seen what disobedience can do to a family."
"Everything will be fine. Now sleep."
Beverly hesitated then climbed into bed. Janet turned off the light and left the room. Once she reached the hallway she sank against the wall and whispered. "God help me."
God didn't hear her. Janet woke up the next morning with no ideas. However, she gave her sister a smile of reassurance at breakfast and again told her that everything would work out as Beverly headed for work. Her sister gave her a fierce hug then left in high spirits. Janet's spirits plummeted. She barely paid attention in class and nearly missed a lecture she'd signed up for. Back at home she met Mrs. Lind in the kitchen. "Oh, I found your earring," she said placing the object on the table. "I had it in my pocket this morning but forgot to give it to you."
Mrs. Lind glanced at the earring then shook her head. "Dat isn't mine."
"But it has to be, none of us have pierced ears."
"That may be true, but it still isn't mine."
Janet lifted the earring and studied it. "But it was upstairs, if it's not yours then..." She gripped it in her hand a feeling of dread twisting her insides. "But it can't be." She glanced at Mrs. Lind but the other woman's face remained expressionless. Janet left the kitchen and paced the living room until she heard the front door slam. She ran to the foyer and saw Francine hanging up her coat.
"Where're Maxine and Trudy?"
"At the market, Dee-dee told them to pick up some things. Why?"
"No reason." Janet forced a smile so that Francine wouldn't suspect anything. "Did you have a good day at school?" She folded her arms trying to appear casual, although the tiny earring in her pocket felt like a large boulder.
"Oh yes," Francine said eager to share the events of her day. She led Janet into the family room and told her about every subject and even included what she'd eaten at lunch. Janet listened trying to appear interested. Twenty minutes later she heard the front door slammed and two female voices.
"He was not!"
"Yes, he was!"
Janet met Maxine and Trudy in the foyer. "What is going on?"
Maxine spoke up. "At the market there was this man."
Janet frowned. "You're not supposed to be talking to strange men."
"We had to," Maxine said as though her sister was slow witted. "He's just opened his craft stand and he carries the most beautiful scarves and I wanted to buy one. So I asked him which would look perfect on me."
"And I also asked him which one would look good on me," Trudy interjected.
Janet rested a hand on her hip. "So what are you fighting about?"
"Which one of us he liked better. I know he liked me better because look what he suggested I buy." Maxine pulled her scarf out of her backpack.
Trudy also took out her scarf. "And me. I think mine's a lot prettier."
Janet didn't like either, but looking at them suddenly gave her an idea. "Francine, I'm sorry I kept you. I'm sure you'd like to complete your homework before dinner."
"Oh yes." She left.
Janet turned her attentions to the scarves. "I think you'll both look wonderful. On campus I saw this very stylish woman wearing one just like this. Do you want me to show you how she wore it?"
"Oh yes," they said.
She took them upstairs to their bedroom then ordered Maxine to sit. "She wore it in her hair," Janet explained. She then folded the scarf and used it to pull Maxine's hair into a ponytail. Janet stumbled back the moment she saw what she'd feared. Maxine had pierced her ears.
"Well, how do I look?" Maxine asked then frowned when she saw the look on her sister's face. "What?"
Janet leaned forward and tugged on Maxine's ear. "When did you do this?"
Maxine quickly covered her ears then glanced at Trudy. Janet turned to her and pulled back Trudy's hair. She also wore two studded earrings.
"Maxine did it first," she said in a small voice.
"And if Maxine does something you have to do it too," Janet said in a low grim tone. She pointed to the place next to Maxine. "Sit down."
Trudy scurried over to the bed.
Janet stared at them stunned. "What were you thinking?"
Maxine shrugged and removed the scarf so her hair would cover her ears. "We just wanted to try it. There was this girl at school who said there was a really cheap place you could get your ears pierced."
"You're not supposed to get your ears pierced."
"Mrs. Lind has pierced ears."
"Mrs. Lind isn't in the church."
"Neta has her ears pierced," she said referring to a young woman in their church.
"Sister Gordon lets Neta wear jewelry. We can't."
"But Neta—"
"Doesn't live in this house. This is Daddy's house."
"It's no big deal," Maxine grumbled.
"Is that so?" Janet turned to the door. "Then let me go get Daddy right now."
Both girls jumped up and grabbed her arms. "No!"
"We're sorry," Maxine said.
"Very sorry," Trudy said.
"We thought it would be fun."
Janet sent them a look and they sank back onto the bed. She folded her arms not knowing what to say. She understood the temptation, especially when other young girls in the church had fathers who were more lenient. Fathers who allowed pierced ears and some makeup. She too had imagined piercing her ears the moment she left the house. Years ago she'd tried colored lip gloss, but had removed it before coming home.
"I know it's difficult, but while you live under this roof you must respect Daddy's rules."
"He'll never find out," Trudy said. "We only wear them to school and not to church. You can't tell anyone."
Janet held out her hand. "Give me your earrings."
Both girls pulled them out and handed them to her.
"Is that all?"
"No," Trudy said.
"Yes," Maxine said.
Janet frowned and kept her hand held out. Maxine sent Trudy a look then sighed and reluctantly retrieved her other earrings, which she'd kept hidden in a drawer.
Janet clenched her teeth when Maxine gave her four more pairs. She closed her hand. "I won't say a word." She held up her fist. "This time."
The two girls kissed her on the cheek. "Thank you, thank you."
"You're welcome."
Maxine draped the scarf on her head and tied a knot under her chin. "I think I'll wear it like this. Now all I need are sunglasses to look like a movie star."
Trudy imitated her. "Me too."
Janet watched them. "That's fine, just promise to behave yourselves."
The two girls turned to her with their heads covered and smiled looking as pious and innocent as postulants. "We will."
Janet left their bedroom wishin
g she believed them.
Chapter 17
"So you enjoyed yourself at the lake house?" Mr. Barnett asked, looking through Janet's sketches as they sat in his study. He would never admit how much he'd missed her and how glad he was to have her home again.
"Yes."
"It is a grand place," he said studying the details she'd been able to capture. One day he wanted to own a big house on a lake and be able to take his family there on holidays. He glanced at Janet who wore a sweater that was over eight years old with the knitting unraveling at the hem. One day he would like to afford her, his wife and his other daughters, fine clothes. Newly purchased and not from the thrift shop.
"How is Brother Jeremiah?" Janet asked.
"Doing very well. I told him about seeking counsel and he did. He's set up a monthly payment with the customer until the balance is paid. In the meantime, Pastor Wainwright advanced him a portion of what he was owed from the church's emergency funds. So Bessie will be pleased. He will repay the church once he is paid."
"Good." She hesitated. "I don't think Maxine and Trudy should go to the market without Francine."
"Why not? You went there at their age."
"I know, but there are certain market men there."
"They won't bother my daughters. Everyone knows that the Barnett girls are to be left alone." He closed the sketchbook and leaned forward. "But something is troubling you. You've been quiet since your return. What's wrong?"
Janet wrung her hands together. "I don't know if I can tell you—"
He fell back and threw out his hands. "Of course you can tell me. If you can't tell your father, who can you tell?"
She cleared her throat. "I have a friend who's unhappy."
"Is it Valerie?"
"No, it's someone else."
He sat up alarmed. "Who could it be? What other friends do you have? I should know who your friends are."
She sighed. "Maybe friend is the wrong word. She's an acquaintance and she told me a problem but I don't know how to help her. A problem so bad it keeps her awake at night."
"She can't sleep? Is she having nightmares?"
Janet suddenly looked thoughtful. "Yes, terrible nightmares. That's the problem."
"If she's having trouble with her dreams she should go to Mother Shea. She can help interpret them for her."