Three
Lilly Castle didn’t enjoy being a mother. She considered baby Phyllis a grumpy child and once everyone had admired the child and congratulated the mother, she soon grew tired of soothing and rocking and feeding and changing. She was shocked to learn that her mother expected her to wash the napkins as well as the baby clothes. She soon had that organised.
Inviting Phil’s mother to visit her granddaughter at the time when she was starting on these unpleasant tasks, resulted in Mrs Denver dealing with it under the pretence of showing her how. This became a regular daily routine, something of which Marged and Huw were unaware, so they constantly told people how proud they were of the way their daughter had settled into motherhood and all its exhaustive activities.
Everyone gave her advice and she ignored it all. She found that walking Phyllis around the block in her pram encouraged her to sleep and although the constant walking was tiring for someone like Lilly who had spent much of the past months sitting around being waited on, she found it less exhausting than trying to sit down and ignore the cries.
Mrs Denver went out with her when she was able and her gentle face wore an expression of such pride and happiness. Lilly felt momentary guilt at the way she was using her to do the tasks she hated. Only momentarily: the thought of a bucket filled with napkins soon made common sense prevail!
Walking down the road towards the beach one day and following a different route, they found themselves in a neighbourhood Lilly rarely visited. To their alarm several women came out and began calling Lilly unpleasant names.
‘Fancy one of the posh Castles being so brazen.’
‘Stupid you are, as well as a snob.’
‘Got what you deserved, didn’t you, tart?’
‘Stuck-up lot! How did you explain this to your gormless father, then? Thinks you found it under a gooseberry bush, does he?’
The words ‘disgusting’ and ‘shameful’ were repeated until Lilly couldn’t take any more. Grabbing the pram from Mrs Denver she ran, leaving the old lady to fend for herself. She was crying when Mrs Denver caught up with her, unable to see for the huge tears in her eyes.
‘How can anyone hate a baby,’ she sobbed.
‘Don’t let them upset you, dear, some of them haven’t the right to criticise a decent young girl like you. Husbands in the forces, they have, and the way they carry on, several of them will have some explaining to do when the men get home, for sure.’
They hurried home, Lilly convinced that she would never step outside the door ever again. She had been so sheltered by her loving family and spoilt into believing that everyone was the same, that it had been a shock to discover how unkind people could be. Any criticism she had previously encountered had been innuendo or sarcasm and it had not registered. Subtle insults had missed their mark completely. Lilly was so used to doing what she wanted and used to the family accepting her behaviour, whatever she did or didn’t do.
‘They said such awful things. As if I chose for Philip to die and leave me to look after his baby,’ she sobbed. ‘They were really unkind.’
‘Plenty of that I’ve had in my time,’ Mrs Denver told her. ‘You get hardened to it after a while. Ran out on me, that’s what my man did, and bringing up Philip on my own started the tongues wagging wherever I went. They didn’t stop to gather the facts, just made up their own explanations and spread them. Get used to it, you will.’
Lilly wasn’t so sure. If only she could run away. But having to work and earn enough to keep herself and her baby was impossible. She’d just stay at home, except when she went somewhere with her mam and dad. No one would be rude to Marged or Huw.
* * *
Joseph watched Lilly and Mrs Denver hurrying back to Sidney Street and mused on the unfairness of life. Lilly would not be the only young woman to have a fatherless child. Mrs Denver wouldn’t be the only mother to lose her only son. He was stuck in a loveless, hopeless marriage that would drag on and on without a chance of a better future.
Life had been so full of hope when he was younger. He had been fortunate enough to have parents who could afford for him to have a good education and when he reluctantly left college he settled into a position as the manager of a hotel in Cardiff.
He did less and less work, delegation being his favourite word, and when the organisation fell apart due to lack of control he frantically blamed others, causing two men and a young woman to lose their jobs without a reference. Then as the truth of his laziness had become clear, he had been ignominiously sacked.
He now worked as a clerk in a food store and, apart from the hours spent at work, did little else. Mrs Beynon looked after her only son devotedly and he had only to ask for something for it to appear. Soiled shirts were discarded and miraculously reappeared washed and immaculately ironed. She even allowed him to keep his wages and offered extra money when he had the need.
It was when his father became ill and the prospect of managing without his parents when they grew old and died that made him decide to find a wife. Before that he was too lazy to think further than the next meal presented to him and the clean clothes stacked neatly in his bedroom drawers.
He had met and married Dolly after meeting her at a dance. Neither were keen on dancing and they had rarely gone after their first meeting. Their courtship was brief and Dolly had arranged to move in with Joseph and his parents. Life would have continued in the same way, his mother teaching his wife how to care for him for the foreseeable future, and for Joseph that was perfect.
Unfortunately, just before their wedding his bride had been taken ill and was now confined to bed almost permanently. Now he was faced with the prospect of caring for Dolly and his parents. Why had life treated him so unfairly, he wondered gloomily.
When she was no longer able to go out, Dolly had been very understanding. She told him she didn’t mind him going out and having fun, but she made him promise not to get serious about another woman. She begged him to swear never to leave her for someone else. ‘Have fun, look, but don’t touch’ was his interpretation of her permission to go out and about.
* * *
Eirlys didn’t know how she felt about visiting her father and Teresa and the three boys again. She knew the reason for her father asking her to come home was to get her blessing on his marriage to Teresa, but how could she give it? On the other hand, why should she not? It was her father’s life and he had to live it the way he chose; she hadn’t the right to insist on his staying single. However she felt about it, he was a free man. If only it was someone other than Teresa Love.
She was comforted by the knowledge that he asked for her approval and knew she would have been more hurt if he had not, but she still couldn’t tell him it was all right. Visions of her returning to the house unexpectedly so soon after the death of her mother to find him in bed with Teresa still caused pain. Until that vision faded how could she welcome Teresa as her stepmother? She simply had to stay away.
‘No, Ken,’ she said when he reminded her of her intention to go with him to St David’s Well, ‘I can’t come, not this time.’
Ken left for St David’s Well alone. While he was there he heard Shirley and Janet sing and he was impressed. He telephoned Eirlys and told her.
‘It isn’t just getting the words right and hitting the right notes,’ he explained. ‘There has to be real energy to make a song work and the singer has to involve the listener and touch their emotions.’
Eirlys was pleased for them. She wasn’t a close friend of Shirley but it was always good to hear of success.
A week later, while Ken was still away, an emergency happened at her office and in the absence of her boss she dealt with it. She was pleased with the way she handled it and in her mind imagined how pleased Mr Johnston or Mr Gifford would have been in similar circumstances, so it was a surprise when she was called into the manager’s office and reprimanded.
One of the girls had cut her hand badly and after sending someone with her to the hospital, Eirlys had asked a gi
rl who worked mornings only, to stay for the afternoon. The work was different from that usually handled by the part-time assistant and she had sent wrong information to one of the local suppliers of office equipment.
Eirlys realised quickly what had happened and had rectified the matter in her usual efficient way but her manager had been furious.
‘You take too much upon yourself, Miss Price,’ he began. ‘I’m afraid we’ll have to move you to a different position where you can’t do any more harm.’
Eirlys stared at him in utter disbelief. How could they complain when she had dealt with everything so sensibly? Again her thoughts flew to Mr Johnston who always praised the way she used her initiative.
‘We were short-handed and there was work to complete so I used my initiative,’ she said, using the word as Mr Johnston would have done. ‘I expected you to be pleased.’
‘Initiative is not for office girls, Miss Price, and please don’t forget it,’ the man said firmly. He handed her a piece of paper detailing her new position and its lower wage. ‘You can go home now. Come back on Monday, nine o’clock promptly, and report to Miss Pool.’
Stunned by the events of the past few minutes, she stumbled back to her desk, collected her belongings and left the building. She was stinging with embarrassment and a pall of homesickness covered her like an invisible shroud.
The weather was perfect: a warm gentle breeze, a blue sky and bright sun, the war-tom buildings a backdrop hardly noticed as people became accustomed to the awesome sight. The brightly dressed office and shop girls walked to the park to eat their lunch and she followed, needing to sit and think about what had just happened.
The grass was scattered with cheerful groups of men and women. Laughter filled the warm summer air and floated towards her. Small groups of baby birds fluttered their feathers urgently, to attract the attention of their parents in the hope of food. An errand boy was whistling as he edged his bicycle between men at work mending a water main near the park gates. She saw none of these things: all she could think of were the words of her boss and his pompous criticism. With a few days off and a new position to start on the following Monday she had been virtually sacked!
When she reached home some hours later there was a letter waiting for her. It was from Beth Castle asking her to come to her wedding on the following Saturday. Beth and Peter Gregory had explained the difficulty of arranging their wedding in advance. It would happen as soon as Peter managed to get home for a few days, by special licence. When Beth added the request for Eirlys to be a witness, she could hardly refuse. She packed a bag and two days later, on 9 May, she caught the train and went home.
* * *
While Eirlys was travelling through Swindon. Beth received a message from Peter: his leave was cancelled, the wedding would have to wait a while longer. Hiding her disappointment, Beth went to the station to meet the train she expected Eirlys to have caught.
‘The wedding’s delayed,’ she said as cheerfully as she could, ‘so what shall we do? I’ve got the whole weekend off.’
Seeing that sympathy was not the right approach, Eirlys said. ‘Cardiff for some shopping? A walk in Roath Park? Then a meal in some café, if we can find one that doesn’t serve chips?’ Laughing, they went to Sidney Street, where Eirlys had arranged to stay with Beth’s Auntie Audrey and Uncle Wilf and the two young girls, Maude and Myrtle, to deposit Eirlys’s case.
She made a brief visit to her home but there was no one in. She looked with dismay at the untidy garden and at the muddy area where her father was obviously trying to make a vegetable plot from what had once been a lawn. It had always been so neat and now it was filled with broken toys and abandoned rubbish. She sadly recognised her old doll’s pram which her mother had put in the loft, hoping one day to see it used by a grandchild. Its wheels were missing and the side dented and scratched.
The first person she saw when she and Beth alighted on to the platform in Cardiff Central was her ex-boss Mr Johnston. That he was pleased to see her was in no doubt. ‘Eirlys! Does this mean you’re back in St David’s Well? Your job is still waiting for you, you know.’
‘How are you all?’ she asked, ignoring what she thought was nothing more than politeness. Pushed along by the impatient passengers they edged slowly towards the exit steps.
‘In need of your organisation skills, we are, Miss Price. We’ve tried three girls in an attempt to fill your vacancy but we’ve yet to find someone half as efficient as you.’
She was smiling in a deprecating way and he looked at her. ‘I am serious, Miss Price. If you would consider coming back you’d be welcomed with great sighs of relief all round. A better salary too,’ he said, and Eirlys realised he was serious.
‘Can I telephone you at the office on Monday?’ she asked, although the idea fizzing in her head was far from a definite decision.
Mr Johnston took a piece of paper from his pocket and wrote down the number. ‘In case you’ve forgotten,’ he said, smiling.
As he walked away with a polite lifting of his trilby she turned to Beth and was surprised at the wide smile on her friend’s face. ‘Eirlys, I’d be so pleased if you came back.’
‘It’s strange, Beth, but if I’d had that brief conversation a week ago my answer would have been different,’ she said. Then she explained about the undeserved ticking-off she had received the day before.
Although she was so near, Eirlys didn’t try to visit her father again during that weekend. Every time she decided to go home she felt her heart racing with anxiety, and changed her mind. On the train going back to London there was a great deal to think about if she were to return home, top of the list being how she would deal with her father. Second was having to face Johnny and Hannah, see them regularly and be happy for them without allowing a tinge of regret to show.
That brief conversation with her ex-boss had given her a greater sense of her own worth and she knew that going back and giving her notice would not be the worry it might have been. The criticism that had knocked her confidence so badly had now been overlaid with the realisation of other people’s better opinion of her and this had given her strength.
Third on her list of things to consider, was where would she live? Not at home with Morgan and Teresa, that much was certain. Tired, and becoming less rather than more sure of her plans, she dozed until the train reached Paddington, then freshened her make-up, combed her hair and prepared to face the rest of the tedious journey back to Ken’s family. They would have to be the first to be told of her leaving. At the same time she would write to Ken.
That night one of the worst air raids of the war took place in London. Over five hundred German bombers dropped hundreds of bombs and thousands of incendiaries in a short but horrifying raid. More than a thousand people died. Westminster was hit and the House of Commons was reduced to a shambles. In all this devastation, the people of London proudly said that the dome of St Paul’s survived and Big Ben continued to chime the hours correctly. It was a symbol, they said, of the determination of the British people not to be bowed or beaten.
Eirlys looked at the photographs the following day and wondered how the place would ever recover, until she read the comments of the people. She knew then that whatever happened, London would survive.
For a while, running away seemed her real reason for returning to the comparative safety of St David’s Well, but only for a while. The danger from bombs was greater here, but what she had run away from at home was far harder to deal with, she decided. But deal with it she would.
* * *
Hetty worked alongside Bleddyn more often as the summer season began to build up. More and more visitors arrived to enjoy the pleasant beach and the many amusements the town offered. With holidays at home a serious commitment on behalf of the council, many new and enterprising entertainments were appearing.
Dancing on the Green was popular when the weather allowed, but with the black-out to remember the dances finished when the musicians could no longer see their musi
c, the lights snapping off without warning as the wardens began their nightly prowl. Competitions abounded, with skipping and whip and top and even hopscotch coming into their own. The skating rink and the swimming pool were full from the moment they opened until the evening, and the dance hall filled any spare moments with tea dances and even tap and ballet displays from the town’s children.
Crowds materialised for every event advertised and the place groaned as all available rooms were filled to capacity. Every train that steamed into the small seaside station brought more visitors, some for the day and others hoping to find accommodation for a longer visit.
‘So much for persuading people to stay home,’ Huw grunted to anyone who would listen. ‘Damn silly idea expecting people to stay home and miss all that this place has to offer.’
With Marged and Beth dealing with the beach café, and because of the demise of his usual boat trips around the bay due to anti-invasion blockades in the sea, Bleddyn concentrated on the fish-and-chip shop and restaurant in the town. Whenever she was able, Hetty Downs helped him.
She still hadn’t made much progress in her attempt to make friends with Maude and Myrtle. Maude was now almost sixteen and worked in the canteen of the munitions factory. At thirteen, her sister Myrtle was still at school. They both helped out on the sands at every opportunity, Myrtle much happier now she was confident with handling money and had lost some of her shyness. It was only rarely that either girl appeared at the fish-and-chip café in town and when they did, Bleddyn stepped back and encouraged Hetty to deal with whatever they needed.
One day Maude called in on her way home from work when they were just starting to heat the dripping ready to cook. Hetty went to see what the girl wanted and Maude stepped back. She was still unsure of the woman who had been married to her father and who had treated her so coldly when they had first met.
Holidays at Home Omnibus Page 66