Beth took her brother his morning cup of tea and was promised a few apples for herself.
‘Thanks. I’ll take them to Hannah for Marie and Josie,’ she said at once.
Besides the regular clientele of shoppers who stopped for a rest and a meeting with friends, the market stall-holders looked to Janet’s café for lunch as well as their morning tea and toast, and afternoon tea with a piece of cake. When she was there, this was Myrtle’s job and the thirteen-year-old squeezed through the shoppers with a loaded tray, calling for them to ‘make way’, delivering to each stall. Janet collected the money at the end of each week.
For Shirley to leave the newsagent was different. Unless her mother could be persuaded to take over for the day she would have to plead illness and she didn’t like tempting fate by pretending her health was anything but robust. Her mother worked for the Castle family, mostly in the chip shop in the town. It opened all the year round and was a café as well as selling fish and chips over the counter. As their friendship had grown, Bleddyn had come to depend on her for help.
Hetty was working at lunchtime on the day they were planning to go and Shirley knew that the only way to persuade her mother to help her was to be honest.
‘Mam, I want a day off and I need your help.’
Hetty looked at her quizzically. ‘Not London again? You won’t do anything like that again, will you? At least until I can come with you.’
‘I might try again, one day, when my wounded pride has recovered, but not at the moment. No, they’re looking for people for the panto. Cardiff, not London. I don’t feel confident enough to try London again at the moment,’ she admitted sadly. ‘Or even Cardiff really. I’m going to this audition for Janet’s sake, that’s all.’
‘Don’t let anyone put you down, Shirley. You have a great voice and having one agent refuse you isn’t the end of the world. When you’re ready, start again. I have a feeling you’ll make it.’
‘Thanks, Mam. At least you think l’m good enough, but the opinions of mothers and favourite aunties don’t count.’
‘I’ll arrange for someone to do my shifts. Perhaps Bleddyn can ask Beth,’ Hetty said.
‘Perhaps not!’ Shirley said with a laugh. ‘Beth is taking Janet’s place in the café!’
‘Don’t worry, we’ll think of something. Go and have fun and don’t be disappointed if you aren’t chosen. I bet there are dozens trying and even the best can be overlooked sometimes. And you, my darling girl, are the best.’
Hetty was right. The entrance to the theatre where the auditions were to take place was heaving with hopefuls. Mothers with small children, giggling schoolgirls, perky boys fighting and fooling, and on, right through the ages to quite elderly men and women hoping for a pan.
They waited for three hours and felt their spirits and energy waning, but as soon as they were on stage their tiredness left them and they prepared to sing and dance. As with all the others, the group of casting directors, singing coaches and producers said very little. They scribbled comments about the previous act in their notebooks and sat, looking bored, as they waited for the next in the long line of performers to rouse them out of lethargy.
Janet and Shirley began together as usual with the verse of the song, then when Shirley’s solo began, the line of assessors jerked up their heads, their interest roused. She sang confidently and well, her powerful melodious voice ringing out across the auditorium and even persuading smiles to appear on the solemn faces sitting in row eight.
Unlike most of the other acts they were shown around the backstage area and were allowed to look at the costume designs and meet some of the professionals already chosen to take part. Shirley’s eyes were shining with the wonder of it. A different world and one in which she knew she should have a place.
They went home smiling happily, both having been offered a role in the forthcoming production, and on the train they discussed whether or not they could accept.
‘If I give up the café for the run of the panto, I’ll have nothing to come back to when it’s over,’ Janet said sadly. ‘I’d love to take part. All the fantasy, the colours, the outrageous costumes, the songs with the audience joining in, it would be a wonderful experience.’
‘I feel exactly the same,’ Shirley sighed. ‘But if I gave up the shop I’d be making Mam and myself homeless. The flat goes with the job. Mam and I have lived there since my father left us, when I was twelve. I can’t take the risk no matter how much I want to.’
They were silent for the remainder of the journey, oblivious of people getting in and out of the carriage. Shirley was troubled by doubts about her ability. Perhaps she was good some days and not others. Perhaps she wasn’t as note-perfect as she believed. Tone-deaf singers didn’t always know they were out of tune. Why else had that judge chosen Janet and not her? Her confidence dropped lower with every turn of the wheels.
Janet was thinking of Max and how thrilled he would have been. They would have had such a wonderful life together, both involved in show business, sharing each other’s joys and successes. Why was life so cruel? Abandoned as a child and brought up in a children’s home, alone in the world, then meeting Max and losing him so soon after falling in love.
When they reached the door of the flat where they knew Hetty and Bleddyn would be waiting to hear their news, they wordlessly agreed to put on an act, and burst into the living room, talking as soon as the door opened, excitedly telling Hetty and Bleddyn about their wonderful day, wildly exaggerating the fun they’d had, prepared to laugh off the idea of them taking the parts, which for both of them was impossible.
‘So you’ve both been offered parts?’ Hetty said, sharing in their excitement.
‘Yes, they wanted us but neither of us can take the job,’ Janet said, trying to hide their disappointment. ‘It was a great laugh. We enjoyed it, didn’t we, Shirley?’
‘We knew we couldn’t take the parts before we went, but it was fun going to the theatre and seeing the costume designs and everything,’ Shirley added. ‘We wouldn’t have missed it, would we, Janet?’
‘We might do it again. We know we’re wasting their time but so were most of the so-called singers.’ Adding to their attempt at hiding their dismay, they began telling Bleddyn and Hetty about some of the acts, exaggerating the poor quality of them.
Amid the laughter, Bleddyn said solemnly, ‘If you really want to do this, I think you should. I’ve been fortunate in my life, I’ve always been able to do what I wanted, which was work on the sands. If you two want this as badly as I think you do, then I believe you should make it happen.’
‘But how? I can’t close the café for months. I’d have nothing to come back to,’ Janet explained, laughing falsely at the ridiculous idea.
‘If I don’t work in the shop Mam and I have to leave the flat,’ Shirley said brightly. ‘I don’t mind, really I don’t. It isn’t that important. Besides, if I lost a local talent competition and was turned down by two London agents, what’s the point of dreaming of a career in showbiz, eh?’
‘We enjoyed today but we knew it was only a d—’ Janet was about to say ‘a dream’ but changed it to ‘—a bit of fun.’
Hetty looked at her daughter in disappointment, but Bleddyn smiled, patted their shoulders and said, ‘Don’t give up just yet. I have a few ideas that might make it possible. Even if it’s only a few months and you don’t get another offer when it’s over, you’ll always have this to remember. Just give me a few days, is it?’
Shirley and Janet hugged each other. For a while at least they could dream.
* * *
Eirlys already knew that her marriage to Ken Ward had been a mistake. They had moved into her home with her father and it was more like having a lodger than her being a newly married woman. Nothing in the routine of her life had changed and the wedding had lacked the excitement of finding a home, choosing furniture and curtains and gathering together all the necessary utensils needed to equip a kitchen. There had been no time to fill her ‘bo
ttom drawer’.
Everything she had saved for her marriage to Johnny Castle had either been discarded or used in her home. Shortages and finding time in their busy lives had prevented them even bothering to decorate the bedroom they were to use. It had been hers after the boys had returned to London, and its familiar shabbiness was now hers and Ken’s with nothing changed apart from new bedding and a hastily scrubbed linoleum-covered floor. Besides, having sorted out the debts left by Teresa Love, money was a problem too. They hadn’t been able to consider replacing any furniture, not even the bed.
There had been no experimental cooking, working out meals to please the new man in her life. Rationing had been partly responsible for that but also she was so busy that cooking was a hasty affair at the end of a hectic day, with the hope that Ken would like what they usually ate rather than her trying to find his favourite food as most newly-weds would do, seeking praise and admiration.
Ken was away from home a lot, leaving her with her father, continuing in the same routine as though nothing had changed at all. He was in concert parties and was often absent for several days. Since their wedding he had refused bookings further afield which would entail absences of several weeks, not wanting to leave his bride so soon. Eirlys was filled with shame as she realised she looked forward to their partings more than his homecomings.
She was often exhausted, with her job at the council offices and filling the shop with handmade items, as well as a few fire-watching duties during which she knitted or sewed in every possible moment. ‘Make Do and Mend’, the posters demanded and it meant women’s hands were never idle. Life was frantic for her as for everyone and Ken’s visits were more and more an interruption instead of an eagerly awaited joy.
When he was home at a weekend he wanted to go to the dance where there were still local acts performing during the interval. The performers were older and less talented but their enthusiasm was enthusiastically applauded. They had been given a new lease of life and were happy, and it showed.
Eirlys went once or twice, to sit and watch the rest dancing, applauding with them when the singers and comedians entertained, or when Ken himself sang a comedy song at the piano. All the time she sat there, she wished she were at home where there was so much to do, trying not to count the hours before he left her to get on with her life.
For Morgan it was equally difficult to adjust. His daughter and her new husband needed time alone so he went out when Ken was home, leaving them together, and he spent hours in the public house trying not to spend too much money, as he still had debts to pay. Debts he now owed to Ken instead of to others.
When the weather was kind he went to his allotment where he was growing vegetables. He’d had a good crop of onions that year, surprisingly as he had been late planting them. As he harvested them, he thought he could offer them to Ronnie Castle to sell on his stall. He knew they were in short supply and if he could wait until Christmas drew near they would be even more popular. He sat in his shed one day, tying them into lengths, remembering the ‘Johnny Onions’, the French onion sellers, who, until the war, had come each year to sell their crops, and he wondered sadly how they were coping with the Germans occupying their homeland.
He heard someone approaching and looked up, expecting to see one of the other allotment holders. To his surprise it was Bleddyn Castle. He at once became nervous. Before she had died, Bleddyn’s wife, Irene, and he had had an affair. It was his constant dread that the large, powerful Bleddyn would one day find out and come to take his revenge. To his relief, Bleddyn was smiling.
‘I want a bit of advice,’ Bleddyn explained as he sat outside the shed on an old wooden seat.
‘You’ve come to the wrong place then,’ Morgan joked. ‘Twp I am, you can ask anybody. Without our Eirlys to run my life for me I’d be done for.’
‘Have you ever thought of remarrying?’
‘You know I have. I wanted to marry Teresa Love and adopt her three boys, but I was a fool, as usual. She took everything she could then hopped it back to London.’
‘But if you found the right woman?’ Bleddyn persisted. ‘Would you marry again?’
‘I like to think I won’t be spending the rest of my life alone,’ Morgan conceded, ‘but I’d have to be real sure. Easy to make a dreadful mistake it is, like I nearly did.’ He put down the onions he was trimming and looked at Bleddyn. ‘Besides, with Eirlys and Ken living with me, the place would be too damned crowded. No, it doesn’t seem very likely. Not for me. You think you’ve found someone special, then?’
‘I’ve been seeing a lot of Hetty Downs. We get on so well and I care for her, you know. I want to look after her, see that she’s all right, her and her daughter Shirley.’
Morgan chuckled. ‘Better man than me, then. I want someone to look after me!’
‘She used to hate the Castles, convinced that they’d cheated her grandfather out of the business or something, but she was bitter about so many things then. You know about her husband, Shirley’s father, running off and having another family, don’t you?’
‘Yes, young Myrtle and Maude Copp. Hell of a shock that must have been for Hetty, mind, to find out who they were.’
‘It was, but now she’s letting all that go. The thing is, if she married me and came to live at my place, Shirley could try for a career on the stage.’
‘Sorry, you’ve lost me. I told you I was twp.’
‘If Shirley gives up her job at the newsagent, they lose the flat.’
‘Are you thinking of marrying Hetty because you want to? Or to help Shirley’s career?’
‘Because I want to, that’s for definite, but helping Shirley would be a sort of bonus. What d’you think?’
Morgan thrust out a brown-stained hand. ‘I wish you luck, Bleddyn boy, and I hope I’m as fortunate as you one day.’
Bleddyn left him and headed off to visit his daughters-in-law. He wanted their approval next. Hannah, Johnny’s wife, hugged him and gave him her blessing, assuring him that Johnny would be as happy for him as herself. Taff’s wife Evelyn was not as pleased.
‘Dad, you can’t really want to remarry? And someone like Hetty Downs!’
‘Why not? I’m not that old. I hope that you and Taff, Hannah and Johnny will be happily involved in your own lives and I don’t want to be hanging around waiting for you to spare me an hour or two. I want a life of my own, so you don’t have to worry about me.’
‘You’re talking like an old man entering the twilight of his years.’ She tried to laugh but she was clearly upset.
‘No. I’m not. That’s exactly it. I’m only forty-eight and I don’t want to live like an old man for a long time yet.’
‘But why do you want to marry? It doesn’t sound right. Johnny and Taff loved their mother and they might be—’ She hesitated and Bleddyn finished for her.
‘Might be disgusted?’
‘I wasn’t going to say that!’ she protested.
‘Weren’t you?’
‘They’d be upset.’
‘Perhaps, until they thought about what was best for me.
Evelyn had always been difficult about change. She objected strongly when Johnny announced his engagement to Eirlys Price and he had often wondered why. Perhaps she was afraid he wouldn’t think as much of her if there were others to share. She had been unhappy too about Hannah and Johnny, insisting that Johnny had made a mistake marrying an older woman with two daughters, but her reaction against Hannah was less serious than her dislike of Eirlys. Perhaps one day he would ask her to explain, but not yet. He was fond of Evelyn and knew she made his son, Taff, very happy, but he didn’t feel confident enough to ask her about Johnny and Eirlys, not yet. One day he would ask her to explain her resentment towards Eirlys. It had been puzzling at the time.
If Morgan Price had known that Bleddyn was even thinking about getting to the bottom of Evelyn’s resentment when Johnny planned to marry his daughter, he wouldn’t have slept for weeks. Evelyn’s dislike of Eirlys was because of his
affair with Bleddyn’s wife, Irene!
When he left Evelyn’s home, Bleddyn went back to Brook Lane and wrote to his two sons. He began each letter by saying he had just seen Evelyn and Hannah and they were well, then told them about his intention to ask Hetty Downs to marry him.
Posting the letters he knew he might not receive a reply for several weeks, and hoped to follow up the letters with another, bearing the news that Hetty and he were engaged. Now he had to ask Hetty. All the preamble might have been unnecessary; she might refuse him, he thought, as he pushed the letters into the post box and headed for the flat above the newsagent.
* * *
Shirley and Janet relaxed their decision to keep secret their Cardiff audition. It didn’t matter now they had been successful and had been offered parts in the show. Gradually the news spread. Joseph’s reaction to Shirley and Janet’s offer of parts in the pantomime was disappointment presented as concern.
‘Shirley, don’t you think you’d be making a mistake? You could give up your job and this small part you’ve been offered could be the only one ever. You could lose everything for a few months of being a small cog in someone else’s wheel. A bit part, no glory, no fame, just a lot of work and with nothing to follow. Having a small success like a part in a panto isn’t enough to risk everything.’
‘You don’t have any faith in me, do you, Joseph? Can’t you imagine a better outcome? I might be offered other, better parts. I could be seen by talent scouts and given parts in London shows. Can’t you even try to imagine that?’
‘What about travelling home every night on the late train?’ he asked, ignoring her plea for support. ‘What if there’s an air raid and you’re miles from home?’
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