‘Oh?’ Marged looked surprised. ‘Busy are you? And on a Sunday?’
‘I’m going out with some friends. We’re taking a picnic and our bathers and going down the Vale. There’s a bus to take us and bring us back.’ Turning away to hide her unjustified guilt, she added, ‘Arranged for weeks it’s been.’
When Marged left, she slipped on a coat and went to see Jennifer, one of the girls she worked with. After a brief discussion Jennifer agreed to go with Alice on a picnic, just as she had told Marged.
‘All except the swimming,’ Jennifer said. ‘Sunbathing, now that’s a different kettle of fish. But the sea’s too cold and too full of strange creatures for me to put a foot in it!’
Alice wasn’t sure why she had refused to help Marged and Huw, but it was something to do with being taken for granted. There had been no job for her when she needed one. They had chosen Netta Mills instead, and that hurt. She wasn’t sure what would happen in the future, but at the moment, she rankled under the memory of seeing Netta there, her children admired, while she had been pushed aside. Using some of her precious clothing coupons and some money intended to add to her savings, she bought a smart, stripy bathing costume. She was married, but as Jennifer constantly reminded her, that was no reason not to look her best.
* * *
There were several estate agents in the town and Shirley went to them all, asking for information about rooms to rent. They had very few. Most people, she was told, advertised small lets in newsagents’ windows and she smiled. She and her mother had run a newsagent shop and had dealt with small advertisements, so why hadn’t she thought of that herself?
She found three that looked possible and, walking through the streets on her way home, she found other cards in the windows of the houses themselves. She wrote the addresses down to send to Freddy, feeling strangely unkind at arranging for him to go into a house of a stranger. But there was no room for him in Bleddyn and her mother’s home and she wouldn’t have suggested it if there had been. She wanted to go slowly when Freddy came home, not jump into a situation from which it would be difficult to extricate herself. Ill-timed sympathy could be a pathway to disaster.
She wrote to Freddy enclosing the details of the rooms and asked if he would like her to look at them; discarding the impossible would at least save him time and frustration. Before she sealed the envelope, she re-read her letter and was horrified to see that she had addressed it not to ‘Dear Freddy’, but ‘Dear Andy’. She tore it into as many pieces as possible and threw it away.
Her mother had also received a letter from Freddy. ‘He would like to use this address for correspondence until he has a place of his own,’ Hetty explained. ‘Bleddyn and I have no objection, do you?’
‘None. Thanks, Mam. He’ll be grateful. I couldn’t imagine coming home after all the years he’s been away, to no home, no belongings, nothing, can you?’
‘Don’t let sympathy confuse your feelings for him,’ Hetty warned, echoing her own thoughts. Shirley hugged her but didn’t reply. It wasn’t sympathy she found confusing, it was persistent thoughts about Andy Probert.
* * *
When Maude returned from her weekend with Reggie’s parents, Audrey saw at once that something momentous had occurred.
‘Did you have a nice time?’ she asked, as she and Keith greeted her.
‘Wonderful, Auntie Audrey. And Keith, you’d love their garden. Birds nesting in the hedges, rabbits in the field beyond, sheep on the hills and even a couple of badgers calling every evening for food. It’s heaven.’
‘And Mr and Mrs Probert, welcoming, were they?’
Maude didn’t reply straight away; she looked from one to the other.
‘What is it, Maude?’ Audrey looked anxious.
‘Oh, Auntie Audrey, Reggie wants us to be married.’
Myrtle came in as the celebratory hugs were in progress and she added her good wishes to theirs. ‘When will it be, our Maude? Can I be bridesmaid?’
‘Of course. And, I want Uncle Huw to give me away, if he will,’ Maude said and the hugs began all over again.
* * *
‘It isn’t fair,’ Myrtle said, thumping herself down on a chair, as she told Stanley about her sister’s engagement. ‘I know our Maude’s two years older, but I’m the most mature and it’ll be ages before I can marry.’
‘Got anyone in mind, Myrtle?’ he asked softly. And she looked at him and looked away, away from those soft, kindly dark eyes.
‘Oh shut up, Stanley and let me sulk in peace.’
‘You’re eighteen but I’m only sixteen, so I expect we’ll have to wait a while but remember you belong to me. You will wait for me, won’t you?’ he added anxiously. ‘I’m saving up. I want a home, a family, like me and Harold and Percival never had until we came to live with Uncle Morgan. I can’t take you to meet my family, because I haven’t got one. But I’ll tell you all about Ma.’
Again she delayed replying, she didn’t trust herself not to cry. She leaned towards him and they held each other tightly. There was no need for more.
* * *
The election took the place of war news on the front pages of the newspapers at the end of July, as Attlee and the Labour Party swept to victory in an election that ended the previous nine-year-long government.
Eirlys listened to the discussions going on around her but couldn’t find any enthusiasm for the political wrangles. She worked hard but without joy as she guided Ralph through the intricate arrangements for the last of the summer’s events.
At home she washed and ironed and mended Ken’s clothes and put them ready for when he left for London. If there was regret as she completed the various tasks, none showed. For Ken it was confirmation of her indifference and for Eirlys, his casual acceptance of her preparations was more proof of his eagerness to leave her.
Morgan had been right when he thought too many words could limit the chance of an amicable end to a problem, but in this instance it was the lack of words that was so damaging.
Stanley still worked at the beach as August holidays began to swell the crowds arriving each day by bus, train, bicycle and on foot. Myrtle worked at Audrey’s café, but on Mondays, when the café closed at one o’clock, he would look out along the prom for her flying figure as she ran from the bus to spend the rest of the day with him. It was the best day of the week.
‘Something’s wrong with Eirlys and I don’t know what it is,’ he greeted her as she threw off her coat and jumped on to the swingboats for a free ride. Stanley hopped up and settled himself at the other end and they began to pull themselves up, higher and higher above the sand. ‘Your Auntie Audrey doesn’t know anything, does she?’
‘I know Ken is going to London and Eirlys isn’t going with him, but I don’t think it’s because they’re parting, just that his job will be based in London and hers is here.’
‘That’s the mystery,’ Stanley said. ‘Eirlys hasn’t said anything, but I heard that that Ralph bloke, who worked there before the war, has come home and taken his job back. In a couple more weeks Eirlys won’t have the job any more. So why isn’t she going to London with Ken?’
‘Perhaps it’s you and Harold and Percival. She’s like a mother to you three.’
‘We can manage. Uncle Morgan is hopeless an’ helpless, but with me to sort ’im out we’ll be fine.’
‘Then she’s silly not to go.’
‘You wouldn’t do that, would you, Myrtle? You wouldn’t leave me, would you?’
‘Never,’ she said but she was smiling, and as she looked at him, she saw that he was not. More seriously, she said, ‘No, Stanley. I won’t ever want to leave you.’
‘Nor me you, Myrtle.’ He nodded contentedly as the brightly painted boat lowered them slowly back to earth.
When they locked up the rides and put the shutters in place on the stalls, they didn’t want to go home. Waving to Huw, and pocketing the keys, Stanley put a possessive arm around Myrtle’s shoulders and let her up to the prom. There
preparations were being made for one of the early levels of the giant chess tournament. This was one of the most surprising successes of Eirlys’s summer entertainments. It had not been expected to attract many people, and the advertising had been minimal, but for even the early rounds of the contest, the area around the painted flagstones, which was the board, was always crowded. This year the area had been further decorated with yards and yards of Cassie’s colourful bunting, encouraging more people to investigate, and often stay to watch the game.
Few of the enthusiastic viewers played or even understood the game, but the large pieces, being pushed around under the instruction of the players, by men dressed as clowns, or jockeys riding hobby horses, or even, on one momentous occasion, men dressed as ballet dancers wearing football boots, always attracted large crowds.
Some of the players were irate at first as the movers took their time or got it wrong, or ended up fighting, but they soon realized the intention was laughter and fun and quickly settled to enjoy themselves.
Most of the shops had closed before it began and the few cafés with open doors discouraged their customers to stay. Everyone wanted to see the fun. Stanley wriggled himself into a prime spot and dragged Myrtle in beside him. They stood very close and continually whispered to each other, an excuse to be even closer.
Maude stood with Reggie, who had come in working clothes, determined not to miss it, and near them Beth and Peter with their baby, who was being held by his proud grandfather Bernard. Bernard had been a semi-finalist one year but work on the smallholding had prevented him entering again.
The whole town seemed to be there. Hands waved in the crowd as friends recognized each other. Shirley watched with her parents, who had left an assistant in charge of the fish and chip shop. She looked around, and searched the faces, wondering if Andy was among them. Or were her friends right? Was she being utterly foolish and searching for a ghost? She put thoughts of Andy aside and drank in the atmosphere, planning to describe it all to Freddy in her next letter.
Eirlys and Ken were there, with their son, and her father and Harold and Percival. The unhappy couple were pushed close together by the increasingly excited crowd, but both pulled away, as though the contact was offensive.
It was getting dark when the game finished. The winner was announced and the date of the next stage. Slowly the people drifted away. Hetty and Bleddyn hurried back to the fish and chip shop to help the assistant through the busy last hours and Shirley began to walk to the bus stop.
Several buses came, filled up and left. Shirley sat on the wall and waited, hoping the next would have room for her. Someone sat beside her and she turned to offer a pleasantry when he spoke and startled her into a shriek.
‘Hello, Shirley. I’m back. Are you pleased to see me?’
‘Andy!’
‘Sh-sh-sh. Don’t tell everyone, lovely girl, I’ll really be for it if they catch me again.’
‘Go away or I’ll be the one to tell them,’ she whispered harshly.
‘Here’s our bus,’ he said unconcerned. ‘Pay my fare will you? Broke I am.’
‘Walk!’ she said as she pushed her way on to the already crowded bus.
She didn’t get a seat and he stood beside her and, as the conductor squeezed his way along the gangway to collect fairs, he gestured to her with a nod, implying that she would pay. With hands that trembled with confusion and anger, she did so.
He walked with her to her home and she hurried as fast as her injured leg would allow, anxious to be rid of him. He kept up with her, chatting as though nothing had happened since they had last met.
‘Meet me tomorrow in the little park,’ he pleaded. ‘Two o’clock?’
‘No, I won’t. I never want to see you again. Go away.’
‘I’ll be there. Two o’clock in the park. Right?’ With a, ‘Sleep well, lovely girl,’ he turned and walked away blowing a kiss.
That night she couldn’t sleep and spent most of the dark hours sitting beside the dead fire, drinking tea and thinking about Andy and Freddy. The next morning she went out early and made her way to Bernard Gregory’s smallholding. She found Reggie digging the beds from which the last of the small crops had been taken. He was spreading fertilizer as he dug, working it evenly into the soil, and she stood near the gate and waited until he saw her.
‘Shirley? Hi,’ he called. ‘Looking for a job are you?’
Ignoring the teasing she said, ‘I’ve seen Andy and if you don’t believe me, be in the park in town this afternoon at two o’clock. He’s asked me to meet him there.’
He walked over to her and stared, unable to decide what to say. His brother was dead. Official notice of his being missing, presumed drowned, was in his parents’ house. He’d seen it and he believed it.
‘Why are you doing this, Shirley? Mam’s accepted it and if she hears rumours like this it’ll upset her all over again.’
‘Be there!’ She turned and hurried away.
Reggie stared after her until she disappeared from sight, then went back and finished his task. When he asked Bernard for an hour off he didn’t have to explain, and taking a bicycle from the shed he rode to the park at half past one and stood in the trees and patiently waited.
Shirley hadn’t intended to go. It was better that the brothers met unburdened by her presence. She sat in her living room, watching the clock and wondering what they would say to each other. As the minutes passed she began to listen for footsteps. Reggie would come and tell her he was sorry for not believing her and she would be able to leave any decisions about Andy to him. She would be free of him.
It was half past two when he came and he was alone. She smiled as she opened the door. ‘Well?’ she questioned. ‘Now do you believe me?’
‘Surprise, surprise, he didn’t come.’ There was anger in the eyes so like his brother’s.
‘But he asked me to meet him there. He must have been there. You just didn’t see him.’ She was shocked and Reggie relaxed and said, ‘Look, Shirley, you must get him out of your mind. You saw someone who looked like him, and now you imagine seeing him, believing what everyone else knows isn’t true. A bit of wishful thinking perhaps. But Andy’s gone. He drowned just like his dreams told him he would. I’m sorry.’
For several days Shirley didn’t leave the house. She pretended to have a slight cold and, being a singer, it was an acceptable excuse as she had three concerts planned for the following week. Whatever other people thought, she wasn’t afraid she was losing her mind. Although she might have been mistaken about the clown, there had been no doubt about Andy travelling on that bus with her. When would he stop his foolish games and go to see his brother? Didn’t his family deserve to know of his survival? What game was he playing and why was he tormenting her like this?
* * *
Huw and Bleddyn went on a voyage of nostalgia. Before the war they had employed people in a small lemonade factory and another where ice cream was made. Besides what they sold themselves, they had supplied other customers with their popular lines. With the end of the war, although with no prospect yet of an end to food rationing, they inspected the places to see how well they had survived the years of neglect.
‘Your Marged is a marvel,’ Bleddyn said, opening the lid of the freezing drum and admiring the spotless interior. She must have come here regularly to keep it as immaculate as this.’
‘Old Granny Molly Piper always did it and when she died Marged took over.’
Satisfied that the reopening of the place was possible they locked up and left. Bleddyn led his brother to another lock-up and on opening the doors went to look at his boat.
Every summer before the war, he had taken visitors and trippers on boat rides around the bay. Like the ice-cream and lemonade equipment, the boat had been well cared for during the time it had been laid up. All it needed was fresh paint and she would be ready to resume. But Bleddyn shook his head. ‘I don’t think I’ve got the heart for it any more.’
Huw smiled grimly. ‘The tru
th is, Bleddyn, we’re six years older than when we left all this. I don’t think I want to do more than we’re already coping with. Even Marged, who’s as strong as they come, is finding it hard to keep up with it all. And I have the feeling that when your Johnny and our Eynon come home, even they might want something different from selling ice creams and giving rides.’
‘We packed everything away, convinced that one day we’d open it all up and go back to how things were, but it isn’t going to happen, is it?’ Sadly they closed the doors on the past.
‘What about a pint to toast the old days?’ Bleddyn suggested. Pocketing the keys, they went to the nearest pub.
* * *
Ken left for London at the beginning of August, and as Eirlys, Anthony and the three brothers saw him off on the train, Alice stood near them.
‘Come on, Eirlys, come back to my miserable two rooms and have tea with me. I don’t get many visitors and I need the place to at least feel a bit lived in when Eynon comes home.’
Tearfully, Eirlys remarked that ‘Once this lot get there it’ll looked lived in all right!’
‘Just what the place needs,’ Alice assured her as she took the handle of the pushchair and led the way.
Alice knew she had been hard on Eirlys when she had been told about the loss of her job, and her refusal to go to London with Ken. She had hoped that it might help her decide to go with her husband. That hadn’t happened, so all she could do was support her while her life was rearranged.
Stanley asked if he might go now Uncle Ken had been sent on his way. ‘I thought I might go to the café and have a cup of tea there. Okay, Alice?’
Alice smiled, knowing he was hoping for a word with Myrtle. ‘Give her my love.’
The rented rooms looked smaller than ever as they all trooped in. Two-and-a-half-year-old Anthony at once began to explore, opening cupboards and grabbing everything that took his fancy. Having had the attention of adoring adults all his life, he was very active and, apart from storytelling time, was sometimes difficult to amuse.
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