* * *
Lilly was back home and the few items of furniture she and Sam had squashed into the two rooms were either sold or given to members of the family. Phyllis, now four-and-a-half, had begun school and although her parents tried to encourage her to find work, Lilly ignored their heavy hints, and went out each day and walked to the park, whatever the weather, in the hope of seeing Sam Junior.
One morning she saw him coming out of the library and ran after him. He saw her and increased his speed, breaking into a run and had disappeared when she followed him around a corner. Like Shirley, she knew, without doubt, that her one-time lover, one-time stepson, Sam Junior, was avoiding her.
It was cold and dreary. A cold wind blew through the town but she didn’t want to go home. She needed to think about what she was going to do. Her mother wouldn’t allow her to stay at home indefinitely without contributing. Even her father, who was more easily persuaded, was telling her of jobs vacant and suggesting other places she might try. The trouble was, none of them appealed. She didn’t know what she wanted to do, but office work or selling in the various shops didn’t come close. She was born for comfort, she wasn’t lazy, just unsuited for a daily session of boring work just to receive a wage packet that wouldn’t last until the next one. Handing out money for this bill and that bill, she knew she was intended for better things. She simply wasn’t like the rest of them with their boring routine and their boring lives. She was waiting, convinced that something better would turn up.
She sat in the park for a while, wrapped around in her thick winter coat, boots on her feet and fur-lined gloves on her hands. She shivered, her nose felt ready to drop off, but she didn’t move for a long time; why move? She had nowhere to go. She didn’t even have enough money to go into a café and buy something to eat. Her silent misery was accompanied by a pout. Mam could at least have given her a few shillings.
She thought with regret of her kindly, loving husband and was ashamed of the way she had behaved. If only she and Sam Junior hadn’t been weak, he might not have been in the road when the car had mown him down. And even if he had died, he would have left her comfortably off: she and Phyllis would still be in that dear little house, and happy. What a stupid mistake. And it wasn’t that she was keen on what she called ‘that side of marriage’. She had submitted to Sam but had found that boring at times, too. The affair with Phillip Denver and then Sam Junior had both been wrong and therefore exciting, but she knew that would have faded. The act of love left her unmoved, her emotions untouched. She had enjoyed the power she’d had over the men, the feeling of being needed and loved, but that was all.
Sam Junior had been a weakness she wouldn’t succumb to again. No matter how boring it would be, she would have to find herself a job. Meanwhile, she thought, standing up and hurrying towards the park entrance, there was Auntie Audrey’s café where she wouldn’t have to pay.
She was still shivering when she found a table and waited for her aunt to see her and come over.
‘Lilly dear. Been job-hunting, have you?’ Audrey asked pointedly.
‘Oh, Auntie Audrey, not you as well. That’s all I hear from morning till night – “When are you going to get yourself a job, Lilly?!” – from Mam and Dad and Uncle Bleddyn. Now you.’
‘Beth’s husband has set up an agency to help people find jobs that suit them. Why don’t you call and talk to him? If you tell him what you’d like to do, he’ll look out for something suitable. He interviews clients before sending them to prospective employers and his recommendation helps.’
‘Can I have a cup of tea, first?’
‘Of course, dear. But don’t be too long, it’ll be time to meet Phyllis from school in a couple of hours, remember.’
‘And a piece of toast?’ Lilly asked, ignoring the advice.
It was Maude who brought the snack. ‘Where’s that awful friend of yours these days, Lilly?’ she asked as she placed the toast in front of her. ‘What a spiteful girl she is. I don’t know how you stood her for so long.’
‘I liked her, she made me laugh and I wish Mam hadn’t driven her away.’
‘Drove herself away, she did, talking like that to the family who’d treated her so well.’
‘If I knew where she lived I’d go and see her. I’m fed up being on my own day after day.’
‘Then why don’t you—’
‘Don’t say it, Maude. Just don’t say it!’
‘Funny you being such friends and not knowing where she lives.’
‘Ashamed she was. Since her husband died and Dolly’s father ran out on her, she’s had to manage on very little. She didn’t want me to see how dreadful her home was. Nothing wrong with a bit of pride, is there?’
‘Not at all.’ Maude couldn’t resist adding, ‘That’s why I’ve always earned my keep. Pride and all that!’
‘Oh, shut up!’
Angry, but too hungry and cold to walk out, Lilly took her time finishing the toast and tea, then, calling, ‘Cheerio,’ to Auntie Audrey, she tensed herself and went out into the cold street. It wouldn’t hurt to go and talk to Peter Gregory. As Beth’s husband he was her brother-in-law and wouldn’t force her to take something she’d hate.
Peter was not in the office and it was to Eirlys she explained her need for something interesting.
‘Will it be a temporary job?’ Eirlys asked. ‘Will you be leaving to go over the beach once the season begins again?’
‘No fear! If there’s something I don’t want, it’s sand, sea, chips and hordes of noisy children! Besides, with Eynon and Johnny back, Mam and Dad won’t need me.’
‘Tell me then, what would you like to do?’ Eirys asked, pen poised.
‘Nothing, if you want the truth. I want to stay home.’
‘Leave it with me,’ Eirlys said, hiding a smile. ‘I’ll let you know if anything suitable for you comes in.’
Lilly went home and truthfully told her parents she had been enquiring about getting a job.
* * *
As the winter of 1945 approached, few additional luxuries appeared in the shops, except an occasional and limited supply of oranges, which were sold to children only, the green ration books being marked in a previously unused space at the back of the books, and some tinned fruit offered without points rationing, but allocated one to each family by the grocer.
Shirley took part in a few concerts and also helped with the school choir, while she waited to hear from a London producer. Bleddyn and Huw did their usual winter tasks of maintenance on the house and the cafés, while keeping the fish and chip restaurant open. Marged looked after her grandson, helped Audrey and Keith on some days and on others worked her way through the tedium of mending and making sure everything would be ready for opening up at the beach again in the early summer.
To their delight Marged and Audrey were able to discard many of the worn tablecloths as well as household linens; Cassie Davies’s sales of ‘under-the-counter’ goods without the need for coupons had enabled them to replenish their stocks. If they had guilty thoughts about the legality of the transactions, they put them aside. After six years they were as honest or dishonest as the majority, their minds clear as they reminded themselves that, ‘If we don’t buy them someone else will.’
* * *
As a temporary measure, Freddy had accepted a job in the hotel where he had been staying as a guest. The work involved some cleaning, taking luggage to and from guests’ rooms and various errands. It was mindless and he knew he wouldn’t be able to stay for long. Just for a while he needed something uninvolving while he tried to make a decision on what to do next.
His ambition had once been to open a shop, a gentleman’s outfitters on a rather grand style, but he no longer had the heart for it. In his imaginings he had been working with Shirley beside him and seeing her on stage, realizing just how talented she was, had killed that idea completely. So far, although he had lain awake many nights since, nothing had occurred to him that might replace it.
He
didn’t want to touch the money Shirley was holding for him. It was safe with her and would be there when he knew what he wanted to do. If only he could see her. He knew he couldn’t trust himself: he would give himself away and tell her how much he loved her. He mustn’t do that. He mustn’t ruin her chances of a brilliant career. While there was a risk of that, he had to avoid seeing her.
* * *
Alice and Eynon were house-hunting. While Eynon found himself a job in the local park, tidying the bedraggled flower beds and making sure the swings and rides were safe, Alice had returned to work full-time for Cassie.
The stocks were running down and, to Alice’s surprise, large quantities of towels and teacloths were offered, without payment, to the local hospital. Sheets were reduced in price and many houses in St David’s Well had better stocks of bed linen than ever before. She didn’t question Cassie’s generosity, she simply did as she was told.
Whenever they could manage an hour, Alice and Eynon looked at houses for sale. There weren’t many vacant and the ones they were offered were either too far from Eynon’s parents, or from his beloved beach. Then, on a Saturday lunchtime they found what they immediately thought of as their cottage.
Not far from Sidney Street, it was built of stone and had once been a church hall. The owner had made alterations and inside it had two bedrooms, two living rooms and a kitchen. It lacked the luxury of a bathroom, but Eynon knew one could be added. They spent ages wandering around inside and out, already making plans for when it would be their home.
On the following day, all the family trooped in to admire their choice. They had promises of an army of helpers to redecorate and clean it up. There were also offers of furniture but Alice asked Cassie for a few hours off and on the Monday made enquiries about obtaining dockets to buy new.
A couple of weeks later, Eynon pored excitedly over the book of twenty-four dockets in her Utility Furniture Buying Permit, considering how best to spend them.
Alice blushed as she read out, ‘Five dockets needed for a bed.’
‘That’s for definite,’ Eynon agreed.
‘And five for a fireside chair. Perhaps we can manage with the ones we’ve got?’
‘Wardrobe?’ Eynon suggested.
‘That’s a whopping twelve dockets! We could go for a dining table, six dockets, and some chairs, one each?’
They mused happily over their choices, content in the knowledge that until they decided, there were sufficient pieces from the generous family to enable them to manage. And with her connection with Cassie’s bargains, Alice’s linen store was generously filled.
With all the complications of prospective ownership, Alice managed to forget the fear that Netta would appear and spoil everything. Until she saw her again, talking to Eynon across the street from the cottage.
Netta was holding Walter in one hand and Dolly with the other. Eynon was crouched down talking to the little girl and the sight stopped Alice in her tracks.
She and Eynon were going to meet the agents to discuss the contract on their cottage, it seemed the worst possible omen for him to talk to Netta. He appeared to be talking to the little girl but she wondered anxiously what barbed comments were issuing from the mother’s lips. She waited until the woman and her children were gone before revealing herself and she said nothing to Eynon about having seen them.
‘Did you see that woman with the two children just now?’ Eynon asked.
‘No,’ she lied. ‘Someone you know?’
‘I think so, but I can’t remember where. She seems to know me, that’s the puzzling thing. She asked about our Ronnie and Olive, mentioned Johnny, Lilly, Mam and Dad.’ He shrugged. ‘I was away too long. I can’t remember. I’ll ask Mam later.’
‘Why bother?’ Alice tried to sound casual.
Disappointment met them at the estate agent’s office. The surveyor had found a serious problem with the front wall and after discussion they withdrew their offer to buy. They went home to discuss their dismay and it was then that Alice made a suggestion that had been hovering around her mind for some time.
‘Eynon, how do you feel about buying a larger property?’
‘Well, I wouldn’t want anything too big to be comfortable, love. I want a couple of children like we’ve discussed, but there’s no point having the extra work of extra rooms we don’t need.’
‘I was thinking about a really big place, like five or six bedrooms. There’ll always be people looking for somewhere decent to stay in the summer months – you’ve seen how difficult it is sometimes to find accommodation. What if we ran a guest house, taking in summer visitors? Bed and breakfast only, that’ll be easy.’ She could see the idea didn’t immediately horrify him. ‘You’d still work on the sands with Johnny and the others, and I’ll run it, of course,’ she added. ‘In the winter we’d still have a few guests, but there’ll be time then for maintenance, just like your father and Uncle Bleddyn with the stalls and rides.’
‘It will fit in with the Castles’ business all right,’ he mused. ‘Alice, if you think we can do it, I think we should investigate the idea.’
Knowing it would please him, she said, ‘First of all, let’s talk to your Mam and Dad.’
* * *
Hannah and Johnny settled back into civilian life with ease. They continued to live with Bleddyn, Hetty and Shirley but when the excitement of Alice and Eynon’s new home was discussed, Hannah wondered if they should be doing the same.
‘We can’t afford to buy a house,’ she said to Johnny, ‘but we could apply to the council for a place. These prefabs that are promised for a few years’ time sound wonderful. They’ve even got a fridge, can you believe that? Shall I ask how we get our name on the list?’
‘Yes, lovely girl, if that’s what you want.’
‘Isn’t it what you want?’ she asked anxiously.
‘If you want it, then so do I. We’ll talk to Dad and Hetty first, though, shall we?’
‘Johnny, I wouldn’t want them to think I’m not happy here. Your father has been wonderful to me and the children. I’m more than content to stay, but they might think differently. They might like to have the house to themselves. Shirley has applied for a part in that London show and if she leaves, it would be a chance for them to be on their own – for the first time since they married, remember.’
‘We’ll leave it for you two to decide,’ Bleddyn told them later. ‘Either way is fine by us, isn’t it, Hetty, love? Just don’t move too far away. I need to see those little girls regular or I’ll pine right away.’
He spoke light-heartedly but in fact he didn’t want them to leave. Besides the need to make up for the years when he hadn’t seen his son, and the continuing pain of losing Johnny’s brother, he loved Hannah and her girls like his own and he knew Hetty felt the same. He put no pressure on them to stay. He wanted them to be free to decide, but he fervently hoped the assurance that they were free was all they needed.
* * *
Myrtle was jealous of her sister, Maude. ‘It’s not fair, you getting married. I won’t be able to marry Stanley for years. He’s not seventeen yet.’
‘You marrying Stanley? Best you wait till you’re asked,’ Maude teased.
‘He has asked, at least, sort of asked and I’ve said yes. It’s so unfair having to wait until he’s considered old enough.
‘Of course it’s fair, Myrtle! Stanley needs to make a career for himself, and he’ll need some savings too.’
‘Some people marry at sixteen, I’ve seen it in the paper.’
‘That’s usually because they – you know – have to.’
‘Do you and Reggie do that, you know, loving?’
‘No, we don’t! And you’d better not either!’
‘As if we would! But I’m nearly eighteen, our Maude, and two years seems a very long time.’
‘Reggie and I won’t be marrying before then. It’s more than saying, “I do.” There’s getting your bottom drawer filled, and finding somewhere to live and all sorts
of things to arrange.’
‘Then I’d better make a start, hadn’t I? Who knows, our Maude, Stanley and I might beat you to it!’
* * *
Shirley received a reply from the theatre company asking her to attend an interview and audition a week later and she waited several days before replying, to tell them she would be there. It was ridiculous hesitating in the futile hope of seeing Freddy Clements. Too much time had passed and if he intended to see her, he would have arrived on her doorstep a long time ago.
She was at the shop buying bread when a voice she recognized asked for the order for the Seagull Hotel. She turned and stared into Freddy’s startled face.
‘Shirley!’
‘Oh, so you do remember my name,’ she remarked coldly. She paid for the bread and walked out of the shop, hurrying to put as much distance as she could between them. She wasn’t crying, it was hurt and anger that brought tears to her eyes, she told herself as she turned the corner and walked along the back lane.
When she reached the other end, Freddy was standing there, leaning against a dark green van.
‘Shirley, can you spare a minute? Perhaps you deserve an explanation,’ he said, frantically trying to invent one.
‘Please call and collect the money I’m holding for you, I’ll take it out of the bank account I opened, including the interest, and leave it with Mam tomorrow afternoon, will that be all right?’
‘No, please look after it a bit longer.’ He looked at her, admiration clear in his eyes. ‘You’re doing well these days, quite a celebrity. It’s well deserved, Shirley. You’re a star, I always knew that.’
She tried not to respond but asked, ‘And you, Freddy? What are you doing, besides hiding from me?’
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