‘I thought you and Shirley were, well, good friends. You wrote to each other regularly during the war, didn’t you? Don’t tell me you’ve lost interest now the danger and excitement have gone?’ Audrey looked at him. ‘Quarrelled, have you?’
‘No, we’ve never had a cross word.’ He hesitated then explained. ‘I backed off when I saw how successful she was. A brilliant amateur, that’s how I thought of her. Entertaining the troops, a local celebrity. I hadn’t realized just how much talent she had. I heard her sing on the day I came home. I was planning to surprise her, you know, turn up after the concert. But I knew then she was in a class of her own. She’d left me behind and she’s, well, she’s wonderful. She has a voice that convinces a listener into thinking she’s singing just for them. She’s enchanting. I can’t compete with the career she’s heading for. I’m pleased for her but I can’t expect her to waste time on me. I might hold her back and I’d hate that. Please, don’t tell her where I am,’ he added.
‘Why not, Freddy? I don’t understand why you haven’t kept in touch. Whatever Shirley does, she’ll still need friends.’
‘Friends wasn’t what I had in mind. No, it’s best we don’t see each other again. She’s on her way up and I don’t want to hinder her. My ambition was to open a shop. Not in the same league at all.’
As they were leaving, Keith found him again and said, ‘Don’t be a fool. Go and see her, at least find out how she feels. What harm can it do? She can only say no, and you’re man enough to take a disappointment, aren’t you?’
Two days later, Freddy knocked on the door in Brook Lane, where Bleddyn told him Shirley had gone to London.
‘She’ll be back for a couple of days at Christmas,’ he called after Freddy’s retreating figure. ‘Come and see her, she’ll be so pleased.’ Freddy waved without turning around or stopping. What was the point, it would only be prolonging the misery.
* * *
Reggie and Maude were discussing an engagement. On the way home from the pictures they gazed into jewellery-shop windows and counted their savings. Maude was now twenty and many of her friends and acquaintances were married by that age. She knew she had to tell the family but she hesitated. Although Marged and Huw, and Hetty and Bleddyn weren’t related, she suffered the same feelings of shyness when she thought of explaining about Reggie and herself.
‘What if we tell my parents first?’ Reggie suggested.
‘Practise on them?’ she said with a nervous giggle. ‘I don’t know why I don’t walk into their house in Sidney Street and come right out with it. But I can’t. I’ll blush and stutter stupid things and make a fool of myself. And I know Uncle Huw will start teasing me.’
‘I think that once you start to explain, they’ll help you out. They’ve probably guessed already.’
‘Shall we go together and tell Auntie Audrey?’
‘Mam and Dad first,’ Reggie decided.
Because of the long hours that Audrey’s café opened, she was very lenient with Maude and Myrtle regarding time off. When Maude asked if she could take the weekend to visit Reggie’s family she agreed at once, but not without the expected teasing.
‘Something special, is it? This weekend visiting your boyfriend’s parents? Best frock? And a shampoo and set at the hairdresser’s?’
‘Just another visit. I’ll tell you all about it when I get back,’ Maude said, making her escape.
Reggie’s parents didn’t live far away and they went on their bicycles after Reggie finished work on Saturday lunchtime. The first person they saw was his brother, Andy.
‘Hi there, Reggie and Maude, nice to see you.’
‘What are you doing here? Bringing more trouble to Mam and Dad?’
‘What a welcome, eh?’ He turned to Maude to share his disapproval. ‘You could at least ask how I am. Couldn’t he, Maude?’
‘What are you doing here?’ Reggie repeated.
‘Keeping out of jail.’ He called to his mother, ‘Mam, look who’s here, it’s our Reggie.’ Mrs Probert came bustling in looking anxious.
‘Reggie dear, and Maude. I’m so glad to see you both, your room’s ready, Maude. Take her bag up, will you, Andy?’
‘Not Andy, our Mam. I’m Drew, remember? New name new start?’
Ignoring him, she kissed Maude and Reggie and led them into the living room.
‘He just turned up. We knew he was alive, he wrote and told us, but he gave us such a fright when he came here after telling us he’d been arrested again.’
‘He shouldn’t be here. He’ll bring you nothing but trouble.’
‘I heard that. Not very brotherly, is it?’ Andy called from the doorway. ‘I only came to find out where Shirley Downs is. If you tell me where I can find her I’ll leave.’
‘I don’t want you to go. I want you here where I can look after you,’ Mrs Probert said.
‘No, Mam. Reggie’s right. I can’t stay. I get restless, see, and when things are ticking along peacefully I’m tempted to do something stupid, just to liven things up. I need risks, danger, and the need for it grows like an itch I have to scratch.’
‘Time you grew up,’ Reggie snapped.
‘I’ll be all right. I’ve lived off the countryside in the past, for weeks at a time. I just want to see Shirley once more, then I’m off to Scotland, I’ve got a job on a hill farm, assistant to the gamekeeper, would you believe, and me an expert poacher. It’ll do, for a while.’
‘How d’you cope at night out in the woods and fields?’ Maude asked him later when they were finishing their evening meal. ‘Myrtle and I lived without a proper home for months one winter and summer but we never slept out in the fields. I’d find that real scary.’
‘Making a shelter of sorts isn’t difficult,’ he explained. ‘Food is available once you know where to look. But the first thing to learn is not to be afraid of the dark.’ He looked at his parents affectionately and went on, ‘Mam and Dad reassured me when I was a kid and afraid of the dark. They would blow out the candle and sit there with me in the blackness then strike a match and relight it to show me that nothing changed. The room or the garden or the woodland was the same whether or not there was light. Reggie and me, we spent hours out in the fields. We walked home from town through the fields and the woods without fear. Easy once you learn that.’
It was as they were leaving that Reggie put an arm around Maude and told his parents that they were planning to marry. At once Mrs Probert hugged them both to show her delight. More formally, Reggie’s father shook his son’s hand.
‘Two down, four to go,’ Reggie said as they cycled home after their Sunday lunch of rabbit, caught, no doubt, by Andy. They went straight to Sidney Street where Audrey and Myrtle were talking to Marged and Huw.
Their news was welcomed by all except Myrtle. ‘It isn’t fair,’ she protested, repeating the complaints she had made to Maude earlier. ‘Stanley and I want to get married too, but Auntie Marged says we’re too young!’
* * *
Cassie couldn’t sleep. Night after night she lay awake wondering what would become of her. To be abandoned at her age left little time to recover. Where would she go? What would she do for money? She wouldn’t need a lot, she had no grand ambitions to own a big house, or have luxury holidays or buy fine clothes. It wasn’t the shortage of money she dreaded, it was the loneliness.
Alice offered sympathy. She too felt vulnerable. She tried in vain to put thoughts about Netta’s claim on Eynon out of her mind but the fear was a constant threat. Every time she turned a corner she expected to see a smiling Netta walking towards her with Dolly holding her hand. She was still young and she was aware of the greater difficulty faced by Cassie, but they shared the fear of being left alone. Having Eynon’s love torn out of her life was a nightmare through which she lived every day.
‘I’ll do anything I can to help,’ she promised Cassie.
‘Good, I might need someone to share the final stages of my plan.’
‘Plan?’ Alice queried.
‘Let’s get out those illegally obtained clothing coupons, shall we? Then you and I are going to arrange an amazing sale. I want the shops emptied as quickly as possible.’ She stared at Alice and there was, as Alice later described to Eynon, the light of battle in her dark brown eyes. ‘Are you sure you’re willing to help?’
‘Just tell me what you want me to do.’
‘I want us to go bankrupt. That’s what.’
In the loft of her house, Cassie unearthed some Christmas decorations and acquired some gifts from a source she’d discovered by going through Joseph’s books. Working without a rest, she filled the shop with everything she could find. Without advertising – there would be no need with goods being so scarce – she allowed rumours to spread about a delivery of off-ration linen that would make wonderful Christmas gifts. It was all very hush-hush, but as soon as the shops opened they were inundated with customers.
The windows of both shops were packed with tray-cloths, dressing-table sets, chair-backs and boxes of handkerchiefs as well as the usual household goods.
‘Where did you find all these?’ Alice gasped when she went to the shop to open up.
‘Oh, they’re available here and there, if you know where to look.’ was the enigmatic reply.
The prices were low, there was no restriction on what people could purchase, and within seven days both shops were left with nothing more than unsaleable oddments. Hints were all that were needed to remind customers of the illegality of the sale and they whispered the news but were careful not to speak to the wrong people.
However, the inspectors did arrive and Cassie looked outraged at the suggestion that she was breaking the law. ‘You’re mistaken, someone’s having a joke,’ she protested. Acting the outraged, honest tradeswoman, she showed some of her legitimately acquired coupons added to some of the the carefully cut-out coupons Alice had found.
She took handfuls and threw them into the air. ‘Want to count them do you?’ She puffed and glared and threw things about, muttered about the difficulties of the past six years and added, ‘And all the thanks we get is unfair accusations!’
‘No, we don’t need to count them, madam,’ she was told pompously – that wasn’t their job. That tedious occupation was left to others. ‘We only investigate.’
‘Well, go and investigate somewhere else. I’m busy!’
‘If you send us away, madam, others will come. We have to ensure there are no illegalities here.’
No ‘others’ came. No one else questioned her, and the danger passed.
‘Now what?’ Alice asked as they swept up and deposited the rubbish in the ash bin.
‘Sorry, Alice, I’m afraid you’ve lost your job.’
Alice laughed. ‘You mean you’ve had me helping to make myself unemployed?’
‘I’m afraid so. But if you wait a while, I might be starting all over again, this time with everything in my own name. I’d love to have you back when that happens.’
‘No, once we start having bookings for our bed and breakfast, I’d have left anyway. Thanks to Dad we’ve been able to buy a good property and thanks to you, we’ll be starting our business with the best stock of linen in the town.’
‘The country more like!’ Cassie said with a chuckle. ‘There’s a couple of wardrobes and two beds at the house if you want them. Either you, or they’ll go on a bonfire with the rest.’ Then she sighed and her face crumpled into sadness again.
‘How did you get into this situation? Why didn’t you and Joseph marry?’
Cassie shrugged. ‘I was a trusting fool. That’s how. Joseph was my mother’s lodger and when she died he stayed on. I sold the house to give him a start and we bought the first shop. The silly part was, we were both called Davies and people began to presume we were married, and we let it slide. We intended to marry quietly, not telling anyone, hiding the fact that we’d been living together without the privilege of the clergy. Time passed and it no longer seemed important.’
‘Until Joanna Lee-Jones.’
‘Exactly.’
‘So, what next?’
‘Alice, dear, you don’t want to know.’
* * *
Maude and Myrtle both wrote to Shirley while she was in London and in her letter, Maude told her about Andy’s visit to his parents. She called him Drew as Andy had asked, knowing that Shirley would guess.
Thoughts of him unsettled her. She didn’t love him, she couldn’t love anyone who survived by cheating and stealing. Someone who spent the war years evading the armed forces, then allowed his family to believe he was dead so he could go on doing so. She wondered why she had found him so attractive – he was the worst kind of person to have even as a friend, she told herself; yet there was something about him that touched her. He still found a soft spot in her heart.
If only Freddy were here. She wouldn’t think of Andy if Freddy would only get in touch. Her last thoughts at night, before settling to sleep, were of Freddy. He had hurt her so badly by his sudden indifference. She needed at least to understand why.
The show was a success and her role had gained in importance. She now sang two solos, stepping out of the group of girls singing between the various acts.
She had received enquiries and had attended three auditions, which led to offers, but although she gave her best at each performance, aware that people had paid to come and deserved only the best, she was homesick and unutterably lonely. She began turning them down. She would be back in St David’s Well for Christmas.
To be a star needed not only talent, but dedication and a real hunger for success. She knew now that she lacked the latter and it was perhaps the most important of all.
* * *
Eynon was in the park clearing up the last leaves of autumn when Dolly ran towards him. He looked up and seeing Netta, smiled. ‘Hello little girl,’ he said, handing his broom to her. ‘Come to help me, have you?’
‘Are you my daddy?’ Dolly asked.
‘No such luck. Beautiful you are and I bet your dad is proud of you.’ Too late he remembered that such comments were taboo. With so many children having lost their fathers it wasn’t a wise remark to make. ‘I bet this is your mummy, eh?’ He smiled at Netta, still half remembering her but unsure how. ‘Lovely little thing, isn’t she?’
Netta made up her mind. It was now or never. ‘And she’s yours, Eynon.’
‘What?’ He laughed and picked the child up. ‘Giving her to me, are you? There’s a nice Christmas present you’d be.’ He glanced at Netta curiously, unable to understand her remark. ‘Well, I have to go, little lady, before Mr Wind comes and chases these leaves all over the park again.’
‘Dolly is your daughter, Eynon.’
He frowned and stared at her, wondering if her mind was disturbed. Deciding that humouring her was the safest way of dealing with her strangeness, he said, ‘I haven’t any children, but if I did, I’d like a daughter as beautiful as this one.’ He turned away and concentrated on his task.
‘Don’t pretend you’ve forgotten.’
Irritated now, he leaned on his broom and glared at her. ‘I don’t know you and I have work to do, so if you’ll go away and let me get on with it, I might not get the sack.’ He gestured to where a uniformed man was walking purposefully towards them.
Netta followed him as he began moving away, towards the park keeper. ‘The night before your wedding, you and I had a bit of fun. Surely you remember that?’
‘Mr Williams, can I have a word?’ Eynon walked away with his boss and behind him, Dolly called, ‘Goodbye Daddy.’ Eynon’s ears reddened and he explained to Mr Williams that the woman was obviously deranged.
That evening, he told Alice.
She stared at him, unable to find the words to tell him. Eynon was becoming more and more anxious and she finally told him the full story, about Netta following her, then making friends with Lilly and her insatiable curiosity about the Castle family. ‘It’s been clear to me that she’s planned this. Lilly is gullible and s
he was so glad to have a friend. She persuaded everyone that I was the one behaving oddly. I didn’t know what to do.’
‘You should have told me,’ Eynon said, hugging her. ‘For now, the best thing to do is ignore her. She’ll get bored if there’s no reaction and probably try her lies on someone else.’
Alice wanted to hear him tell her it couldn’t be true, that he had never shared a bed with another woman, but she dared not ask him. To sound as though she needed reassurance would hurt Eynon unnecessarily. The damage Netta was causing would increase. ‘Fancy the pictures?’ she asked brightly, hoping to disperse their worrying thoughts.
‘No, lovely girl. I think we’d better go and talk to Mam and Dad.’
Huw asked the question Alice longed to ask. ‘You’re sure you didn’t see this woman?’
‘I can’t be sure, no, Dad. That night was a bit of a blur. The wedding was rushed and the night before I might have been a bit drunk, and she does look familiar.’ He was holding Alice’s hand tightly. ‘I am sure of one thing though, I wouldn’t have slept with her. I’ve never wanted anyone but Alice.’
‘What are you saying, boy? That you were too drunk to be sure? That she might be right?’ Huw looked angry enough to explode.
‘No, I’m not!’ Eynon looked equally outraged. ‘What I’m saying is, she could have been there that night. She could build up a very convincing story, and some might believe her. How can I prove to anyone that Dolly isn’t mine, if people saw me talking to her that night and she tells them we spent the night together?’
‘No trouble there. Ronnie brought you home here before eleven. I remember that,’ Marged said. ‘And so will your father when he’s calmed down. I remember because we were sitting up waiting for you both. Audrey as well, and it was before eleven when we went to bed.’
‘Difficult to prove if she takes me to court,’ Eynon replied.
The following morning, with no job to go to, Alice went to see Lilly. ‘You must know something about Netta. You’ve been friends for months. Surely you know where she lives?’
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