by Harley Wylde
I wondered how long I could stay in here before Mei would worry or get curious. I wasn’t avoiding her, exactly. It was more that I wanted to avoid the awkwardness of getting into bed with her the first time, knowing that sex wasn’t part of the equation. I’d never just slept next to a woman before. Would she think I wanted more if I tried to hold her? Or would it freak her out and cause her to have a flashback of some sort? I didn’t know enough about her past to know if she had triggers other than certain names.
Standing in the shower wouldn’t solve anything. I washed my hair, then used a special cleanser on my beard. After I washed my body and rinsed, I got out and dried off. I typically put some oil in my beard after I washed it, but since I was going to bed, I decided to just leave it. I pulled on my clothes and ran a comb through my hair before I decided I’d spent enough time in the bathroom and opened the door.
The lights were off in the bedroom, but I could make out the slight lump on the left side of my bed. I shut off the bathroom light and made my way to the bed. Mei didn’t move or make a sound. On the off chance she’d already fallen asleep, I tried to slip into bed as gently as possible. I hugged the edge so I wouldn’t accidentally brush against her.
“Jameson,” she said softly.
Not asleep, then. “Yeah, Mei?”
She sighed. “I don’t bite.”
I chuckled a little. Maybe not, but now that she’d said it… yep, getting hard again. The thought of her biting into my shoulder as I pounded into her sweet pussy… Fuck!
“Didn’t figure you did.” But I certainly hoped she was a biter, at least during sex. Not so much at any other time.
She rolled over and faced me. “Then why are you way over there?”
I wasn’t sure how to answer her. If I told her that I worried I’d upset her if I got too close, would that only make things worse?
Mei reached over and tugged on me. I shifted and reached out for her. The second I placed my hand on her hip, she snuggled closer. It felt incredibly right to have her pressed against me. When I realized she wasn’t going to freak out, I relaxed and just enjoyed holding her. I’d never thought I would want to share a bed with a woman if sex wasn’t involved.
She shifted even closer and I knew the moment she realized I was hard as a damn rock because she tensed. Shit. I tried to pull my hips back, but she wouldn’t let me retreat. Being stronger than she was, I could have moved anyway, but the way her hand tightened on me was enough to halt my escape.
“I want you, Mei, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to act on those desires until you’re ready.”
“Jameson, I won’t break. If I were fragile, I’d have never lasted this long.”
“It’s not about breaking you, Mei. Most of your life you’ve had men take and take. It’s time someone gave you what you needed instead of worrying about what they wanted.”
She grew quiet and I thought that was the end of it. Until I felt something wet against my chest and heard her sniffle. Christ! Had I made her fucking cry?
“Kiss me?” she whispered. “Like before.”
It was probably the worst idea ever, but I couldn’t deny her request. Even in the darkness, her green eyes practically glowed. The brilliant hue pulled me in and I felt powerless against her. Reaching up, I curled my fingers under her chin, tilting her face a little, then I leaned closer and pressed my lips to hers. I heard her breath hitch, and I flicked my tongue across her mouth. When she opened and let me in, I knew I was a goner.
I slid my hand from her chin to her hair, fisting it as I held her captive and took what she so sweetly offered. The way she kissed me back, as if she’d never kissed anyone but me, made some caveman part of my brain kick in. Before I could even think about my actions, I’d rolled us so that she lay under me, my body pressing her into the mattress, and my cock nestled against the apex of her thighs.
Mei parted her legs and I could feel the heat of her even through her panties. Despite the insistent throbbing in my dick, I managed to at least make sure to take care of her too. I slipped a hand under the T-shirt she’d taken from my dresser, gently sweeping across her ribs and up to her perky breasts. As I palmed the soft mound, I felt her nipple harden. My lips devoured hers as I played with that hard peak, rolling it between my fingers, then pinching it.
Mei cried out and bucked against me. I drew back to look down at her and saw the surprise and awe etched on her face. The sheer wonder in her eyes was enough to calm the fire licking through my veins. I lifted off her a bit so I could tug up the shirt, going slowly in case she showed the slightest hint of hesitation. Her breasts weren’t overly large, but to me they were perfect. I rolled her nipple again and leaned down to lick the other one.
“Jameson!” Her fingers bit into my shoulder as she gripped me tight. “I-I-I… W-what’s happening?”
I growled and took her nipple into my mouth, giving it a long, hard suck before lightly scraping it with my teeth. Her body went tight, and I heard her shocked indrawn breath right before she shuddered and let out a keening cry that I knew I’d remember for the rest of my life. My sweet Mei had just come for the first time, and I was going to make damn sure she found that same pleasure, if not more, again and again. I couldn’t remember ever having a woman so responsive to just having her nipples played with, but I loved hearing Mei’s cries of pleasure.
My gaze locked on hers. As much as I wanted to take things further, I wouldn’t unless I was certain this was what she wanted too. I needed her to say the words.
“Do you want me to keep going, Mei? It’s okay if you want to stop.”
She shook her head. “Don’t stop. Please, Jameson. I need this, need you. But most of all, I want to replace all those ugly memories with something beautiful. No one’s ever made me feel like this before.”
“You okay with me undressing you?” I asked.
Mei struggled to sit up and pulled the shirt over her head, then tossed it aside. When she lay back, I worked her panties down her thighs and threw them on top of the T-shirt. Her mound was mostly bare, but there was the faintest shadow of red hair growing back in. It seemed my woman was a true redhead. I stroked a finger down the soft lips of her pussy, fighting back a growl when I felt how wet she was. She’d easily take me, but I could wait a bit more.
I eased down the bed until my shoulders were pushing her thighs wider apart. I gripped her legs and bent them so her feet were flat on the mattress. Glancing up her body, I saw her watching me, a hungry expression in her eyes. She might not have ever experienced this, but she knew exactly what I was about to do. I blew across her pussy, making her shiver before I licked along the seam, then speared her with my tongue.
“Oh, Jesus!” Mei lifted her hips, pushing her mound closer to my lips. “Again. Please, I need you to do that again.”
My lips kicked up on one corner in amusement as I licked at her again before thrusting my tongue into her wet heat. Using my fingers, I held her open and used every trick I’d ever learned to drive her wild. She screamed my name, thrashed on the bed, and soaked the sheets as she came multiple times. Mei whimpered and moaned as I rubbed her clit with my tongue, then sucked on it hard. When she came yet again, her voice hoarse as she called out my name, I knew it was time.
I wiped her juices from my lips and beard, shoved my sweats and underwear off, then settled over her. Mei gripped me with her thighs as my cock rubbed against her wet folds. It only took a shift of my hips to lodge the head of my cock into her snug entrance. Her eyes were darker, and I could see her pulse pounding in her throat. I held her gaze as I sank into her, working my cock into her pussy one inch at a time, until she’d taken all of me.
“Is this still okay?” I asked. It would fucking kill me, but I’d back off and walk away if that’s what she wanted.
“Don’t you dare stop, Jameson.” She wrapped her legs around me and gave me a smile that lit up her face.
I took her slowly at first, wanting our first time to be special. Memorable. Even more than that,
I watched her every reaction to make sure that she was here with me and hadn’t gone off elsewhere in her head. When I was certain that she could handle it, handle me, I gave her everything I had. I took her hard. Deep. Fast. The headboard slammed into the wall with every thrust of my cock. Mei held my gaze as I pounded into her. With a twist of my hips, I brushed against her clit. Her eyes dilated and her lips parted. I did it twice more, and then she was coming, soaking me with her release, and squeezing my dick so hard I nearly saw stars.
I gripped her ass cheek with my hand, angling her so I could slide in deeper. As I drove into her, I knew that nothing would ever top our first time. I slammed into her as my balls drew up and I started filling her with my cum. My heart was racing and I could barely catch my breath. It wasn’t until I pulled out and saw our mingled release spill onto the bed that I realized I’d taken her bare.
“Shit. Mei, I…”
She leaned up on her elbows and looked down her body. Her face paled and she bolted from the bed, rushing to the bathroom. The door slammed and I winced. I was such a fucking idiot. I’d sworn to myself that I wouldn’t let my dick lead the way, and yet I’d done exactly that.
“Motherfucker,” I muttered.
I went to the hall bathroom to clean up, then I stripped the bed and put on clean sheets. Mei still hadn’t come out and I wasn’t sure if I should ask if she was okay, or just give her some space. Obviously I’d fucked up royally. I decided she’d come out when she was ready and went into the kitchen. After I guzzled a glass of tea, I brewed a pot of coffee. No fucking way I’d be sleeping now.
I heard the soft tread of her feet and turned to find her leaning against the kitchen doorway, tears streaking her face and her lower lip trembling.
“Jameson, I…” She sank her teeth into her bottom lip.
“I’m sorry, Mei. I wasn’t thinking.”
She gave a humorless laugh that ended in a hiccup as she fought to control her emotions. When her gaze met mine, I could see that she was retreating. I knew I should have walked away earlier, should have given her a simple kiss, then taken my ass to the other room.
“We can get the morning-after pill if you want. I can go get it.” I turned around, not wanting her to see how much it hurt me to say those words. The thought of her carrying my kid made me feel all warm inside. I’d never really wanted children. Until now.
“Is that why you think I’m upset?” she asked, sounding much closer than she’d been a moment ago.
I turned to find her right in front of me.
“Isn’t it?” I asked.
“No, you idiot! You had your doctor do all sorts of tests on me, but I know there hasn’t been time to get them back yet. What if I’m carrying something and just gave it to you?”
I honestly hadn’t even thought of that. I should have, especially as careful as I’d always been, but this was Mei. She was mine, and that’s all that had been on my mind. Yeah, I knew about her past, and I’d worried about her. But that was it exactly. I’d been worried about her and not even thinking of myself. Another first for me when it came to a woman.
“When your results come back, we’ll handle anything that comes up. I got tested not that long ago, and I haven’t been with anyone since. Until you. If you have something, then we’ll get treatment for you and I’ll have the doc run tests on me just to be safe.”
“You’re being too calm about this,” she said. “What if I have HIV or something? Trotter didn’t always make them wear condoms. If they paid enough, he’d let them do whatever they wanted to me. And I… I sometimes had to make a trade for a place to sleep. Those men didn’t bother with protection either.”
“Mei, we’ll handle it. Whatever it is. For all you know, you’re clean and worried for no reason.”
“No reason?” she asked, her voice going shrill. “What if I just doomed us both? Or a kid? Jesus, Jameson. What if you knocked me up and I have some incurable disease?”
My heart ached at the words I was about to say. “Then we’ll ask for an abortion, if it means that’s what’s for the best.”
She paled a little. “What if I’m already pregnant? What if I find out I’m going to have a kid and we don’t even know if it’s yours?”
I reached for her, wanting to calm her fears. I didn’t like the thought of her having some other guy’s baby, especially considering how it would have been conceived, but I also knew I’d never make her give up a child. The kid would be a part of her, and I’d raise it like my own. Hell, maybe the doc had used part of the blood he drew to run a pregnancy test. Maybe she was worried for no reason.
She leaned her forehead against my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, just holding her and giving her what comfort I could.
“I’ve had abortions before,” she mumbled against me. “I may not even be able to have kids anymore.”
The thought of never sharing that experience with her, never having a kid that was a little part of each of us, hurt. If that was true, if she couldn’t have kids, then we’d adopt if she wanted a family. Plenty of kids out there needed a home. Might not be able to go through the legal channels, all things considered, but I’d make it happen. The babies who went into the system sometimes got there by way of a dumpster. I’d just make sure the club stepped in first and took the kid. Hell, it wasn’t a bad idea to run by Grizzly anyway. Even if no one here took those kids in, I knew some of the other clubs we called family might, or they’d know of some couple who would give them a good home.
“I’m sorry, honey.” I knew the words were pathetic at best. It wasn’t like a simple phrase, no matter how heartfelt, could wipe out the things she’d been through. “Whatever happens, just know that I’m right here with you. If you can’t have kids, then we either won’t have any or we’ll adopt. Let’s just focus on right this moment.”
She nodded and tightened her hold on me. “I don’t know what I ever did to deserve having you in my life, Jameson. I’m so glad that Beau brought me here and I got to meet you.”
“Me too, baby. Me too.”
Meeting Mei was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Whatever the future held, we’d face it together.
But perhaps I should have said as much to Mei. If I’d known what the morning would bring, I would have.
Chapter Seven
Meiling
My stomach rolled and bile rose up my throat as I stared at Trotter. The Prospect on the gate refused to let him in, and I’d thought I was safe as long as he was out there. It seemed I was wrong. The barrel of the gun pointed at my face showed me the error of my ways. When Dingo’s phone had rung this morning, he’d grumbled something and hadn’t woken up, so I’d answered it. Or more accurately, I’d pressed the button to accept the call and the man on the other end just started talking. Hearing that Trotter had come for me, I’d thought maybe I could convince him to walk away without bothering Dingo. I hadn’t told anyone my plan, and the Prospect on the gate had been more than a little shocked at my arrival.
“You’re coming with me, Mei. You’re costing me money, you stupid cunt!”
I didn’t even flinch at the names he hurled at me anymore. The Prospect looked torn as to what he should do. I saw his fingers twitch and wondered if he was about to pull the gun I saw tucked at the small of his back. That would either piss off Trotter and make things a lot worse, or he’d shoot the man who had made my life a nightmare the last several months.
Either way, I had a feeling Dingo was going to be pissed at me.
“You don’t own me, Trotter,” I said. The Prospect was reaching for his pocket, slowly. I didn’t know what he had in there, but I also didn’t want Trotter to notice. Better to keep his focus on me. “I belong here now.”
He sneered and spat at me through the chain link. “You’re just a stupid whore. Your pussy isn’t any more special than anyone else’s. The second you’re gone, they’ll replace you with someone else. All they care about is a place to stick their dicks.”
From the corner of
my eye, I saw the Prospect slide a phone from his pocket and press a few buttons before letting it fall back inside. I didn’t know who he’d just called, but part of me really hoped it wasn’t Dingo. If he found out how stupid I’d been, he would erupt. And I could admit that this had been the dumbest thing I’d ever done in my life.
“I’m more than that.” I stood a little straighter. “I’m not just a whore to them.”
I heard the sound of a motorcycle coming down the road that curved through the compound, then a second one. Before Trotter got a chance to toss out any more threats or insults, the man who’d asked me to suck him off -- Demon if I remembered right -- and the man I’d run into my first time here both pulled up on their bikes. I didn’t remember his name, and I didn’t much care what it was right then. I glanced their way for just a moment, but it was too long.
A gun went off and my ears rang. There was a burning pain through my neck and the world went a little fuzzy. I tried to take a step toward Demon, but my legs gave out and the ground rushed up at me. He looked like he was shouting, but I couldn’t hear anything. The compound seemed to explode with life suddenly, more bikes and men showing up. Two of them knelt beside me, one pressing a hand against my chest to keep me down and the other ripped off his shirt, holding it against my neck. Their lips were moving, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.
I sucked in a breath and there was a loud pop in my ears. Then everything was almost too loud as I heard shouting, more bikes, and gunfire.
“Dingo,” I said.
“We’re getting him. Just stay still, Mei. You’ve been hit.”
Hit? I didn’t understand what he meant at first, then I felt the cool trickle of something as it dripped from my neck. Was that blood? Was I… shot? That fucker!
“I hate that man,” I said.
The man holding me down smiled at my words. “You and me both, honey. Just hang on. We’ve got the doc heading in, and I’m sure Dingo will be here any second.”